Two hours had passed by the time Willow and Buffy arrived. They found both Anya and Xander in front –Anya looking extremely bored, and Xander looking strangely edgy—and the sounds of a quite animated conversation coming from the back.
Anya raised her eyes in momentary excitement when she heard the door open, and then sighed in defeat when she saw no costumers; Xander just continued to look upset even as the two girls approached.
"So, what's going on?" Buffy asked, when she saw no-one was volunteering any information.
"They've been with Giles for two hours" Xander explained "I was there for about fifteen minutes, and I had no idea what they were going on about, so I left them to their smart-guy jollies and came back here…"
"Huh, I didn't figure Clark for the smart-guy-jollies type" Buffy admitted, glancing in the general direction the animated sounds were coming from "Who else is there with them? I can hear a third voice…"
"That'd be Lex Luthor" the boy supplied "His comic book nemesis… only not so much."
"I'm mentally exhausted" the blonde sighed "Explain?"
"The guy in there? He's supposed to be Clark's nemesis. Or Superman's, anyway." Xander explained, sounding tired and confused "Only they seem pretty buddy-buddy so far."
"Yeah? Well, all the better for us, right?" Buffy seemed pleased "Maybe the guy who wrote the comic took some creative liberties, or something…"
"Actually, the Lex Luthor I met was pretty much at odds with Superman…" Anya pointed out from behind the counter.
"He was?" Willow asked curiously "How at odds? Was it like the movies…?"
"Well, I haven't watched the movies… human movies leave something to be desired, in my opinion" the ex-demon admitted "but they were pretty much on the verge of killing each other, and maybe even taking the whole work with them… that man over there really knows how vengeance is done. I was humbled."
"Anya!" Xander whined "Why didn't you tell me this before. They could have killed each other while we waited here, doing nothing!"
"Well, you didn't actually ask…" she pointed out "I thought you were wound up enough as it was, and why bother… Maybe they are friends now, and will only become enemies later on. That's one abused story-arc. Or they just might be another Lex and another Clark."
"Another Lex and another Clark" the boy asked, confused "How?"
"I'm just saying… why not?" she shrugged "There's probably an endless number of Lexes and Clarks out there, depending on millions of different events… maybe there is a Lex that is not bald, or a Clark that is bound to conquer the world… or, hey, maybe even someplace where Clark is Lex's adopted brother!"
"Wait a minute, honey. You mean all the contradictions in the comic book might actually have been true at some point?" Xander sounded thrilled like a preschool infant.
"Sure" she agreed "But it'd take you forever –literally speaking—to find out, and you don't have that much time."
"Well, that's okay…" Xander shrugged, sounding only a little bit disappointed by that "It'd still be pretty cool to know some of those places… how would one go about that?"
"Um, Xander?" Buffy tapped on his shoulder "Sounding a bit disturbing there, my friend".
"What? How?" he asked, perplexed.
"You were one evil laugh away from the mad scientist routine…" Willow pointed out, her eyes wide open "You're not supposed to inquire about inter-dimensional travel, mister! Magic is not something for you to play with!"
"Isn't that something Giles told you?" Anya asked, sounding honestly curious, from her place behind the counter.
Willow blushed as if on cue, Xander looked suddenly very embarrassed, and Buffy felt tempted to strangle Anya, who was looking at the three of them expectantly.
When the silence had lasted long enough for anyone's comfort, and Xander was about to make a goofy comment to break the ice, the front door opened with its characteristic ding-dong. Anya turned to them and mouthed the word "costumer", while pointing at the back of the store, and the three friends obediently moved away.
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They walked into the backroom to find Giles and Lex Luthor laughing.
It was an immediately stunning sight, as none of the three friends seemed to remember Giles laughing quite like that, ever. Honest, long-lasting chuckles, as if something very funny had been said—only Giles didn't usually find things funny.
Lex Luthor also seemed absolutely amused, and appeared to be the one who had been speaking, only now he was looking intently at the three new arrivals. He had mirth in his eyes, but also gave the disturbing impression of being studying them. Only Xander saw the momentary look that was cast his way, and he could have sworn it was a scary one, but chose not to mention it at the time.
