Robin sits a space away from Static inside the power compartment of the Tower. He folds his gloved arms and sighs before continuing with a hum-drum speech:
"Nearly a year ago, when my teammates discovered I had been playing the part of Red X without telling them, it nearly lost me my place as team leader. I was almost even considering stepping down from this position. It doesn't even matter if I was using the whole tactic as a way to get closer to finding Slade. What matters is that I broke my teammates' trust and made it even worse on myself later when Slade coerced me into 'working' for him."
Static merely nods. "Yeah. I think I remember a thing or two about that in the paper." He gestures. "Slade put deadly nanomachines inside the bloodstream of your teammates to force you to do his bidding—"
"That all happens later," Robin breathily dismisses and sighs on: "What's even worse about my Red X days is that I was so desperate to catch Slade that I experimented in the worst, most unstable technology imaginable to achieve my ends."
"Xenothium," Static murmurs. "I knew that was tough stuff from the start of our pursuit of Chang's 'school'."
"Well, we didn't expect his 'students'," Robin mutters. "Chang and I go way back. He's been.. …. …exceptional in assisting my technological needs. The birdarangs and R-Cycle fuel and sword metal—"
"Sword metal?"
"What? You've never seen me make a katana out of the birdarang 'wings'?"
"…. .. …."
"Ya know.. …That one time we fought Plasmus? Two days after you first joined the team?"
"…. …."
Robin sighs: "Never mind. Anyways, Chang has worked with me a lot in the past. He was someone I could trust the Xenothium secret with. But I was so blindly mistaken… …"
"You're telling me he wasn't always evil?"
"For as far as I'm concerned, evil goes all the way to gene one," Robin's eyemask narrows as he speaks. "He just didn't show his true colors until many months later when I suddenly found my suit stolen and needed to know where the thief may have taken it. You see—we can't always erase the sins of our past, Virgil. Xenothium can only be exhausted through energy distribution. It cannot be destroyed. The only choice I had after the Titans found me out was to seal that Red X suit away in a vault deep beneath the Tower and guard it with the greatest security that Cyborg and I could mutually piece together."
"Why didn't ya.. … ..ya know… …--?"
"What?"
Static smiles nervously: "Just wear the Red-X suit with the 'Robin' eyemask for the next few battles and use up the Xenothium deposits doing something worthwhile? Like takin' it to the criminals' faces!"
"No could do," Robin shakes his head. "There was a lot messing with my head while I used the Red X suit, and it was more than just an obsessive hunt for Slade."
"Ya sure, man?"
Robin momentarily glares. He goes on: "The Red X suit was filled to the brim with Xenothium; more than that which could be operated manually. The only way a suit like that could be operated would have been through—"
"Lemme guess," Static raises a hand and winces the whole time he utters: "A Neurological Sync Plug."
Robin nods. "When I wore that suit, the suit and I were like one body and one mind. It was an extension of myself in every manner of comprehension. And in all honesty, it takes a meditative, rigidly structured mindset to properly fuse with that thing."
"Which would be you, naturally," Static winks.
Robin goes on: "My years of learning from the greatest detective in the world has taught me all about mental composure. I can't say I've been perfect—but when it came to 'piloting' that suit, I used every cognitive technique I knew. For anyone else who hijacks the suit and plans on using it… ..well—"
"You don't have to explain it to me, Robin," Static nods. "You're likely one of the few souls in this world who could possibly fill Red-X's shoes."
"Anyone else would become a slave to the suit," Robin runs a hand through his hair and keeps his voice low. "All she or he would know is an insatiable desire to consume more and more Xenothium—the central power of the suit. And—sure enough—the thief of the Red X suit has exhibited just that. Because of the tech that I left lying around in a vault, a high-stakes robber who otherwise would have had a potential chance at rehabilitation is now caught within the grips of unquenchable Xenothium-thirst. And now, that very same 'X-zombie' is in the merciless hands of my former distributor of evil toys.. …"
"Robin….you can't keep blaming yourself for the avaricious actions of others," Static shrugs. He points with a slight frown: "And you sure as Hell can't keep lurking in the shadows and moping about it!"
"I'm not moping."
"Well…erm…You're in the shadows!"
"…. …I am always in the shadows."
Static sweatdrops. "Eheheh…y-yeah…."
"The power's back on," Robin gestures. "I don't have to delay anymore. I'll do some research, patch a call in to the Jump City Penitentiary, and see if the four metahumans we captured are good for interrogation. Pffft…not like it'll really matter."
Robin starts to walk towards the door when Static blocks him.
"Uh uh uh! Sir, aren't you forgetting another duty that needs being done?"
"Huh?"
"Starfire--!"
"Starfire is more than capable of taking care of herself, now if you'll excuse me—"
Static moves in his way again. "There's no arguing that, dawg! But be real for an instant! Starfire may just be so desperate that she will take care of things herself, alone."
