Dragon Ball Z: Dynasty

By Feraligreater328

A/N: This one ran kinda long. But I didn't want to break it into two parts because it didn't make sense narratively. I hope you all enjoy~

Chapter 57: The Simple Life on Earth

Mt. Paozu (12 months until the Android Attack)…

Piccolo hovered in the shade of a massive tree next to the freshly plowed fields of the Son Family Farm. It was a peaceful day for the Namekian to meditate, surrounded by the serenity of the countryside. On the fields, the men of the Son Family were doing the job assigned to them by Chi-Chi. Goku, Bardock, and Gohan were all shirtless under the warmth of the sun, tilling the fields for new crops to be planted after the latest harvest.

As they worked, Launch sat off to the side on the shady porch of her and Raditz's new house. She gently rubbed her hand over her pregnant belly and smiled contently. The door to the house opened and Chi-Chi came out, holding up a tray carrying several glasses and a pitcher of lemonade. She called out to the field. "Break time, boys! Come and get a drink!"

Bardock wiped the sweat off his brow. "Whew..."

The three of them made their way over to the house and took their glasses, sitting for a few minutes of rest after so much hard work. It did not take long for Piccolo to join as well. Chi-Chi handed him a glass of lemonade and then made one for herself. "Hot one out there, huh?"

Goku nodded. "Yeah. But at least farm work makes for good physical training."

Gohan gulped down his drink and then turned to his new aunt. "Hey, Aunt Launch, are you feeling okay? It is really hot out today."

Launch smiled, brushing her blue hair out of her face. "I'm fine. I was warned that this might end up being hard on me, but I seem to be doing okay three months down the line~"

A few moments later, the door to the house opened again and Raditz came out. He shoved his cellphone into his pocket and sat down next to his wife, kissing her on the side of the head. "Good news everyone! I found another town that is willing to buy our vegetables from us. And they want our entire harvest!"

Chi-Chi had stars in her eyes. "The whole thing?!"

Those stars quickly became zeni signs, with an audible cha-ching. "Oh Raditz! You're a godsend!"

Raditz sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "Y-Yeah. I guess I just have a way of talking with people or something. I was always the one who had to talk things out, cuz Vegeta and Nappa were more likely to kill than negotiate..."

Goku cracked his back. "Man, so many people want our vegetables. I guess it's a good thing that the soil on Mt. Paozu grows stuff so quickly..."

Launch smiled. "So, where is this town at anyway?"

Raditz quickly produced a map from his shirt pocket, unfolding it and searching it. "It's...here!"

He pointed to a mid-sized township on the southern edge of Mt. Paozu. He traced from it back to their land. "Looks like it wouldn't take us long to fly there or get there on foot...but there are so many vegetables in this order that we should probably take them by truck. So... looks like a two-day trip to get there and a two-day trip to get back."

Chi-Chi nodded. "Right. Thank you Raditz."

She turned and pointed at her husband. "Goku! Wash up! You're going to drive this order to the customer!"

Goku flinched. Chi-Chi narrowed her eyes. "What?"

Goku was sweating bullets. "Uh..."

Chi-Chi stepped closer, get so close to his face that the tips of their noses touched. "Goku...?"

Goku chuckled. "I... uh...I don't exactly have...my...driver's license..."

Chi-Chi's eyes remained narrowed, her jaw falling slightly agape. After a long silence, she spoke. "Pardon me?"

Goku backed away, holding up his hands in defense. "Now Chi-Chi... I have a decent explanation for why I never went and got it..."

3 months ago...

Goku walked out of his house whistling a merry tune. Chi-Chi called after him. "Goku! Make sure you head down to the DMV and get your license today, okay? We're going to need you driving just in case our farm every gets business from far away!"

Goku called back. "Sure thing, Chi-Chi! I'm on it!"

The Saiyan from Earth walked about 10 steps away from his house when, he came across Piccolo. "Hey Piccolo!"

Piccolo responded. "Wanna go train some more?"

Goku nodded. "Heck yeah!"

Back in the present...

Chi-Chi screamed with utter fury, grabbing Piccolo by the collar of his cape and throwing him at Goku, knocking both mighty warriors off of the porch. "Are you kidding me?! Are you kidding me?! You couldn't take a day to just go and get your driver's license?!"

Gine, having walked over from her and Bardock's house, showed up just in time to watch the action unfold. "Oh my, she's super angry..."

She stepped past Chi-Chi, brandishing a broom against a terrified Piccolo and Goku, and sat next to her pregnant daughter-in-law and disbelief-stricken son. Bardock was sat on the ground next to Gohan, barely stifling his laughter as Chi-Chi practically breathed fire at Goku and Piccolo.

Goku, finally managing to get a full sentence out, pointed towards his family. "W-Well why don't you yell at Raditz or my parents?! They don't have driver's licenses either!"

Gine reached into her dress, pulling out a small pocketbook and producing a driver's license. She had a friendly smile on her face in the picture. "I got mine not long after Garlic Junior showed up."

Raditz reached into his shirt pocket, pulling out a driver's license with a placid expression on the picture. "I got mine on my third date with Launch."

Bardock pulled out his wallet and showed his license, his picture having his normal scowl. "Got mine about a week after we arrived back on Earth. Cuz, you know, what kind of moron chooses to settle down on a planet and not get the proper permits to function on it?"

Goku nervously chuckled, turning back to Chi-Chi. "Th-That's cool...right, Chi... Chi...?"

A crimson red aura flared around Chi-Chi, her eyes glowing bright white from the shadows her bangs casted over her face. "Goku..."

Bardock sighed and finished off the last of his lemonade. "Come on now, don't kill him!"

He stood and stretched his back. "You aren't without options here Chi-Chi. Raditz might not be willing to travel, what with Launch being pregnant and all, but Gine and I can both drive. So, we can just take these vegetables to where they gotta go, okay?"

Chi-Chi let loose a heavy sigh. But she readily nodded. "Fine. Thank you for being so helpful Bardock."

Goku also breathed a sigh of relief. He turned to Piccolo and smirked. But then, Chi-Chi snapped her fingers and the Saiyan and Namekian both flinched. "You two aren't off the hook! While Bardock and Gine take the vegetables to market, you two are going to be coming with me to get your driver's licenses! Understand?!"

