This isn't a song fic, but I'm starting this chapter with the song that inspired the chapter, just because it's so amazingly beautiful. If you have a chance to listen to the song, you'll see just how beautiful it is.
we
have both been here before
knockin'
upon love's door
begging
for someone to let us in
knowing
this we can agree
to
keep each other company
never
to go down that road again
my
beloved one
my
beloved one
your
eyes shine through me
you
are so divine to me
your
heart has a home in mine
we
won't have to say a word
with
a touch all shall be heard
when
I search my heart it's you I find
my
beloved one
my
beloved one
my
beloved one
you
were meant for me
I
believe you were sent to me
from
a dream straight into my arms
hold
your body close to me
you
mean the most to me
we
will keep each other safe from harm
my
beloved one
my
beloved one
my
beloved one
my
beloved one
"Beloved One", Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals, Album: Burn To Shine
Chapter Thirty-One
September 11, 1976
Janie took a sip of coffee, then looked up at the knock on her door. Beau was standing in the doorway. "Come on in." He stepped in and sat on the wicker chair near her bed.
"What's all this?" he asked, waving his hand in a sweeping gesture over her bed. There were papers all over it. Janie was propped against the headboard, two pillows behind her back, a yellow legal pad on her lap, and a pen in her hand.
"It's all my information on Bobby and Jack. I'm working on my report for Judge Lundeen." She looked at him. "Beau, can I ask you something?"
"Sure, what?"
"Well, you've been working at the farm. What do you think? About Bobby living there, I mean."
"You're not gonna put it in your report, are you?"
"No, I just want another opinion."
"Do you think the lawyers will make a big deal out of the fact that I'm your brother and I work at the farm?"
"I don't know. Probably, but since I'm not officially working on this, well, sort of I am, but the report is something extra the judge asked for, so I'm not going to worry about it. I'm just going to do what he wanted. I'll let them worry about it."
"Okay, well, I don't actually see Bobby and Jack that much. There's a lot of work to do at the farm and Ennis keeps us busy. Jack does all the paperwork, so he's in the house a lot. Bobby spends most of his time with Danny, but he's expected home for lunch, unless he's eating at Danny's. That's probably when I see them together the most–at lunch. We all talk, joke around, laugh, and Bobby's part of that. He listens to Jack and Ennis, just like they're his parents. Well, of course Jack is his parent, but he's the same with Ennis." Beau paused, thinking. "Jack is always so patient with Bobby. I can see they love each other."
"Does Bobby ever talk about his grandparents?"
"Not around me, no."
"Have you ever seen Jack, or Ennis, for that matter, spank or hit Bobby?"
Beau snorted, "No way. He's a good kid. They don't even need to tell him something more than once or twice and he minds. He has good manners, too."
"Beau, this might sound weird, but I have to ask. Have you ever seen Jack and Ennis do anything, you know, umm, inappropriate? In front of Bobby?"
Beau's eyes narrowed, "What do you mean by inappropriate? If you mean something sexual, no, I haven't. I can't even imagine them doing something like that where someone might see them. If you mean a kiss or holding hands . . . I'll be really disappointed in you, Janie. If they were a straight couple you wouldn't even ask that."
"Beau, of course I meant sexual. I told you I had to ask."
He gave her a mock glare, then said, "To be honest, I wouldn't know Jack and Ennis were, you know, a couple, if someone hadn't told me. Well, I take that back, I probably would've figured it out pretty quickly, but I'm tuned into guys like them–like me. But they just don't show it, unless you're looking for it. It's in a look or the brush of hands, a touch. They're very subtle."
"Do you have any concerns? Any at all?"
"Yeah, I'm concerned about Bobby getting spoiled from having two great dads," he replied, a grin on his face.
"Goofball. I'm serious."
"So am I, sis. So, is the interrogation over?"
"Yes, yes." She flapped her hand at him. "Go on."
"Janie," Beau looked down at his hands, "umm, I thought you might ask about the other farm hands. You do know that two other gay guys work there. Do you think it might be brought up in court?"
