Disclaimer: I don't own Full metal alchemist

Chapter 10

A door opened and was quickly pulled closed. Roy heard a familiar voice calling him before he could turn to look who it was entering the room. It was his new bigger room that he had got when he had started to work again. The room was more bright and colourful. Roy liked it much more than his old room. This reminded him of somebody else that was now standing behind him.

" Roy, about yesterday. I don't know what got into me, but… I was tired and didn't know how to react, it came so sudden and I had just come back from the park", Edward started and looked down to the floor. He saw his own boots that were a little dirty from mud. He should clean them. He had run so much yesterday and it had been raining the whole evening. No wonder his boots were dirty. He lifted his gaze when he heard nothing and stared into Roy's chest. Edward was startled bit and took one step back.

" Are you apologizing to me?" chuckled Roy, stepping closer to Ed, who didn't meet his gaze. Edward gritted his teeth and pulled his lips into a straight line. He heard mockery in Roy's voice and didn't like it. When he came and apologized he would have like to have a nice reply to it.

" If you don't like my doings, then I will go away", Edward said and turned his back to Roy, ready to walk out of the room. He felt Roy wounding his arms around him and pulling closer to the older man. Ed felt how Roy placed his chin against Ed's shoulder.

" It's okay, I accept it", Roy said, snuggling Ed's neck. Ed relaxed into Roy's touch and closed his eyes. It was warm and comfortable to be in Roy's arms and he didn't mind when Roy lifted him up and started carrying him to the bed.

" We haven't tested my new bed yet", Roy whispered huskily into Ed's ear and placed him down on the bed. Ed just lay there, his braid now loose. He looked at Roy, whose black hair fell to his face, making that pale skin look almost sick. Roy, who stood under the light, had ebony black eyes, which Ed loved to look at. The light made hard contrast on Roy's face and the older man seemed to be unreal. Ed lifted his arms towards Roy. He wondered if Roy was real at all, if it was a beautiful picture from the past, in his memory. Roy touched Ed's skin and the blond boy shivered, closing his eyes. He wanted to feel Roy, not to see him. Ed trusted his feeling more than his eyesight. He didn't want to know that he had lost Roy.

The bed jumped and Ed felt a weight on his stomach and chest. He was gathered into the older man's arms and Roy placed kisses on his neck and collarbone. Ed bent in Roy's arms and brought his arms around Roy. Roy pushed his knee between the blonde's legs and parted them. Ed lifted his legs so he could easily wound them around Roy's waist. Ed smiled when Roy kissed his cheeks and eyelids, finally finding Ed's lips. A hungry tongue made an entrance into Ed's mouth and dominated him. It was an inquiring kiss that grew hungrier in every second. Ed moaned into Roy's mouth and felt how Roy pulled himself away.

Ed opened his eyes to see a flushed Roy, whose hair was a total mess. Roy grabbed Ed's waistband and pulled his trousers down. Roy chuckled when he saw Ed's erection that waited for his attention. Roy gently took Ed into his hand, watching how Ed squirmed under his touch. The blonde's back arched and silent moans escaped from his lips. Roy's hand was moving on him, making his mind blank and body hot. Ed's eyes closed when Roy entered him with his fingers. The boy heard Roy's harsh breathing and felt him pulling his thighs apart. A fabric brushed Ed's inner-thighs and he felt something cold and wet on his entrance. Roy nudged his erection against Ed's hole and pushed inside slowly.

For Ed it was double sensation when Roy was moving inside him and when the fabric brushed his legs. It was a pleasurable contrast and Ed gave out louder moans without realising it. Roy took Ed's

smaller hand into his own and squeezed it, placing tender kisses on Ed's hot and sweaty skin. He liked it how Ed was obedient and let Roy touch him.

" I love you", he said as he came inside Ed. He felt Ed following him after a few seconds. Ed didn't reply, just pulled Roy closer and buried his face into the man's chest. It was eternal in one second and Ed lost consciousness.

