Accidents Will Happen
By Rurouni Star

Summary: Why putting a cute little kid into Ed's care isn't the brightest idea.

Chapter 4:

E. Elric's Home Phone; Day 3 of surveillance.

ringing

phone is picked up

E: Hello?

(Very Handsome) Male: Why hello there, Ed.

E: (sigh) Hello, Hughes.

An adorable, wonderful, perfect little girl laughs in the background.

E: …let me guess.

V.H.M.: Can I talk to my little girl?

E: …here.

sound of phone being switched

V.H.M.: Hello?

Perfect Little Girl: Hi, Daddy! (Isn't her articulation just amazing, and at that age, too!)

V.H.M.: Hi there, pumpkin! Did you have fun last night?

P.L.G.: Yeah! We had the best time, we ate ice cream and popcorn and candy and Uncle Ed told me some really scary ghost stories-

E (from the background): Hey, you promised you wouldn't tell!

P.L.G.: Oops! Sorry, Uncle Ed told me a really happy story about a Princess and a magic comb before I went to bed at two-

E (moaning, from background): Alicia…

P.L.G.: Oh gosh, I mean- I mean, at ten, like you said, Daddy…

E (from background): Oh forget it, I'm already doomed… they're going to find some weird evidence today that says I'm involved in a smuggling ring or something…

V.H.M. (conspiratorially): So, did you find anything out?

P.L.G.: Oh, sorry, Daddy, I forgot! I'll try harder today, though, don't worry!

V.H.M.: That's my girl!

P.L.G.: I gotta go, Daddy, bye!

V.H.M.: Wait, wait, Alicia-

line goes dead

P.L.G.: Yay! Let's go to the candy store again, Uncle Ed!

E (from background): I am doomed…

-----

Hawkeye blinked as she saw Ed drag himself over to his desk.

"Ed?" she asked. "Are you well?"

He groaned and she could've sworn she heard him say something along the lines of 'candy poisoning'.

Shortly, he put his head down onto his desk (on the pile of papers that had once again mysteriously migrated from Mustang's desk) and began to snore.

Hawkeye felt her eyebrows raise.

-----

"So that's… ah…"

"Twenty," Fury advised helpfully.

The little girl's brow furrowed. She smiled happily, though, a moment later. "You forgot the one with the big A, down there!" she said. "So that'd be…"

"Twenty-one," Havoc groaned.

Alicia keened happily, and took the ten dollar bill from his outstretched hand. "This is fun!" she said. "Let's play again!"

Fury smiled nervously. "Well why don't you give Havoc a break for a while, he's got a lot of work to do…"

Havoc glared at him and Fury shut his mouth quickly. "Deal," the other man growled.

-----

"Uncle Ed, Uncle Ed!"

Ed groaned in despair, and felt his stomach begin to protest at the movement.

"Uncle Ed, Uncle Ed!"

He opened his eyes blearily and looked up at the crowing little girl, who barely cleared the edge of his desk.

"Look!" she said proudly.

He did.

And he blinked.

"I took that dollar you gave me and gave it to Hammock and he gave me back… um… this many!" She held up a rather sizable wad of bills that Ed suspected consisted of most of Havoc's paycheck.

Ed coughed, sitting up again, ink smeared on his face. And shortly, he began to laugh uncontrollably.

"Can I buy some candy with this?"

The laughter stopped.

-----