"Oh, hello." Anya greeted him as he came into the store, early in the morning "You're here."
"I am here" he confirmed, looking around the shop and finding it quaint.
"Well, thank you for coming. You should really leave now. I would like to help you, but I don't want any problems in my shop…" she started to say, but she didn't get to finish her rant before the bell on the door rang, and two people walked in "Well, here goes nothing…" he barely heard the girl murmur; he was distracted by what he saw.
"Clark, why am I not entirely surprised to find you here, of all places" he said, although he was quite surprised.
"Lex? What are you doing here?" the boy asked, sounding truly confused as he hurried towards his friend "Is –is that a shirt with my picture on it?"
"He kind of looks like you, doesn't he… I like the tights" Lex leered for a moment, before he grew serious again "Are you alright, Clark? Do you have any idea how we ended up here?"
"I'm alright, but I don't know how I got here… how we, apparently, got here." the younger boy answered, sounding truthful enough for Lex "I… we were going to try and find out, now. How did you end up here? In this shop, I mean"
"I know Anya. Or I will know her, eventually. Maybe." he chuckled "It's too complicated, really… but I'm glad to see you" he said earnestly, returning Clark's smile; only then did he acknowledge the other person in the room "Lex Luthor" he offered, extending his hand to the stranger.
"Um, hi? Xander Harris" the other answered with uncertainty, giving him a reluctant and weak handshake "You are… you say you are Lex Luthor?" he sounded concerned "Ahn, this man says he's Lex Luthor… Do you know what that means?"
"He is Lex Luthor, I've met him… I kind of gave him cancer a while ago, only not yet for him" she explained, the last part a faint whisper that eluded Lex, but which Clark was horrified to catch. He chose not to address it.
"Um… alright" Xander gulped, slowly turning around to face Lex with a big, nervous smile "Mr. Luthor. How may we help you?"
"I think I'm here for the same reason Clark is" he said offhandedly, quite used to the servile attitude if not pleased by it "Lost in spacetime for unknown reason. Trying to get back to point of origin. You don't happen to know why or how we ended up here, right Clark?"
"No, Lex. I have nothing to do with this…" the boy assured him, sounding embarrassed.
"Somehow I'm not surprised by this either. You never seem to have any explanations…"
"I'm sorry, Lex…" the boy interrupted him, unable to look at his friend in the eye; he had had the discussion with dad over a dozen times, but he didn't think it was a good idea to tell Lex anything about the secret, no matter how much Lex pushed.
"It's alright Clark, I'm sorry." Lex hurried to assure his friend "I didn't mean to pressure you, I'm just a bit overwhelmed right now…"
"You're overwhelmed?" Xander stuck his nose in "This is how you look when overwhelmed?"
"What would you have me do, Mr. Harris?" Lex asked, sounding entirely too neutral for a human being "I could run around the shop in an insane rampage, but I have no hair to pull out hysterically."
Xander was shocked, and also pretty sure he should be offended, since he was apparently been mocked. He could tell by the way Clark was trying to conceal a smile. Xander had been mocked plenty in his day, but never by a bald guy in a stupid superman t-shirt. Coincidentally, never by a multimillionaire genius from a comic book either, which made him feel marginally better.
"I would behave like an idiotic fool if I thought it could help the situation any, but somehow I doubt it would." Lex continued "As it is, I am truly hoping you're not the person we should be relying on to get back home…"
"No, don't worry, he's just the sidekick" Anya intervened from her place behind the cash register, while counting the money yet again "The others should be arriving any minute now. In the meantime, you could check out my merchandise… we have some things on sale over there in the back."
"Yes, I will do that, Anya." Lex agreed, starting for the back "Clark, would you care to join me?"
"Yeah, sure Lex" the younger boy agreed, starting right after Lex even if he was somewhat concerned about what his friend might want to talk about "What is it?" he asked as they made a turn among some shelves filled with things Lex seemed actually curious about.
"I just wanted to talk to you in private for a moment. You know I don't trust easily, and I certainly don't trust these… buffoons. Are you sure you are alright?"
"Yeah, other than the fact that I am in some alternative reality thing…" he rolled his eyes "They're okay, Lex. And there is this older man, Mr. Giles… he seems smart, and he said he was going to see how he could help me back home."
