Note: Christina and I do not own Jensen or Jared (although we both wish we did) or the Charmed ones. Also, no Dwarves, hippos, or witches were harmed in the making of this story.
Author's note: This story is totally fictional. None of this ever happened (although we wish some of it did). These are mostly all actual messages we had posted to each other over the course of a few days. I hope you enjoy. Also, I am sorry if we offend anybody, and we apologize ahead of time. Thank you!
Dwarves, hippos, and witches:
I was talking to Christina one day, when we decided we would kidnap Jensen and Jared.
We made up our ingenious, fool proof plan:
Alex (me): ok, so if we are going to do this, we should do it right.
Christina: I agree. We will need help though.
Alex: No. We should be able to do it on our own. But we may need spies for the first part, to make sure we can get them without being caught.
Christina: Yes, ok. goes off to find spies
Alex: Alright. I will get the supplies. goes into garage to find supplies
A few minutes later…
Christina: Ok. Back. I found some good spies. They will keep track of their every move.
Alex: Good. We will strike when the time is right. I'm off to buy smoke bombs and smoke screens.
Christina: Ok. ttyl then.
A few days later, when everything was set…
Alex: Ok. We strike tonight, while they are asleep. There are body guards and video cameras outside, so we will have to be extra careful not to get caught!
Christina: Yes. We will dress all in black, wearing black masks. I will use the smoke bombs when we are dragging the boys out of their rooms. They should be fine once I drug them. They shouldn't wake up for a few hours after that.
Alex: Ok. Good. I will go get Jared, you get Jensen.
Christina: Ok.
Outside Jensen's house (Christina is stuck in Jensen's window)…
Alex: Come on Christina! Hurry!
Christina: I'm trying, but he won't budge!
Alex: shimmies up to window helps pull Jensen out Come on! We have to get going! drags Jensen down with Christina's help
Christina: throws smoke bomb at oncoming guards Ok. Let's put him in the back of the car with Jared. hops in car
Alex: hops in driver's seat and drives off
Back at Alex's house…
Christina: hops out of car Help me bring them inside.
Alex: Ya. Sure. helps pick up Jensen and Jared and drags them inside
Christina: Thanks. ties up Jensen
Alex: No problem. ties up Jared
A few minutes later…
Alex: (has hidden Jared, untied Jensen, and has run off with him.) You will never catch me!
Christina: You bitch! I will get you!
Alex: Never! maniacal laughter takes off with Jensen behind another house
Christina: pulls out grenade and tosses it my direction
Alex: AAHHH! grenade just barley misses, but I'm knocked off my feet
Christina: HA! Jensen, come back!
Alex: You will never get him!
battle continues like this for several minutes
Alex: NO! How did you do that?
Christina: With my invisibility cloak! That's how! holds out cloak for me to see
Alex: runs up and grabs cloak Ha! grabs Jensen and runs off You will never find me!
Christina: Shit! NO! Jensen! Come back! cries
Alex: Feels sorry for Christina, so I give back Jensen, but I take Jared Here, I don't want him anyway.
Christina: is happy Jensen! I missed you!
A lot of happy x-rated moments later, in Alex's bedroom…
Alex: Has Jared tied up on her bed WOW! That was amazing! giggles, and rubs Jared
Meanwhile…
Christina: puts clothes back on I love you Jensen!
Alex: calling to Christina Come on! Jared is making pancakes!
Christina: Ok. unties Jensen Let's go eat lover boy!
In the kitchen…
Alex: Look, Jared made us pancakes! eats pancake Yum! (referring to Jared)
Christina: Jared tastes like pancakes!
Alex: No! pours syrup on Jared But now he might! giggles
Christina: pours chocolate syrup on Jensen MM-mm good!
Alex: Gets out honey and sugar, and pours it on Jared Sweet!
Christina: turns radio on "the weather today is rainy with a slight chance of Alex and Christina fighting over Jensen and Jared"
Alex: grabs chocolate syrup out of Christina's hands and proceeds to pour it over herself
Christina: tries to get chocolate back from you but slips and falls next to you two
Alex: Laughs at you mockingly AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Loser! licks syrup off Jared
Later that day, after the wonderful breakfast syrup fight…
Christina: plays music dances around
Alex: oh ya!
puts on louder music and takes of Jared's clothes, and own
lol
Christina:proceeds to do the same
runs off with
Jensen out of the house and under a bridge
Alex: jumps into pool
Christina: throws rocks at your pool
Alex: I thought
u were under a bridge?
Oh well, catches rocks, and throws them
back at u
Christina: gets
hit in head
is mad
teleports with Jensen into pool
fakes
a "its ok, forget it" face
Alex: takes
invisibility cloak with Jared under it
runs off to a secluded,
woody area
Christina: uses power to read your mind from far away
Later that day…
Alex: hits u in
the head, making u pass out
drags u and locks u in a closet
handcuffs Jared and Jensen to each hand and runs off
Christina:
wakes up WTF?
looks in pockets
starts banging on the
door
AHHHH Michael Myers!
