Meredith looked at Derek for what seemed like ages before words began forming in her mind. She looked to Finn. "We should probably get going, you know, we really don't want to be late for dinner." She truthfully could give a rat's ass about dinner, she just wanted to get the hell out of that bar because she didn't think that she could handle Derek, and his staring, and his apparent look of hurt and anger that can only come with a certain amount of alcohol.
"Uh, yea, ok, let's go. Hold up, I'm gonna hit the restroom really quick, I'll be back in a minute and then we can go." He was so unaware of the situation that it was painful for Meredith. As he made his way to the bathroom, she slowly got up and went over towards the Sheperd's table.
"Hello Meredith," Addison knew something was going on and it was obvious in her voice that she had a good idea of what it was.
"Hey, Dr. She, I mean Addison, hey Derek. So, what are you two doing here?"
"Well, we wanted to go out and this was just so convient that we thought it would be easier to just come here. We just needed a break is all. What about you?"
"Finn and I, we are kind of, you know, we are actually dating. Well……not dating, this is actually our first date, we're testing the waters…..seeing if it's worth going into further." She looked over and saw Derek looking at her the same way he had been since he saw them there, a look full of contempt, rage, and jealously. She was about to turn and head towards the car when she heard Derek start speaking.
"So, you've upgraded to vets? What, hairy back guy not fulfilling enough for you? I just hope you're using protection, because you know," he laughs dryly, "the STD rate in the country is rising at an alarming speed and God forbid you might catch one, that might hinder your 'hobby' just a bit don't you think. Oh, but really don't worry, they have treatment for EVERYTHING these days." Meredith stood, mouth hanging open, more shocked than angry.
"Derek!" Addison hissed and glared at him. "What the….." She was cut off by Meredith.
"Hell is your problem?" Meredith had gotten over the shock and became angry. She heard what Addison was saying and decided to jump in and take the lead. She glared at him in a way that she had never looked at anyone before. Cristina would honestly be proud. "Finn and I are trying to have a relationship, one based on more than just sex, oh, but you wouldn't know anything about that now would you? You, you don't get to judge me, you don't get to look at me, you don't even get to speak to me. You have NO right, no right, to say what you just said. I'm not the one who had an affair, and lied, and cheated, and pulled all the other crap that you did. I'm not hiding things, I am doing nothing wrong. So don't you dare sit there and call me a whore. You had your chance, you blew it. Get over it, and while your at it, stay the hell away from me. Enjoy the rest of your night." Just then Finn came back.
"You ready?"
"Yea, yea I am most definitely ready." She looked at Derek, and even though she knew it was against her better judgment, she leaned in and kissed Finn, to prove to Derek how incredibly fine she was without him.
Derek watched this, feeling his heart break. What the hell did I just do? They're right, I am really an ass. He was aware that what he did was probably unfixable. There are lines in life that you just don't cross, and he was pretty sure that he had just crossed one of those lines. He watched as Finn and Meredith walked out of the bar holding hands. That is when he realized, he truly made the wrong choice. He also realized he had probably just lost the woman he loves. It all became too much. His hand shot up. "Joe! Another!"
Addison looked on. She was now fully aware of what was going on. She didn't like it.
Meredith and Finn were sitting at dinner. It had been quiet for sometime. Neither had talked much after the kiss in the bar. Finally when the silence became too much to bear, Finn spoke up.
"So, that kiss. That was uh, that, wow. You care to explain what happened because I have been going over this and over this and I can't quite figure out what happened back there. I can tell that there was something between you and Sheperd, but I just can't tell what it is. So could you please explain? I'm not being nosy, I would just like to know the mess I'm getting myself into before I fully get myself into it."
"Finn…..it's so complicated. I….I can't really tell you. You wouldn't understand. There are, or actually were, circumstances that, that probably would be hard to comprehend. I don't want to scare you or anything, it's just that I'm not sure I want to tell you yet, it might be too much."
"Meredith, I've been through a lot, I can handle it, whatever it is. You can tell me."
"I had come to Seattle and was having a hard time adjusting, you know, being back to the place with all the unpleasant memories and everything. There was a mixer for the new interns at Joe's, and I decided that I needed to get out, so I went…..and met Derek. At the time he and his wife were separated because she had cheated on him back in New York with his best friend. He just took up and left and came here. We were supposed to be a one night stand, but then I went into work the next day to find that he was my boss, my boss's boss, and I couldn't really NOT spend time with him. We got close I guess you could say, we started dating, and things got sort of serious. Then his wife showed up and he……he chose her. He chose her. So, now I am here, with you, and I think that I might actually like you, which is a huge step for me. So, let's not talk about that subject anymore. But, now you know."
"Wow, um….alright. So you and he aren't still…"
"NO. He made that quite clear." Meredith was getting upset just thinking about everything that Derek had said to her earlier, getting worked up all over again.
"Ok……so…thank you. For being honest I mean. I appreciate it, and just to let you know, I think that I might actually like you too."
"Well, good, now that we have agreed, let's order shall we?" Meredith smiled, glad to have gotten off the subject. She couldn't handle talking about it anymore. It hurt her too much. The truth was that as much as she told herself that she didn't love or need Derek, she knew that that wasn't true at all. She didn't know what to do. She was confused and upset and she wanted to live up to the rep that she had been given by Alex, she wanted to get drunk, but maybe change the last part, maybe this time sleep with an appropriate man. She ordered her wine and knew what she wanted to do tonight, even if it meant she would be sorry in the morning.
Alright, so that premiere……wow. I can't believe Derek said all that stuff to Meredith, I really liked it. Great episode…it beat out CSI, but there is no surprise there : ) Please review!
