Disclaimer: I don't own Full metal alchemist.

Chapter 9

The room was now silent. And yet it told stories about Ed. Roy's window was open and wind blew inside in his room. The dark curtains moved slowly back and fort, letting the sunshine in. Wind caressed Roy's cheeks and hair, making him feel wanted. Roy heard talking and laughing outside the building, but everything seemed to be so distant. It had been like that for a moment, since he had left Ed with his friends. He just waited and waited, imagined how Ed eventually would be back. Be back just for Roy. That was what Roy hoped for. But he feared for something else.

He was sitting on a chair in the middle of the room, looking around lazily. Almost everything in his room reminded him of Ed. Ed was the centre of his life and Ed was everything to him. Slowly Roy had left the darkness behind him and he could watch the sun without a panic. He wasn't afraid anymore that somebody would see his soul, to see into his black, rotten heart. Now he longed for somebody who would saw him, not his fake actions. Ed had insisted to be with him, although Roy had been something else than an angel. Roy inhaled deeply, letting his thoughts wander.

" I wonder if he is having fun…" he said loudly, thinking why he let himself to be so poignant. He should think something else instead of always having Ed in his mind.

Roy stood up, walking to his desk. There were no papers on it. He hadn't done anything lately. Even his big dream to become a Fuhrer has sunk into memories. None of his friends visited him anymore, and he hadn't even wanted to. He had thought that it would be just he and Ed. Just two of them sharing the time. How wrong has he been. When had he become so indignant, so lost to himself that he hadn't had any bright thought for a while?

He pushed his hand to his pocket and immediately his fingers met something cool, something that resembled a memory in his mind. Roy wound fingers around the thing and pulled it out. It was his silver clock with a silver chain. It told him again and again what he was and how he should behave. Roy wasn't proud of himself anymore.

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" Oh Ed! It's so good to see you again. I thought you would be lost forever!" A beautiful girl yelled straight to Edward's ears and hugged him enthusiastically. Ed smiled his big, bright smile, feeling like he was back at home, at last. It had been over six months, six months only despair and anxiety. Maybe this time everything was going to change.

" Yeah, Winry, long time no see," Ed answered and hugged Winry tightly before letting the girl go. Winry was as beautiful as ever with her big eyes and blond long hair. And this girl wasn't stupid. Winry was every guys daydream, even his a long time ago. Ed moved his gaze to his brother, who shyly stood aside Winry. Al was almost the same height as he, "dirtier" hair colour and that innocent look of his on his face. Ed sighed peacefully and knew that this was the place where his heart belonged. ' I love you Ed… I love you.'

" What?" Ed asked, blinking his eyes confusedly. He turned his head to look behind his back and then back to Winry and Al. Both his friends looked as confused as Edward too. Maybe Ed had imagined the words. He sure was following Roy on his path to insanity. They do say that hearing voices is first sign of madness.

" Come here Ed! We have something to show you," Winry said and pulled him with her. Al and Winry dragged him near to the little river. Ed remembered coming here often, feeding the fat birds. ' It's you I love. Believe me, will you? There's nothing else then you in my life. Edward, I want you only to belong to me. ' Ed heard Roy whisper to his ear, holding him tightly against Roy's bare chest. Ed buried his face into Roy's neck, wanting to be owned. It was strange, he had never wanted to be owned by anybody. And he knew he would regret this feeling later. ' Okey,' he had answered and Roy had held him passionately, taking him lustfully and slowly. He had been Roy's at that moment. He had surrendered. And he regretted it.

" Nii-san..? Are you alright? You look really pale," Al questioned, shaking Edward.

" Ah, what did you say? It seems I didn't listen" Edward shook his head and those strange images away from his head. Ed touched his cheek, running his fingertips on his temples and lips. ' This is me, this is me, am I losing myself?'

" I asked if you are alright," Al repeated, now really worried. He had never seen his brother so… confused. Edward was like an eastern bird in the middle of the winter. Edward had always been the one who kept everybody in control. Everybody admired Edward, because Edward was strong and brave. Al was worried if Edward's shine was going to decreased.

" I am fine. I just remembered something I had forgotten. What did you want to show me?" a curiosity rose in Edward's voice, and he looked around the riverside. Few couples were sitting there, holding hands or kissing slightly. Two students were having a lunch-break and laughing madly, but Ed didn't see anything that Winry and Al could mean. No birds either.

" We wanted to give you this," Al said and pulled a picture out of his pocket. It was really an old picture, it had turned brown and yellow, but Ed clearly saw four people standing in front of their now burned house. His and Al's mother was smiling that big, but sad smile, keeping her hands on their shoulders. Winry was standing in front of them, having a cute smile on her face – as always.

" We are so young in this picture. Who took this? I can't remember," Ed whispered, he was enchanted by the picture. It was a piece of his almost forgotten childhood, when he didn't hate anything else than milk and his father. Now in his life he had so much hatred and pain. He should bring the sun into his life again and forget. Al stepped besides him, looking over Ed's shoulder.

" I am not sure. Maybe it was a traveller. Or a villager," Al said, smiling slightly, almost sadly.