"Oh, there you are, girls!" Giles called at once, still sounding more amused than usual "Come here, please, I want you to meet Lex… he's Clark's friend, mysteriously lost in Sunnydale as well."
"He seems to be a funny friend" Buffy noted.
"It's one of the few adjectives that are usually not linked to my name" Lex assured her, standing up to shake the girls' hands.
"On the contrary, he's quite hilarious…" Giles insisted, clearly in an excellent mood, as everyone else exchanged greetings "He is also quite the scholar; we were discussing some interesting theories, just now, about…"
"Wait" Xander interrupted him, looking for all the world as if he were juggling with one two many ideas at the same time "Are you a millionaire? Or… or are you a mad scientist?"
Words died on everyone's mouths and all the eyes turned to Xander, who had realized his terrible phrasing barely an instant too late and was now looking quite embarrassed. He had been so busy thinking about what Anya had just told them, he had not really considered how potentially offensive could the stereotypical denomination be.
And now Lex Luthor was staring at him coldly, perhaps even murderously, and everyone else was giving him either shocked or disappointed looks.
"Mr. Harris, was it?" Lex Luthor addressed him at once "As usual, your questions are as odd as they are tactless. I have no doubt you are inspired by the most profound desire to help us, and even if the reason for this question eludes me I am sure the answer must be of the outmost importance for the situation at hand, so I would have to say 'yes' to both."
"Both?" Xander repeated lamely, somewhat disturbed by the sudden occurrence that, if Lex Luthor were a giant reptile, he would be munching on his entire head by now.
"Yes… a millionaire, according to Fortune, and a mad scientist, according to several universities and an educated board of mental specialists".
"Alright, that is enough of that" Giles spoke up, when it became clear nobody else was going to say anything "I am truly sorry about this, and I strongly apologise for Xander's behaviour… as I'm sure he will, in just a moment. But first, you need to know that in this reality there are, um, several comic books based on both Clark's and your persona."
"Comic books? Really?" Lex asked, not looking shocked as much as he looked interested "Well, who edits these comic books?" he questioned, a speculative look in his eyes.
"Well, there are lots of different stories… even different comic books." Xander explained, when everyone's eyes were turned to him "They have been written by many people, really…"
"Yes, of course, I know how comic books work…" Lex interrupted the babbling teen "What I meant was, is it copyrighted?" he insisted.
"Lex, you're not going to sue them" Clark said at once, while everyone else just stared with uncomprehending eyes at the bald man "You don't even have grounds to sue… you don't exist in this reality".
"Well, if inter-dimensional travel is possible, and people have been doing it for centuries" Lex reasoned "Then inter-dimensional prosecution should not only be possible, but probably a very good business as well."
"Yes, well, it is in fact possible…" Giles admitted, taking off his glasses to inspect the crystals "but the market is dominated by a rather unscrupulous firm."
"Lawyers tend to be that way" Lex said noncommittally "But let's forget about it, before Clark actually succeeds in making my head burst into flames."
"What?" the alluded boy jumped, with that deer-in-the-headlights look that everyone already recognized by now.
"It's a joke, Clark" Lex assured him, placing one hand on the boy's knee in a comforting gesture "You were staring daggers at me, and I know you hate it when I am been a Luthor. It's all."
"Oh, okay" Clark relaxed visibly "I just hadn't heard you."
"I'm sure you hadn't, Clark" his friend insisted, sounding perhaps a bit disappointed, but no more than that "Did you have breakfast, Clark?"
"Yeah" Clark blushed almost instantly "Early this morning, we had some coffee at Xander's before we came down here".
"Well, I didn't have any breakfast before I left the hotel" Lex said, pulling his wallet out of his pocket and offering Clark a few dollars "Would you go get me something to eat, Clark? You and the guys could go, have some coffee yourselves, or whatever you'd like…"
"Yeah, sure Lex" Clark agreed, taking the offered money and standing up readily "Can any of you show me around?"
"Yeah, come on, we know just the place" one of the girls said, and soon all the teenagers were on their way out, leaving Giles and Lex alone as expected.
