Author's Note
Please forgive any spelling and/or grammar errors. I hope you enjoy it, please let me know what you think!
Any dialogue you recognize comes from Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Most is changed at least a bit though to fit right.
I'm not J.K. Rowling, so I don't own anything.
Ch 29: Confessions
Hermione shuttered as a desolate sob, only barely contained up to this point finally broke free. Voldemort and his ilk had done this. They'd broken her.
She was going to die.
Alone.
But they were going to make her suffer first. Suffer even more than she already had. They'd refused her plea to end it now.
Was she a coward for wishing the end to come swiftly?
Probably. Harry never would have given up, but she lacked his determination. After everything else she'd been through the last couple years, she just couldn't handle any more.
Bile coated her throat, rising unbidden and choking her with its acidic presence. Starbursts exploded behind her lids when she closed them, hoping it would settle her stomach and allow her to retain a fragment of her dignity.
Possibly worse, at least in terms of the wizarding world, was that she'd failed to help Harry find the remaining Horcruxes. Voldemort was still immortal. Only her, Harry, and Ron knew all that still needed to be done to finish this war, to defeat Voldemort, but they were all captured.
And she was about to die.
She may only be one inconsequential piece in the grand scheme of things, but she'd been entrusted with a crucial job, and she'd failed.
Who would figure out what needed to be done once they were all dead? Could Harry and Ron make it out of here without her?
Would they survive Bellatrix's idea of interrogation?
"Stupefy!" Severus hissed, appearing in the doorway and stunning Bellatrix before the witch even knew he'd arrived.
The dark haired witch toppled, face smacking loudly against the stone floor, but Hermione felt no satisfaction as she heard it. Her attention was riveted, completely captured by the newcomer. Severus had come. He'd found her before Lucius could "dispose of her."
"S-S-severus," she gasped.
At once Lucius released her and spun to face the enraged man framed by the stone arch leading to a different part of the manor than Malfoy had visited earlier. She stumbled, crumpling to the floor, her legs trembling too violently to support her without the aid of his unrelenting grip.
"Come to save your Mudblood whore, have you? Afraid we had to remind her of her place – she won't be forgetting again anytime soon," Lucius sneered, a grimace twisting his once haughty features.
"Do. Not. Call. Her. That," Severus growled, punctuating each word with a forward step.
"We did more than call her that," Lucius taunted, taking pleasure in the way Severus's nostrils flared and color infused his cheeks upon hearing the news. "But why should it matter to you? According to her, you've been done with her for quite some time. She's nothing."
The slightest wrinkle creased his brow before it smoothed out, and he silkily replied, "She is nothing, you're right. A bit of momentary fun. But perhaps I decided I'd like seconds."
She knew then. He'd not expected her to cover for him. They'd talked before about who'd she'd pick, him or Harry, but he'd never really thought she would live up to her promise. It should have hurt, but mostly she just pitied him. Pitied him because Lily, his choice, hadn't done that. She might not know the full story, but she could hazard a guess at it.
She also felt guilty for ever doubting he'd come for her. She'd blame the pain for compromising her cognitive processing, but the truth was that she'd given up hope months ago. Guilt dripped over her, sticky and lingering as syrup.
"Or you're working with her. After all, you ran to her defense the instant she was in trouble," Lucius accused, accurately assessing the situation.
"I believe we were told to leave Potter and his friends to the Dark Lord," Severus deflected smoothly, though it only made Lucius more suspicious, like a dog catching the scent of wounded prey. "I'm only here to stop you from making yet another mistake that will cost your family."
"Listen to him, Lucius," Narcissa interjected, pressing the point.
"Silence, witch. Don't think I don't know about how you've been plotting behind my back," Lucius sneered.
"One of us has to look out for Draco. The way you're going, you're going to get him killed," she accused disdainfully.
"She has a point. The Dark Lord won't be happy with what you've taken upon yourself to do here. His instructions regarding Potter and his accomplices were exceedingly clear," Severus warned, still maintaining his stance as a loyal follower.
"I didn't touch Potter," Lucius said quickly, glancing about as though searching for an escape or someone to pin the blame on.