"Damn, you're right. But who would know that?"
"Well, I know Jack mentioned something that his lawyer was concerned that L.D. seems to get information he shouldn't have known about. And before Ennis fell off the roof, he thought he saw someone in the woods. I've been thinking about it and I think someone's been spying on the farm."
"But you said nothing goes on there, except work."
"Yeah . . . but, well, when Jack and Ennis were in Wyoming I, that is, I mean . . . God, I can't believe I have to tell you this like this. Tyler and I were working there alone and, well, we–"
Janie clapped her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide. "Oh no! You didn't have sex with him at the farm!"
"No! God, get your mind out of the gutter! We kissed a few times. But since no one else was around, we didn't bother to hide. Not that we should have to," he added. "I never even thought of someone spying until Ennis fell. I'm sure Tyler didn't think of it either. Do you think L.D. will use that against Jack, if he knows?"
Janie frowned. "I don't know. I mean, Jack and Bobby were gone and it's not like you or Tyler were committing adultery–you're both single. It just happens to be that you're both men. I'd guess his lawyer might try to say it's an unhealthy environment to raise a child in." She was thoughtful for a few minutes, while Beau sat, feeling miserable about the whole situation. "Hey," Janie said suddenly, "you didn't even tell me about you and Tyler. What gives, big brother?"
"First of all, I don't tell you about everyone I make out with. Besides, it's not like it even led anywhere."
"Really? Why not?"
"I don't know if I should tell you, Ms. Social Worker."
"Stop it, I'm listening strictly as your sister now."
"Put down the pen and notebook, then."
"Oh, all right," she said and tossed them towards the end of the bed.
"I really like him and I think he likes me, but he's been too hung up on Ennis. I think he's in love with him. Or was. I don't know. Jack and Ennis seem to have worked everything out between themselves, but Tyler is still trying to deal with it."
"Wow, it's like a soap opera," Janie said.
"Don't joke, Janie. It isn't funny."
"I'm not joking. It's kind of sad, really. And there's more. Kelly told me, a while ago, that she was in love with Tyler, but, of course, she knew she wasn't his type."
"I didn't know that."
"She does seem to have moved on, though, with Dwayne."
"Thank goodness he and Dayle are straight. Can you imagine what L.D.'s lawyer would do if we were all gay?"
"Yeah, thank goodness."
"Speaking of Dayle, how is he?"
Janie blushed and said, "He's just fine. I keep telling him I'm too old for him, but he doesn't believe me."
"Yes, I can tell you push really hard," he said, rolling his eyes.
"I'm sure he'll find a young, cute college girl soon and forget all about me."
"Then he's a cad."
"A cad? Who talks like that?" She grinned at him just as the phone rang.
"I bet that's the cad, now."
"He's not a cad!" Janie threw a pillow at him. "Get out of my room!" She answered the phone as Beau left. He picked up the pillow and tossed it back at her, noticing that her cheeks had flushed to a pretty rose as she smiled into the phone. Ah, I guessed right, he thought.
Jack returned from the waiting room with a cup of coffee. He'd actually quit smoking after the first couple of days of Ennis being in the hospital. The hospital didn't allow smoking in the rooms and he found it took too much time away from Ennis to go outside and smoke, so he'd given it up. He was surprised to find he didn't miss it as much as he thought he would. He stood at the window, watching the sun set as he drank his coffee, then returned to his chair and took Ennis's hand in his, threading their fingers together.
He realized he must have dozed for a while, because next he knew, Hilary, the nurse who usually worked nights, was in the room, checking on Ennis. He'd long ago stopped dropping Ennis's hand when the nurses were in the room. He figured the fact that he was here almost twenty-four hours a day probably made them aware he and Ennis were more than just friends.
"Hey, Jack. How are you tonight?"
"Same as always. How're you?" His smile didn't quite reach his eyes.
