Sorry its only short, I promise the next chapter will be longer

Its as if people are all around me, caught in a bubble of affection and love and outside unseen there's me, the person who makes the wrong choices, stuck with people I don't love - couldn't love, out of fear of being alone, falling into meaningless relationships, never loved, never happy.

Everywhere I look there's happy couples, so in love, happy to be in each other's company. And what hurts the most is when you see the one woman who could change everything for you, the only person who you ever truly loved, you see her with someone else, in someone else's arms, he whispers words which I long to say to her – and then, that magical feeling you have, every time you see them together, more and more of the magic fades, until – there's nothing, the love you once felt for them has gone, and as hard as you wish for them to return they don't, for you know the moment has gone, and you move on…

You see her now and the chemistry you once has had gone, its like it was to start with, your just mates, no longer sharing every secret, every fear you have, its lost, she has Stuart now anyway, she doesn't need me, and I, I don't need her, not like I used to, I'll just keep my fears locked inside, its better that way…love only hurts, as I found out the hard way…

I just have to tell myself, I've moved on, moved on from her, moved on from love….moved on from Samantha Nixon