Chapter Thirty-Four

September 17, 1976

Beau heard the alarm clock wake him with its horrible, loud clanging ring. He reached over instinctively to turn it off, but didn't quite make it. His arm was trapped. He opened his eyes, the memory of last night bringing a smile to his face.

"You gonna turn that off?" Tyler asked, peering out at him from the hair that fell across face. He was on his side, his head pillowed by Beau's arm.

"I would if I could reach it."

Tyler grinned, reached over himself, and turned it off.

Beau ran his hand down Tyler's arm and scooted closer. "Where are you working this morning?"

"The farm. I work at the store at noon.

"Should we just ride together? I could give you a ride into town at noon."

"Sure."

"You want to take a shower this morning?"

"Yeah." They were quiet then, each intensely aware of the other. Beau took Tyler's hand in his and brought it to his chest, then leaned in to touch his lips with his own. They didn't make it to the shower for a while and, as it ended up, they got to the farm a little later than usual.

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Jack pulled into the driveway and parked in front of the garage, then glanced over at Ennis, who was looking around, as if seeing everything for the first time. "You okay?" Jack asked.

Ennis looked at him and smiled. "I'm just glad t'be home."

Jack smiled back. "Me too, cowboy."

They went into the house, which was quiet and seemed empty. "Where's Kelly?" Ennis asked.

"She's at school. She's got a class every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from noon 'til two. Bobby's at school, o' course, and Beau is out running some errands."

"You mean we got the place t'ourselves?"

"Yep."

Ennis narrowed his eyes at Jack. "You plan this out?"

Jack's eyes positively gleamed, even as he tried to look innocent. "'Course I didn't."

"Liar."

"Yep." Jack took his boots off.

"What're ya doin'? I thought I should go out and take a look around, make sure ya took proper care o' ever'thing while I was gone."

Jack stood up and put his hands on his hips, a retort ready on his lips, until he caught the smirk in the brown eyes. Jack reached out and grabbed Ennis by the waistband of his jeans. "Come 'ere, you."

"What're you gonna do?" Jack pulled him forward. "Hey, be gentle with me!"

"Don't worry, what I have planned for you is not gonna hurt. Although, it will have ya beggin' fer mercy and prayin' t'god."

"That a promise?"

"Mm hm, it sure is. Come on." He grabbed Ennis's hand and started to pull him towards the stairs.

"Hold on, Jack. I ain't even got my boots off yet."

"Well, hurry up."

Ennis just grinned at him and took one boot off slowly and dropped it on the floor, then took his time taking the other one off.

Jack rolled his eyes and turned around, unbuttoning his shirt on his way to the stairs. "That's it, I'm startin' without you."

Ennis started laughing–a real out loud laugh. Jack turned back, surprise naked on his face, and stood frozen in place. Ennis started toward him, his laughter turning to small chuckles that he couldn't keep inside. "Thought you were startin' without me, darlin'."

"I was. It's just . . . it's been a long time since I heard that sweet sound."

"What sweet sound?" Ennis put his arms around Jack's waist and pulled him close, brought his forehead to Jack's, their eyelashes nearly touching.

"You. Laughing. For real. I missed it, Ennis. I missed you."

"I missed you too, Jack." Ennis closed his eyes and kissed Jack.

After a moment, Jack broke away. "Come on, let's go upstairs." He took Ennis by the hand and lead him up the stairs. Once inside their bedroom, Ennis closed the door behind him and started unbuttoning his shirt, watching Jack do the same thing. They took off their t-shirts next, mirror images of each other, almost-shy smiles reflections of the other. Jeans, boxers, and socks followed, coming off even more slowly, savoring each look, each gesture, each moment. When they were both naked, Jack reached for Ennis's hand again and pulled him close. Ennis put his arms around Jack's neck and leaned close to kiss him. Their lips met and it was as if a key turned in a lock and all the shyness was gone and they couldn't get close enough to each other.

Jack broke away and turned to pull back the covers of their bed. He lay down and Ennis followed. Ennis turned his head into the pillow and took a deep breath. "What're you doin'?" Jack asked, smiling.

"Smells like home."

Jack's features softened and he put a gentle kiss on Ennis's lips. "Welcome home, baby."

"God, Jack, I'm so glad t'be here. With you." He reached up and ran his fingers down Jack's cheek. Jack turned and put a kiss in his palm, his blue eyes never leaving the brown. And then they were kissing, lips and tongues eager with want, thirsty from famine.

They pulled back for a moment, each taking ragged, uneven breaths. Jack put his hand over Ennis's where it rested on his hip. "I want you inside me," he whispered. He rolled to his back and Ennis turned with him so he was poised above him, Jack's long legs wrapped around his waist. He went in slow, watching Jack's face as he did. All their worries fell away and it was just the two of them, here, with each other. Jack's beautiful face was naked with desire and pleasure and Ennis was quietly elated to be the one to be giving him such a gift.

