There is something odd about being a super-hero… … …th-that is if I can legitimately be called a 'superhero'. I'm not just new to being a 'Titan', I'm new to this whole metaphysical romp across the metropolitan justice system.
When Bard and I came to this Town, we were just trying to do our best to survive. But—I guess—somewhere down the line we became helpless saps and poured in our strengths towards protecting the innocent and stopping the 'wicked'---whatever that entails. It's no lie; he and I have powers. They may not be entirely 'super', but they have blessed/cursed us with enough responsibility to not sit idly by while the world goes to heck in a heckbasket…. …handbasket….
Whatever.
Right now, I am sitting 'idly'. But I like to think I earned it. Do superheroes deserve this sort of thing? I sit on an elevated apartment complex overlooking the graying skyscrapers of downtown in the evening dimness. I am relaxing---or at least trying to relax.
My hands shake as I unscrew a Dr. Pepper bottle and take a huge swig of the caffeine bladder-killer. I swallow, exhale, and lean back from where I'm petitely perched. I breathe easily… …letting time dictate nothing but the gentle drift of the wind.
Am I the only one to get the shakes? The rest of the Titans seem well-to-do after a major skirmish. Even Cyborg with his hand melted off does 'okay' after we're done battling. I suppose he finds comfort in the fact that he has numerous 'spares' lying around in wait. I don't know if that's a thing to envy or feel repulsed at.
And Robin, he's always cool as morning rain. Nothing could phase him. Or else, I can't imagine anything phasing him.
But I know I'm not alone, judging from Starfire and Terra. I can't imagine it being a 'woman' thing, cuz those two girls are umpteen times more versatile than any typical bigot could downplayingly suggest. But Terra seemed about to throw up from the icy punishment the curious 'Fraust' paid her. And Starfire—she's the last person in the world I would imagine being emotionally exhausted from a villainous entanglement. What got her in such a funk? The way she flew off… …the grayness about her usually-pleasant face… …
Heck, even Bard seemed a little less well-to-do after the battle. Like he had seen a ghost. I can only hope my buddy's doing okay. I could really use his guidance in all of this. As if I haven't drained him of all the support he's had to give me so far. I would be nowhere if it weren't for him.
I bite my lip and fight away the jitteriness with another Dr. Pepper flood. I exhale. I stare out as the City starts to match the pinpricking stars popping out one at a time overhead.
I just hope the Titans are okay. They've done so much for us and—truly—they are the last hope that Bard and I have. Well, at least the last hope I have. Bard is such a wonderful shoulder to lean on. But I'm not even sure he can withstand the questions I have to ask. I don't know what he would do if he finally learns the thing I've been holding back.
I have a secret.
I have a secret—and… .. ….I'm too scared to tell these people about it. At least yet. I don't know what they will do with me. I'm afraid that they m-might toss me into the hands of ravenous scientists at S.T.A.R. Labs who will experiment on me and dissect me open. Or I might end up under the wing of dark government agents or aliens or Russian mafia or—or—or….
"…. ….. ….. …." I blink into the vast expanse of the City. Something comes over me. Like a bubbling euphoria/horror from the incubated Dr. Pepper puddles nestled inside of me. I nearly keel over and collapse off the apartment ledge as I hug myself and shake, shake, shake—'Laughing' the best that I can for a little mute moron with no semblance of a voice. My black eyes tear a bit as I smile painfully and run a hand through my frazzled threads.
I worry too much. I really do. So I have a secret. So it's a wyrd one. If the last few days have been of any consolation, I'm around the most trustworthy people in the globe.
I take a deep breath. I absent-mindedly run a hand up and stroke the crescent-moon scar on my throat.
"…. ….. …"
And I am so… …so lucky that I've had Bard's and the Titan's laps to fall into. Maybe they will be the ones to help me get used to this place… …this world….
The outsider that I am… ….
I hug myself to that thought. I take a deep breath. And an even warmer thought faintly floats to mind. And my mind's eye is trained northward, towards the high-end apartments. I bite my lip, think about it, and then eventually smile.
Heck, I'm feeling 'good' this evening after all.
Why shouldn't I?
But things aren't perfect… …yet…..
I have somebody to see… …. …Somebody special…. ….
I stand up and start to murk my body all over for the inevitable cross-city-blur. I empty the Dr. Pepper bottle. I raise it over my head to chuck into the vastness of urbanity—
"… …. …." I pause in mid-launch. "…. … …" I shake my head with a goofy grin and re-grip the Dr. Pepper bottle, no longer preparing to throw it.
What was I thinking? I'm a superhero now! Bad Noir! Bad!
FW-FWOOOOOSH! I smokily streak down the buildingside and rocket my way north on energized feet.