Piccolo sneered. "You can't tell me what-"

Chi-Chi snapped. "What was that, Green Freeloader?! I can't hear you over how much rent you owe me for staying in our guest room the past year!"

Piccolo was stunned silent. He growled under his breath and glared off to the side. Chi-Chi smiled. "Okay, so we all have our plans for tomorrow! Good talk everybody!"

Chi-Chi walked away, a sharp smile on her face. Gohan, in the background, consoled Piccolo and Goku with a gentle pat on the back. Launch chuckled. "That's so funny. Chi-Chi sure is spirited~"

Gine nodded. "Yeah she is. So...I guess that means that I'm joining my dear husband on a drive tomorrow."

Bardock smirked. "I mean, if you want to. No pressure."

Gine shrugged, playfully snarking back. "Well, I might have to move some stuff around on my schedule, but I think I can make it. What are you going to wear tomorrow? I wanna match."

Bardock shrugged back. "I dunno. Probably my armor or some-"

Launch suddenly interrupted. "Ooh! Ooh! Let me pick out what you guys wear! I'll make sure you both look like proper truckers!"

Bardock and Gine shared an aside glance, but then Gine nodded. "That sounds lovely! Thank you, Launch."

The next day...

As the sun peaked through the window, Bardock slowly woke up. He rapidly shook his head, shaking off the grogginess he was feeling, and then looked over next to him to find that Gine wasn't there. Bardock cocked his head. "Where did she go?"

He looked on her pillow and found a folded note. Bardock opened the note and read to himself. "Launch wanted me to come over and pick an outfit. She prepared one for you. Make sure you thank her when you see her..."

Bardock looked on the chair across the room and saw a parcel with his name on it. He nodded. "Guess I better get ready..."

The older Saiyan stood and went through his usual routine. He brushed his teeth, he shaved, he shit, he showered. All of the usual. Once that was done, he stepped back into his and Gine's room and opened the parcel, staring at the clothes within.

Bardock got dressed and then stared at himself in the mirror, observing the outfit that his new daughter-in-law had picked: a pair of blue denim jeans, a bright red button-up shirt, a leather belt with a moderately-sized buckle, a pair of brown cowboy boots, and a brown ten-gallon hat atop his head.

Bardock adjusted his bandana and rolled his eyes. "Earth fashion..."

Outside, near the fields...

Bardock walked over to Raditz's house and came upon an expected sight, a defeated Goku and an annoyed Piccolo both loading the last of the vegetables into their newly acquired truck. Goku was dressed in a red dress-shirt and blue pants, Piccolo in a pair of jeans, a yellow shirt and purple undershirt combo, and a backwards baseball cap to cover his antennae.

Standing off to the side, Chi-Chi was graciously thanking a visibly pregnant Bulma for bringing a truck on such short notice. Bulma waved her off. "Don't worry about it. It's fine. You guys are all like family to me. And, once again, you did bring me a pile of alien technology that is probably going to make Capsule Corp trillions of zeni."

Bulma leaned against the vehicle. "This is my personal truck anyway. Me and Launch used to make trips to deliver and pick up stuff in this. So, it only seems right that I give it to her as a retirement gift."

As Bulma spoke, Chi-Chi walked up and placed her hand on her belly. Chi-Chi's face glowed. "Wow...it's been so long since I've been pregnant with Gohan. I forgot just how magical it feels..."

Bardock stepped up and Bulma nodded. "Hey Bardock. Nice hat."

Bardock nodded back. "Nice...stomach..."

He scratched the back of his head. "How's Vegeta?"

Bulma rolled her eyes and held up her hand, showing a ring on her ring finger. "We went to the courthouse and got married, so there's that."

Bardock cocked his head. "Vegeta of all people getting married..."

Bulma nodded. "Yeah. He said that he didn't want 'Vegeta V' to be born a bastard. I'm not naming our child that, but I suppose it's the thought that counts..."

Bardock nodded. And then, he looked around. "So, where's Gine anyway? I figured she'd be ready right now."

Chi-Chi answered. "She was nearly ready last time I saw her. But, as I was leaving the house, I heard Launch sneeze. So, who knows where that went..."

"HEY! YOU TALKIN' SHIT ABOUT ME OUT HERE?!"

Everyone turned towards Raditz's house and their jaws dropped. Standing there was Blonde Launch, still dressed in her nightgown and slippers. And standing next to her was Gine in the outfit that Launch had specifically picked for her: a pair of faded denim jeans, a pair of black cowboy boots, a bright red ribbon pulling her hair into a functional ponytail, and a blue flannel shirt with a white, belly-shirt underneath.

Bardock's face lit up red, Gine was beaming. "So, everyone, how do I look?"

It was compliments all around for Gine, which she fully enjoyed. Bardock was still speechless, but Bulma whispered to him. "You know it's rude to stare, right?'

Bardock stammered. "Sh-Shut the hell up!"

Chi-Chi sighed, speaking to herself. "I hope I still look that good when I'm fifty..."

Bulma smirked. "I already have plans in place to look good when I'm fifty."

It didn't take long after that for the others to depart. Chi-Chi grabbed Goku and Piccolo by the ears and practically dragged them into the air, Gohan following behind with a nervous chuckle. Bulma departed as well, waving by to everyone and flying off in her ship. Finally, Raditz stepped up to his parents. "Okay. I've drawn up some directions for you guys to get there. You're taking the vegetable to a place called South Skull Valley Township."

Gine took the map from her son. Bardock sighed. "Sounds super inviting."

The two of them got into the truck and Bardock turned it on. After a quick rev of the engine, he and Gine were off and down the road. Raditz watched as the truck got smaller and smaller, eventually losing sight of it over the hill. He turned to his wife and smiled. "How about we go in and I rub your feet?"

Blonde Launch smiled. "I'd be up for that."

As the two of them turned to walk back into their home, Blonde Launch cocked her head. "Wait a minute? South Skull Valley? I... think I remember hearing something about that place..."

Southern Mt. Paozu, on the mountain road...

It had been a relatively peaceful two hours of driving. A few bumps in the road, for sure, but that was to be expected for a trip down a mountain. Bardock kept his eyes trained on the road, watching for any faults or sudden detours that he would need to make. Gine, meanwhile, was taking in the sights of Mt. Paozu with a massive grin on her face. "Isn't this just so much fun, Bardock?!"