Michael Myers appears and stabs
me
"damn!"
is kicked out the closet
"hmm
didn't know Michael was..like..that, oh well"
Christina: is
trying to leave house but suddenly remembers she glued them
shut
slaps self while the song "Don't be stupid"
suddenly plays in her head
oh the irony!
Alex:
Christina: starts running around your house looking for stuff that might tell me where you are
The Battle…
Alex: thinksAhahahahaha! I have them both! She will never find me!
5 minutes later…
Christina: Aha! I found you! uses the force to take Jensen off the handcuffs
Alex: NO! You cannot use the force! throws dwarves Go get her! they beat you with sticks
Christina: falls on butt Hey! picks up rocks and throws them at dwarves
Meanwhile, Jensen and Jared are watching, no longer handcuffed to me, but they are watching in awe.
Alex: calls in the Charmed ones "She is trying to kill us! Help!" the Charmed ones use their powers to knock you down dwarves continue beating you with sticks
Christina: picks up a dwarf and tosses it your direction Jensen, I will save you! turns into demonic creature
Alex: RUN!
Christina: Jensen, come back! starts crying turns back into human
Alex: feels sorry for you Go Jensen, she needs you!
Christina: is happy, but mad at you starts throwing rocks at you
Alex: tosses hippo towards you, but it lands on Jensen
Christina: JENSEN!
Alex: JENSEN!
Christina: runs to him
Alex: NO! calls charmed ones, who use their powers to try to heal him
Christina: I hope it works!
Alex: me to!
Several long, agonizing moments later…
Christina: Jensen! You're alive!
Alex: Thank god! I am so sorry!
Christina: I can't believe it! Where's that hippo come from?
Alex: I know! Um…I don't know. thinks It fell from the sky…?
Christina: Whatever. At least I have my baby back! lol
Alex: Ya. That's good. Let's go home.
Christina: Ok
Alex: takes Jared, who was hiding in the bushes Come on. It's all over.
That night, after everything was settled…
Christina:
pouts
well the power is out and we can't leave.
tries
to find a flash light
starts laughing randomly
Alex: WTF?
Christina:
ignores and keeps looking
finds a match, but
nothing to light it with
Hmmmm thinks I wonder if Jensen's
hot body could light the match
Alex: Snuggles up to Jared
Christina:
starts rubbing Jensen with match
nope...it
doesn't work
thinks at least the light wasn't on…Alex
didn't see what I was doing!
keeps looking
Alex: tickles Jared's feet Jared giggles
Christina:
is still looking but gets distracted by Jared's
laughter
thinks he has a nice laugh...
gets back to
looking
ah ha! I found a flashlight...but no batteries
--.
crawls around till she finds the kitchen where there should
be batteries
Random Spectator, Leah (who appeared out of nowhere): what did you guys do, drug them?
Christina:
thinks of...course...not
hides drugs down the
sink
yeah...no drugs...
Alex: …what are you talking about? Of course we used drugs on them! pokes first page
Christina:
stops thinking in fear that Leah will know of her
dirty thoughts as well
beware of the Leah!
Alex: beware of
the Leah!
Yes! Beware! Lol hugs Jared
Christina:
finally finds batteries
turns on light
I
think were gonna be here for a long time
looks at glue on
door
Maybe we could burn the glue off...
Jensen and Jared
look at each other
Both: Did somebody say Burn?
Alex: ha! Burn!
picks up candles from counter and proceeds to light them
Christina:
burns house down on accident --
I should of thought about
it!
think but than Leah would of known you wanted to light the
candle
argues back in head
well that's what I wanted to
do!
Jensen gives me that "are you crazy" look
Alex: You Bitch! You burnt my house down!
Christina:
It's still thundering outside...
goes
along to find shelter
Alex: grabs umbrellas and invisibility cloak
takes off with Jared
Christina:
watches Alex's footsteps in the mud
transforms into a wolf
and follows her
Alex: magically grows wings and flies off with Jared, both still under the cloak
Christina: turns
back into a girl
No Jensen, I am not a werewolf!
thinks
that's what I get for dating a supernatural hunter. but oh well.
Alex: Ha! You'll never catch me now!
Christina: Looks
at Alex
is that a...
moves with Jensen before an anvil
drops on top of me
starts running like flash to catch up with
you when you land
Alex: Who says I will land anywhere near you?
flies off to the mountain top with Jared
You'll never find me!
Christina: is
still looking for Alex
pulls out scope
Alex: still hiding from Christina
Hey! It's stopped raining!
holds Jared tightly while landing on the mountain peak
Christina: senses
body heat from Jared
and starts walking toward where you
are...
Alex: WTF? How did you find us?
Christina: Body heat
Alex: Glances at heat vision goggles
I realize that. But how did you get up here so fast?
Christina: my third leg Oo
Alex: um...oohkay? Whatever. Want to join us? We were just about to gaze up at the stars. Then we can sleep out here.
points to the tents that were set up
Christina: I would love to!
Alex: Great! snuggles closer to Jared and gazes up at stars How beautiful!
Yes, I know. Possibly the weirdest thing you have ever read. What is even stranger is that this was an actual conversation between us. Hard to believe, huh? Well, we will continue this, but I will only post more if you want to read more. Please let me know, so I wont disturb anyone else. Thanks!