"Just fine." She finished writing in Ennis's chart and looked at Jack again, noting the dullness behind his brilliant blue eyes. "Jack, you look exhausted. Why don't you go home and get a real night's sleep. I promise I'll call you the minute, the second, there's a change. You've been sleeping in that chair for two weeks now."
Jack smiled a small smile. "Thanks fer yer concern, sweetheart, but I can't do that."
"Well, how about I find you an empty room here and you can sleep in a bed and still be close."
Jack looked at Ennis's pale face. "No, I think I'll stay right here."
She sighed. "All right, but Jack, if you want to lie down, there's a little room next to Ennis. I'll be the only one in here tonight, unless there's a problem. No one would know and you might actually get some sleep."
"I didn't think that was allowed."
"Well, I'm not gonna tell anyone, besides, it happens all the time."
"Not with two men, though, I bet."
"You got me there, but so what?" She winked at him and put the chart in its slot at the end of the bed. "I'll be back in a couple of hours, unless you need me before that."
"Thanks, Hilary."
She smiled warmly and closed the door firmly behind her.
Jack looked at Ennis. He looked so strange, with his hair buzzed off. They'd done that when Nancy had put the stitches in, but Jack hadn't known until she'd removed the bandage. He ran his hand over the prickly hair, then gently down Ennis's cheek, which was also prickly. Need a shave, bud, he thought. I prob'ly do too. He thought about laying down next to Ennis. Now that Hilary had put the idea into his head, he couldn't get it out and the need became overpowering. He moved Ennis's hand and lay down carefully, facing him.
"Ennis, please wake up. I need ya so much. I can't live without ya, bud." It was the same plea he made every day, every hour. Jack raised his head and put his lips on Ennis's for a moment, then put his arm across Ennis's chest and soon fell asleep.
Jack woke later, startled, sensing someone else in the room. He opened his eyes and saw Hilary, checking on Ennis. He started to get up, but she stopped him with a gentle hand on his chest. "Stay there," she whispered. "I'll be done in a minute. I didn't mean to wake you."
He thought about getting up anyway, but she was right, he was exhausted, and it felt so good to be here, next to Ennis, so he stayed where he was. "Thanks, Hilary," he murmured and fell asleep again.
Jack thought he heard someone say his name, a soft whisper in the night. He snuggled closer to Ennis, still lost in his dream that they were at home, in their own bed.
"Jack."
"What, baby?" He tightened his arm around Ennis.
"Where are we?"
Jack became still, then opened his eyes slowly and found himself looking in the deep, dark eyes next to him.
"Ennis? Oh my god." Jack's eyes filled with tears. His relief was so strong, so overwhelming, he couldn't stop them.
"Jack, where are we?" Ennis's eyes were scared and confused, his voice rough from disuse.
Jack put his hand on Ennis's cheek and said, "In the hospital. You fell off the barn. Do you remember?"
"I hurt all over, Jack."
"I know, darlin'." He looked at Ennis, almost unable to believe his own eyes, his own ears. Finally, he kissed Ennis gently and got off the bed. "I'm gonna get the nurse." He opened the door and looked out, saw Hilary a few doors down and motioned to her. "He's awake."
Her eyes lit up with a smile. "Really? Oh, Jack!" She followed him into the room.
Ennis's eyes were closed, but he opened them again when Jack called his name softly.
"Hello, Ennis. I'm Hilary. You've given us all quite a scare. How are you feeling?"
"Tired."
"That's normal. I'm going to call Dr. Nelson and let her know you're awake, okay? I'll be back in a few minutes." She sent Jack a joyful smile and left the room.
"How long've I been asleep, Jack?"
Jack hesitated. "Maybe you should just rest until the doctor gets here."
"Jack . . ."
"Two weeks, near 'bout."
"Two weeks?"
"We been so worried about you." Jack took his hand and held it close to his heart. "I was so afraid, Ennis, so afraid you might not ever wake up."
"Oh, Jack. I'm sorry."
