.Short Stories.
Small and Smexy
What does everyone do on their eighteenth birthday? The first day they can legally drink. Why, they drink of course! Edward Elric was no different to any other eighteen year old. He hadn't drunk before, as he was generally and surprisingly well behaved. However, this did not mean he could stop himself from getting drunk, especially when your closest friends where about thirty, and liked to shove shots down our throat. What were the chances he wouldn't get drunks anyway, so might as well accept it.
Oh yes, tomorrow morning was going to be one hell of an after math.
Of course, he knew this, but what can you do? All of them were trying to get him drunk. Minus Winry, she didn't seem to like the idea, though in Ed's eyes, she was kinda boring. Alphonse was in a nice, human body, thanks to his big brother, and everyone started to find how mean he could be, when it came to his brother. Lets go to the early hours of the night, when everyone was sober, and they'd only had a few drinks.
"Come on big brother! It's your special day!" Al whined slightly. "When I'm eighteen, I'm sure you'll do the same thing!" He reminded. Ed winced slightly, sinking into his seat.
"That's not the point Al; most people do stupid things when they're drunk. I'm not taking the chance. I'm not going to get drunk." Winry nodded, agreeing with the older one.
"He's right Al! I'm sure he also wants to keep his liver!" Al was glad when Havoc and Mustang came over, they'd support him!
"Come on big brother! Just this once!" He pleaded, the older, yet smaller, or the two looked away. "I'll blackmail you." Ed turned to his little brother suspiciously.
"You wouldn't dare." He said. Alphonse smirked evilly.
"Oh? Try me," He waved the two older men he'd seen earlier over. "Hey guys, I have something I need to tell you! I know who brother likes!" He shouted, Havoc dragged his superior over, telling him something with a giant smile. Edward pounced on his brother.
"Don't you dare! How'd you know anyway?" Alphonse laughed.
"Cause, it's been the same from the past three years, and if you think I don't hear what you practically scream in you dreams, you're deadly wrong." Edward twitched. Now he's eighteen, would that stop? Sitting back properly in his own chair, he sighed in defeat, just as the two older men came over.
"Fine. You win." Edward said and ordered another drink. Havoc tapped Al on the shoulder with a face full of question. Al shook his head.
"I blackmailed brother into having another drink, that's all." He said making Havoc grin and throw an arm round the smaller one's shoulder; they started talking about something Edward didn't want anything to do with. Winry looked at him curiously, and Roy leaned against his chair. Brilliant. Bloody well brilliant.
"Don't drink too much, who'll take you home … chibi." Edward twitched. Bastard, who was he calling short? Edward wasn't that short anymore. Ok, so he was, and now he was eighteen with a super height of 5'2, he probably wasn't going to grow anymore. Neither was the other though.
"Who are you calling chibi, ass?" He shot back. At least his temper had calmed down in the past few years, though not too much. Nothing had really changed. Roy put a fist on his head and rubbed, causing the blonde hair to mess.
"Who are you calling ass, baka chibi," Edward growled and grabbed the man's hand stopping it and pulling it down slightly. They glared at each other. Winry sighed, the two may be closer, but they didn't act that differently. "Anyway, happy Birthday. Have a nice night, get drunk, embarrass yourself, and get ready for me to blackmail you." Edward downed the drink in front of him, feeling it rush to his head.
"Stuff you Mustang. I am not going to get drunk." Roy turned to Al, who smiled at him.
"Who was it he liked again?"
"Ah yes, he liked-" Al fell back as Edward pounced on him again.
Zzz
Of course, I have yet to hear of someone not getting drunk on their eighteenth, especially when your brother is threatening to tell the military who you like. So, as expected, Ed found himself in a very strange mood after his eighth drink. For a short boy who had never had a drink before, he sure had a strong alcohol tolerance. Alphonse was also slightly tipsy, and swore he had nothing to do with the sudden disappearances of Ed's ninth and fifth drinks, and certainly wouldn't dream of taking anyone else's drinks! Roy was very amused. He was intelligent, well, relatively intelligent and had not had enough drinks to make him too drunk. He was tipsy though. Very tipsy. Extremely tipsy. His friends could be as bad as the younger of the two brothers though. He felt like they were planning something. Something evil, so evil that it was evil. Yes, that was his theory. Ok, so he was drunk, he'll admit it, but he had a habit of remembering what happens when he's drunk. It goes like this …
If he wakes up out in the street, he was very gloomy and anti-social.
If he wakes up in someone else's house, his friend was kind enough to take him there.
If he wakes up, and he's not alone in bed, he got laid.
If he wakes up, and he is alone in bed, consider that to be one more person he couldn't get.
The last one rarely happened, it was normally a case of the second or third. His friends were nice enough, and he was charming. He did have one incident where he woke up on the office sofa, and a nice big black eye, and what felt like a bullet shot in his leg. Riza was not to be messed with, in anyway, shape, or form. So, out of all the people in the room, he had chosen his target, and as said target was merrily drunk, it would make things a lot easier. He walked over to the bar, where the three youngest members of the room where seated, and wrapped his arms around one in particular. Alphonse. No, he was not crazy, and no, he did not like the youngest, he liked the oldest, but this was part of his plan.
Step one – make target jealous.
