Disclaimer: Don't own Kingdom Hearts or any of its characters, unfortunately. Also don't own any lyrics by Jimmy Eat World.

A/N: OKAY, so here it is, the super seekrit fic I've been working on for the past few months. It's my first chaptered fic in a long time, so let's hope I keep up with it, eh? Hope you all enjoy it!

P.S. wtf, the horizontal line thingie isn't working...

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the one thing that stays mine

PART I

.chapter one.

Roxas blinked his eyes open slowly, not really sure what had woken him up and feeling slightly annoyed at the fact that his sleep had been disturbed. He closed his eyes once more, trying his best to get back to sleep but finding himself unable to suppress the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that was telling him that there was a reason for him to be awake. Roxas had to admit it was a strange feeling; one that sent shivers creeping up his spine.

Heaving a tired sigh, he glanced at the digital alarm clock sitting on his bedside table. Its red numbers flashed the time brightly in his face, forcing him to squint as he read them. Two-thirty in the morning exactly. For a split second, he could have sworn he heard something like a book shift on its shelf and he whipped his head around to see if anything or anyone was there, but he saw nothing but darkness.

Shaking his head as if to scold himself for being so childish, Roxas sat up, swinging his legs over the side of his bed and planting them on the soft carpet. He took a moment to yawn and stretch tiredly before making his way out of his room, ignoring how light the air seemed in the hallway as opposed to the heaviness he had felt in his room. The hallway was pitch black, which would normally have felt comforting to the boy, but tonight was daunting and gave him the feeling of being watched. He shook his head again.

"Stop being stupid," he whispered to himself as he made his way downstairs and into the kitchen. Roxas opened the refrigerator door quickly, silently thankful for the light it emitted into the dark room. He swung the door open fully, allowing the light to stay in the room with him as he snatched a pitcher of cold water and poured it into the nearest glass he could reach. He wasn't sure why he felt the need to light up the dark room that night, especially since he had always felt comfortable in the darkness. It didn't frighten him like it did most people.

Setting the pitcher of water down, Roxas reached for the glass and brought it to his lips, tipping his head back and letting the cool liquid pour into his mouth, bringing him to his senses. He downed the glass of water in one gulp, placing it in the sink carefully before grabbing the pitcher and setting it back in the refrigerator again. He let the door close reluctantly, the discomfort of the black room returning and making it seem as if the trip for the glass of water was superfluous.

Roxas made his way back upstairs, his eyes darting around the hallway neurotically, but finding no one there. Figuring his paranoia was a result of little sleep and the dead silence that rang throughout the house (he couldn't even hear his father snoring a few rooms away), he pushed the door to his bedroom open and entered.

It wasn't until he had closed the door behind him that he noticed a dark figure sitting at the foot of his bed. His heart skipped a beat, and he found himself frozen, so startled that the instinct to scream or cry out was strangled. Only the cascading light from the moon filtering through his window illuminated the shadowy figure. The blonde boy would have grabbed the baseball bat he kept next to his closet door had he not recognized the figure's scarlet hair. Roxas blinked his eyes slowly, his mouth hanging open in pure shock. The figure turned his head toward the blonde boy, a wry smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"A-Axel?" Roxas stammered quietly, his eyes wide with surprise and something like fright. He didn't know whether to run or stay where he was. Not that it mattered; he'd lost the ability to move his legs.

"R-Roxas?" the boy sitting on the bed replied, mocking Roxas's frightened voice. He chuckled to himself, amused. "Surprised to see me?"

It took a few moments for Roxas to get over the shock of finding the older boy sitting on his bed at this hour of the night. How was this possible? How had he snuck in without Roxas knowing? At least, Roxas thought, this explained the reason he felt like someone had been watching him, which, in all truth, was not a very comforting thought. It was creepy, but Roxas went with it anyway. Axel had been his best friend after all. Roxas found himself laughing inwardly. The term 'best friend' just didn't seem to fit. Either it was an understatement, or he was using it far too loosely.

"What's the matter with you?" inquired Axel, tilting his head.

Roxas shook his head. "Nothing," he lied.

Axel rolled his eyes as he folded his arms tightly across his chest, standing up and moving toward Roxas's bedroom window. He looked much paler and skinnier than usual, but Roxas figured that was just the way he seemed to hide in the shadows. He also was reminded just how tall Axel was, standing at least four or five inches above him. The redhead was merely a year older than the shorter boy, but looked and acted as mature as a twenty-year old. Well, most of the time anyhow.

For a while Roxas merely observed Axel, who did nothing but stare out of the window at the dark night sky. Roxas noticed that there weren't even any stars out that night, which made the moon seem brighter than it really was.

"What's with the coat?" said Roxas in an attempt to rid the two of the awkward silence that had fallen between them. He motioned toward the long black coat Axel was sporting. Axel broke his gaze from the sky to glance down at it, shrugging.

"I don't know, exactly," he replied, running a finger along the zipper than ran down the coat from top to bottom. "I'm surprised you're more interested in what I'm wearing than why I'm actually here. You're not checking me out, are you?" He quirked an eyebrow at the younger boy, who was now shaking his head furiously.

"Of course I'm not, asshole," Roxas shot defensively. Axel returned the insult with a laugh.

"I was just kidding around. You were always so insecure about yourself."

"Yeah? And you were always a prick."

Axel laughed some more, shifting his weight so that he now leaned with his back against the window, darkening the room with his shadow. His motions seemed so fluid and graceful that for a second, Roxas almost believed Axel really was just a shadow in the room.