Bardock shrugged. "I guess. It's a long drive, that's for sure."

Gine gently shoved him, chuckling. "Oh come on! Lighten up! Have some fun, Bardock~"

A small smile spread on Bardock's face. Gine shoved him again and he chuckled. "Hey! Behave yourself!"

He gave her a small shove back and she chuckled, glancing out the window again at the spanning forest valleys and sheer, rocky ledges of Mt. Paozu. Gine giggled. "Isn't it just so picturesque? We have a lovely home~"

Bardock nodded. "Yeah. It's pretty nice."

The drive continued, and, like nothing, another three hours passed. Bardock continued to focus on the road, Gine was humming along with the radio and reading a magazine. Eventually, the Saiyan Mother put down her reading and began to explore once again. Bardock glanced over as she forced the glove compartment open. "What are you doing?"

Gine responded. "Checking things out. Earth vehicles are neat."

Digging deeper into the compartment, Gine eventually produced something she wasn't expected: a loaded revolver. "Hey! Look at this! It's a gun!"

Bardock sighed. "Bulma and Launch did say this was their truck before. Guess it makes sense that there's some sort of firearm in here..."

Bardock glanced over at his wife and saw that she was waving the gun around, mouthing the words "pew pew" to herself. He rolled his eyes. "Hey! Put that thing down before something gets hurt!"

Gine spun the gun on her finger, eventually catching it and pointing it at the windshield. "Reach for the sky~"

Bardock groaned. "Seriously. You're going to end up shooting out a window."

Gine rolled her eyes. "Lighten up! I swear, you're as high-strung as Raditz sometimes."

Bardock snorted. "I'd rather be as high-strung as Raditz than as dumb as Kakarot."

Gine gasped. "That's so rude! How can you call Kakarot dumb?!"

Bardock cocked his head. "Gine."

She flinched, pressing her index fingers together and avoiding eye contact. "Kakarot isn't dumb. He just has...a unique world view."

The two of them were silent for a minute, but then Gine sighed. "Okay. He's a bit thick sometimes. But his heart is in a good place."

Bardock sighed, but he smiled. "Yeah. He's a good guy. I hope Chi-Chi ain't riding his ass too hard over the license thing."

Gine smiled. "Chi-Chi is even more high-strung than Raditz sometimes, but her heart is in a good place. I'm sure she's not being too mean."

Bardock chuckled. "I wouldn't go that far. At least 75 percent of our daughters-in-law could easily be called mean."

Gine sighed. "Yeah. Blonde Launch is a bit extreme. But Blue Launch is always so polite. No matter what though, I'd say our boys ended up pretty lucky with the women they chose to marry."

Bardock nodded. "Definitely."

And so, the drive went on. Bardock and Gine continued to talk to one another as they went down the southern end of Mt. Paozu. Eventually, unbeknownst to either of them, they passed by a sheriff's car hidden behind a shady tree. Neither Saiyan noticed or really cared about the hidden law enforcement and continued to drive on.

However, the two deputies in the car, upon seeing the truck, chuckled to one another and immediately gave chase.

A bit further down the road...

Bardock looked into his rearview mirror and saw flashing red and blue lights. "Aw, son of a bitch. What is this about?"

Gine held up a placating hand. "Easy now. Don't get annoyed over nothing. It's just Earth police Bardock. Let's just see what they want and try to keep things peaceful."

Bardock grunted and pulled the truck over, coming to a full and complete stop. Gine smiled and shot Bardock and thumbs up and Bardock rolled his eyes in response. Two deputies came up to his side and knocked on his window. Bardock rolled it down. "Problem?"

The taller, thinner deputy smiled. "Yes sir. One of your tail lights is out."

Bardock slightly flinched back. "Wait, really?"

The shorter, fatter deputy nodded. "Yes sir. Why don't you come and look, we can show you what the problem is."

Gine chimed in. "This won't be a problem. Will it, officer?"

The taller one shook his head. "No ma'am. Y'all seem like good folks, so we're just gonna show you the issue and let y'all get it fixed when ya get where yer goin'."

The two deputies motioned for Bardock and Gine to follow and they both did, getting out of the trucks and walking towards the back. Gine whispered. "See? Nothing too exciting. A light just went out. No reason to be so tense."

Bardock shrugged, something still feeling off to him.

They both made it to the back of the truck and the shorter deputy pointed towards the tail light. "See?"

Bardock and Gine both leaned over to look, seeing that the light had been completely shattered. Bardock frowned. "What the hell?"

Gine tapped her chin. "Maybe it was a ro-"

*CLICK* *CLICK*

The two Saiyans both turned around to see that they each had a pistol trained in their face. The two deputies both stood there, wide smiles on their faces. The taller one spoke. "Now listen here. We don't take too kindly to trucks coming down our mountain without callin' ahead to ask the Skull Valley Sheriff first. How do y'all expect to drive freight down this mountain without payin' ya taxes first?"

The shorter one chuckled. "Looks like you two are gonna have to be taught a lesson. So, we're gonna be taking your money, your haul, and your clothes. Just listen to us and y'all might get outta this in one piece~"

Bardock sneered, gripping his fists. He had no patience for this shit. "This is 2-on-2. Do you jackasses really think you stand a chance?"

The taller one chuckled. "Well, if you're concerned about numbers..."

He stuck two fingers in his mouth and whistled and, like a pack of wild animals, a couple dozen mountain thieves emerged from the brush. Each of them had the symbol of the Bear Bandits drawn onto their clothes and they were all armed. The tall deputy stepped up to Bardock and smacked the hat off of his head. "You still think numbers are an issue, boy?"

Bardock's pupils shrunk. He started to raise his fist, but Gine quickly grabbed him by the wrist. He was ready to beat the hell out of these idiots, but Gine was a much calmer voice. She stepped forward and spoke. "Let's not get a fight started or anything. We didn't-"

The shorter deputy stepped forward and press his hand on Gine's chest, giving her a sudden and unexpected shove back. "Know your place and keep your mouth shut, woman!"

