Chapter 14

Breath

By EvilBunny

AUTHOR'S NOTE: February 11, 2006 –Editing continues

Warm breath fanned across his cheek in a tantalizing wave and Heero froze. Although his body calmly kept up the sham of deep, uninterrupted sleep, his mind ceased all activity and seemed aware of only one thing.

He'd known the moment she'd awoken, had been waiting for her consciousness while she'd whimpered in her dreams. If she hadn't finally swum her own way out of whatever nightmare had gripped her, he'd been two thoughts away from dragging her out of her unhealthy sleep himself.

But with a last hitch in her throat she'd opened her eyes to reality and he'd finally shut his own. Feigning sleep seemed the best option, and conveniently kept him from having to explain himself to her. Not that he had to explain himself. Obviously it wasn't safe for her to be out on her own and perfectly natural for him to have followed her. She knew the world was a dangerous place without him having to tell her. There didn't need to be any other reason than that.

Still he'd kept still. He'd known she'd see him on her way back to the cabin, known she'd stop for a moment. He'd watched her discover him from lowered lids that gave every impression of a restful slumber and revealed nothing. He'd expected her to either wake him, or to continue her path. Either worked.

He hadn't expected the speculative gleam that appeared in her eye when a twig snapped beneath her incautious foot and he'd remained still.

He certainly hadn't expected her to fall to her knees beside him. She'd fallen and he hadn't caught her, but keeping up the pretense of sleep had suddenly become terribly important. It was a test of wills, and in that game he always won. He'd already made one misjudgment in maintaining too perfect a façade of unacknowledgement. He hadn't guessed how well she already knew him. He couldn't afford to let her gain any more ground.

But the breath that suddenly curled along his face and wrapped itself delicately around his neck had become the focus, erasing all those previous thoughts. He allowed his eyes to drift shut that final bit, so that not even a flicker would give him away and let himself lose himself in the sensation. She was so close.

Heero couldn't have moved now even if he'd wanted to, and he wasn't about to even try until he found out what she was about to do next.

He could tell exactly where she was. Could envision the way her wings sprang up about them, creating a pocket of shifting shadows under the already shaded tree. He could feel the almost brush of her skin when she shifted, could even envision the confused look on her face at his continued unresponsiveness.

Heero barely suppressed a smile as she peered closer, her nose almost touching him. She must be at a complete loss, hovering just near him, searching for any sign, convinced of his awareness of unable to discover any proof. He tried to concentrate on his own breathing, keeping it even and fighting the urge to open his eyes suddenly and startle her, pretend to wake up. Still, sleep was best. She'd give up soon.

It was with relief spiced with disappointment that he finally felt her slowly withdraw. The ordeal was almost over, and he waited for her to finally stand up and move on.

The kiss came completely unexpected. Soft and swift and so sudden that he wasn't even sure what had happened until she was already on her feet and moving away. A taste of lips that was stolen almost guiltily wiped all thought of sleep pretension from his mind and crystallized a hereto unknown idea.

He moved to stop her retreat almost without thought, locking his hand around her small wrist in an unshakable hold. The skin was soft and warm, the veins just under the surface filled with life. She'd frozen the moment he'd take hold of her and now seemed to hope that immobility would hide her despite evidence of her detection.

Still she wouldn't turn around. He had to see her, and her name came out more as a growl and a demand than a word. All this time she'd been a mystery, the embodiment of an enigma he couldn't seem to deal with properly. She'd confounded all his responses, seeming to work within rules of her own. But now he knew exactly what to do with her, and it suddenly had precious little to do with protection.

Her pulse beat in his hand like a captured bird whose heart might burst from fear as she turned slowing towards him, pivoting reluctantly.

The pale morning light glinted off each gold hair, dancing over the night's snarls, artlessly disheveled, showing the pink blush that had begun to rise across her face as her eyes held a guilty, questioning gaze.

He was on his feet before she'd stopped moving. All he could think of was that slight brush of breath, of skin, of feathers on a drive that had never seemed to end and that blank look of non-recognition that had nearly stopped his heart.

She was his. He could have killed her, should have killed her, couldn't kill her. She was the reason he was here in the woods, for no purpose but making sure she wasn't attacked or driven mad or alone. In two days she'd become his reason. And maybe this was why.

Heero kissed her. He claimed her with one hand still firmly wrapped around her wrist and the other coming to brush lightly along her cheek, the skin warm just this side of hot under his fingers.

God she was beauty and tasted like…like…there was nothing to compare her to. Nothing in his regimented life gave him any words to describe the sensation. When she let out a small noise and wrapped her arms around him, Heero let out a groan and gathered her closer giving into the desire he hadn't even known was there.

She filled the whole world and he buried his hands in that glorious hair, searching to hear that noise from her again. She'd scream his name by the end, and all up and down his arms her feathers hovered, still tempting, still teasing.

