You know, I'm trying so hard to work things out with Derrick. So, my first step was to make friends with his friends, namely Meredith. It nearly killed me to have bought that extra cup of coffee for her, two cups for that matter. As I carefully approached, I smiled and offered that java to her.

Surprised! Indeed she was. I can't even imagine what went through her head. Me, Addison Montgomery-Shephard friends with Meredith? I don't think so! But, if it will make my husband happy, I'll just plaster a smile on this face of mine and make like whatever had happened between them doesn't matter to me anymore. Yes, it does! But, I'm not about to tell him that. He really does want to work things out. It still frightens me, though, that things might start all over again for them. Afterall, we do all work at the same place.

Doesn't he know what it's doing to me inside? I really don't want him to see the jealousy. When he looks at me I nod and smile at him, but doesn't he know that...

It only hurts when I laugh.