Heh, heh, heh... This was a tricky chapter to write.
Erm, warning to those with little minds: Think about this chapter's name to know the content within it.
Heh. >.> And for those who don't like this kinda stuff, you'll at least wanna know what happens at the end. Well... read, review, and enjoy!
Disclaimer: None of this is mine... 'kay?
Erased
Chapter 22
Desire
After the battle, I helped lead Sherry back to the hotel. She seemed too tired to fully move on her own, the woman was too busy crying her eyes out to focus on much anyway. When she buried her face in the side of my shoulder I could feel the hot tears on her face against my skin, pouring down her face. A few other human bystanders stared at us strangely as we walked down the street, even in the hotel. I could hear a few comment on the way we looked as we passed by, but I ignored everything they said and continued on my way. I had my own concerns and a stupid human's thoughts were certainly not one of them.
I had to admit it, though, after that battle… I too even felt slightly shaken up. Hiebie's bookkeeper… I had no idea what had happened to her in her lifetime, but the way she acted and how it all ended… it was too uncanny. I knew that Sherry was also upset about it all. For her, it was too obvious.
The entire time I walked Sherry back to our room, I could feel the strongest urge to do something… it was driving me utterly insane. Sherry was pouring out her heart to me and I was unfortunately listening to what she had to say. What was I to do?
When we finally reached our room, I kicked the door open and closed it the same way, afterwards trying to let go of Sherry but she suddenly clung to me with a strong force, not giving any signs of letting go.
"Brago, please don't leave me," she whispered between a sob. I merely stared at her blankly, not really thinking about what to say to her. "Please don't go, please don't leave me…"
I sighed before turning to look away for a moment. The two of us were really in a bad situation here. What should I do next? Sherry was being overemotional again, I was feeling something that I shouldn't be, and we both looked like shit.
"Brago…" When I heard the woman call out my name again, I turned around to stare at her in the eyes. Tears were forming and slowly trickling down her cheek as she sniffed, clutching onto my arm tighter. I merely sighed.
"All right… Fine," I muttered, "I'll stay… but you need to clean up…"
I had no idea what I was doing. I led Sherry to her bathroom so she could wash up, though she still clung to my arm tightly as we walked across the room. Once there, I turned around, not facing her, while she changed into her fresh nightgown. Afterwards, she picked up a towel and soaked it with water in the sink; the woman then glanced into the mirror to see where the blood was to wash it off. Now that she was done changing, I turned around and merely stood by her side, staring at my own reflection. I could see blood dripping down my forehead past the markings on my eyes. That had been one of the worst battles I had ever been in…
Sherry turned to face me after she had cleaned off the blood on her face and stared up at me with a saddened expression. "Brago," she murmured, I could tell she was desperately trying to hold back tears. "You're hurt too… You should clean up as well."
"I'm fine," I responded slowly, not really wanting to speak at the present moment. The woman's eyes saddened and she shook her head before reaching up to my face with the cloth on a clean side.
"No… you need it…" she spoke softly, dabbing the wet fabric against my face, wiping away the blood. I closed my eyes and remained silent, although I didn't really want it, the cloth felt… good. It… helped me relax somewhat… Sherry put the material back under the faucet again, rinsing off some of the blood though it was still quite stained and put it to my face once more.
When she was done, I turned to look at myself in the mirror. The blood had been cleaned up fairly well, however, the wound was still there… though it had stopped bleeding.
"Where else do you need cleaned?" murmured Sherry quietly and I shrugged.
"I don't know. I don't need anything else."
"But please, I want to help!" said my bookkeeper quickly and I turned to look at her, I sighed before she continued. "Brago, just let me help you, let me make you happy…"
With that said in her most pitiful voice I couldn't help but sigh again. "My back, I suppose," I said quietly. There was a small wound there from where I was hit in the back with one of Hiebie's ice punches. Sherry nodded her head while I pulled off my shirt so she could reach to my back.