He'd long ago released her wrist, and now reached around her, dragging her to him and starling a gasp from her. Every breathy noise she made just seemed to drive him further and she felt so perfect against him, every touch acting as fuel.

The base of her spine held just a trickle of scars, small roughness against his trained hands amidst satin. He was going to trace each one, follow and memorize their paths until she begged him.

The skin at the source of her wings held just a hint of down, of a softness not found in humans. He felt Relena stiffen just a bit and with no more warning than that everything shattered at the sudden, raw scream that tore through her throat.

The scream wasn't in terror or fear and nothing resembling what he was now confident he could coax from her. This was raw pain, the type that brought everything else down to insignificance and the very sound he'd hoped to protect her from.

Heero nearly dropped her in surprise, releasing her abruptly to try to stop whatever damage he'd done. But the moment his support left her she seemed to crumple and he had to catch her, careful of her wings, holding her up while maintaining defense and scanning the clearing for enemies.

The forest still stood deserted, nothing hinting at the cause of the pain that now seemed to pour out of Relena. He hadn't thought himself so far gone that he wouldn't have noticed a hostile approach, no matter how stealthy. That ever wakeful, ever watchful part of his mind that had been drilled into him so long ago had kept an awareness of the situation, even when he had thought himself consumed, and it reported nothing more out of the ordinary than a few scudding clouds.

The area secured, Heero returned his attention to Relena calling her name softly, looking for any type of response.

Wherever she was, it wasn't with him in the clearing nor did it seem to be the same psychological damage he'd already encountered. Her eyes under their lids were blank and staring, no focus anywhere in her face but on the sounds that ripped from her as every muscle seemed locked and straining and her skin almost burning to the touch.

There wasn't any blood, no wound, her fingers were clenched around his arm in bruising clarity. There were no clues to what was wrong, nothing he could fix. He had to get her to help and soon.

The nearest hospital was miles way, and he knew he couldn't just show up with her in an emergency room. There were too many risks there, and no one would know how to help her. He'd formed four plans and rejected them just as quickly as he gathered her up to head back to the van or at least to the house when the sound abruptly stopped and Relena went limp.

The sudden dead weight was more frightening than any sound and for a moment Heero froze, Relena draped across his arms, her hair tangled about her wings and his hands. Then with a convulsive twist her whole body started to tremor.

Any thought of calling for aid and then waiting at the cabin was now instantly discarded as Heero began a steady jog out of the forest.

She was shaking like a leaf, her breath seeming to rasp in her throat. The path between the trees now continued indefinitely, winding unnecessarily. He counted each of her breaths as he ran, each one proving that she was still there, that it wasn't too late.

This wasn't a face of death he knew. He was meant to protect by killing, to act as a weapon. Soldiers fell in battle, but it was a choice. If you weren't fast enough you didn't survive, and the most you could do was help staunch the blood and move on. They didn't just suddenly fall for no reason and you didn't irrationally wish that you could stop running just for a moment to listen to their heartbeat when you could already tell they breathed. You didn't care so much that you could barely think of the best thing to do. This wasn't how it worked.

There! The van. He had her inside and buckled severely without missing a step and he had the emergency phone out of the glove compartment and dialed before he'd gotten over to his door.

The three minutes (28 rasping breaths and one whimper that had left his hand white knuckled around the steering wheel) that it took for Noin to finally be connected saw the van down the driveway and already speeding down the road. There weren't any code words for this, no small phrases with predetermined meanings that he could utter and know that everything would be provided. He needed to talk to someone who would grasp the situation, but everything moved so slowly…

"Noin here." The calm voice, crisply efficient, brought him back to his reality and returned him to the military calm that had never before deserted him, though for once it felt only skin deep.

"We need a helicopter and a medical team at once. Relena is in some type of seizure and needs immediate hospitalization." Giving the orders seemed to ground him. Remain calm, think logically and be clear. It's what he had always done. There was no reason why this had to be any different.

"Of course." Came the reply. Concern coloured Noin's voice even through the military detachment and over the phone. "We'll have it sent to the cabin immediately and I'll make the necessary arrangements."

"Too far. We'll meet you at the seventy-six marker crossing. There's a field." That would cut the helicopter flight time nearly in half, would avoid the mountain range and was much better than waiting while Relena continued to shake herself to pieces beside him. Already she twitched so hard that he worried she'd break free from the seatbelt he'd buckled over her arms to keep her in place.

"That's nearly forty miles from your position. Are you sure you can get there?"

"Yes."

Whatever protest Noin would have made was cut off as Heero quickly turned off the phone and stuffed it down beside him. The beautiful morning light now provided him with a clear view of the road, and he pushed the speed even further.

Again Relena's wings danced about them in an ever accelerating car and again he didn't dare take a glance at his passenger though his attention focused on her completely. Now though he didn't look because he knew it couldn't do any good, that once he started glancing towards her it wouldn't be long until her wanted stop the van just to make sure she was alright. There simply wasn't time.

