NOTE: I usually reply to reviews made to my stories here, but I just can't be bothered doing that every chapter. . . . . From now I am only going to reply to "significant" reviews, that isn't solely a good thing. It can mean a curse as well. So be careful. Dirtbag
Virtues Chapter 4
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Hamtaro fell feebly back into my commodious arms. He was in a deep state of unconsciousness, almost in a trance. The perilous weapon in my hand had spilled none of Hamtaro's blood. But still, it had been used to hurt another of my dear friends. Hence, it was dirty, and stained with the dark matter of my circumstances.
Stained too, was my mind of constantly hurting those of whom I love. Hamtaro was out. I hadn't killed him, I would never go as far as to end a friends life. So he resided silently in my arms. Still clinging to the club like it was a secure bond of my hate to my life. I bled small drops through my knuckles, they were blatantly pink through my clutching of my weapon.
Dire was Hamtaro's need that I tend to him, but dire also was my need for getting out of the light clearing I was in. It was being illuminated by the sun and Bijou was about to walk right through the dense, trees and scrub. To find me, alone, dripping blood, hold a life-less Hamtaro.
My pink, heavily pained knuckles burned a bright white as I clenched the club with the extremities of all my deep strength. I guided my hand behind my hand. Careful not to split my head upon the open handle; I flung it with a combined swing of my hand and wrist. I felt the wind soar alluringly behind the force of my throw, trailing with a loud, upcoming gust behind the club.
A dim, close-by rustle crackled in my ear. Turning, I saw a small shrub moving. The leaves on it were small, but numerous. Looking through them I saw Bijou forcing herself through the branches. Searching for Hamtaro. Stepping over some small, collapsed branches, fallen from the heavily-laden trees above me; I hurled Hamtaro into a large clump of bushes, then threw myself into them after him. I was masked by the condensed leaves. They were a shield, holding me away from any commination.
Yet, the sunlight proved me to be improvident. She must have seen, with the help of the sun, the reflection of the light on my fur, making my coat gleam brightly. She walked towards my place of concealment and challenged the intellect I used to hide myself, by putting her hand into the foliage and rummaging through it to find what she had glimpsed.
Light and swift were my movements underneath the bush to evade her speedy hand, as that so I could remain hidden. I pulled aback from the front edge of the bush and rolled over flat on the ground. Out of her reach, I was temporarily safe. Bijou and Hamtaro's sole passion were each other. If Bijou found out that I had concussed him, I could image her response. A cataract like a waterfall from her eyes. An arm around Hamtaro…and perhaps another tyring to strangle me.
She would find me out eventually. But with a small convenience of luck. Maxwell and out of a thick clutter of trees and bushes, arm in arm. I didn't give a slightest care of what they said. Ignoring the words spraying from Bijou's mouth, I rolled back behind the bush. Sprang from my solitary place of hiding, and began running towards the clubhouse carrying Hamtaro. Like a newly born child, he did not suppress any of his own weight upon himself. It was all passed through me atop my straining burden of him.
Caught within memories of last night, from memories of nights years ago. My stumbling figure took no notice of the particular path I galloped. Warped, dark images of the past fused to which were the memories of the present. I though back to where my the virtues of my mind had tortured me. Had first endeavoured into my painfully roughed skull. I began vain efforts to stanch the sudden, rapid flow of my thoughts.
Remembering further back, I had lived in the city, not the clean parts of the city. I lived in a small alleyway, it was cramped…but I was happy to be there, and be alive. Flipping through thoughts of my parents, I turned back to Hamtaro to cease the memory.
His head was bruised, black and blue spread through the skin, beneath the silky fur on his head. Parting the fur aside, I saw slight tears in his skin. I would have to mend that, and have a try at abating the swelling on his forehead.
I stalked the aggressive of the uphill terrain, walking stout, and tumultuously whilst steadily heaving a hunched Hamtaro on my shoulders. Painful labour was ferociously whipping my back and spine, carrying my friend over the ruggedness, which I knew, amidst the end of it all. Was a calm flowing stream. A place to stop, and amend the pain I had caused to my comrade.
I conceded the suppression. Daunting the proclamation I had made trying to forget it. I could still almost hear my low-life friend, Ruddi. He wasn't that big, only half my size. In distinction, he had ruffled fur coating his body, regardless of the fact he was a clean hamster compared to many; his fur wasn't. Telling me about a small arm of hamsters, networking underground. He described their workers doing "Hits". Though I knew most would never go so far as killing. They were indefinitely rough to be a part of.
I had beheld most information he had given me. About targets, and different… "operations" they had going. More of my friends added up on their staff list. So I went with it. Reluctantly performing some "hits".
From the time I was downhill, across to the time of my final ascent, I was engulfed in thought. My Eden was not in these memories, but such that which are intertwined within them. The particular memory was my heiau, the generic, gently hamster that I had shared it with was revoked of me swiftly, and consciously without my interference.
I lolled Hamtaro's hair to the side and thoroughly cleansed his wound. Still too suppressed to really care for the present; I was still aloft with myself.
Suddenly coming scantly out of my daze, I felt water splash onto my fur, partially soaking separate parts of my body. Only to then was I to notice the birds, I stared at them with basilisk eyes. A bastion, formed of feathers, skimming the waters. I was brought to my senses, regaining myself, and my capacity for the thought of my flight, I departed, once again, for the journey to the clubhouse.
I had used to call that a home. A haven for my safe thinking and with priorities for my other needs. A small estuary of land was all that was set in my way. Heeding to the vivid cries of my mind; I followed the path it laid out for me.
The sun, coming further through the trees was a beacon warning of how soon other hams would arrive to the clubhouse. Bereft of knowledge of their positions; I walked past the trees and dragged Hamtaro onto the side of the street, not too far from his home. He would regain consciousness soon enough.
The clubhouse was North-West from this road, following it, the trial would lead me right to it. But to avoid the others, and to regain my privacy, I would go West for a few Kilometres or so, then North, further through the dark forest. I set off.
If Pashmina were to appear, at any given second. I would put my arms around her and beg for her forgiveness, as well as her mercy. Pashmina reminded me of her, the Eden of my thoughts. The only light of the past was her. It was mostly my fault she isn't her with me now, holding my hand, paw-in-paw. Her name was Rosa, she was holy, good, nice to me. And beautiful. Whatever she saw in me I had no idea of at the time. Why the fuck had I caused her disparity into ruin?
The gap between my mind and heart was a suicidal leap I dared not take. Slowly, I transcribed into the depths of my memories and began to recap what had happened. Sitting alone, years ago. I had the blood of my parents across me. Silent in the rain. I was big for my age then, but still small never less. I made the transition from the ground to my feet with effort. Blood pounded my chest, through my punctured, and broken ribs.
Walking alone, in both states of my mind, present and past. Going over this memory droned a silent tear from within the corner of my eye. Yet remembering this still…my blood rose high in its temperature. My knuckles grew white. I barred my teeth like fangs through my jaw. Nobody would screw me over again.
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