Gine was taken aback. But she was unconcerned about herself. She turned as quick as she could. "Bardock-"

But it was too late. Bardock jolted forward and punched the shorter deputy in the face hard enough to send him flying back through the windshield of his car. The taller deputy cowered back, motioning to the bandits. "Well, what are y'all waitin' for?! Show this rabble-rouser some hospitality!"

The Bear Bandit's charged, but Bardock wasn't having any of this. He charged a ball of energy into his hand and shoved it into the ground, causing the road underneath the bandit's feet to crack. As they all stumbled, he shot forward and took each of them out in one blow, breaking weapons and bones and teeth with each strike.

With all of his bandits laying on the ground, gurgling in pain, the taller deputy was panicking. He frantically searched the ground, eventually finding his pistol and fired a shot at Bardock. Bardock caught it with no effort. The deputy yelped. "What the hell?!"

Bardock responded by throwing the bullet back at him, piercing directly into his shin. The deputy screamed in pain and Bardock stepped up, grabbing him by his shirt. "I think it's safe to say that me and my wife are tax exempt. Don't ever let me see your face again..."

Bardock dropped the whimpering fool and turned. Gine handed him his hat and Bardock put it back on his head. And then, the two of them got back into their truck and drove off. Once the truck was completely out of sight, the taller deputy stood and limped over to his car. He got onto the radio and shouted. "Dispatch! We got issues coming down the road! Send all the back-up you can!"

In the truck with Bardock and Gine...

Bardock was still visibly fuming at what had just happened. Gine, meanwhile, adjusted her blouse and talked to herself. "Chi-Chi did mention mountain bandits a few times. So, I guess this is what she meant..."

She scratched the back of her head. "But she never said anything about corrupt police before..."

Bardock took a deep breath, trying to calm down. "What difference does it make? Cop, bandit, whatever...I'm not letting anyone push us around. And nobody is getting away with shoving you like that!"

Gine glanced over to her husband and gently smiled. "Thank you for standing up for me."

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "And thank you even more for not killing anybody. It's nice that we're both moving past that part of our lives."

Bardock grumbled under his breath. "They're lucky I didn't kill their asses. They better have taken the hint..."

Almost immediately, signs came that they didn't. As Bardock and Gine continued to drive down the rocky, mountain road, the sound of rumbling engines roared out behind them. Bardock looked into his rearview mirror and saw an entire posse of Bear Bandits pulling up on their trucks and jeeps. "Son of a..."

The Bear Bandits wasted no time. They sped up on either side of the truck and began bashing it with various weapons. Clubs smashed into the sides of the truck, swords slashed it, and various firearms blasted it. Luckily, the thick steel of the Capsule truck held firm and the vegetables were uninjured. Bardock glanced into his sideview mirror and saw a bandit producing a rather hefty-looking torch. "Oh hell no!"

The older Saiyan rolled down his window, charged a small energy blast into his hand, and tossed it underneath the torcher's vehicle. The blast exploded and sent the vehicle flying into the air, eventually crashing back down and bursting into flames. Bardock smirked. "Suck on that!"

To his shock, however, Bardock was suddenly assailed from the opposite side. A harsh slap hit Bardock's bicep and he flinched at an angry-looking Gine. "What?!"

Gine scolded him. "Don't kill people, Bardock! We're so much stronger than the people on this planet! We need to control ourselves. We're past that part of our lives!"

Bardock snarled. "Gine..."

Gine had a serious look on her face. "They're just petty thieves. Not Frieza Force soldiers. They aren't a threat to us, so we should stick to non-lethal force Bardock."

Bardock gripped his fist tight, shaking his head. "Fine..."

In his gripped fist, Bardock charged a small amount of energy. He slammed his hand against the side of the truck and sent out an energy ripple that repelled all of the bandits off of his side. He floored the gas pedal, speeding up, and turned to Gine. "Go and get those assholes off of your side of the truck. Hurry!"

Gine nodded and rolled down her window, leaping out with a smile. Bardock raggedly sighed and charged another energy wave, tossing it out the window and shredding the tires of the vehicles on his side.

Gine weaved through the air with a cheeky smile on her face, flying up to each bandit's and removing them with minor force. She zipped between sword slashes and pistol shots and dealt with each one in a single blow. Carefully, she caught the unconscious bandits and tossed them back into their jeeps. Once they were all cleared, Gine flew a bit up the road and stood in the path of the head jeep in line. The bandit gasped and jammed on breaks. Gine smirked and shot her leg out, smashing in the front of the jeep and forcing it to come to a stop. The entire line of cars smashed into the back of the stalled jeep and created a massive, wrecked pile-up. The bandits were all stunned. Gine flashed them a smile and a peace sign, and then she flew farther down the road and caught up to the truck.

As the truck got smaller in the distance, one of the bandits pulled himself from his wrecked car and produced a walkie-talkie from his jacket. "Those bastards wrecked us! Blow the damned bridge!"

Meanwhile, Gine climbed back into the truck and chuckled. "See? We didn't have to kill anyone to get 'em off our tail!"

Bardock was much less glib about the situation. "I'm getting sick and tired of this crap. I'm gonna lose my temper if more of them show up!"

Gine waved her hand. "Calm down, husband. If there are any more left, then they've probably been spooked. I think the worst is over."

A bit of driving after that brought Bardock and Gine to a wooden bridge stretched over a massive chasm with a stretch of road barely visible at the bottom. Bardock was tense. Gine glanced over at him. "What's wrong?"

Bardock gripped the steering wheel. "Something doesn't feel right..."

They drove a bit farther onto the bridge and Bardock noticed something at the other end. He leaned forward and squinted to try and get a better view. And then he finally saw it. "Oh shit...OH SHIT!"

Gine flinched. "Wha-"

Bardock floored the gas again and the truck jolted forward. As they got closer, Gine noticed it as well: there were two more Sheriff's deputies standing on the other end of the bridge. And they had a dynamite plunger in front of them. Gine's pupils shrunk. "Oh shit."

The deputies both saw the truck rapidly approaching. It was their time to shine. One of them shot Bardock a sly grin and then shoved the plunger down. The dynamite strung up under the bridge blew and suddenly, Bardock and Gine were left falling without a road to drive on.

The truck began to plummet, spiraling through the air. Gine cried out. "The vegetables! The vegetables are going to be ruined!"

Bardock snapped at her. "Hey Gine! You think they're trying to kill us now?!"