Even under the noise of the engine and the gravel he counted her breaths, which had reached a rapid and shallow pace that worried him as much as the still increasingly violent shaking, the numbers a background reassurance.

He should have seen this coming. That was the thought that now bounced itself around him as he drove to the rendezvous. He should have seen signs of this attack before it had struck, should have acted to prevent it. He should have noticed her lack of balance, that here skin had felt too hot because it was too hot. If he hadn't been pretending to sleep he could have noticed her stumble, could have gotten her on the way to help before it'd gotten this bad.

Perhaps she'd been trying to wake him up to tell him something was wrong. Nothing ever struck without some warning, and he never missed the warnings. NEVER. He'd let his attention waver from his duty and this was the result.

He should never have acted on that impulse, he should have ignored her breath curling aground him and surely then he would have known. He should never have let her distract him from her protection.

The forest sped by and when the gravel ended he pushed the speed yet again. He'd get to the helicopter, it wasn't a question with Relena's unconscious tremors beside him, but slowly he tried to bring his attention back to the road. Getting her to help was important, nothing else was.

Finally the crossroads came into view. Heero drove straight into the field, skidding to a stop and flung open his door to stand scanning the sky. He'd made the trip even faster than he'd expected. He should have chosen a different site, gotten them even closer.

But there, coming over the trees was a small speck headed towards them. From that distance, they wouldn't be here for over five minutes, but he headed around the van anyway. He couldn't leave her strapped down any longer. If she came to, and felt imprisoned…he wouldn't risk it.

Her skin still held the feverish heat, and her whole body still shook in an almost constant motion. He held her down lightly, barely touching her. He focused all his attention on the approaching helicopter. He would stay clear-headed and efficient. He had to.

He didn't think of anything but plans for the next few minutes, judging the slowly closing distance, waiting for when he could pick her up and get her to the waiting team without having to stand just waiting.

When the 'copter finally began its descent Heero bundled her in his arms, and walked forwards, her wings whipping around them both.

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The hospital was a conveniently situated and orderly facility, well-used to military presence. Still, Relena's arrival brought more upheaval and speculation than Heero had wanted.

Her stretcher seemed surrounded with more of a clinical force than strictly necessary and Heero quietly installed himself in the far corner of the room. He leaned himself up against the off-white walls where he could observe them all.

They'd tried to get him to leave early on, even suggesting he follow the helicopter in the van when he'd reluctantly handed her over. He'd ignored them then, just as he ignored the occasional request now. The voice that said he just didn't want to let her out of his sight was firmly ignored, and even argued into submission. There was no way he was leaving Relena alone with people of the very profession that haunted her. Nor was he entirely convinced they could take care of security, and he wasn't about to let them do anything more than necessary to her. He wasn't letting them carry her into surgery without her permission if it wasn't life threatening. The reason didn't have to be anything more complicated than that.

So he watched the blood tests and the oxygen mask, the muttering over charts and print outs, the surreptitious glances at her wings, and even held his tongue when they hooked her up to an IV. Slowly her shaking started to stop and a more peaceful expression began to surface.

Whenever a doctor or aid seemed to get too curious about her back, or started to discuss more tests to find out just how the scientists had achieved such and such effect, a more concentrated glare quickly sent them back on track. The frantic-paced bustle of their arrival started to ebb and the seeming masses of people began to trickle off.

Any chance of keeping her existence a secret had been blown, regardless of strict requests for discretion but at least they were in a secluded area of the building, and they should be long gone before any press caught wind of more than the barest rumour.

They'd saved her though. The moment the blood test had come back the problem had been obvious. She had traces of a staggering number of drugs, several illegal, and had been going through the signs of severe and abrupt withdrawal. Her body hadn't been able to withstand the sudden cessation of whatever treatment she'd been forced into.

Those bastards who'd done this to her evidently hadn't been content with merely the transformation itself. Evidently the drugs in her were to force continued growth, hormones pumping through her to enhance the wings and feathers, at whatever cost.

No wonder her back still bore fresh scars, the wings had never been allowed to stop growing. They'd probably drugged everything she'd touched since they'd first taken her: food, water, anything. It wouldn't have mattered if she refused the pills; they'd given her the drugs without her ever knowing. Probably the only thing she'd been able to avoid were the pain killers and sedation.

Heero fought down the anger that still simmered in him from the news and followed the last doctor out the door. He needed to discuss security and find Noin to give his report and make sure all of the doctors knew this was classified.

He hated to leave her, but he couldn't explain to his superiors why he needed to stay by her side when there was no perceivable threat and she was no longer in danger, not if he was to retain any semblance of professionalism. He would be barely down the hall, in sight of the only door, and would just have to hope she didn't wake up before he got back. The doctors said she could sleep for over twelve hours, surely she could wait half an hour for him to find his way back to her.