Disclaimer: I do not own Hamtaro. Or any other characters except Candycane.

(All the ham-hams are at the clubhouse)

Bijou: Deck the halls with bow—

Boss and Stan: Fa la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la!

Bijou: Would you shut up?

Boss: Uh… okay.

Hamtaro: Oh, what a big Christmas tree! IwantitIwantitIwantit!!!!! (Bites tree)

Bijou: Get your filthy teeth off my tree!!!

Hamtaro: But I want it!!!

Oxnard: (Eyes big, watches in awe)

Rest of Ham-hams: (Get together in one big bunch)

Hamtaro: (Lets go)

Bijou: So your teeth won't be filthy, use this Wonderham floss and toothpaste.

Hamtaro: But hamsters don't brush!

Oxnard: I do!

(Everyone stares at Oxnard)

Oxnard: What?

Bijou: I have an owner who owns a cat and I'm not afraid to use her.

Oxnard: But I didn't do anything!

Bijou: Not you, dolt, Hamtaro!

Hamtaro: (Brushes teeth and flosses them with Wonderham products)

Bijou: Don't you feel better?

Hamtaro: How do you spell no and beep?

Ham-hams: (Gasp) (Gasp)

Bijou: Bad you! This show is censored!

Hamtaro: Censored?

Oxnard: Censored, dolt, censored!

Boss: Duh! Some kid was liable to hear that word!

(Knock, knock)

Pashmina: I'll get it!

Boss: No! Don't!

Pashmina: It's only Candycane.

Boss: Who's Candycane?

Pashmina: She's my music teacher. She even plays the harp!

Penelope: Ookyoo, Ookwee, Ookyoo, Ookwee…

Translation: I want the gift of talk for Christmas.

Boss: What instrument do you play?

Pashmina: The harp.

(Candycane's knocking gets louder)

Pashmina: You guys better go. I don't want her to know that you're here.

Hamtaro: Uh, kay?

(All the ham-hams except Pashmina leave)

Pashmina: (Opens door)

Candycane: You, your instrument and your friends better leave.

Pashmina: Why?

Candycane: Santa will come here tonight. And he doesn't like hams. He'll drop coal on all of you.

Pashmina: OH YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET THE HECK OVER HERE!!!!!!

(Everyone comes over)

Maxwell: What?

Pashmina: Santa's going to drop coal on us!

Oxnard: Yay! I'll die! So then I don't have to be out of character! Yeah! Let's have a party! Film my death! Yeah! No OOC! No OOC! No OOC!

Pashmina: Raise your hand if you want to live.

(Everyone raises his or her hand except Oxnard)

Dexter: Oh, go jump off Mount Everest!

Later

Oxnard: (Writes down final words which are) Bye-bye cruel world! AAAAAAA! (Throws it down Mount Everest)

Oxnard: (Jumps off Mount Everest) Bye-bye cruel world! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Dies)

Dexter: I didn't mean to kill nobody.

Hamtaro: You told him to jump off Mount Everest!

Pashmina: (Singing) Why'd you kill him, oh, why'd you kill that kid… We lost him and there is about ten memories of that boy, oh why, Dexter, why, why, why? Now you got Kana and Laura feeling sorry…

Hamtaro: And not feeding me!

Pashmina: (singing) And not feeding Hamtaro correctly, oh why'd you kill him Dexter, why'd you kill Oxnard?

(Knock, knock)

Voice: We are the HHP. Surrender Hamtaro and Dexter in 10, 9, 8…

Bijou: They're going to put tear gas in here!

Boss: Open the door!!!

Bijou: (opens it)

HHP: We were only to eight…well, surrender Hamtaro and Dexter. Oh, and leave. Santa's going to drop coal on you.

Candycane: So you believe me now, huh?

Boss: Hold on. HHHAAAMMMTTTAAARRROOO!!! DDDEEEXXXTTTEEERRR!!!

Hamtaro and Dexter: (arrive) What?

HHP: You are now arrested. (Handcuffs Hamtaro and Dexter) Anything and everything you say can and will be used in court against you. (AN: Okay…If I got it wrong…sorry)

Hamtaro's Records

Name: Hamtaro

Accused of: Saying a bad word on a censored TV show

Getting jailed for: Ten Episodes

Dexter's Records

Name: Dexter

Accused of: Killing Oxnard the innocent

Getting jailed for: Not getting jailed. Let's just say X (

Dexter: I'm not going to jail?

HHP: No. Death Row.

Dexter: It was suicide, I tell you! He jumped off Mount Everest.

HHP: You told him to jump.

Dexter: But he jumped! I didn't push him!

HHP: You won't be living very long. Enjoy the cell while you can.

Dexter: NOOOOOOO! (Gets locked up)

Hamtaro: (Is out after ten days) I'm FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel sorry for Dexter. I wonder how he'll die.

Bijou: Dexter's dead.

Hamtaro: Already? What'd he get?

Bijou: Lethal Knife Injection.

Hamtaro: And his funeral is?

Bijou: Already buried.

Hamtaro: How long has it been?

Bijou: Oh, about a year now.

Hamtaro: Am I in a coma?

Bijou: You are. Wake up, Laura's gonna pour water on your head!

Hamtaro: Wha--- (Wakes up soaking wet)

Laura: You're ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Hugs Hamtaro) Merry Christmas! (Throws Hamtaro out the window) And now you're not… Muhahahahahahaha!!!!

IwantitIwantitIwantit I want it, I want it, I want it!

HHP Ham-ham Police