Gine frowned. "Priorities Bardock! What do we do?!"

Bardock sighed and then, rearing his fist back, he busted out the window on his side. "We gotta stop free-falling!"

Gine nodded and smashed her fist through her window. "Right!"

The two of them both charged a massive blast, waiting for the right moment, and then fired their blasts. The force of the blasts slowed the truck mid-air and allowed them to somewhat gently crash onto the ground below. Bardock and Gine both took a moment to collect themselves, and then Bardock hit the gas and the sped off into the nearby forest within the chasm.

High above, the two deputies next to the blown-out bridge cursed. "Dammit! Now we gotta call the Sheriff and the Boss and tell 'em that those truckers got away!"

Within the Skull Valley Forest...

The sun was starting to wane on the horizon as Bardock and Gine drove into the forest. As they drove, they both noticed that their ride was significantly bumpier than before. Neither of them said anything at first, but eventually Gine sighed. "I think something is wrong with the truck."

The sudden, screeching sound of metal against metal echoed out. Bardock cringed. "Yep. Definitely something wrong with the truck..."

Bardock scanned around, eventually laying eyes on a cave where they could rest unbothered. After pulling the truck in, the two of them hopped out and inspected the damages. A ton of cosmetic damage had been done, leaving the truck looking haggard and beaten. But that wasn't the issue. Gine stood to the side as Bardock crawled under the truck. "Dammit!"

Gine sighed. "Is it bad?"

Bardock shouted back. "Axel is bent. Also, something under here is cracked and hissing with hot steam."

The older Saiyan pulled himself from under the truck and smacked his head against the truck. "God damn it all!"

Gine sat down next to her husband, gently rubbing him on the shoulder. "We could just pick it up and fly it the rest of the way..."

Bardock sighed. "I mean, yeah. But that'll draw a lot of unwanted attention..."

"Not to be rude...but are y'all truckers too?"

Bardock and Gine both snapped to attention, standing and taking fighting stances towards the source of the voice. Their sudden guest, a rather disheveled-looking trucker, fell back onto his butt and cowered. "Hey now! Come on! Let's not get violent! We don't mean no harm!"

Bardock and Gine both relaxed as, from deeper within the cave, at least a dozen truckers came shuffling out. They all looked tired, dirty, rail-thin, and just genuinely miserable. Gine's sympathetic nature instantly kicked in. "What's going on here? Why do you all look so beaten...?"

Their initial guest, a tall trucker with shaggy beard and baggy clothes that betrayed a once buff physique, sat up. "That would be a long story, ma'am. Do y'all have a bit?"

Gine looked to Bardock and Bardock sighed and shrugged. The two of them sat down as the truckers told their story. The tall trucker, a man calling himself Rooster, spoke candidly. "We've all been here for months, a new person showin' up every so often. We're the ones that got away, the others all got taken in and forced to work under those two devils..."

Bardock had his arms crossed over his chest. Gine's face drooped. "You've been stuck here that long?"

Rooster shuddered. "We ain't got no choice. This is the only place the Sheriff and the Bear Bandits won't come. If we try to leave this place, they'll just catch us and work us like slaves while threatening our families..."

Gine's heartstrings were effectively pulled. She looked over to Bardock, on the verge of tears, and Bardock rolled his eyes with a sigh. He stood, adjusting his hat, and spoke. "Listen. I'm tired and hungry. You all look about the same. So, how about we start there?"

Bardock turned to Gine. "Take some vegetables out of the load and get 'em started cooking. I'm going to go find something to kill and eat."

Gine's face lit up. "Oh Bardock..."

Meanwhile, at South Skull Valley Township...

The townsfolk, terrified by what they saw coming, all quickly retreated back into their shops and homes. The revving of engines and the chattering and howling were both signs of something dreadful: the Bear Bandits were rolling into town once more.

Stepping off of his massive truck, the leader of the Bear Bandits lumbered over to his favorite spot. He loomed over the entrance to the town bar, practically drooling on the bartender: Miss Zest.

He chuckled. "Hey there Miss Zest! You're looking a pretty as ever! How about you make me some on the house grilled turtle meat and we...get to know one another~"

She glared at him. He was a massive, ugly son of a bitch. But she refused to let him walk all over her. "Why don't you take yer big, stinkin' hide over to yer fat little lap-dogs office! If you ain't gonna buy something, we ain't got no need for you at this bar!"

Boss Bear Thief sneered and started to reach for his sword, but then a call from across the street distracted him. "Hey! Boss Bear, come on over here! We got matters to discuss!"

Boss Bear Thief turned and saw the Sheriff, a short, fat, mustachioed man, standing and waiting for him. Boss Bear snarled and snapped his fingers, stomping off as his men rushed the bar. Miss Zest called out. "Hey! Hey! What're you doin' to me?!"

Boss Bear leaned against the Sheriff's Office. "Now, what the hell is going on?! What's with this new trucker making a mess of our operation?!"

The Sheriff wringed his hands. "I'm sorry Boss Bear. No one we had stationed on the mountain roads was expecting a trucker to come through and give them that much trouble! Couple pieces of work if you ask me!"

Boss Bear snarled. "Pieces of work or not, we can't let them get away with this! If word spreads that they embarrassed us like this, then our operation will fall apart! Did your men manage to get a picture of 'em?!"

The Sheriff, ever the sycophant, nodded. "Yessir! Right here! We snapped photos of both of 'em!"

Boss Bear took the pictures and looked closely. First, he saw Gine, her gentle face caught in profile. And then, he saw something that made his blood boil. He couldn't see the face of the man in the picture, but Boss Bear recognized that hairdo anywhere. "Oh...I'm gonna kill these punks! I'll skin them alive and turn them into rugs!"

Boss Bear stomped off, waving to his men who were setting Miss Zest's bar ablaze. "Come on, you fools! We have plans to make!"

The two men holding Miss Zest still threw her to the ground and chased after their Boss. As the Bear Bandits drove off, she stood up and ran to a nearby hose. There wasn't much pressure, but she desperately started to put out the flames. As she did, the Sheriff came up and mocked her from behind. "So, Miss Zest, does that mean you're gonna have a fire sale on liquor?"

Back in the forest...