And then he was all the way inside Jack and they were completely connected. They started moving together, finding their rhythm, perfectly in sync with each other. The pleasure within each of them built into a crescendo, until it filled them with a roaring, like a waterfall. When they crashed over the edge, they went together. The sound of their breathing filled the room and it felt like a sin to break the silence with words, so Ennis slipped to Jack's side and took him in his arms, the silence unbroken as they drifted into sleep together.

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Jack knew he hadn't been asleep long when he woke up. He and Ennis were under the sheets, though he didn't remember pulling it over them. Their legs were twined together and he was still wrapped in Ennis's arms and he felt safe and happy.

Ennis stirred and opened his eyes, looked into Jack's for a long moment. "I love you, Jack."

Jack blinked, as if he hadn't heard right.

"I do. I love you. Wanted to make sure ya know."

"I love you, too, Ennis," Jack said slowly, his throat caught tight. He burrowed closer into Ennis's arms, his cheek against the strong chest.

After a while, they heard the door open downstairs and Ennis looked at the clock. "Damn, we better get up. Bobby'll be home soon and he wanted me t'be here when he gets off the bus." He looked at Jack, a smile in his eyes. "I oughta be up and dressed when he does."

Jack sighed. "I could stay here with you all day, bud."

Ennis kissed him. "Ain't much longer 'til bedtime, darlin'. We'll be back here soon enough. 'Sides, I still wanna take a look around–see the horses, make sure them boys were doing their job while I was gone."

"Well, come on then. Let's go." They dressed and went downstairs. Kelly was in the kitchen, her book bag on the table, her preparations for supper already started. She saw them and went right to Ennis and gave him a hug.

"It's so nice to have you home, Ennis," she said warmly.

"It's nice t'be home, sweetheart. How's school goin'?"

"Good, real good. I like it."

"I'm glad. Well, I'm gonna go out and see t'things."

"I'll come with," Jack said.

"You don't need to," Ennis told him.

"I know that. I want to."

Ennis looked like he might say something about being babied, but he didn't, just turned and pulled his boots on and Jack did the same. He opened the door and started towards the outbuildings, but stopped suddenly and looked up at the barn. The roof was fixed, the ladder put away, the rock in the ground covered with a bale of hay. His face went a little pale and Jack took his hand. "Beau and Tyler finished it."

"Hmph," Ennis replied and looked away. He started for the stables again, where he spent the next hour looking over each and every horse, until they heard the rumble of the school bus. Bobby was halfway down the driveway before they reached the garage.

He spotted them and ran the rest of the way and launched himself into Ennis's arms. "You're home!"

"I told ya I would be."

"I know, but I thought somethin' mighta happened."

"Nope, nothin' happened and here I am."

Jack cleared his throat and Bobby looked at him. "Hi, daddy. Ain't ya glad Ennis is home?"

"It's so nice t'be appreciated," Jack said, laughing and rolling his eyes. "Yeah, I'm glad he's home, Bobby. Come on, let's go inside." He didn't say anything, but Ennis looked a little pale, like maybe he needed to sit down or lay down, and he knew Ennis wouldn't say so.

"Can I go to Danny's house for a while before supper?" Bobby asked.

"You ain't been here five minutes and now you wanna leave again? I thought you couldn't wait fer Ennis t'get home?" Jack asked.

"Well, I couldn't, but he's home now and he ain't leavin', are ya?" Bobby looked at Ennis, who just shook his head. "Danny got a new puppy a few days ago and I ain't seen it yet."

"All right, ya can go fer an hour, but don't be late. It's startin' t'get dark earlier and earlier."

"Thanks, daddy. I won't be late." He started to turn away, but turned back and held out his backpack. "Would you take this in fer me?" He handed it to Jack, then stopped, a thoughtful look on his face. "I was thinkin'. Since I call you 'daddy', maybe I could call Ennis 'dad', so I don't get you confused?" He looked down at the ground, scuffed it with his toe, "If you don't mind, that is," he looked up and met Ennis's eyes.

Ennis sniffed and his eyes were suspiciously bright. "Sounds fine t'me, son, if you want to. Don't want ya t'feel like ya halfta call me anything that don't feel right t'you."

"It feels right fine t'me," Bobby said.

"Then it feels right t'me too."

Bobby started walking backwards. "Bye, daddy. Bye, dad," he said, his face alight, then turned and ran down the driveway, heading for Danny's house.

"If we lose him, it's gonna break my heart," Jack said.

"Mine too," Ennis added and squeezed Jack's hand.

"I hope the girls are okay with him callin' you 'dad'."

"We'll make sure they're okay."

"I hope it don't make them feel like they need t'do the same thing. Ya know, call me 'dad'."

"We'll leave it up t'them and make sure they know it's their choice. They don't live here, though, Jack. It's different with Bobby. He's here all the time."

