My shoulder blades against the side rear of the limousine, I gritted my teeth as I pushed back against the bayonet that threatened to pierce me. On the opposite side, a British soldier pushed back just as hard.
"Urgh!" I struggled against him. "Sh-shouldn't you be taking abuse from tourists in f-front of a castle somewhere? Or s-sniffing the Queen's panties?"
The soldier growled. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Terra stick her wigged head outside the limousine window.
"S-stay with the girls!" I forced out. "I can handle this!"
I cut my eyes down.
STOMP!
I brought the heel of my cowboy boot down hard on the British soldier's foot. The soldier stopped attacking and hopped backward. I advanced with my fists at the ready. The soldier ducked my wide right hook and retaliated with an uppercut using the butt of his rifle that caught me just under the chin. I arced through the air and, with a thump, landed face up on the trunk of the limousine. Before I could wince in pain, the soldier stabbed down at me with the bayonet.
SKKINKT!
The blade plunged into the trunk as I rolled backwards off of it and landed on my feet on the other side. The British soldier dislodged the rifle, put it up to his shoulder and aimed at me point blank.
I kicked the rear latch and the trunk popped open. The soldier stumbled back while the rifle flew straight up in the air. The gun came back down and landed in the trunk. The soldier ran for it, but it was too late. I rolled forward across the trunk, my body weight closing it and taking the rifle out of the equation. I came out of my roll on the other side of the trunk with both feet stretched out.
WHAM!
My cowboy boots smashed into the soldier's chest and sent him sprawling. I landed on my feet and stalked him while I cracked my neck to the side and wrapped my fists around metal knuckles.
It was on.
TTTTTTTTTT
With incessant giggling, the harlequin jumped and caught the chakram-like tambourine as it returned from smacking into Commissioner Ashley's skull. Decker grabbed her before she could hit the ground, but Walker's blood was boiling.
"Son of a bitch!" He raged. "You're Mod's ass clown freaks, huh? If you wanna hurt my daughter, you'll have to drag my ass through hell first!"
The harlequin frowned at him...and then showed a toothy smile.
That pissed Walker off even more.
"Arugh!"
Walker rushed him, but the harlequin was already moving. With spinning, acrobatic grace, he attacked him with a myriad of smacks, kicks and punches. Walker blocked and back stepped heavily, his long coat flapping around his ankles. Finally seeing an opening, he arced his fist.
The harlequin ducked under it and exploded upwards with a spinning uppercut that laid the chain smoking detective out on the street. He landed in a graceful pose, his face grim.
"Heheheheheheheh!" He went into another fit of giggles.
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
Decker emptied his pistol as him. The harlequin's tambourines flashed up in a blur.
TING! TING! TING! TING!
He deflected the bullets as he flipped and tumbled away towards the pageant stage.
TTTTTTTTTT
Beast Boy landed in a crouch along the street on the far side of the pageant stage. He turned and saw the safari man standing on a low roof, a high-powered rifle in his hands.
"You'll make a fine trophy, lad! Now just stay still you little bugger..." He closed one eye and looked down the sites of his gun with the other.
An exclamation mark appeared over Beast Boy's head.
BLAM!
Beast Boy dove to the side and, in midair, changed into an armadillo. He formed into a ball and rolled towards the safety the underside of a parked car provided.
The safari man wouldn't allow it.
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
The shots forced Beast Boy to change direction. He transformed into a snake and slithered across the road in an S pattern while chunks of road flew up around him. He crawled behind a concession stand and changed back to his regular form.
On the roof, the safari man had his rifle trained on the makeshift store.
"Come on out now, lad." He called. "Let's not dilly dally. That green skin of yours makes you look a bit dicky, but you're not completely duff. Turn your little self into something that's not in my trophy room before I send you to the taxidermist, eh?"
Beast Boy allowed himself a smirk behind the concession stand.
"Something not in your trophy room, huh?"
The safari man looked down his gun sites to make sure Beast Boy didn't get away as something small.
That wasn't a problem.
ROAR!
STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!
The safari man looked away from his gun and found himself face to face with a very large, very angry and very green t-rex.
He gulped.