Bardock and Gine sat around the campfire with the rest of the stranded truckers. It was a dour meal of bear meat and stewed potatoes. As they ate, the stranded truckers all lamented on their situation. The seeming leader of the group, Rooster, sighed. Tears built in his eyes. "I miss my kids, man..."

Another trucker off to the side shook his head. "I don't have any kids, but I miss my bed...it's been too long in this forest..."

A female trucker, requiring assistance to be fed due to a broken arm, frowned. "I miss my wife...and our dogs..."

As the bitter lamenting continued, Bardock and Gine both lost their appetites. Gine set her plate, a piece of sheet metal, down. "This is awful..."

Bardock threw his out of the cave. "Yeah. I agree."

He stood and walked back over to their truck, continuing to work on trying to get it in working order. As he did that, Gine spoke to the truckers. "So, why don't you all just try to leave...?"

Rooster sighed. "Like we said, ma'am, we'd love to. But the damned Sheriff of these parts would just catch us and force us to work anyway. Or his Bear Bandit buddies would kill us. We're just stuck here in this awful forest and-"

A loud metal snap caused everyone in the cave to jolt. They all turned towards Bardock and his truck and saw, to most of their shock, that the older Saiyan had straightened out his bent axel with his bare hands. Bardock stood up and stretched his back. And then he turned to the truckers. "Well, I guess this would be your chance."

Rooster cocked his head. "Wha...?"

Bardock stepped forward, wiping his hands on his pants. "You're worried about being caught by the bandits and the cops, eh? Well, luckily, me and my wife have pissed both parties off pretty well. So, why not take advantage of that? You all can sneak away while we're being chased."

The truckers were all stunned silent by such a gracious offer. Gine stood, nodding to her husband. Finally, one of the truckers spoke up. "That's a mighty kind offer...but what are you two gonna do? A couple of nice folks like you-"

Bardock shook his head. "Eh! We can handle ourselves. You don't have to worry about us."

Gine smiled. "You all should just get back to families~"

Once again, the truckers were speechless. Barely stifled sobs echoed out through the cave and not a single eye remained dry. Rooster rubbed his sleeve over his eyes and smiled. "Well...you at least gotta let us fix up your rig. Can't have you guys fleeing from the law with a cracked radiator. We all got the wrecks of our rigs stored in this cave."

Bardock nodded. "Fine. You help me with that."

He turned to Gine. "While we're doing that, you and the others try to salvage a truck for these guys to escape in."

Gine nodded and she and the other truckers walked further into the cave. Bardock and Rooster walked over to his truck and a night of mechanic work began.

The next morning...

Two trucks pulled out from within the forest and back onto the main road. Bardock and Gine were sat in their truck. They turned and nodded to their new friends. All of the stranded truckers were piled into the other truck. The two groups nodded to each other one last time, and then Bardock floored the gas and sped off.

Bardock smirked. "You ready, Gine?"

Gine nodded. "Heck yes I am."

Bardock grabbed the cord to sound the truck's horn and pulled it down as hard as he could, sending a blasting sound echoing through the valley. He pulled the cord again and again, making sure that every person on the mountain new that he was coming. It didn't take long for flashing lights and sirens to start screaming behind the two of them. Bardock chuckled. "You think they have enough people?"

The dozens of police cars were quickly joined by dozen of Bear Bandit cars. Gine chuckled. "No. Not even close~"

Bardock pushed the truck to its limit, accelerating even faster. The two Saiyans had a full-on road war on their hands.

Back with the stranded truckers...

Rooster watched on as Bardock and Gine sped farther and farther away, hundreds of sheriff's and bandits kicking up dust behind them. "Those are two of the bravest people I've ever seen..."

The female trucker, Road Mama, frowned. "We can't just...we can't just abandon them like this..."

Rooster looked to the rest of his fellow truckers, seeing determined looks in all of their eyes. He tipped his hat and sighed. "Yeah, I agree...we gotta do something..."

Back with Bardock and Gine...

With so many people on their tails, it wouldn't be wrong to think that any person would be nervous. But, as they drove, all Bardock and Gine could do was laugh. Bardock snorted and shook his head. "And here I was starting to think that retiring on Earth was just going to be boring..."

Gine sighed. "Nah. This planet has all sorts of bizarre surprises the longer you stay on it. It's like a trouble magnet..."

Bardock smirked. "Well, at least it's fun."

Gine nodded. "Yup."

The shrieking sirens of the sheriff's cars filled the cab. Bardock grimaced. "We got anything to drown that out?"

Gine glanced ahead, seeing a sharp turn coming up. She nodded. "I think this truck has a radio..."

She flipped the radio on and a folksy banjo song began blasting from the speakers. Bardock smiled wide. "That'll do."

He lowered his hat, and then jerked the wheel and drifted the truck around the curve. Bardock laughed as several of their pursuers crashed into the mountainside. "Let's get these damned vegetables delivered!"

The truck picked up speed as it went down the sloped road, but the sheriff's and the Bear Bandit's weren't going to be shaken that easily. They pulled up to the sides and the back of the truck and boxed it in from three sides. A sheriff jumped onto Bardock's side, brandishing a pistol. He waved it in Bardock's face, but Bardock elbowed him in the throat and sent him flying.

On Gine's side, things were just as hectic. She ducked the swing of a baseball bat from a bandit and slapped him across the face, sending him flying back into his vehicle.

Pandemonium overtook the truck as if zoomed down the mountain road.

As they went farther down, two loud pops caught Bardock's attention. He looked into his sideview mirror and sneered. "Dammit!"

Two of the truck tires had been pierced and shredded by a bandit with a tow hook. He went for a third, but Bardock sent him flying out of his vehicle with a kiai. "We need to do a better job about protecting the truck. We won't make it to town if they keep doing damage like this!"

The attacks continued, with Bardock and Gine trying their best to fend them off. But the attackers were soon joined by two much more threatening adversaries. From a cave on Bardock's side, a massive military jeep emerged with the Bear Bandit's mark on it. And from a small road on Gine's wide, a Sheriff's car with a mounted turret pulled in to join the mob.

The Bear Bandit jeep sped as fast as it could towards Bardock and Gine's truck, smashing into the back of it and making the two Saiyans jolt. The jeep slowed, but then it sped and rammed into them again. Meanwhile, the Sheriff's car stayed a bit farther behind. The Sheriff himself climbed into the seat of the turret and aimed down the sight at Bardock and Gine's truck. And then he started firing.