"W-what?" Squeaked the youngest Elric, completely baffled by Roy's choice. The Flame Alchemist smirked at the look on the three children's faces. Well, two children and one 'young adult'. Al was stiff and blushing slightly. Winry was in a state of shock and slight jealousy. Ed's face was priceless. His cheeks were bright pink, his mouth was slightly open, and his glazed eyes were wide. "What are y-you doing?" Al stuttered. Roy bent down and whispered in his ear.
"I'm after your brother; help me out a little, would you?" Al nodded at the words and lent back slightly. Edward got even redder. Standing, the shortest of the group stood and yanked them apart, dragging Roy to his own seat, forcing him to sit, and the sitting on his elder's lap. "What's wrong birthday boy, not jealous are you?" Edward turned so that he straddled the man and rested his forehead against the paler one.
"Ass," Roy blinked. "Ass, good for nothing, stupid, mean, idiotic ass. I hate you." Roy rose a fine eyebrow, before grinning.
"I love you too," He teased. Edward glared. "But speaking of ass…" Roy let a gloved hand travel to his targets' backside. Edward growled and blushed slightly. A few people had started watching the two, in utter amusement, or for some who didn't know them too well, utter confusion. Of course, those who hung around the two everyday knew of the constant flirting and attraction, and the one who was 'lucky' enough to share an apartment with his dear brother was sick of being woke almost every night by the name of the dear brother's crushes name ringing out through the whole place. He was kind of glad he'd been a suit of armour for this reason; his brother still didn't know who he liked. Still, the suit thing was good and gone.
"What do you think your doing?" Edward asked. Winry had left at this point; she would rather talk to the gun freak than watch her childhood friend getting groped. Roy smiled.
"I like the feel of leather, and seeing as your pants are leather, I thought I would see what they felt like." Pathetic, but who cares.
"Liar!" Roy sighed.
"Ok, you caught me; I may like the feeling of leather, but the feeling of leather on your ass rocks." He didn't expect the next move to come from the blonde. He suddenly felt the eighteen year olds lips on his neck, sucking away. Moaning, he managed to speak a few words. "What you…doing?" Edward looked up and stopped to speak.
"I like the taste of your neck. What's wrong, not going shy on me, are you?" Roy had two choices, burn the idiot for calling him shy, or molests him on the spot. The second one sounded much nicer. At this point, Alphonse had left; he's rather be a little social butterfly than watch his brother make out with another guy. By the end of the night, Edward had almost fallen asleep, and Roy was happily chatting with some guy. As people left, they wished Ed a happy birthday, and left. Winry, who had decided to spend the night at her new found friend's house, dismantling guns and other things, decided to leave. Al figured that now would be the best time to end the party.
"What's wrong Edo?" Roy asked, said Alchemist was glaring at him.
"You'd rather talk to some old freak than make-out. Making-out is so much more fun." Roy was guessing that this was brought with the fact all the higher ranks, and older people, had decided to come and talk to him almost every time the drunken pair had started to do anything that could turn out badly.
"No. I agree, making-out is much more fun, but I know something that's better…" Edward looked interested. "But, we'd have to go to your place; my place is a mess right now."
Zzz
Ed woke the next morning, and everything hurt. Hid head was banging, and his ass felt very sore. He couldn't remember much, but he knew something along the lines of being blackmailed, and not going to sleep on his lonesome. Al was knocking on the door. He grunted something of a 'come in' and sat up, making the banging worse, as his little brother came in the room.
"Are you ok brother? You had a rough night."
"What happened? I don't remember anything! I blame you for whatever it was," Al's explanation didn't go down well. "I did WHAT with WHO?" He yelled, before noticing that it only made his headache worse.
"Brother! Come, you have to go to the office! You'll be dead if you're late!" Al said, trying to change the subject.
Edward, reluctantly, nodded, and decided to face the consequences of his horrid night.
Zzz
So much paperwork…So much banging…no, wait, that was his headache. In face, it might have something to do with Riza firing her gun every time he fell asleep on his work….either way…
Edward gingerly opened the door, peaking round. Riza…Winry…Havoc…Roy…looks like many people suffered a headache this morning, as even Riza was rubbing her head slightly. The three looked to the door. Havoc had a knowing grin on his face, Riza looked very sympathetic, and Roy…looked like he owned the world. This was not from him opening the door, they only actually noticed him when he started walking into the room…well, limping into the room. His entire bottom half hurt; badly. Winry ran over to him, from her position on the couch, making sure he was ok, helping him walk to his commander's desk.
"So, FullMetal. Did you have a nice birthday?" Roy asked, like nothing had happened. Edward glared nastily. "Well?"
"I don't know. I don't remember." Roy smirked.
"Oh? You must've gotten drunk, I can't blame you though, I did the same thing on my eighteenth…but, I didn't wake up limping, why is that?" Edward's glare got darker. Roy's smile got wider.
"I don't think I need to explain something you already know." Came the icy reply. Roy nodded.
"I guess you're right. Personally, I know I had an excellent time. I know who to thank, no?" The two had a staring contest. Roy sighed and shook his head.
"What?"
"Don't be like that Edo-kun…though I have to say, you do scream like a girl.
For the rest of the day, Ed had a limp. For the rest of the week, Roy had a black eye.
Zzz
Kitty: that was longer than expected…hope you don't mind!
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Ciao!