Robin's eyemask narrows. "What do you mean.. …?"
"Call it electric intuition….," Static smirks. "But I get the feeling that Starfire's going to skip town one way or another to take care of that which is worrying her."
"And just what is worrying her?"
"Jeez! You don't listen to much when it ain't singing to your tune, do ya Robin?" Static gestures. "She thinks one of the creeps we battled at Chang's frigate was a Tamaranian! Heck, she's downright sure about it!"
"… ….but that's impossible," Robin murmurs. "Only she and Blackfire have visited Earth. Every other Tamaranian has followed the princess' instruction and fallen back to see to the reconstruction of the planet's royal infrastructure under the rule of Galfore—"
"Well, you tell her that!" Static shakes his head. "Cuz that ain't the way she seems to be seein' it! She's afraid, distraught, exhausted---and, dang it Robin…just go talk to her! It ain't that hard, is it?"
"Why me?" Robin asked in too much of a barking voice for his own good.
Static blinks at him. "Well, I thought…. ..I-I just thought…."
"Thought what?"
"… … … … …never mind," Static sighs. He starts to head towards the automatic doors of the room. "Guess I'm still a rookie after all."
Robin rubs his temples. "Static, I know what you've probably heard coming in here—"
"You so sure, man?"
"But Starfire and I.. ….," Robin turns and folds his arms. A tyred smile crosses his lips. Subtly. "… ….It's nothing like the papers say or the superheroes gossip about."
"And why not, man?"
"I wouldn't expect you to understand."
"Try me."
Robin opens his mouth, pauses, then falls back against the wall with a slump and a sigh: "Things change… …"
"… …yeah, I can dig that," Static nods. "Don't really get it, but I'll dig it."
"That's all I ask."
"Heh…how 'generous' of you," Static says. He turns to leave, but the doors open ahead of him—
SWISSSSH!
And a drunken, rosy-cheeked Raven slumps in and clamors all over Static's chest.
"HIC—Whatt'rrrruuuuthink'rrrrrrdoinnnn THROWIN ME OUT! HIC! I've not even begunnnnn to driiiiink! Ha ha ha—YEEEHA!"
"Do not want—DO NOT WANT" Static tries to disentangle himself from her in a panicky breath.
"Hang on—HANG ON!" Cyborg rushes in, followed by a frantic Terra and Beast Boy. He hoists the reeling Raven off of Static and clears his throat. "Sorry about that, bro. She's kinda sorta not herself right now."
Static straightens his shirt and goggles. "Yeah, I don't think my pants are much what they used to be either!"
"HIC—I've only had ONE GLASS! I reckon that's enough to keep your filthy cows from squirtin' unwanted milk but I'M ROOTIN' FOR A NIGHT ON THE GULCH! Ha ha ha—SOMEONE HOLD MY BOOTS!"
Cyborg quietly ushers the cackling Raven towards the far side of the room.
Robin casually walks up, clears his throat, and glares at Beast Boy and Terra. "… …what did you do?"
"Dude! First thing you see Raven going berserk and you always blame it on me! Twice as much since Trigon bit the dust!"
"I'm serious, Beast Boy," Robin points. "Why is my number one magic-elemental Titan suddenly sounding like Buddy Epsen on Ecstasy?"
Beast Boy and Terra look at each other. They squirm and sweat…
"Well?"
"W-We were…," Terra gulps and smiles cutely. "K-Kinda sorta hoping you could tell us."
-T-T-T-T-T-T-
"I SAID STOP TRYIN' TO THROW ME OUT!" The bearded gold digger fought and wrestled in half-naked hilarity. "I KNOW WHEN I'M INCOMPETENITIVE!" HIC!"
"For the last time…," Virgil hisses and shoves the drunkard out of the front doors of the saloon. "STAY OUT! Ya varmint…."
"Ooof—" THUD! Outside pigs squeal and make sloppy noises as their hooves carry them far away.
Virgil sighs, dusts his hands off, and proceeds to go about cleaning and wiping down the bar of the candle-lit saloon. Nighttime has fallen, covering the faux desert with a twicely-faux purple haze. It feels like a cheap Star Trek set under blacklight. Only by the sheer quantity of dust and leather tanning smells do I feel like this is legitimately something close to a 'Wild West' scenario.
But how the heck did we get here?
Right now, my tall friend Bard—or 'Luke'—is attempting to find out. He sits comfortably between the girlishly squatting figures of 'Kori' and Terra on a set of bar stools. At least, I think he's trying to find some information out.
Yeesh… …I wonder if he gets all that libido from plucking strings…
"The way you showed the Black Robin and El Maquino! That was sooooo braaaaave!"
"Hehehehe! Fancy sharp-shootin', stranger! You reckon you're good with guns of all caliber?"
"Heheh…depends on what kind trigger it is, I suppose," Bard shrugs.