As she brushed the damp cloth against my back I immediately felt even more relaxed, feeling the cold fabric against my skin was near soothing. Somewhat, at least. However, one of Sherry's fingers moved off the rag and the tips touched my skin. I held my breath at the sensation of her skin against mine; I forced myself to calm down when she stopped, but I immediately froze when she wrapped her arms around me and rested her head against my back.
Turning my head around to look at her, I stared. "Sherry?"
She sobbed again, this time I could tell she wasn't able to hold back any tears. Her face was wet against my back as she started crying. "Brago… I'm… I'm just so… so…. I don't know what… I feel so sorry right now."
"Sorry for what?" I inquired softly. Why was I asking this…?
The woman inhaled and exhaled as she turned her head slightly, the bangs on her face tickled my bare back and I suddenly felt rather uncomfortable. Yet… at the same time…
"For that girl back at the park," she responded quietly. "And… and for not being strong enough…" I blinked as she said this. "If it weren't for me, if I could have just been a little stronger, maybe this wouldn't have happened and… and she wouldn't have died… The battle could have ended differently…"
"If the battle ended differently," I quickly started, "Then there would also be the possibility that we could have lost. If that human had to die in order for us to win then it doesn't really matter. We won, right?"
"But… Brago…" Sherry whimpered. "If I were stronger, we could have won and saved that girl. She wouldn't be dead!"
"Sherry," I said in a short tone. "She's dead. It's over. Get used to it." Even though I was saying this, I, for some strange, stupid reason, sympathized to what the blonde was feeling, as uncanny as it sounded.
The woman sobbed again and held onto me tighter, the strange sensation returned as she continued to cry, repeatedly saying that none of this would have happened if she had been more powerful. I sighed at this and forced myself to not do anything rash and turned myself around. Sherry was still holding onto me tightly as I faced her, her grip tightened and she nuzzled her face against my chest.
"It's just not fair!" she cried. "I know that I can get stronger, if it weren't for me losing my memory, none of this would have ever happened! Maybe I just wasn't strong enough then because I wasn't able to prevent myself from losing everything!" She then turned to look up at me, her azure eyes gleaming. "I don't want to lose you either! I want to make you happier so badly, though I know you hate me, Brago… I know you do! But I can't help it, I love you so much, I…"
"Quiet," I muttered, placing the tip of my forefinger upon her lips. I realized what I was doing and quickly removed it, though the woman still remained quite silent for a small moment, only before realizing what had happened herself. The tears started to stroll down her cheeks once again.
"But…" she protested before burying her face into my chest once again, I sighed. "Just want to make you happy is all," she murmured, holding onto me even tighter than before.
There wasn't much I could do in this situation… but as I stared down at her, the unusual feeling from before tugged my senses, it took a great amount of restraint to keep my breathing normal and prevent from becoming unsteady. However, along with the unidentified sensation also came the desire… It was back, stronger than ever. I had the urge to do something all of a sudden, a very powerful urge. I didn't like it, not one bit, but the feeling was strong, too strong. I feared I was giving in… Damn weakness!
"I wish I could remember," wept the woman profoundly, "I wish I could have my memories and personality back, I know you'd be a lot happier if that were to happen. Why can't it… why…?"
I closed my eyes while Sherry continued to whimper and sob, I forced myself to fight off the temptation that was screaming at me to take action. "You're tired," I said quietly. "You need your rest." After that, I led the woman out of the bathroom, trampling over her bloody dress and into the other room where the bed was so she could get some sleep. She would need it, especially after that battle… So I walked her over to the divan and laid her down, yet for some odd reason I went down with her as I let her fall, keeping my face close to hers, our faces barely touching. When I realized what I was doing and made to let go of her, she quickly sat up and grabbed my neck, tightening her grip while doing so.
"Brago," she whispered, her eyes wide, full of panic. I grit my teeth together tightly. "Don't leave me, please…! I don't want to be alone! I'm so sorry, I… I just want to remember!" Tears leaked down from her eyes down her cheek even more as she blinked, forcing the salty liquid down her face.
I stared at her oddly as her nose barely brushed up against mine, her breath tickling my face. I too blinked before turning away quickly, the woman whimpered again.