The sound of bullets crashing into the back of the truck rang out like hail on a tin roof. Gine gasped. "The vegetables! I don't know how long this thing can take getting shot at, but if it gets pierced then the vegetables are ruined!"

Bardock snarled, tiring of this crap. "Eat this!"

He charged a medium-sized blast in his hand and fired it directly at the hoard of vehicles following them. The blast crashed into the center of the road and exploded, sending many of their pursuers flipping and crashing in the confusion. Gine called over to her husband. "Hey! Be careful! You might have killed someone doing that!"

Bardock shouted back. "They're firing a machine turret at us!"

Gine snapped. "Well, they're also powerless humans. We have to show restraint Bardock, or we're no better than Frieza!"

Another hail of turret-fire crashed into the back of the truck and Gine growled to herself. "But...you're not wrong. We have to think of something do about that quickly..."

The Bear Bandit jeep smashed into their rear bumper again and Bardock sneered. "We gotta put a stop to that too."

Gine thought hard for a moment, trying to think of how to disable the Sheriff's car without accidentally killing anybody. And then a lightbulb went off over her head. Gine popped open the glove compartment and started to dig. Bardock cocked his head. "What are you doing?"

Gine produced the pistol out and smirked, winking at her husband. Bardock was unimpressed. "Your best plan is a smaller gun? What the hell is that supposed to do?"

The Saiyan Mother smirked. "I saw this in a movie I watched with Launch. Watch this!"

Gine waited for the turret to stop firing. She poked her head out the window and saw the Sheriff frantically trying to reload. She smirked and squeezed one eye shut, aiming down the sight at the front tire of the Sheriff's car. She pulled the trigger and a single bullet went flying, piercing the Sheriff's front tire. Gine pumped her fist. "Yes!"

But then, in confusion and panic, the Sheriff's driver began to swerve all across the road. Accidentally throwing the Sheriff out of his turret seat and out of the car, the driver swerved into several of his allies and crashed into them. The resulting explosion sent at least thirty cars flying off the side of the road and tumbling down the mountain. Gine was dumbfounded. "Uh..."

She pulled her head back in and glanced over to Bardock, who was staring in disbelief. Gine blushed. "Wh-What?!"

Bardock shouted. "What happened to not killing people?!"

Gine quickly defended herself. "I didn't kill anyone!"

An explosion rang out from the bottom of the mountain, sending flaming chunks of cars flying high into the air. Gine stammered. "I... s-seriously injured them!"

Bardock rolled his eyes. "OH, GOD DAMN IT!"

Bardock charged a massive blast into his hand, tossing it as hard as he could behind him and blowing the rest of the bandit vehicles, including the massive jeep, sky high. Gine gasped in terror. "Bardock! We're not supposed to be killing people!"

He put on his best Gine voice. "I didn't kill anyone! I SERIOUSLY INJURED THEM!"

Gine bowed up to him. "Don't you mock me! I wasn't trying to-"

The argument was cut off by Boss Bear Thief's smoking carcass splatting onto Bardock and Gine's hood. He shakily pushed himself up and glared through the windshield at them, his hateful gaze training on Bardock. Without hesitation, he drew his sword and smashed the blade through the windshield. Bardock grunted and jerked his head out of the way, grabbing the blade with his bare hand and holding it still.

He and Boss Bear Thief glared at one another. The lumbering grizzly snarled. "This is it, boy! It's time for revenge! Revenge for all those years ago when you embarrassed me and stopped me from eating that turtle!"

Bardock and Gine both glanced at one another, genuinely confused.

Boss Bear sneered. "Yes! I've been watching you for years! Winning tournaments and defeating the Demon King! But I'm prepared this time! And now you pay! You're gonna regret not changing that stupid hairstyle of yours!"

It took a minute, but Bardock and Gine both came to the same conclusion. "Oh! He's talking about Kakarot!"

Bardock turned to Gine. "This guy seems to wanna chat with me. Take the wheel while I'm gone?"

Gine nodded. "Sure."

Bardock tossed his hat onto the seat and shoved Boss Bear back as he leapt through the busted windshield. He squared up to Boss Bear with a smirk. Boss Bear swung his sword once more, but Bardock caught the blade again, this time snapping it in half.

As Bardock and Boss Bear began to fistfight on the hood, Gine held the truck steady. In focusing on the road, however, she didn't notice that a fourth visitor was squirming his way to the cab of the truck. After being thrown off of his car, the Sheriff had managed to save himself by clinging onto Bardock and Gine's rear bumper.

He made his way down the passenger side of the truck and eventually came to the window. Being so focused on the road, Gine didn't noticed him crawling his way in. He reached onto his belt and called out. "Excuse me, Miss!"

Gine turned and was immediately met by a spray of mace crashing into her eyes. "Agh! Agh! It burns! What the hell?!"

The Sheriff wickedly grinned and reached to his belt, pulling out a taser and sticking it into the blinded Gine's neck.

On the hood of the truck, Bardock took a hard-right fist across the face. He stumbled back a couple of steps and wiped a trickle of blood from his busted lip. "What the hell...?!"

He threw a punch of his own, but Boss Bear blocked it with his forearm and shoved Bardock back even more. The bear charged at Bardock, but Bardock punched him hard enough in the gut to knock the wind out of him. The older Saiyan sneered. "How in the hell are you so durable?! Your power level is lower than my patience for this shit, it doesn't make sense!"

Boss Bear chuckled. "Yeah! You are pretty strong, boy!"

He grabbed Bardock by the collar of the shirt and heaved him over his head, slamming the Saiyan down onto the other side of the hood. Boss Bear chortled. "But I don't have to train to gain strength!"

Bardock threw a weak energy blast at Boss Bear. Once the smoke from that cleared, Bardock finally saw what the issue was. Boss Bear was dressed in a suit of power armor with a giant Capsule Corp logo in the center. He chuckled. "Haven't had a chance to customize it yet, but what do you think?! Those Capsule Corp people have been putting out brand-spanking new tech like this for a while now! This one is meant for construction, but it can be used for other things! People are calling this technology a miracle! I wonder where that Brief lady got it from...?"

