The Road to Ambiguity

by distortedtruths

This takes place around after Episode 7, after the whole series.


Alone In My Nightmare

The moon cast shadows over town, encasing it in darkness. The air of silence was largely peaceful, a far cry from the buzzing crowds in the day.

A towering building stood on the side of town, seemingly dead of activity. One who passed it would almost shiver from the coldness and lack of life emitting from it. The same could be said about its inhabitants.

A dark figure slinked across, padded feet barely making an audible sound. It's soft paws quietly silently ravaged the uncovered garbage can for food.

From the building, a terrified scream sliced through the fragile still air. The startled figure streaked across the street, giving a yowl of surprise.


Tao Jun bolted awake, panting slightly as small beads of perspiration slid from her forehead. She winced, realising her head hurt and her hands were shaking.

"Miss Jun! What happened!" A familiar tall figure appeared at the doorway. He sounded really concerned, as though afraid something untoward had happened to his mistress.

"Onee-san! Wha-what is going on?" The second shadow by the doorway spoke up. Despite his cold and tough exterior, the concern for his sister was clear.

She shook her green locks and forced a smile, trying to convince both that everything was fine. Or was she trying to convince herself?

"I just had a bad dream, that's all. I am fine. You can go now."

Ren shot a glare at Pailong, almost as if it was HE who caused his sister to be like this. He particularly did not like the idea of having Jun around an uncontrolled zombie. With his guardian spirit, Bason, the boy turned and headed back to his own room. He didn't like it, the past few days saw his sister listless and jumpy, almost as if...she was on the brink of a breakdown.

"Yes, Jun-san.", casting a worried glance over before making his way back to his 'bed', hesitantly. Pailong had no idea what was plaguing his mistress so. The past few days had left her awake in the middle of the night. He had heard, the undead need no sleep and his martial arts training taught him to be extremely observant. Yet he knew not the cause, nor the problem. He could only hope that whatever was bothering her would pass soon.

Jun drew herself in a tight bundle, hugging her knees, a broken sob escaping. She had no idea why the dreams were coming more frequent, each one worse that the previous. They left her tired and withdrawn, terrified of sleeping, knowing that the nightmares would eventually surface.

"Pailong..."

"You destroyed my life. You took away everything from me. My wife, my daughter, my friends, EVERYTHING! You are the cause."

"...I am really sorry! I really am...please don't be like this!"

"The moment of your birth was the moment of my death. I hate you."

"I...I thought you forgave me...?"

"I thought I did. But I never could. And I never will. Tao Jun, you will pay for destroying me!"

"NOOOO!"

The images accompanying the exchange were horrifying. Jun knew Pailong would never do that...or would he? But the scenes kept replaying over and over in her mind, bringing on a fresh wave of tears.

She knew she should not be doubting him, but he had tried to kill her in their first fight with Asakura Yoh. It WAS her fault, but she could not help it, even though Jun had never told anyone or discussed the matter again, a part of her still trembled at the memory of that moment.

Her lips twisted into a bitter smile. Ren would look upon her with disgust, and so would everyone else. Her weakness, her vulnerable state. Even she hated herself. Despised herself for doubting Pailong, her loyal friend. Despised herself for distancing away from him.

Maybe the Li Pailong from her dream was right. Maybe she should not have even been born. Her very existance had brought pain to people. To Pailong, to his family, to his work, to his fans. To herself.

Unable to sleep, Tao Jun reached over her bedside table for the small obscure bottle that had become her comfort the recent days. Taking two white round tablets, she gulped them down, waiting for the drowsiness to overtake her, to carry her into a dreamless sleep. Closing her eyes, letting the darkness envelope her.


Li Pailong lay in his coffin, eyes open, listening to the barely noticeable sounds of Tao Jun's sobs. If he had a beating heart, it would probably be wrenching in pain, pain for Jun-san. He could not understand her suffering, yet he wished he did. Or perhaps he could offer comfort. But he could sense she needed to be alone, to sort out her thoughts.

He let his mind wander to the day Asakura Yoh, along with his ghost spirit Amidamaru had freed him from Jun's talisman control. Realising what had happened to him, Pailong had nearly lost control and become an evil spirit. He had even attacked Jun, even planning to kill her in the process. Thinking of it only brought horror at how close he had come to destroying her.

There were times he felt bitter about it, about how Tao Jun, the princess of the Tao family had gotten him at a gift, a pet, a toy. She had everything, even his life. Sometimes, he would even allow his thoughts to wander if...she had never existed, perhaps he would be a loving husband, a proud father, perhaps even a grandfather, a great martial arts legend.

Immediately he would feel ashamed and horrified of himself. Jun had become his life, it was his duty to protect her. He had sworn to keep her from harm, from hurt. He was willing to be her guardian spirit, to stay by her side. Pailong thought about Yoh and his guardian ghost; Yoh had called Amidamaru his friend. A tiny part of him wondered if Jun had thought of him as a friend. Perhaps not.

The handsome zombie forced his eyes close, hoping that perhaps tomorrow would be a better day of all of them.


Update 23rd September:

Argh. I just revised this chapter, can't believe there were quite many grammar mistakes, spelling errors, weird sentence structures, etc.
Ewwww just disgusting.
Sorry about that!
I made some amendments, hopefully it flows more smoothly now.