A/N: So I confused you guys? Well, that actually wasn't my point when writing the last chapter. But I have good reasons! 1. When I wrote the chapter, I watched Finland-Swedish ice hockey game, and that's really important! 2. I was pissed off because Finland lost – again – that game… but we got silver…

Disclaimer: I don't own FullMetal alchemist. But I have contacts!

Chapter 7

" Roy, let go of me!" Ed yelled and tried to punch Roy with his small fists. He didn't like to be held close by Roy – not again. He had given a chance to Roy and he didn't want to be disappointed again. It hurt too much now, what kind of pain it would be when doubled?

" No! You hate me, but you were almost frozen there! What were you thinking when you were in the graveyard? Who would believe you were there? That's not very obvious," Roy said, his voice going high and low, biting his lips. Ed stopped his hitting, and looked away from him, having a hurtful look on his face.

" I went to meet with Hughes… and that's not even your business. What do you care, you rapist?" Ed snorted with an annoyed tone and clasped his hands in front of his chest. He heard Roy sighing, and even shiver under his pressure. He remembered he had run down the streets nearer and nearer the graveyard, where Maes Hughes was having his last rest. He had almost cried, he had panted and collapsed next to the gravestone. He had asked why Roy did the things he did. He wanted to know the reasons; he wanted to know everything about Roy.

" Edo… I am truly sorry I tried… I tried to – that I tried to rape you again," Roy said in a silent voice that sent a shiver down Edward's spine. For a few seconds he froze again, and stared directly into Roy's chest. Roy spoke only words, only words, but why were those words so heavy? He thought he saw the old Roy behind that dark vest he had put on his face. Minor thought in him hoped that Roy would be normal again.

" Don't you think I will forgive you? I will never, never do that," Edward snapped and breathed in and out in heavy breaths. Even though Roy didn't do what he wanted and nothing happened in that way, Ed still felt hurt and incomplete. Roy's eyes always glimmered in the scarce light he had in his room, and when the older man had pressed against his body and his eyes glimmering, Edward had panicked. When Roy went speechless, Edward turned his face away from Roy and saw they were walking in the corridor. They were nearby his room and it didn't took long when Roy pulled open the door of his room and stepped inside, Ed still in his arms. He laid Ed down to his bed, winding him up to his coverlet. The taller man stepped aside and leaned against the wall where Al's picture smiled at him.

" I am not going to ask you to forgive me," Roy started, looking down to the floor. He saw his black boots on Ed's clean and light coloured floor. He felt how Ed turned his intensive gaze towards him questioningly. He heard Ed turn in his bed, his sheets rustling under his movements.

" Go on."

" But I would want you to listen… what… what I want to say."

" What you want to say or what you have to say?"

" Both. When you had gone, I felt immediately empty and guilty. I regretted and I still do, what I had done to you. I got anxious about the blackness in my room. I opened my curtains, turned on the lamps – but it still needed something, it needs you Ed. I want you to be by my side and I don't understand myself when I try to hurt you," Roy spoke and gulped. He spoke so slowly, articulating every word carefully, thinking what he wanted to say. It never had been so difficult to speak to someone.

" You could look at me in the eyes when you speak. It's more efficient that way," Ed whispered and pulled the blanket tighter around him. Roy was suffering he could see it clearly. The older man was sweating and panting, moving his legs nervously. It wasn't the old Roy, but it wasn't the " wicked" Roy either. Slowly Roy lifted his head and looked at him, black eyes searching for hope from golden depths. Edward decided not to give any.

" I… I can't live without you. Ed, I am so sorry that I hurt you," Roy said, seeing an invisible barrier around Ed. He could not get through it, he could scratch it with his nails, hit it with his hammer, burn it with his fire, but he couldn't get through it. He would stay outside while Ed got away from his sight.

" That's enough for this evening. Now, get out from my room," Ed said plainly, waving his auto-mail hand. He enjoyed seeing Roy so hopeless in front of him. He would hurt Roy and see how long Roy could stand it.

" That's all?" Roy asked confusedly and straightened his body. Ed glared at him like he was an idiot who didn't know where to pee. Roy knew he had hurt Ed, but Ed still wouldn't act like this. He saw unnatural burn in Ed's golden eyes and suddenly looked away, astonished by what the had seen.

" Yeah, that's all. I can't jump on your neck and forgive you! You are so self-centred that you should find a path out of it!" Ed shouted at him, anger flowing in his voice. He threw his pillow towards Roy, who avoided it with a simple movement. Roy stared at Ed quietly, and then walked out of the room, leaving Ed alone.

Ed stared at the door for a few seconds. He had snapped, yelled and been rude. He had done the things he had always wanted to do. Of course he was spontaneous and yelled when someone poked him with a sharp baton. But when it came to these subjects, he had found out that he just couldn't do it – he couldn't explode and then fix it. Now finally he had done it and it didn't feel good at all. He curled up in his bed, under his blanket and shivered. ' I hope Roy would be here…'