"Welllllllllllll…there is something…" Fred said with a peculiar grin on his face.
"And that would be?" Ron said with a look of desperation.
"Well it requires a ton of dark magic because this potion is really strong and that's the only type of magic that'll help you two." George replied.
"But who here knows dark magic?" Harry asked.
"How about Snape?" Ron said, giving a dark look.
"Nah… he's just a dark wizard poser/wannabe. He can barely do magic itself let alone dark magic. Greasy twit " Fred replied with a shake of his head.
"Well then…who?" Ron asked with exasperation.
Fred and George exchanged dark glances between each other.
"He-who-must-not-be-named." They said in unison.
"WHO?" Harry shouted at once.
"Well I'm pretty sure you and him have met before Harry. Except it always included the fight for your life." Fred said.
"I know who, its Voldemort." Ron gasped loudly Shut up Ron. Its just is he the only one out there to help us? I never really thought I'd go to Voldemort another gasp from Ron Ron shut it. You see I'm usually trying to avoid him because, well you know, he just happens to want to KILL ME!" Harry said, obviously getting worked up.
"Well we understand Harry, ok we don't really, but he's the only option. I mean rather going to You-know-who for help then going out with Malfoy right?" George said.
"Well that is true." Harry nodded.
"But where is you-know-who?" Ron asked.
"Hmm we last heard from Jordan, who heard from Parvati, who heard from Lavender, who got the info from Seamus, who got it from Neville, who got it from his grandmother, who heard it from Mrs. Fig who heard it from her cat who heard it from Luna. " Fred said.
Harry and Ron both had daft looks on their faces.
"Look Fred, we asked where he is, not some news report." Harry said.
"So… where is you-know-who?" Ron asked, still trying to figure out who heard from who."
"Oh right well he's at Mungo's. He decided to finally get help. They had to create a whole new ward just for him! Because you know he has so many problems." George said.
"So we have to go to all the way to Mungo's? Harry asked.
"Well think of it this way Harry, if he tries to do us in, we can poke him with one of those pointy things those muggle nutters…erm doctors use to quiet the patients." Ron said.
"That's true…and we can get away from Malfoy, ask for the cure, use it, and then live happily ever after." Harry said gleefully.
"Well Hermione is still with Dimitri though," Ron added.
"oh right him. Maybe we can ask dear Voldy to help us uhh "take him out" Mwahahahahaha." Harry said, cackling.
"Righttt…. and maybe we can get you to see a therapist too! This trip wont be bad after all." Ron said.
So the boys went to Dumbledore to tell him about the problem and their trip to Mungo's.
"Password?" asked the stone gargoyle.
"Shaken not stirred." Harry said.
"The man needs to stop watching James Bond. Next, we
might as well see him doing stunts carrying a bazooka and running
after the Russians. Then again, we can get rid of Dimitri" Ron said
smiling.
Then the two boys went up to Dumbledore's office,
where they heard the James bond theme song playing and Dumbledore was
muttering to himself, saying "007" and such every now and
then.
"Uhh Professor Dumbledore sir?" Harry asked quietly.
"Oh Hello Harry and Ron. So good to see you. What do you need?" Dumbledore asked.
Harry and Ron explained the whole thing to him.
Dumbledore laughed till he almost had a stroke.
"Well…snicker I suppose Voldemort is the only one to go to. I can allow you. I will make a portkey that will lead directly to his room. snicker I cant believe Mr. Malfoy is after you. I always thought of him as queer. Gets it from his dad I suppose. And Mr. Potter, I agree with Mr. Weasley. You should see a therapist. They have excellent ones there. I myself had to take Mr. Filch there once. Well good luck boys," And Dumbledore went of waltzing to the theme song.
"Well right but what about the portkey?" Harry asked.
"Oh yes that." So Dumbledore took a tickle-me-Elmo toy and transferred into a portkey. It laughed as it did.
"Er a muggle toy sir?" Harry asked unsure of this strange creepy looking thing little boys and girls played with it.
"Yes yes, delightful thing. It may come to use later. " And with that being said, Harry and Ron took the portkey.
"Ok one two three go!" And with a giggle from Elmo, Harry and Ron were off to the mentally deranged and psychotic ward.
So that's it, this story is done! Well there's a sequel. Which I will be working on…soon. And I mean it. I think.