"No, you ain't gotta be sorry. Wasn't yer fault. Was an accident."
Ennis closed his eyes and after a few minutes, Jack realized he'd fallen asleep again, so he sat down to wait for Nancy.
She came in a little while later, followed by Hilary. "I hear we have some good news."
"He went to sleep again. I hope that's all right," Jack said.
"It's fine, Jack. In fact, he'll probably be more asleep than awake for the next few days. That's perfectly normal."
"Does this mean he's going to be okay? Really okay?" Jack asked.
"Yes, Jack. Now, I really think you ought to get some sleep or I'll be treating you next."
"I'm not leaving here. Not yet."
Nancy just smiled at him, then turned to Ennis, who had started to stir. He opened his eyes and looked up at her. "Ennis, it's nice to see those big, brown eyes of yours again. How're you feeling?"
"Already told Jack. I'm tired an' I hurt all over."
"Hurt real bad? Any sharp pains, or just achy feeling?"
"Just achy feeling. My head hurts bad, though."
"You got stitches in it. You hit it pretty hard. Do you know your name?"
"Ennis. Del Mar."
"When's your birthday, Ennis?"
"October sixth."
"What year?"
"Forty-four."
Nancy looked at Jack for confirmation and he nodded. "What year is it now?"
"Seventy-six."
"Good, good. You know this guy?" She pointed at Jack.
"Yeah, that's Jack. Jack Twist."
"Do you know his birthday?"
"November seventh. Same year as mine." Jack nodded in agreement.
"How many daughters do you have?"
"Two."
"What are their names?"
"Junior and Franny."
"Are you getting tired, Ennis?" He just nodded. "All right, I'll leave you alone for now. I'll be back in the morning to check in on you." She leaned down and kissed his cheek and said softly, "I'm so glad you're back with us." She stood up. "You don't have to leave, but you have to get some sleep, Jack. That's an order."
"Yes, ma'am."
She turned and went out the door. Hilary followed, but stopped at the door and turned back, "Maybe you better lie down again, Jack. Seems to be good for Ennis." She winked at him and left.
Ennis opened his eyes. "What'd she mean?"
"I been sleepin' in this chair every night an' tonight Hilary told me I oughta jus' lie down next t'you, so I did. That's when you woke up."
A hint of panic came into Ennis's eyes. "She know 'bout us?"
"Ennis, by this time, I'm sure the whole damn hospital knows 'bout us. I been here, by yer side, barely leavin', fer two weeks. Wasn't no help fer it. Wasn't no way I was leavin' you here alone." Jack could see that Ennis wanted to be mad, but he was just too tired. "Is it okay with you if I lie down next t'you?"
"Christ, Jack. 'Course it is." He moved over slightly, to make more room.
Jack laid down and took Ennis in his arms, his heart full to bursting with thankfulness. Ennis was asleep in moments, but Jack was awake for a long time, afraid that this had been a dream, that he'd wake up and find Ennis still in a coma. Towards dawn, Ennis stirred, put his arm around him, and snuggled closer, and Jack believed. His eyes closed and he fell into a deep, restful sleep.
"Hello, Alma?"
"Yes."
"It's Jack Twist, ma'am."
"You have news, Jack?" He could hear the fear in her voice.
"Ennis woke up last night. He's going to be okay."
"Oh, thank the lord," she breathed. "The girls'll be so relieved. We've all been so worried."
"I know. He wanted me to ask you to tell them he loves them and he'll call soon as he can."
"I'll tell them."
"The doctor said he'll be in the hospital fer a while, just to make sure, so it might be a few days or so. I brought him the cards they sent. Meant a lot to 'im."
"They love him a lot."
"I know. They're real special girls, ma'am."
"Jack?"
"Yeah?"
"Stop calling me 'ma'am'. Makes me feel old."
He chuckled low, "Okay, Alma."
"Thanks for calling."
"Yer welcome. I better go now. Ennis'll call as soon as he can."
"All right. Bye."
"Bye."