Ed woke up after a few hours sleeping. He was wrapped into a blanket like a barbeque chicken and he was at least as hot as it would have been. He squirmed himself out of the blanket and blink his unfocused eyes. He rubbed his eyes and yawned like he had slept more than one day. Sun was setting on the background and painted the walls in purple and orange. Ed threw his eyes away from the sun and stepped out from the bed, not minding wearing any clothes. It was quiet in the room, but he heard noises from the bathroom. He walked to the door and pulled it ajar, looking at Roy's slender back. Water ran down his spine as he stood under the shower. Ed stepped into the bathroom and sneaked behind Roy. He wound his arms around Roy's waist and enjoyed when Roy jumped in surprise.

" Ed!" Roy yelled and got water in his mouth. He spitted it out and turned to look at Ed who had pressed his tiny body against Roy.

" You can wash me if you want", Ed said while he got wet with Roy. Roy chuckled again and sank his hand into Ed's hair. Ed really used any opportunity to be spoiled. Roy shampooed the blonde's hair and washed him all-over, wondering if the automail limbs were not rusting. He ran his hands on Ed's body and watched the younger man's face as it turned into a light smile every time Roy touched his chest. Suddenly Ed's smile was washed away with the water and Ed opened his eyes in panic.

" What's wrong?" Roy asked and touched Ed's cheek, but the boy avoided his touch. Ed stepped away from Roy and placed his automail hand on the wall. The metal shined in the dim light and Ed bended his finders.

" I have done so much with this previous hand. It's an important piece of my past. I couldn't live without it after all, even though that's what I first wanted. I love to fight and run madly. I want to get mad and cry out of misery. It's just that I love living", Ed said, not looking at Roy. He still watched his metal hand and turned it over to see if there was something new in it. Winry should make him a new one; she loved to make new things with automail. Roy didn't step closer; he listened carefully and tried to get the point from Ed's talk. Ed sure surprised him. If Roy thought he knew Ed, the boy would surely remind him of his mistake.

" I am going to leave for a while", Ed continued and threw a look at Roy.

" What?" Roy asked, almost shouting his opinion to Ed's face. Ed smiled, but he didn't mean it. His smile was weak and sad; it didn't reach his eyes. Roy was thrown off from his feet and the pain still remained in his chest. Ed was going to abandon him. Ed was going away.

" I need to get out. I have been here six months. You know how it was, because it was you, who forced me to stay. Don't look so hurt", Ed pleaded and reached to touch Roy's arm. Ed's touch was apologizing.

" Take me with you", Roy suggested but Ed's expression told it all. Roy switched off the shower and wrapped himself into a big white towel. He rubbed his hair and face, slowly going down. As if he wanted to remove Ed from his skin by rubbing it. It didn't help much, only his skin got redder. It looked ridiculous and he didn't dare to turn to face Ed.

" Why didn't you tell me anything earlier?" Roy asked after a few minutes of silence. He heard Ed shifting behind him. The automail leg slammed against the floor every time Ed took a new step with it, he slowly passed by Roy.

" I didn't know I was going to leave", Roy heard Ed speaking from the living room where the bed was kept. He reached to see Ed who stood in front of the window and stared up to the sky.

" I realised that my only way getting out from my shell is to leave and brake the shell. There are some days or evenings when I get anxious without even knowing why. I just want to shake it off, but it won't leave. And then comes the days when I am happy and I want to shout out my happiness. Roy, I am not balanced. While you got out from your shell just by thinking of me, I can't leave my shell if I don't first leave something behind – and I am not referring to you now. You are just too sticky to be left off", Ed smiled to Roy, who stood at the bathroom door.

" I don't want to let you go", Roy said silently and sat down to the bed, towel wrapped over his hips. Sadness washed all over him and he remembered Ed hugging him.

The pain in my chest; that is what makes me visible, that is what makes me important. There's no substitute for victory, it's just a plain acceptance of killing. I am your pain in wisdom.

" Ed, don't go! Please…" Roy yelled after Ed, who walked away from him. Ed bitted his lip, but refused to look back. He knew he would go back and stay with Roy forever. Even though Ed heard pain and agony in Roy's voice, it was not pathetic. Roy wasn't asking on his knees, not crying, it was pure pain that Ed left. Ed closed his eyes tightly and took step after step. It was important to keep on going. It was important to come back.

1. Sorry it took so long!