"I wish the girls could be here all the time," Jack said.

"Me too," Ennis agreed, his voice soft.

"Come on, let's go in. You look like ya could rest fer a bit."

"I ain't no invalid, Jack."

"I know that, but Nancy said ya need t'take it nice an' slow an' easy an' that's what yer gonna do."

"Yes, nurse Twist."

"Fuck you," Jack said, smiling back at Ennis.

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Saturday morning at the farm was quiet. Jack and Ennis did the chores together, with a little help from Bobby, before he disappeared with Danny McIntyre. They'd had lunch and were now seated at the table, which was spread with piles of papers.

"Is Nancy coming with Anna tomorrow?" Ennis asked.

"Yep."

"She usually work on Sundays?"

"I don't think so, but she suggested it. She knows I been busy lately. 'Sides, I invited them both t'supper, which means we'll have t'cook. Good thing she's coming early, so we can work afore we eat. Might kill her with our cookin'."

"Let's barbeque some steaks. Can't screw them up too much. We'll bake some potatoes and throw a salad together. I think I can manage that."

"What d'you mean, you can manage?"

"I figure you'll be busy. Maybe Nancy'll help me."

They were quiet for a while, the silence broken only by the rustling of paper and one or the other taking a drink of coffee.

"Damn," Jack said softly.

"What?"

"I guess I missed this. Goddamn." He shook his head.

"What, Jack?"

"L.D. has our neighbor, Maria, listed as a witness. She useta watch Bobby after school while we was at work. I thought she was our friend." He put the paper down, scrubbed his hands down his face, pushed his chair back, and went out onto the side deck.

Ennis let him be alone for a few minutes, then followed. He stood next to Jack and put his hand out to rub Jack's arm. Jack's face was still as stone, but when Ennis touched him, his lip quivered the tiniest bit. He clamped his jaw together to stop it, his grief replaced by fury.

"This is a goddamn bitch of a fuckin' situation. Goddamn L.D. I hate that fuckin' man so much it makes me sick inside."

"I know, darlin'.

Jack finally turned his eyes to Ennis, the anger gone. They were filled to the brim with unshed tears. "What am I gonna do if the court gives him my son, Ennis? I'll lose 'im forever. L.D.'ll make sure of that." The pain in his voice cut Ennis to the bone.

"Jack." Ennis felt so helpless, felt like this was all his fault. He didn't know what to say. He ran his hand down Jack's face and said the only thing he could think of. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." His words unleashed what little control Jack had left and the tears fell. Ennis took him in his arms and held on, held on so tight he thought he might never let go. Jack didn't sob, didn't really cry, just let himself be held and hung on tight. When he finally let go, he didn't meet Ennis's eyes, so Ennis took his hand and lead him to the edge of the deck, sat down on the top step, pulled Jack with him, and put his arm around his shoulders. He kissed Jack's temple and ran his fingers through the silky black hair. Jack put his head down on Ennis's shoulder.

"It's gonna be okay, Jack."

"How d'ya know?"

Ennis didn't answer right away, just sighed and looked around, looking for the right words. Finally, he kissed the top of Jack's head and said, "Because. All those years you wanted to make a life together and I wouldn't do it, 'cause I was so scared. But we finally did it and it turned out so much better than I could've ever, ever imagined. I thought we'd get killed, Jack. But I didn't care. I was so miserable that I couldn't go on living like that anymore, so I took a chance, even though I was certain it meant death. But that ain't what happened." There was wonder in his voice. "In fact, we found some good people, real good people, who don't look down on us. Found some people just like us, in fact. I'm still scared sometimes, but I got something in me that I never, ever dared have before. I got hope. Hope. And I got hope for lots of things, including that the judge will make the right decision an' make sure Bobby stays with you."

Jack raised his head and looked into Ennis's eyes, but didn't say anything.

Ennis smiled. "Well, this is a first. Me with a mouthful o' words an' you with not a one."

"I don't know where t'start. Yer an amazin' man, Ennis Del Mar. I can't believe you thought we'd be killed. I mean, I know you said that afore, but I didn't think you were so sure it would happen. An' ya took a chance anyway. An' now yer so sure 'bout Bobby. I gotta tell ya, I was really startin' t'lose hope."

"I know." Ennis leaned in and kissed him, long and sweet and gentle. "Come on, let's go inside. I'm feelin' a might peaked. Feel like I need t'lay down fer a bit." He stood up and pulled Jack with him. "You wanna join me?"

"I don' know. I should keep going through all this stuff."

"Maybe ya need a break. Just fer a few minutes."

"Yeah, maybe yer right." He followed Ennis into the house and up the stairs into their bedroom. They lay on their bed together, still clothed, and Ennis took Jack in his arms. For the moment, Jack felt safe, felt like he was home. In spite of his good intentions to get up when Ennis fell asleep, he went to sleep first. Ennis held him for a long, long time, before he, too, fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.