Bardock groaned. "Well isn't that just friggin' appropria-"

Boss Bear lunged at Bardock and wrapped his armored hand around the Saiyans throat. He sneered and pressed a button on his arm, causing a metallic face mask to wrap itself around his head. "Now I'm gonna kill you for what you did to me, boy!"

Bardock choked. "For the last time...I'm not that boy you're thinking of...you stupid bear!"

The choke became even harsher and Bardock snarled. "Dammit Bulma...why are you making construction armor with the ability to choke people...?"

As Boss Bear tried to push Bardock's head into a spinning tire, the situation in the cab wasn't going much better. Between tazing her and shooting more mace into her eyes, the Sheriff had managed to slip a pair of cuffs onto Gine's wrists. "You have the right to remain silent!"

He tazed her again and chuckled. "And you can maintain that right even after I make you my woman!"

Gine growled and pulled her hands apart, snapping the cuffs. "Enough of this!"

She roared in frustration and, flashing with golden light, Gine turned into a Super Saiyan. The force of her power sent the Sheriff tumbling back. "Wh-What?!"

Gine shot her foot forward, planting a kick squarely into the Sheriff's face, and sent the tubby bastard crashing through the door. The door came off of the hinges and it and the Sheriff both went crashing down the side of the mountain.

On the hood, Bardock was just as frustrated. He went Super Saiyan as well, his power flaring and pushing Boss Bear off of him. Boss Bear snarled and ran forward. He tried to punch Bardock again, but Bardock caught his fist, giving a sharp twist and breaking Boss Bear's wrist. Boss Bear roared in pain, but this roar was quickly cut off by Bardock grabbing him by the throat and smashing his head into the rock wall. As the truck sped down the mountain, Boss Bear's head was dragged with it. At the speed the truck was going, the metal mask was shredded from Boss Bear's head after only a few seconds.

Thoroughly annoyed, Bardock snatched Boss Bear's bleeding head away from the rocky wall and hissed at him. "We done here?"

Boss Bear gurgled and nodded. Bardock nodded back. "Good."

And then, without a second thought, Bardock threw Boss Bear over the side of the road, allowing him to fall and join the rest of his defeated men.

Bardock sighed and leapt back into the truck, gently helping Gine move out of the driver's seat. "You okay?"

The two of them depowered and Gine moaned. "My eyes are on fire..."

Bardock gave her a gentle pat on the head. "Just take a nap, dear. We'll be in town soon. I think it's all over..."

South Skull Valley Township...

Dusk was falling as Bardock and Gine came riding back into town The two of them stepped out of their truck and went to go and find some water for Gine's eyes when, suddenly, they were swarmed by a crowd of celebrating townsfolk. Bardock was unnerved. "What the hell?!"

Gine was still blind and confused. "What's going on?"

"Hey y'all!"

Bardock and Gine turned in the direction of the voice and Rooster and Road Mama came walking up to them. Road Mama, not even caring about her broken arm, pulled Bardock and Gine close for a hug. "You actually did it!"

Bardock looked past her and saw a giant cage sitting in front of the Sheriff's Office, within it were several deputies and bandits, as well as the Sheriff and Boss Bear tied up within. Rooster was smiling from ear-to-ear. "After y'all went on that chase, we cut through the valley and made it here. Got a hold of the Royal Military. King Furry is sendin' some folks down here to clean up this place!"

Rooster threw his hands into the air. "We're all free!"

Bardock looked around as all of the people of the town started to celebrate. Gine gently smiled. Trying to get to the point, Bardock called out. "Hey! Who here ordered this truckload of vegetables?!"

The mayor of the town stepped forward and spoke up. "That would be the Sheriff. He put out an add trying to lure in more truckers into his little operation he had going on here. I don't think he was expecting someone like you to show up!"

Another man from the crowd called out. "But that don't matter! You two saved our town! So, we're more than happy to pay for your haul!"

A woman in the crowd called out. "My husband is a mechanic! He can fix up your truck for you, free of charge!"

Finally, Miss Zest stepped up and pressed a cold bottle of beer into Gine and Bardock's hands. "But that'll all take a while. So why don't you two join us for some good ol' fashioned celebration for the evening?"

Bardock glanced down to Gine and Gine nodded. "Some time to relax would be nice. Can I have a rag to wash my face with, please?"

Miss Zest nodded. "Sure thing, sweetie."

She pumped her fist into the air. "Well?! Come on y'all! We're free! Let's party!"

And so began a party that raged long into the night.

Sitting off at a table by themselves, Bardock and Gine both relaxed in the pleasant, small-town atmosphere. Gine rubbed her warm towel over her still throbbing eyes and drank her drink. Bardock was leaned back in his chair, his foot rested atop the briefcase of money that the mayor had given to him.

Not too bad for their first haul as truckers. Soon enough, the two of them were joined by Rooster and Road Mama. Bardock nodded and Rooster offered both him and Gine each another beer. He sighed in relief. "I got to hear my wife's voice for the first time in months. I'm so happy to be alive~"

Road Mama chuckled. "I called my wife. She cried through the whole call. And the town doctor put a proper splint on my arm, so maybe it'll heal now."

Gine sounded tired, but happy. "That's good to hear. I'm happy for you two. When are you headed home?"

Rooster belched. "In the mornin'. Once our rigs get fixed up. That town mechanic is bustin' his tails tryin' to get us all outta here."

Road Mama smiled. "But, we're glad to stick around. Cuz we wanted to ask you two something."

Gine perked up. Bardock leaned forward. "What is it?"

Rooster smirked. "Well, me and Road Mama and a few of the other guys were thinkin' of startin' our own little trucker union. And we wanted to know if you two'd like to join us. We'd love to have ya."

Gine cracked his bloodshot eyes open and looked over to Bardock. Bardock chuckled and smiled, giving a shrug. Gine nodded. "We would be thrilled to."

Road Mama cheered. "Well ain't that just great news!"

She raised her bottle into the air. "To new friendships, found in the weirdest situations!"

Rooster, Bardock, and Gine raised their bottles as well and then all four of them drank together in celebration.

And so ends this little tale of peaceful life on Earth. Another day of Bardock and Gine enjoying their retirement.

Proofreading: StevenBodner