Virgil polishes a glass from across the bar counter and smirks. "Say, stranger. You and your red friend are welcome to stay the night. Free on the house!"
"Well, gee thanks, mister--… …Generic Bartender With Static's Skin."
"Heh, I owe it to you for the way you faced off those no good varmints from earlier. I tell you--!" Virgil moved chairs around and blew a few candles out. "The Black Robin and El Maquino are the terror of this town! They're even worse than them ravaging injuns—No offence, kiddo."
I wave a tyred hand and resume trying to doze off… ….
"Well, where's the sheriff?" Bard asks.
Virgil sighs. "Strung up worse than a horned toad in a…. …. ….with a…. …. …-h-horned toad that hasn't eaten in…. …. …. …horned….toad… .. .. … …. ….ergh….Well, heh, you get the idea."
"Heh…," Bard winks as 'Kori' and Terra cuddle closer on his lap. "Reckon I do."
I make an annoying, grating noise by carving a bone necklace piece into the tabletop.
Bard winces at that, and wisens up with a clearing of the throat. "Do pardon the rudeness, ladies. But the sun's set and it's high time you two had your beauty sleep, don't you think?"
"Awwww…But we want to hear more stories about Luke the Drifter's adventurin'!" Terra bubbles.
A sultry Kori lisps: "And it would be a shame for my bed to be cold tonight."
Bard falls off his stool. WHAM!
"Oh!"
"Oooooh—Mister Luke! Are you all right?"
"F-Forgot for a second there that I only had two legs for standin'," he hobbles up to his feet and dusts his pants off with his cowboy hat. "Ahem. Seriously, ladies. We need to do drifter stuff. Y'all go on up there and rest."
"Okaaaaaaaaaaay."
"But we'll be missssssiiiiiing youuuuu!"
"See ya later cowboyyyyy! Hehehe!"
"Tee hee!"
Virgil shakes his head with a knowing smile. He wanders off to the far side of the saloon, leaving us in the flickering-amber-dark.
Bard gazes up at the stairwell as the two showgirls vanish. Then he settles down besides me at the table. "Okay, so—like—I know this is nothing but some wyrd hallucination that we're both in and not the real deal.. …"
I smile dazedly and nod at him.
What was your first clue?
"But… …I can't help but wonder what it all has got to do with Raven.. …"
I motion a few hand-signs in the air.
Bard makes a wyrd face. "What? How would this all be her way of 'getting back at me'?"
I shrug. I hand-sign some more.
"Last night was nothing! We just—ya know—tossed a couch or two and caused the power in the Tower to go out…eh heh heh," Bard sweatdrops. He lets loose a cough and adds: "Besides, Raven's above this. There's got to be something incidental here. And something tells me it has a lot to do with me, ya know?"
I point at him.
"Yup. I mean, I know about the story of Luke the Drifter. Raven doesn't—Or at least, I can't imagine that underneath all that blue velvet and gothy skin there's a Calamity Jane!"
I can't help it. I snicker breathily at that.
"Ah! There! You see?" He smirks and points at my face. "Even you can enjoy this wyrdness too!"
I roll my eyes.
"Seriously, if all we're going to run into is chaos, then we'd might as well make the best of it. Though, I reckon there's a point to all of this, and we can't just take it all like some game. None of the other Titans seem to be recognizing us, but if we can find Raven, I bet that would clear things up a smidgeon."
"Oh? Raven?" Virgil calls out from the stagefront. "You don't mean Lady Raven?"
I do a double-take.
So does Bard: "You know where we can find her?"
"Pffft—Fat chance any strange roamin' folk like yourselves can pay her a visit!" Virgil laughs. "I don't care how schmancy and heroic y'all are!"
Bard hops up to his feet. "Show us where she is and I'll tell you where in Kansas to dig for oil wells!"
Virgil makes the face. "What in the Sam-Hill is an 'oil well'?"
"Trust me. It'll be a good thing!"
"… … …well alright," Virgil casts us a strange eye. "As long as it'll get yer strange faces out of my saloon for a spite."
"Hey.. …," Bard half-bows. "What do roamers do?" He glares aside at me and kicks me in the ankle.
I sigh. I apathetically wave a tomahawk over my head.
And as if I had just summoned an entire army of savages, a tumult of whoops and cries and gunfire echo from outside the saloon. We all hear screams and yelps as an aura of flame surrounds the Western Town to the low rumbling bass of horses' hooves.
"What in tarnation---?" Bard starts before he can stop himself.
"INJUNS!" Virgil yelps and hides behind the counter.
"Injuns! Injuns!" we hear feminine exclamations howl from above.
I flinch helplessly.
"… …oh right," Bard scratches his head and glances at an invisible watch that isn't there. "I suppose it is time for a second act."
I take a deep breath, motion with my hand, and dash out the saloon doors.
He nods and twirls his pistol while pursuing. "Right after you, Little Squirrel!"
Dang it!