"It's a wonder how we get along, isn't it?" Axel said with a smile.

"Like hell it is," Roxas agreed, feeling his muscles finally relax. "Sorry, I'm still getting used to the fact that you somehow snuck into my room. You, of all people…"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Axel snapped, his shoulders hunching over broodingly. "Am I not allowed to sneak into your room anymore?"

"You never were in the first place. Especially not now, considering—"

"Considering what?" Axel pressed loudly, his emerald eyes piercing into Roxas's blue ones, giving the younger boy goose bumps.

"Now who's being defensive?" said the blonde boy plainly, making his way over to his bed and taking a seat on it, never once tearing his gaze from the older boy. "So, why are you here this time, Axel?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Axel replied, breaking his eye contact with Roxas to instead focus on fidgeting with the sleeves of his coat. "The truth is, I really don't know why I'm here. I thought you might be able to help me with that."

"Wait, you don't what?" repeated Roxas, slightly dumbstruck. As if Axel randomly appearing in his room hadn't been confusing enough, it didn't seem like he was going to get a reason for the sudden intrusion. He stared at the other boy, who was too busy messing with his sleeves to notice. Roxas found himself glaring at him. "You barge into my room while I'm sleeping and you won't even tell me why?"

"I told you I didn't know why," snapped the redhead, raising his voice in frustration. Roxas noticed how his brows furrowed and heard the low growl that escaped his lips. The blonde boy rolled his eyes, exasperated with the fact that Axel still had not grown out of his temperamental self.

"Can I ever have a conversation with you without you getting so fucking impatient with me?" he replied, watching the flicker of rage growing slowly in Axel's eyes. He always had been one who was easily angered.

"You'd be pretty damned impatient if you were in my position, too, Shorty," Axel shot, glaring daggers at the confused blonde.

"And what exactly is that position, Axel?" snapped Roxas, returning the glare defiantly. "And can you please keep your damned voice down? I don't want my entire family thinking I'm talking to myself!"

"Well, that's what you're doing, aren't you?" said Axel calmly, albeit somewhat accusingly. He made his way over to his friend, taking a seat next to him. Roxas noticed how the bed barely shifted with Axel's added weight. "I mean, I'm just a soul and a body aren't I? Do I really count as a person?"

Roxas stared at the taller boy quizzically. "What are you talking about?"

Axel shut his eyes for a brief moment, letting out a small sigh. When he reopened them, Roxas noticed they were glassy, and that the expression on Axel's face was one of regret, guilt, and pain – emotions Roxas never knew the redhead was capable of feeling.

"Well," Axel started, turning to look straight at Roxas unblinkingly, "I am dead, aren't I?"

Roxas felt his breath catch in his throat as realization set back in, the expression on his face now mirroring Axel's. He felt something stinging in the back of his eyes, and blinked a couple of times in a failed attempt to rid himself of the feeling. It was so surreal; Roxas would have backed away very slowly had he not felt it before. His heart sank into his stomach, and it was a long time until he could find his voice once more.

"You died six months ago."

Axel nodded slowly, focusing his gaze on the floor. "Pretty fucked up world, isn't it?" he said with a hollow laugh. He turned to look at his friend, who was trembling slightly. "You all right?"

"No." Roxas shook his head, closing his eyes. "No, no I'm not. B-But I will be once I wake up…" He chuckled uneasily, bringing a hand up and rubbing the back of his head. "D-Don't worry, I've had this dream before… Thank god, I thought I was going crazy for a second…"

The redhead shifted uncomfortably, bringing one knee up and hugging it to his chest. The air had grown much heavier in the past few moments and neither of them was very fond of the feeling. "I hate to tell you this, kiddo, but you're not dreaming."

"O-Of course I am," Roxas replied with a shaky voice, crawling over to his pillow and proceeding to lie down and pull the covers up to his chin. "You're dead. You're gone. Axel, you died…" The redhead sighed.

"Keep saying it, Roxas. I never get tired of hearing it." Axel shifted his position on the bed once more so that he was lying next to his friend, staring up at the ceiling.

"I…" Roxas wasn't sure what he was trying to say. He was focusing all his concentration on the tears that were threatening to fall. He didn't even know why he was so determined not to let his guard down in front of the older boy. Axel had seen him in much worse shape before. Roxas let out a shaky sigh. "I-I need to go back to sleep."

"All right," said Axel quietly. "Just know that I'll still be here when you wake up. I didn't know this was going to happen when I…" His voice trailed off softly. "Well, you know. This isn't a dream, Roxas, it's fucking real."

Roxas nodded, but still continued to silently cling to the small hope that he actually was dreaming. He'd been haunted by dreams of Axel before, so why should this be any different? "O-Okay, whatever you say."

Another moment of silence fell around the two boys. The moonlight had disappeared, and all that was left was the pitch-black room, Axel's presence, and the sound of Roxas's staggered breathing.

"Axel?" Roxas whispered into the darkness.

"Mm?"

"I need to ask you something while you're still here… It's been b-bothering me since… Well, since—"

"You want to know if I blame you for what happened to me?"

Roxas turned his head toward the other boy, his mind blank, and his expression desperate. Axel turned to meet Roxas's gaze; the look in his eyes was as soothing as the words that next escaped his lips.

"Of course I don't."

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A/N: The pure mystery of it all! Well, how was it? Feedback is greatly appreciated, and I mean greatly, 'cause I live off criticism. Er, of my work that is, not myself personally. Anyway, I'm not sure how often I'll be updating this, but I'll try to make my updates somewhat consistent. I'm determined not to let this one fizzle!