"How long have you been in this 'reality'?" Lex questioned him while looking at some jars on a shelf, in a very Lex kind of attempt at being unobtrusive.
"For about a day now." he sighed "It's alright Lex, really, you don't have to baby me. We'll just stick together from now on, okay?"
Lex turned back to face him then, and was probably about to respond with a denial to the accusation of babying him, when a voice from the front of the shop interrupted them;
"Are you two alright back there?" the man's voice asked, sounding a bit too concerned for someone who did not actually know them.
"We're quite fine" Lex replied in a louder than usual voice, picking up a random jar from a shelf "The… testicles of a horbba-kei seem interesting" he noted, almost betraying a chuckle when he saw Clark rolling his eyes.
"They're great aphrodisiacs!" Anya yelled back "But if you mix them with kuyiaa roots they make a great money-making amulet".
"Really? How much are they?" he asked back, shaking the disgusting jar a little to make the two balls move around a bit.
"You don't need a money-making amulet, Lex. Put it back." Clark said before the reply could come, grabbing the jar and putting it on a shelf beyond Lex's reach.
"That's a cheap trick, Clark." his friend complained "And it was the other property of the horbba-kei testicles that I was interested in" he assured Clark, giving him a suggestive look that made him turn as red as a traffic light.
"Shut up" Clark pouted, unknowingly making himself even more endearing.
"Come on, Clark" Lex sighed in defeat, only moderately annoyed by the boy's usual cluelessness "Let's go back there…"
When they made it back to the front of the shop, they found the man and the woman both looking at them expectantly.
"So, is everything alright?" Xander asked nervously, when nobody seemed to say anything.
"We're still here, so I gather some things are definitely not alright" Lex said smoothly "I do wonder what exactly you mean by that."
"Nothing, nothing at all… it's just…" the local boy paused, considering "You two know each other, right?"
"Yeah, we both live in Smallville" Clark hurried to answer, before Lex could verbalize any of the snark remarks he was no doubt coming up with "We're friends… sort of."
"'Sort of', as in 'he tries to kill me every now and then'?"
"What, no! Lex wouldn't try to kill me!" the Superman-to-be sounded upset "We… like each other, right Lex?"
"I certainly like you Clark." Lex said earnestly, turning his attention back to the other man with a speculative look in his eyes "Why would you think I would ever try to hurt him?"
"Hurt? I didn't say hurt." Xander assured him, realising he was really out of his depth and that he should have read all those Superboy comics instead of sticking to good old Superman alone.
"You said 'kill', Mr. Harris." the bald man interrupted his reverie "I believe your exact words were 'he tries to kill me every now and then'"
"You're as good now as you were when you were older" Anya sounded impressed.
"Thanks. I was raised to be unsettling; the good memory is just a gift." he assured her, and was about to start questioning the boy again when an older man arrived.
"Good morning everyone" the man greeted with a cultured accent that Lex liked instantly "Is Willow not here yet?"
"She had class" Anya pointed out "Will be here in about… two hours and thirty-two minutes."
"Thank you Anya. How was your night Clark? I hope you slept alright?"
"It was fine Mr. Giles, thank you" Clark smiled politely, making the older man smile as well; then, he suddenly seemed to notice Lex.
"Oh, I am sorry. I don't believe we have met…" he said, his eyes on the young man with the strange combination of a silly t-shirt and the most wonderfully cut dress pants Giles had seen in quite some time, along with shoes that probably cost more than all of the store's stock.
"We haven't." Lex assured him, walking forward and extending his hand "Lex Luthor."
"Rupert Giles, it's a pleasure" the man replied, holding Lex's hand in a confident shake that the millionaire liked instantly, all the while maintaining eye contact.
"The pleasure is all mine, Mr. Giles. My friend Clark tells me you are trying to find a way to bring him—and hopefully, me—home?"
"Yes, of course. I was not aware there was someone else in Clark's situation, but we are doing our best…"
"I appreciate it, Mr. Giles. Is there any way Clark or I may be of help?"
"At the moment, I'm afraid we just have to wait." Giles said apologetically.
"I understand." Lex assured him "Would I be correct in assuming you are the one who can answer some questions?"
"Yes, by all means. Please, come down this way".
