"With This Knife"

Why did he have to leave? Kaoru asked herself with tears rushing down her fragile, porcelain like cheeks. Why couldn't he stay? He was so selfish! She closed her eyes, cursing at herself mentally for thinking such a thing. Kenshin was anything but selfish.. She loved him.

I let myself fall into a lie
I let my walls come down
I let myself smile and feel alive
I let my walls come down
No matter how i try i don't know why
You push so far away
You wrapped your hands tight around my heart
And squeezed it full of pain

She was so happy with him.. It was so different from everything else she ever felt, its like she could never explain the happiness she felt when she was with him. She was in a cloud, fallen into heaven when she was with him; looking deep into his beautiful eyes. She wished he'd stayed. Her heart was torn, broken.. Shattered. Those words kept echoing over and over in her head. Good-bye, Ms. Kaoru.

With this knife i'll cut out the part of me
The part that cares for you
With this knife i'll cut out the heart of me
The heart that cares for you

She let out a small breath as she pushed herself up from the bed. What would happen if he never returned? Would he? Could he? She put her hands to her cheeks again. "Ken-shin…" She whispered. "Ken-shin!" She screamed.

I can't believe the way you took me down
I never saw the pain
Coming in a million broken miles
Like poison for my veins

She closed her eyes, images flying over her eyes. Images on him on the ground, dead with blood dripping from his mouth, his fingers wrapped around the hilt of the reverse blade sword. Nightmares haunted her. She had realized, that love had lifted her up.. But, it was casting her into the darkness as well. She was alone now.. All Alone.

The hate and the fear
The nightmares that wake me up
In tears
The nightmares and (the hate)...

She pushed herself up, gripping one of the daggers she had hidden. She hadn't used one in so long.. She was so used to the wooden sword of the Kamiya-Kashine style. But, many things changed her mind. The events that led up to this point, that led up to this day; her thoughts..

"Ken-shin.." She closed her eyes, unsheathing the dagger slowly and holding it tightly, the blade pointed towards her own body. "Ken-shin." Her hands were shaking.

With this knife i'll cut out the part of me
The part that cares for you
With this knife i'll cut out the heart of me
The heart that cares for you.

She wanted to be with him.. Forever. She wanted to hold him…Forever. But she couldn't now. He was gone.. And she soon would be as well. She closed her eyes and wrapped both hands around the hilt of the dagger. "I'm sorry.." She whispered, throwing the blade through her stomach.

The pain was something she didn't expect. She thought she had felt all kinds of pain. "Ken-…shin.." She said, dropping to the floor.