VROOM!
The denim villain rocketed through the forest, trees blurring by on either side.
VROOM!
I followed after him, maybe twenty yards behind.
I heard Michael's engine whine and I knew he'd hit the highest gear. He zoomed past trees at breakneck speeds. I did the same, getting as much speed out of my Harley as possible. He was not getting away. I focused on him and nothing else.
SCCCREEETCHH!
He suddenly slammed on brakes, throwing dirt high into the air, and turned away at a ninety degree angle just as we came up on a giant tree that had to have been hundreds of years old. He throttled off, cackling.
My eyes wide, I hit my own brakes, but my bike was a lot heavier than his and, thus, couldn't stop as fast.
SC-SC-SC-SCRRETCH!
Holding my breath, I bunny hopped the back tire and leaned forward as far as I could. I rode on the front tire only almost totally vertical and threw my weight hard to the side. The bike spun on the axis of the front wheel, turning me around. I knew the tree was behind me now somewhere but-
THUMP!
My airborne back tire hit the tree. I reopened my eyes and found myself balancing vertical on it. I hit the gas, drove down the tree until both wheels were back on the ground.
VROOM!
The chase was on again. I heard a splash ahead of me and, a moment later, saw a shallow brook with Michael driving up it like a path.
SPLASH!
I landed in the brook and throttled after him. He looked back at me, shaking his head. His hand flashed blue and, instead of the pistol I was expecting...it was a blow torch.
I frowned.
PHOOSH!
He held the flame over the water. Almost immediately, a thick fog of steam rose up. I squinted ahead, trying to see. I abruptly emerged from the fog, only to see Michael was gone...and a bridge just ahead.
"!"
I had no where to go. Saying a quick prayer, I slammed the brakes, turned my Harley sideways and leaned as hard as I could away from the bridge. In a high spray of water, I slid safely under the bridge. But the brook turned then and my tires hit the bank sideways. My motorcycle was sent into a barrel roll while I clung on for dear life. The Harley hit the ground sideways, threw me off and tumbled to an idling stop. I took a moment to make sure I had all my limbs and, that confirmed, I punched the moist ground hard with my fist.
This guy was starting to piss me off!
I stomped over to my Harley and picked it up. I mounted it and, in my rage, hit the gas a little harder than I should. Huge clumps of earth flew up before I got traction and rocketed again into the forest.
I was tired of chasing him from behind. Instead, I was going to cut him off at the pass. And I did.
We saw each other just as we were entering a clearing surrounded by fallen trees that were held up by their brethren. We snarled and hit the gas.
VROOOM!
Simultaneously, we threw out bikes into wheelies and rode up a diagonal, fallen tree opposite each other. We flew at each other airborne, our teeth grit and our eyes blazing. I pulled out my laser pistol. He pulled out his magnum. At the peak of our jump, side by side-
ZAP!
BLAM!
My hat went flying, a bullet shredding through it's very top. We passed each other and landed hard, bouncing. We hit the gas, turned and faced each other, out bikes' motors idling like beasts waiting to be unleashed.
He glared at me.
I glared right back.
"..."
"..."
PHWOOSH!
His jean jacket exploded into flames from my laser shot that must have just snubbed it. In a flurry, he ripped it off and flung it to the ground. We watched as the denim roasted.
"Urgghhh...!" Michael shook. "You'l pay for that, you f'n Commie!"
"If you're feelin' froggy, son, all you gotta do is leap!"
FLASH!
A sword appeared in his hand.
CHING!
An ice sword appeared in my own.
VROOM!
VROOM!
We drove at each other one handed, the other aiming our weapons-
CLANK! SCKKRRRIKT!
Sparks flew from the weapons as we passed. Michael turned for another modern day joust, but I kept right on rolling.
I'll let you chase ME for a while!
Off into the forest we went again, threading through trees and hopping over fallen logs. I looked over my shoulder, just in time to see him rearing his sword over his head and chucking it at me end of end.
I slid hard to the side, hit the brakes and changed the gears. Facing him now and rolling backwards, I hummed raggedly under my breath and erected a ice shield. But instead of me, the sword hit dead on with my front tire.
I had a split second before the world turned into a huge blur. A metal spoke from my front wheel was sheared off and got stuck in my back wheel. In a second I was airborne for the millionth time, my bike back flipping wildly with me holding on for dear life once again. I looked up...down...and saw Michael passing under me. I let go of my doomed bike...and landed on the back of his.
"Wh-Whoa!"
My Harley smashed into a tree and exploded in a ball of fire and metal shrapnel. I stared in shock...before turning to Michael.
WHAM!
I punched him in the back of the head.
"You!"
WHAM!
"Destroyed!"
WHAM!
"My!"
WHAM!
"Steel!"
WHAM!
"HORSE!"
Michael ducked the last punch and smacked me with a back elbow. Totally unprepared, I damn near fell off the back of the bike. Off-balance, I reached out and grabbed the back of his shirt. That sent both of us leaning back and the front wheel of his bike wheelied into the air...just as we reached a huge drop off.
"HOLY-!"
"AHHHHH!"
We bailed off the bike as it spun madly in the air over a familiar place. Below, Noir and Robin stared at us before diving out of the way. Michael's bike slammed hard into a tree and exploded in just the way my own Harley had. That made me feel better...but then we landed.
CRASH!
We smashed through the old woodshed, tearing it to pieces. Sprawled out in a pile of lumber beside my enemy, I reached down with my eyes closed and brought out the pocket watch. I opened my eyes with effort and looked at it.
Five after five.
...What the hell? It's close enough.
I looked at Michael.
"...T-told you I'd take ya to the woodshed..."
He moved ever so slightly.
"Yeah...w-well...I took you with me."
I slowly sat up and pulled a particularly long splinter out of my arm. I looked at him.
"...Shush. No one likes a smart ass."