"Please," begged the woman as more tears trickled down her cheek. She sniffed again and continued to cry while I merely averted my attention back to her and then away for a split second, contemplating on a possible way to make her stop. "Brago, I just want to remember, the girl could have lived if I were stronger! Plus I know you would be happier if I were back to my old self," continued the blonde. "I just want to make you happier… I need to be stronger!"
"Shut up," I murmured, keeping my gaze well away from hers. Don't push it, Sherry…
The woman's grip tightened even more and I could feel myself too becoming rather tense, if anything else happened I feared that I would do something regretful… I could feel her gaze upon mine as she continued, still with the crying. "But… Brago," she protested further, the pitch in her tone rising. "If I had all my memories back, I—"
Before she could continue, however, I quickly turned around with my eyes closed and immediately pressed my lips against hers, instantly forcing her to stop talking. Sherry stiffened upon my actions, most likely surprised (hell, I was surprised). However, as soon as I felt her just slightly relax, I quickly removed myself from her and turned away with my eyes still shut tight together. I didn't want to look at her, not one bit. After that… I had only done that to silence her, but that side of me with the desire had been screaming at me to do that for ages now…. I didn't know why, but I had finally listened to it for just this once. I had finally fallen to my weakness, to my desire…
I had fallen for Sherry.
I opened my eyes when I felt the woman rest her hand against my shoulder and I warily turned to look at her. Her azure eyes glittered with curiosity as she stared at me with a pondering look; though she had stopped crying, I could still see the formation of tears in the corner of her eyes. She began to move her hand up and she rested it against the side of my face, gently caressing my cheek. I could feel myself become rather heated as she stared at me intensely. At least her crying had quickly subsided…
"Brago…?" whispered Sherry faintly as she rubbed her thumb against my face, a little below my eye. The woman sat up on the bed and continued her actions. From the look in her eyes I could clearly see that she was disappointed about something, but what? I knew she wanted much more from me than what I had given her; she craved for something else.
I personally didn't know if I truly wanted it as well, but my desire was going on overdrive. Unfortunately, I felt myself begin to lose the remaining control I possessed. Yet again I was falling victim to my desire… to her…
Slowly and steadily my body began to move forward while I in van used every amount of restraint I had. Such useless tactics. Before I knew it, I was merely an inch away from the woman's lips. I hovered beside her for a moment, just staring at her while trying to read her thoughts and to force myself not to give in. There was a feeling of excitement welling up within the both of us as we breathed heavily, the heat of another's breath beating against each other's face. The sensation sent a tingling feeling down my spine.
I didn't want it, I completely, truly didn't want it, but I couldn't help myself, not when I was so damn weak in this pathetic situation. The next thing I knew I was gently brushing my lips against Sherry's, taking in her sweet taste all for myself. Sherry gasped between breaths as I slowly began to push her down onto the mattress, climbing over her frail body to get a better reach.
Never before had I felt this way, this… strange feeling of excitement, of power, the feeling of control and desire all at once. I hated it, I loathed it—it was sickening to experience. And here I had fallen victim to its overwhelming influence. Me, the great Brago of the Makai, of the black book, even I, whom had such amazing power, had fallen to its disgusting manipulation. I had just been turned weak by this unrecognizable thing.
When I kissed the woman softly she would return my actions with a devoted embrace, both of us equal in power in the game. But when I kissed her with a harsh fury she would try to return the embrace but fail, giving me full control over her as she completely submitted herself to me, allowing me to take possession of her as I caressed her lips with my own, my desire driving me all the way. And while I kissed her like this, I could almost taste her very essence, such a strange yet unique feeling.
I felt as if I were going insane when the woman moaned, the vibrating sound was almost like the purring of a cat, I felt so aroused by this action that it started to drive me crazy. The noise was torture, it was taunting, coaxing, telling me to continue on. She was enlightening me, forcing me to carry out the game, forcing me to fill her craving need for more. It was so persuasive to listen to, how could I stop after hearing that overwhelming sound?
