Back in the arcade, I put my arm around Lisa's shoulders like she was my best friend in the whole wide word.
"I got a proposition for ya, darlin'."
Lisa shuddered from the human contact.
"If you're asking me out on a date, the answer is no."
"I'm not asking you on a-" I stopped. I blinked. "The answer would be no?"
Janice, Tiffany and Hope all giggled at that as Lisa smirked. Talking to women was tough with an audience. Especially when the foresaid audience was filled with estrogen. I coughed and regained my composure.
"Ahem...anyway. This proposition might even make you a honorary Titan or something."
Lisa glanced up at me.
"...I'm listening."
"I bet you are." My eyes narrowed. "...You'd really say no?"
"Bard! What. Do. You. Want?" She stressed every word with a hiss.
I cleared my throat.
"You noticed that British fella...Mad Max?"
"Mod."
"Right-o. Mad Mod. He's threatened to take over the beauty pageant finals next week."
Lisa folded her arms across her chest.
"What does this have to do with me?"
"Well, ya see, a few of the ladies have dropped out of the pageant. Might be dangerous and all, ya see. But with them dropping out...that's gonna leave some spaces that need to be filled..."
Lisa cut her eye at me.
"...Why am I suddenly cold?"
"All I want you to do is enter the contest yourself. Go undercover and whatnot. See if you can find out anything."
"No."
"C'mon! It'll be a cake walk! You'll have fun!"
"..."
"I'll buy ya the purdiest dress on God's green earth with my own personal money. I'll be at your beck and call for any and everything you need."
"..."
I wasn't swaying her. I turned to Tiffany, Hope and Janice for help.
"Help me out, girls. Don't ya'll think it'd be fun to gussy Lisa here all up? Do her make-up and hair and...whatever else it is women do to each other."
Janice giggled.
I looked at her. I pointed.
"Contain yourself, girl."
"...heh. Yes, sir."
I could see the wheels in Hope's head turning.
"It would be kinda fun." She said to Lisa. "It'd beat hanging out in the arcade all day, anyway."
Lisa looked down at her feet.
"...I like hanging out in the arcade." She mumbled.
I decided to try a different approach.
"What's the matter?" I smirked. "Don't think you're pretty enough?"
I was trying to get her competitive juices going. I tried to injure her pride just a bit so she'd jump up to prove me wrong. I was ready for a yell. Instead, I got a-
"..."
Tarnation! She really did think she wasn't pretty enough. I was going to set that straight real quick. With a inconspicuous gesture, I told the other girls to back up a bit.
"Listen to me, girl and listen good." My voice was low as I leaned down next to her ear. "You're at least as pretty as any of those girls, ya hear?"
"I'm a freak." Lisa whispered.
I didn't know whether to hug her or strangle her.
"The hell you are!" I said a little louder than I meant to. "You're unique. How many blue-eyed, blonde-headed girls have you seen in your life?"
"...A lot."
"Damn straight. Half the contestants are just that. Once you seen one of'em, you've seen'em all. You're not only beautiful, but you're real. You're interesting. Your face tells a story everyone wants to hear." I took a deep breath. "Look. If you don't want to do this, I understand. I certainly won't hold it against you...until my Superhero Smackdown rematch that is...but don't you dare...don't you dare say no because you don't think you're purdy enough. Ya hear?"
Lisa looked at me. For the first time, I got an up close look at her. I assumed all she saw when she looked in the mirror was that eye patch. I saw so much more than that and imagined anyone would. She wore not an ounce of make-up. Her lips were small and soft. A cute nose with one or two barely visible freckles. A high brow and a regal chin. Delicate eyebrows. Dull eyes I knew could sparkle.
I waited for an answer.
She took in a deep breath.
"All right. I'll do it."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, yeah."
I grinned.
"Hehehe. That's my girl!"
Lisa looked at me sourly.
"How come I can't say no to you?" She grumbled.
"...Could it be my rugged good looks and sexy ways?"
"Huh...I doubt it."
I pratfalled.
"One more thing." I added. "When they ask you the question 'What would you want more than anything else in the world'...don't you even think about saying world peace."
Lisa stared at me.
"What am I supposed to say?"
"Lordy, I dunno." My brow furrowed. "Say...um...you'd get everyone in the world a puppy so everyone can feel the unwavering love you feel for them...or something."
"There's no way in hell I'm saying that."
I couldn't help it: I fell over, giggling my fool head off.