"Then what were you doing with her?" Severus asked, his lips curling back in a threatening snarl.
"She's still mostly intact," Lucius said carelessly, not really caring one way or another if Hermione lived through this ordeal. If Severus hadn't arrived when he had, it might have been too late for her. Or he'd have done something worse that she wouldn't want to survive.
The suggestion that Hermione had been damaged was finally enough to have Severus taking her in where she lay, a filthy, bloody heap on the floor.
A darkness came over him then, making him nearly unrecognizable. He became the embodiment of rage and death, and even Lucius shrank back from the sight, finally understanding he'd gone too far.
Severus didn't spare her another glance as he faced off with Lucius, the two wizards seizing each other up and preparing to fight. Narcissa pulled Malfoy deep into a corner, and it seemed to act as some sort of trigger or signal, because each man began firing jets of colored light at the other at a speed that left Hermione dizzy, though that could have been a remnant of the pain or blood loss.
One jet nearly hit her, and Hermione rolled out of the way, leaving a smear of crimson along the floor as she went. Another was there, no, this was a length of crackling flames. Severus was welding a whip of fire, and it nearly decapitated her when Lucius shifted, dodging the tail's end as it flicked faster than an asp. The glow briefly illuminated Severus's face. He appeared to be a demon risen from the depths of hell to exact vengeance.
"She's nothing! You agreed! Why?" Lucius yelled, firing on Severus with a speed that Hermione feared he'd be unable to block for long.
Most of the spells were silent, but every now and then one would hiss an undeniably Dark curse at the other, the kind that gained strength through the viciousness of the casting and required the witch or wizard to voice the spell aloud.
"You have to ask?" Severus inquired, and Hermione wondered what precisely he meant by that as he fired deliberately at the crystal chandelier swaying above Lucius's head.
The multi-tiered light shattered, crystal debris exploding outward and raining down in a deadly hail of piercing shards. Hermione was only barely outside of the blast zone, but part of her suspected that she only was because Severus had thrown up a shield to protect her immediately after firing the Blasting Curse.
"Was her cunt that sweet to have enthralled you so?"
"You'll never find out," Severus growled.
"We'll see. Your response has me intrigued."
"Get over it. Immediately," Severus ordered.
"I think I'll break her in when we're through here. You obviously didn't do a good enough job of it if she can still walk."
Never had Hermione seen anything like what she witnessed right then. Probably, it was similar to what Harry had seen in the Ministry when Dumbledore and Voldemort had faced off.
As the fighting continued, bits of the marble flooring cracked, and priceless vases and busts decorating the room exploded. Hermione focused on dragging herself backwards, trying to stay out of the way while cradling her mangled arm to her chest. Her limbs only barely responded to her commands, spasms making them periodically uncooperative, and a dull blackness had invaded the edges of her vision.
"I didn't even think…you were interested in witches, given how…you abstained over the years. She…must possess a special sort of magic to have…tempted you and lead you so far astray," Lucius spat, panting heavily as he tried to balance his taunts between his spell work.
She'd nearly reached the two cowering Malfoys when Harry and Ron erupted into the room, a tiny figure with large, bulbous eyes clad in a poorly knitted jumper sandwiched between them.
Her mind was still processing what her eyes were telling it when Ron squatted next to her, catching her under the arms to haul her up, but Harry took one look at the state she was in and rounded on Malfoy, the closest person he could get a clear shot at.
"Expelliarmus!"
Malfoy's wand, still hovering halfway up as he debated joining the fray, was wrenched from his grip to sail over Dobby, who was wringing his hands and looking torn between his former masters and the wizard he was most loyal to. It turned end over end, almost moving in slow motion as it crossed the expanse separating the long-time rivals.
Harry leapt, snagging the wand from the air, which he turned immediately on Severus, the professor he'd hated, nearly above all others, for years. The man he'd been helplessly forced to watch murder his mentor.
"No!" Hermione cried, heart lodging in her throat as she lunged forward, but her legs refused to support her, and it was only thanks to Ron that she didn't crumple in on herself like an empty sack of flour.