Sherry's skin was so delicate, it was hard to not bite it without making her squeal in pain or to not fulfill any or all of my longings. My teeth were too sharp to graze against her neck as the woman squirmed and gasped underneath me. So I stopped and kissed her again before leaving one last mark against her shoulder.
She moaned again, accepting my actions. I felt myself losing conscious of what I was doing; I felt that I had become so unrecognizable that nobody would see me for who I was, one of the most powerful demons of the Makai that was feared by many. I had lost all control and I feared there was no stopping this. Just by the soft touch of her hands delicately running through my messy hair would send my heart pounding and shivers down my back…. What had happened to me?
But then suddenly, after another minute of toying with one another, I heard Sherry gasp and then violently push me away from her, immediately ending the embrace we had. Her taste still lingered within my mouth and her scent within my nose; I savored both before taking a breath and then exhaling, breathing in the fresh air that did not contain her smell.
After that, I stared down at the woman before me as I wiped away my mouth with my hand and our eyes then met. The woman gasped again, her eyes wide in… in what I believe was shock.
"W-what the hell were you doing?" she cried, biting her lip slightly, her cobalt eyes wide in confusion. Confusion? Now I was the confused one here, though I had to be immensely grateful to her for stopping our little game. If she hadn't, I feared that it could have gone on longer, harder—possibly to something I truly didn't want. Though with my incessantly growing desire, I was quite positive that it could have very well happened. I was now so utterly disgusted with myself for even thinking of the possibility, nonetheless having such an intimate embrace with a human.
I said nothing as something then caught my eye and I turned around to look and see what it was. Well, this was a surprise… My book, which had been thrown carelessly on the floor, was glowing as violently as ever; its radiance had even brightened the entire room. But if this was happening, then that meant…
"Answer me, Brago!" Sherry shoved me off of her yet again since I still happened to be on top of her. I was forced off of sitting on her waist and she then sat up and glared harshly at me when I remained silent. I stared at her blankly, not at all flinching when she shouted at me yet again to answer her. Yet still, I was silent. The woman decided to continue anyway, her eyes vibrantly shaking. "Tell me what's happening and why! I… I don't understand this! The last thing I recall is heading out somewhere and then being attacked by this demon, and then the next thing I now I'm here with you and we're… we're…"
After she spoke I did a double take, my eyes wide. Without realizing what I was doing, I rested my hands on the woman's shoulder and intently stared at her. "You remember?" I inquired, "You remember what happened?"
Almost immediately my bookkeeper slapped my hands away from her shoulder and then pushed me farther away from her yet again and she clenched her fists, staring at me with a hard frown. My brow deepened after her aggressive movement. I did not like her pushing me around like that, but I maintained my composure and instead studied her expression. She was more pissed off and confused than I was.
"Of course I remember!" she snapped angrily after a minute of staring at me blankly, her azure eyes pulled into a frown. "What do you take me for, Brago, an idiot? That's the last thing I remember before waking up with you here on top of me! And do tell, what the hell was that all about?" Her voice was strong and demanding, I froze in realization. I hadn't heard that tone since…
"Sherry?" I asked.
"What?" she immediately snapped back as she clenched her teeth. For a moment I was hesitant, but after musing to myself for a moment I continued. I just had to know…
"Sherry… do you remember who I am?"
I was sure that sounded like an idiotic thing to say, but if I was going to find out the truth then it had to be asked. Depending on her reply I would be able to determine what the hell was really going on. Sherry stared at me in bemusement for a moment, giving off an expression that clearly said, 'what are you talking about?'
Blinking, Sherry then frowned even deeper and said, "Now what kind of question is that? You're the one who saved me from Koko and her damn mamono, and are one of the 100 participants in the war for the king of your world, the Makai. We've spent a lot of time together, fighting and training for battles. Why would I forget?"
I stared back at her. She had spoken with such emotion that spoke the truth, and at this, my eyes widened. For once, in one of the first and hopefully only times in my life, I was actually truly shocked.
Her memory and personality had been restored.
The original Sherry was back.
