Everyone thinks my life is perfect, When I think about it, I suppose that it would look like the perfect life to an observer. If only I could get myself to believe it. Every night as I go to bed, I whisper to myself that I am perfect and I deserve to be happy. Every night I fall asleep in tears, because things were not as perfect as they seem.

Why? What was I thinking? I love her, I love Samantha Nixon, the only women ive ever truly loved, and ive hurt her, yet again. Like I always do, she was always there for me, listened to me, and helped me, and turn around and throw it back in her face. And now, as I sit and watch her I see that pain.

"DS Nixon!" the DCI shouts across CID, everyone looking up to see what's going on, its like they have nothing better to do, a weary looking Sam walks past me, I look up at her but she just stares straight through me, she looks so tired all time the time, so fragile. And I can't help but think it's because of me. It isn't the first time Sams messed up, and not the first time this week. She doesn't seem to care anymore, about work, about herself.

"Sam what is wrong with you?" Jack asked, concerned

"Nothing" Sam replied

Jack just sighed "Look I think you need some time off"

"No, please I'm fine" Sam pleaded

"One more chance Sam" Jack shook his head as Sam left his office and walked into CID. Phil looked up once more and seeing how upset Sam was stood up

"Sam" he smiled, she just stopped in front of him and looked up

"Phil" she replied looking away

"Look, can we talk?"

"Ive got work to do" she lied

"Sam, please" he trailed off as Neil walked into the room

"Sam, I need you for an obbo"

"Guv' Sam replied, leaving Phil and walking back to her desk and grabbed her coat, leaving with Neil. Phil just sighed and sat back at his own desk. As the hours passed all Phil could think about was Sam, maybe he was right he should just move on from her, she looked as though she defiantly had, he just had to forget about her. Neil came bursting into CID

"Phil" he shouted, Phil shot out of his chair and looked up "Its Sam"

"What's happened to her?" He asked grabbing his coat

"She's at St Hughes, I'll take you over there

ok, what did you think? It's the best I could come up with lol. Sorry to leave it there, please review!