I waited patiently for him. He was supposed to have met me early in the day. I called him, but got no reply. It's thanksgiving day and I so wanted to be with him. Maybe I was asking a little too much. Told him I got a room for us to spend some time together. He had that "don't push your luck, Addison" kind of look. I sit and wait. I guess he won't be coming back to join me, afterall. A glutton for punishment. That's what I am.

I hear thoughts in my head.

"What do you want from me? I chose you, didn't I"? I'm here, aren't I? What exactly do you want from me?" I hear his voice in me saying.

"I want you to love me the way I love you! I want you to want me the way I want you! I want you to make love to me the way I want to make love to you!" I answer back silently.

And he walks away.

I imagine that silent conversation between us. I tend to have the power of forming mental images in my mind of something that is never wholly perceived in reality. I shouldn't be doing this to myself. I'm an intelligent person, a surgeon. Successful in my career. But, when it comes to my personal life, I have no clue of what the hell is going on.

"Okay, Dr. Grey, you win. He loves you, not me. You win."

I want to just run away and hide. I guess I wasn't what he wanted.

Maybe...yes, maybe it's time for me to say goodbye. But, I should give it one more try. As I sit outside of his trailer, what's the worse thing that could happen? He'll just tell me to leave. He could be driving up with her along side of him. Then, what would I do?

I'll just walk away.

He never looked so good. I never expected it to happen. It's been such a long time since he's kissed me. He's never tasted so good, the feel of his lips on mine. Ahhhh, the slip of his tongue into my sightly opened mouth sent goose bumps throughout my body.

It was magic!