Beast Boy spun and whipped his tail around. The safari man dove to the ground as it smashed through the billboard sign behind him. He stood and ran away in the general direction of the stage, leaping onto another roof. With a snarl, the green t-rex followed with lumbering strides.
TTTTTTTTTT
Starfire stumbled out of the storefront, her purple boots crunching over broken glass. She looked up into the broad, strong face of a knight seated in the saddle atop a mechanical stallion.
"I know my actions appear unseemly and disrespectful, lady, but I am but a humble servant of the Queen. Her whim is mine command. I must not disobey, lest I dishonor myself and my family. I pray you forgive me."
"Um...You are forgiven?"
"I thank you, kind lass." The knight bowed as much as possible while mounted. "I shall remember your liberal heart during the upcoming battle. I shall strive to make your end honorable and painless."
He kicked the flanks of his metal horse and charged, his lance aimed at Starfire's chest.
GRIP!
Starfire caught the weapon under her arm. The knight gasped in astonishment just before she flung him out of the saddle with a dreadful clattering.
Across the square, the T-Car skidded to a sliding stop. Inside, Cyborg mashed a series of buttons and a huge sonic cannon emerged from the roof. He hit a few more buttons to aim the weapon up at the HMS Victory II...
YANK!
A pair of muscular arms dragged him out of the car through the window and wrecked him through a brick wall. Before Cyborg could shake out the cobwebs, his attacker picked him up again and he found himself face to face with him.
It was a British strongman: Bald except for the bushy handlebar mustache and wearing a stripped body suit.
"Time to work your pecs, eh?"
"Work this!"
CLANG!
Cyborg attacked with a head butt. The strongman let out a grunt of pain and lost his grip. Cyborg landed on the ground, laced his hands together and jumped forward.
WHAM!
The two large combatants shuffled by as Noir blurred into position underneath a descending Raven. He held out his hands-
THUMP!
They landed in a tangle of limbs and capes and wooden swords. Raven stood and looked at the silent swordsman.
"I should thank you..."
Noir waited.
Raven turned and looked up at the floating ship.
Noir sighed-
"Thank you."
A British voice squealed from the ship's deck.
"FIRE!"
B-B-BOOM!
TTTTTTTTTT
"Ooof!"
I rolled across the ground and slammed into the side of the pageant stage. The ice shield I'd put up shattered into pieces. As I made my way to my feet, a coiled length of orange electrical cord caught my eye.
Not exactly a lasso but...
I picked up it up just as the British soldier was coming at me again. I blocked a jab and wrapped the cord around his wrist. He tried for a wide hook next, but I ducked and wrapped the cord around his waist. I twirled the the cord around his neck and pivoted to where we were back to back. I bent over sharply and pulled as hard as I could. The soldier flipped over my head and smacked into the ground. Being my irrepressible self, I tried to kick him while he was down, but he blocked and shoved me away.
We faced off once again. He glared at me while I inconspicuously tied a Texas knot into the cord. The soldier charged at me again even as I let the cord fly. The makeshift lasso wrapped around a paint bucket left out from the preparations the day before. I pulled hard and arced the heavy bucket for the soldier's head.
The soldier dodged and held up his rifle like a pole. The length of the cord wrapped around it and changed the bucket's trajectory.
My eyes widened.
WHAM!
I fell into a pile of pipes.
"Raugh!"
Robin descended, twirling his bo-staff.
CLANK!
The soldier blocked with his rifle. He hit a hidden button and, once again, the bayonet roared to life as a mini chainsaw.
SLICE!
The weapon sheared through Robin's bo staff. The Boy Wonder was still locked in surprised when the soldier jabbed it at him next.
A orange lasso arced through the air, fell down the soldier's body and stopped at his ankles.
I pulled and his legs went out from under him. He landed and rolled away to regain his footing.
Robin had a birdarang poised in his hand.
I had my laser pistol trained.
The soldier's rifle was aimed right back at me, though he glanced over his shoulder at Robin.
"Give it up!" Robin barked. "You're outnumbered."
The soldier wasn't listening. Robin tossed his birdarang, but the soldier had already pulled the trigger.
BLAM!
