Accidents Will Happen
By Rurouni Star
…would you believe it's an update?
Summary: Roy discovers he's not a bastard all the time. Ed discovers what it feels like to have a concussion.
Chapter 9:
"Ugh…"
Havoc looked up from his (losing) card game at the sound, a strangely pitched groan he'd never heard before.
His cigar dropped from his mouth.
"Not a word," Mustang threatened.
He was, however, much less imposing than normal, owing to the fact that not only was he not wearing his gloves, but he was piggy-backing a somewhat loopy-looking Edward.
There was a silent pause – he and Fury turned their heads as one, watching dazedly as Mustang marched up to his office with a brilliant scowl. There, he paused, Ed's red-sleeved arm hanging limply in front of him.
"…someone open the door," he said finally.
Fury got up slowly – then, without making a sound, he turned the knob and pushed in the door. Mustang walked inside, and he shut it behind him.
There was only one more second of awed quiet before Havoc picked back up his cards and Fury settled in.
However, even as he went to draw a card, Havoc paused one more time.
"…that was weird," he said. "I'm not the only one that thinks that was weird, right?"
Fury shook his head.
-----
"What are you doing here?" Ed asked woozily.
Roy's frown deepened. "It's my office," he said.
Then, with a slight pause – "I know that," Ed said. "But what are you doing here? Where the hell did the restaurant go?"
Roy raised his eyebrows. "You knocked yourself out."
Ed blinked.
"Oh," he said.
Roy rubbed at his face unhappily. This was not how he had planned things. The restaurant thing had gone perfectly fine, but he was supposed to have put Ed (somewhat) at ease and then surprise him with a few questions.
Except, now Ed had gone and screwed everything up.
"Who am I?" he asked patiently.
Ed blinked, looking unfocused. Then – "The bastard colonel?"
Oh. Well, at least they didn't have to worry about any permanent change in Ed's personality.
"And I'm not pretty," Ed grumbled. "You're pretty."
Mustang frowned. Nix that last one. That was not a typical 'Ed' statement.
Ed closed his eyes, slowly. He kept them closed for a moment, then slowly reopened them again, as though confused at his own comment.
"Did I just call you pretty?" he asked, sounding shocked and disgusted.
"Not to butt in," Fury called tentatively from the doorway. "But what happened?"
Roy put his face in his hand. "I broke Ed," he said.
Fury blinked. "Oh," he said.
He shut the door again.
"There's something wrong with me," Ed groaned, turning over on the small couch.
Roy sighed, then grabbed his face and peeled one of his eyelids up. Ed let out a strange kind of squeaking noise he'd never heard from him before.
"Concussion," Roy muttered, aghast. "God damnit."
"Hey," Ed said, pushing at his arm. "Let go."
Roy did so – then twitched as Ed's head hit the armrest.
A somewhat slurred expletive followed.
"You trying to kill me today?" Ed demanded sluggishly.
Roy tapped his fingers on the desk pensively.
A knock on the door interrupted his heavy thoughts.
"Sir?" Fury's voice sounded again, tentative. "There's a woman here who says she has your food. And a phone number."
Well. At least one thing had gone well.
"She asked if I could ask you to give it to Ed."
Roy's eyebrows shot upward – he looked over at the dead-looking figure on the sofa. Ed… giggled.
"I hate to say this…" Roy said slowly. "But I think there is a bigger problem to attend to for the moment."
