This fic was requested by Angelfeatherwriter…whom I believe is partially responsible for making the world spin properly on its dumb axis…

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Forever and Never

I'll always wonder

Why you chose me-a blunder

Forever and Never

I'm tainted and unclean

Unfit to be heard or seen

Forever and Never

I don't think I'll ever know

Why I deserve you

But lo and behold

Here you are

Forever and Never

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I'm not sure why she smiles at me like she does, I'm not worth it. I don't know why she's so kind towards me, I know I'm not worth it. There's no way in hell someone like me deserves someone like her.

And yet…she's here, smiling and encouraging me. She brings me cookies and other sweets she's baked, is the only one who buys me a birthday present every year…she's the only one who cares.

How the hell did I ever deserve someone as great as her?

Her smile gets me through the day, eve if she doesn't know it. She makes it a little bit easier for me to shove my pain down past my feet, pull on a happy face and (silently) scream for my own death.

Unknowingly, she's my only true comfort now…the only thing that stops me from making myself bleed out all the filth I know must be in me. I mean, why else would people hate me so much, if I wasn't as dirty as I obviously am.

To some people, it's overwhelmingly hard to believe that there is, in fact, a pumping human heart in this chest. It's hard to believe that tears might leak from these eyes, that maybe these lungs would tighten with sorrow. But she seemed to never care, to believe all of that incredibly possible.

So why was I ever afraid? And why...am I still?

Because the voice in my head whispers the cracks in your walls are from your own bleeding fists. Your anger would drown her, rape her, kill her soul…your anger would taint her until there was no more of her left.

I gulp, knowing this to be the truth.

She would become something akin to you…

I scream and cry now, my ragged breathes and choked sobs echoing in the room of my apartment.

I know my screams are becoming louder and more animalistic, the cracks in my wall increasing by the second, blood painting them.

And then, I find that she is here, trying to calm me down. I slash at her, and she takes the hit without a flinch. And I hit her again and again and again until I can hit no more.

I sit there, my sobbing still going strong, he arms wrapped around my shoulders. I take a peeking look at her face and soon wish myself dead.

Bruised and scratched skin, blood running down her cheek, that gentle smile still on her face…it was not a face that she was supposed to ever wear.

My eyes sting as tears starts fresh, my own arms wrapping around her small body, my face burring into the crock of her neck.

And as her soft voice whispers comforting words into my ear, I have to wonder.

What the hell did I do to deserve someone as great as her?