The arcade was just behind the stage where the beauty pageant was going on. There was a huge screen hanging down from the ceiling that showed the events for people too far away to get a good look. I'd glanced up at it every once in a while, but after about the third girl in a row that came out with a one-piece for the swimsuit competition, I'd lost interest.

Instead, I'd found a worthy Superhero Smackdown opponent. I'd played the arcade game in dozens of cities across the country. I took everyone I played straight to the woodshed. And while I'd won the first match, I think I caught this opponent by surprise. She was good.

I never imagined my toughest opponent would be a short, black-haired Goth girl with black fingernails and an eye patch. But here she was, along with her very on entourage.

I wish I had an entourage.

"Since we're playing for something so important...cancer sticks." I suggested. "How 'bout we make this a bit more interesting?"

Lisa, my challenger, folded her arms across her chest.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Yeah!" One part of her all-female entourage winked at me outrageously. "What did you have in mind?"

I wish I had an all-female entourage.

"Hope!" Lisa yelled. "Shut up!"

"Eep!"

Lisa looked back at me.

"That's not fair, cowpoke."

"How isn't it fair?" I smirked. "Don't tell me you're one of those gamer hacks who are only godly with two or three characters..."

"I'm godly with everybody!"

"Then you shouldn't care, right?"

Lisa looked at her entourage.

"Dude's kinda got ya there." Tiffany said.

Lisa sniffed.

"Fine. Let's do this."

"All righty." I rubbed my hands together. "Since you're the lady, I'll let you pick my characters first. I suggest Jonah Hex. I suck with him."

"Pffft. Yeah, right." Lisa looked over the screen. She took my joystick and moved the cursor around the character select.

Superman...I could work with that.

Green Lantern...He was pretty good.

Jessie Quick...Not my first choice, but not horrible.

Lisa moved the cursor one more time and clicked the button.

I stared.

"Aqualad? Frickin' Aqualad?"

Tiffany swooned.

"Aqualad...!"

I was disgusted, but Lisa was already moving to pick my second character. I didn't even look this time until-

"And Pantha!" Lisa crowed.

I nearly fainted.

"Pantha! That's the slowest person in the whole cotton-pickin' game!"

"You're the one that said it was fair." Lisa pointed out. "Now are you gonna pick my characters are you gonna let me do it?"

That brought me out of it.

"Psssh. Fat chance."

Instead of looking at the screen, I examined Lisa instead. She wore tight, black leather flares and a black t-shirt that had some kind of red symbol on it I didn't recognize. He hair was plain and straight. The eye patch on her stoic face. I saw her pale white skin and her black fingernails. I looked up and picked Stargirl for her.

"Hey, she's pretty good!" Tiffany said.

I picked her second character-

"Oooh!" Janice squealed. "Starfire!"

I looked at her funny.

"What? A lot of people like Starfire!"

"Yeah...but they're mostly cocks, not hens."

Janice's eyes widened.

"Did you just say c-"

"AHEM!" I looked at Lisa. "Like your characters? Stargirl is pretty good and Starfire's one of the best in the game."

Lisa glared at me.

"...I hate you."

Success! I'd read her just right. Stargirl and Starfire were good characters...but Lisa hated them. She probably avoided them like the plague.

"Heheheh! Let's do this!"

We took up our positions. Lisa's entourage and a few other spectators that had grown bored with the pageant gathered around us. Pixelied Pantha stomped on the screen.

"I will crush you!"

I winced at how slow she moved.

Pixelized Starfire swooped in from the other side.

"I hope we can be friends!"

Lisa shuddered.

"Fight!"

With Pantha being so slow, I did the turtle strategy folks hate oh so much. I moved as far away as possible and blocked.

Lisa used Starfire to throw a star bolt.

Pantha jumped it.

Starfire through another star bolt.

Pantha jumped it again.

Finally, Lisa lost her patiences. Starfire charged and jumped in.

Exactly what I'd been waiting for. My fingers danced across the buttons.

"Whoa!" Someone marveled behind me. "A thirty three hit air combo with Pantha! Unreal!"

Starfire ragdolled off the side of the screen and in jumped Stargirl. I went for a throw attack with Pantha, but Stargirl counterattacker with a beam special. On fire, Pantha disappeared to my side of the screen and out hopped Aqualad with his hair fluttering.

Hope sighed lustily behind us.

The battle went back and forth was we controlled the unfamiliar characters. Finally, both of us were down to low health. One good hit would kill the other. I put it all on the line and tried to a double special. Pantha and Aqualad charged across the screen in a flurry of claws and water. Just before the attack landed.

"TAKE THIS!"

Lisa did a double special of her own. Starfire jumped out to join Stargirl and they released a giant beam.

BOOOMMMMMMM!

"KO! Stargirl and Starfire WIN!"

The crowd around us clapped. I even got a few slaps on the back.

"Hah!" Lisa pointed a finger in my face. "Cough'em up, loser!"

I muttered under my breath. I reluctantly reached into my jeans pocket and slapped a crumpled pack of cigarettes into her hand.

"I'm gonna want a rematch."

"Better bring more quarters and smokes then, cowpoke. Go ride off into a sunset or something." Lisa and her giggling entourage walked away.

I fumed for a little while, but then my face brightened. I took off my hat, reached into the headband and brought out my emergency pack of cigarettes.

"Hehehehe...!"

The big screen hanging from the ceiling that was showing the pageant suddenly changed. I looked up at it and saw a red-headed man with a sharp nose and misaligned teeth. The screen flashed and for a moment he looked much older.

"Ello, duckies!"