" Yeah… everything disappears more quickly than I thought. We seem to be so happy in this picture, yet I don't remember anything. Ah, sorry, I should not whine like a little girl," Ed joked and sat down to the lawn. He lifted his face towards the sun and closed his eyes, feeling how everything became warm and sweet. Strange tranquillity filled his heart and shadows behind his eyes faded away. Gentle wind blew his blond hair to his face, tickling his cheeks. Ed didn't need anything more, just his friends.

---

Everyone secretly held their breaths. The atmosphere was intense and quiet. No one dared to brake the silence, they just waited to see what happened. The workers of the room looked at Roy, who stood on the sill of the door. Roy had dressed to his old army suit, which emphasize with his black hair and eyes. Roy's ink black eyes stared determinedly at new Fuhrer. He had no intensions to be turned down, he was here to get what he wanted. He had appeared from nowhere after six months, even though he had been in the military area. He had been in the main building doing nothing. For six months he had lost his dream and goal. He had achieved one goal last night, but he was afraid he would lose it again. Ed wasn't a thing to be owned. He started to walk slowly towards the Fuhrer's desk, not noticing the ones that were startled by his actions. The distance was small and soon he slammed his hands down to Fuhrer's desk, looking directly into her eyes.

" I am here to demand my old position. I was lost and didn't know anymore what was important, but now I see my purpose clearly. I ask you to listen to me, Fuhrer, I am the one of the best soldiers you have and I can prove it anytime. My personal file can prove it to you too, but I am going to show you that you won't be disappointed again," Roy started, stating his words calmy and in composure. He had power in his voice, his words were audible. The Fuhrer looked back at his eyes, not exposing her thoughts. Suddenly she chuckled and shook her head. As expected.

" Colonel Roy Mustang, I heard your speech. You really are impolite, rushing to my room without knocking," The Fuhrer smiled an annoyingly calm smile and offered him a chair to sit. Before Roy could explain himself, before he could have been ashamed of himself, the Fuhrer continued.

" I have checked you profile for a couple of times. You are an excellent soldier, leader and you won't panic. Your alchemy is extremely interesting and you seem to be an interesting person as well. But how could you prove me that you won't broke down again?" the Fuhrer asked, looking straight to Roy's eyes. Roy lifted his chin, and locked his gaze to the Fuhrer's eyes.

" Because you have my word. I won't broke down again, I will work as hard as I can to make you all believe me again," Roy answered. He would not be turned down, he have to show to Ed that he can be the man Edward used to know. He would be worth Edward. He would be worth everything. He was the joke of military, suddenly disappearing somewhere with his dark intensions. Roy had been more than pathetic, more than anybody could bear. And he regretted it.

The Fuhrer pushed a paper over the desk to Roy and gave him a pencil. Then the Fuhrer crossed her arms on the table, smacking her lips slightly.

" All right, Colonel Roy Mustang. You have you squad again and if you seem to be worth it, I will render you somehow," the Fuhrer said and smiled a tiny smile. Roy filled the sheet, and gave it back to the Fuhrer. He stood up, made a position and walked out of the room, leaving everybody behind him.

---

" Nii-san, are you sure you want to be alone right now?" Al asked worriedly looking at his brother. Ed nodded. He had to do something before he could go to sleep.

" Don't worry Al, I'll be back and we will spend a whole nice day together with Winry," Ed comforted his brother. When had he spent the night with his brother, talking and laughing? It had been ages ago. But he just… he just had to find Roy, then be with his brother.

" Well, I am leaving. Meet me at the park tomorrow morning," he waved and started running away from his brother and Winry.

He ran down the streets back to the main building, up the stairs and corridors. He stopped when he saw Roy's door. Without knocking he stepped inside, looking around confusedly. What he saw was something he was not used to see anymore. He saw people and new desks, paperwork and disorder. And in the middle of the chaos he found Roy, who ordered around the people. Ed walked behind Roy, who noticed him immediately.

" Hello Ed and welcome back," Roy greeted. The older man saw how Ed didn't know what to do, and guided him out of the room. He knew Ed would be happy for this new opportunity and maybe… maybe Ed would let Roy into his heart.

" What was that?" Ed asked, blinking and then looking at Roy, who smiled widely. It was strange for Roy to smile so freely. Ed looked at that handsome face of Roy that he had became to like. Roy bent down to whisper into Ed's ear.

" I got my squad back," Roy said, grinning. He wanted to celebrate this chance as soon as possible. He didn't even know himself anymore. What he waited from Ed, was not what he got.

" What! No! That's not possible!" Ed yelled and looked furious. Ed turned his back to Roy, starting to run again. Ed didn't understand himself anymore, but why did it feel so bad when somebody else was around Roy more than he?

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Okey, I need ideas. Somebody who has many of them, please help me. I don't know what to do :D

And thanks to all who have reviewed and who will review. I got new alerts and favs and I am so happy )

And it seems that my betas have left me, so I need a new volunteer. I had to check this chapter by myself and I am sure there are tons of mistakes.