"Harry Potter mustn't!" Dobby ordered, catching Harry's arm in her stead.
She could have kissed the house-elf. She doubted anyone else could have made him pause long enough to get his head clear enough to read the situation. Thankfully, it worked. Harry took in the scene with a swiftness that had served him for years on the Quidditch pitch.
Stunned didn't aptly describe her friend, but the warning had been enough to stall his actions even as Ron said, "You heard what Luna said, mate. Guess everything she said was right."
"You found Luna?" Hermione asked weakly, sagging into Ron as her attention divided between her friends and her husband who continued lobing spell after spell at Lucius.
Flashes of green and blue lit the room like a strange Muggle show.
Everything hurt.
She'd just been put through a meat grinder, literally in the case of her arm.
The next part happened so quickly Hermione struggled to get her sluggish mind to keep up.
"You spoke of our Master. I imagine he will find this situation very enlightening, be assured," Lucius threatened, his breaths coming fast and hard as he struggled to keep pace with Severus.
"There's nothing to tell. As I said…I'm stopping you from going against his orders," Severus countered, using just enough truth to sow seeds of doubt in any of Voldemort's usual followers, but Lucius was beyond reason.
"You're defending your Mudblood whore," he snarled, making Hermione flinch. Ron's fingers dug into her as he pulled her closer, valiantly trying to shield her from the bitter sting of the hate-filled slur.
Severus gave up all pretense of negotiating or feigning indifference towards Hermione, hissing dangerously, "Don't you dare insult her."
His lips pulled back again to display a startling number of teeth, giving him the appearance of a savage wolf ready to tear into an enemy encroaching on his territory.
"You'd turn your back on everything you believe in for her?" Lucius asked, shifting back, apparently sensing he'd gone too far and that he might just lose this fight. She didn't think he'd actually believed he could prior to that moment.
"No," Severus grit out, grinding his teeth so hard a vein rose along his temple, bulging steadily.
Of course not. It was for Lily, not Hermione. But Hermione was a means to an end. Not that it mattered. He was there. He'd come for her anyway because he was a good man.
"You never should have touched her," Severus said between his clenched teeth.
Lucius spared a fleeting glance at Hermione, but it was enough of a distraction that Severus took advantage, screaming, "Sectumsempra!"
The blond crashed to his knees, blood blooming across his chest like scarlet pageant sashes. Lucius blinked twice, his wand slipping from his weakened grasp as rivers of crimson spilled to the floor, the stain spreading quickly. Then he toppled backwards.
"Lucius!" Narcissa wailed, scrambling forward and pressing her hands against the deep lacerations bisecting his torso, desperate to stop the man from bleeding out.
It was over. Severus had come out on top. How long ago had he arrived? Two minutes? No more than five, surly.
"Hermione," Severus began, but halted his approach when Harry's fingers tightened around the wand he still held partially aloft and aimed towards Severus, an unspoken warning in his stance.
Ron nudged her, silently prompting her to say something to either diffuse the mounting tension or give the boys some clue on how to handle the situation.
"I'm fine, Severus. You came," she said, turning her arm slightly to hide the hideous marks from his view. The action only served to draw his attention, and his brow puckered as he took in the dried blood gloving her limb, bits of rust already beginning to flake off in places.
"Always," he vowed softly, almost absently.
It was enough to have Harry tensing, but at least he didn't raise the wand any higher or lash out verbally. Hermione was a bit surprised Ron was managing to hold his tongue as well. Neither were exactly known for their restraint. Probably, at least one of them had needed to bite their tongue off to keep from hurling an insult or curse. It wouldn't surprise her at all.
Hermione didn't refute his statement either. He had always come for her, but she hated how much that single word implied now that she was aware of how little he actually meant by it. But she wasn't up for arguing.
"Phineas told me where you'd been camping. I tried there first when I felt your distress, but all I found was your ruined campsite and evidence of a fight."
"You've known how to find us this whole time?" Harry asked anxiously, horror threaded through his words like a noose.
Severus ignored him, never looking away from Hermione as he continued, "I didn't get Draco's message from the other portraits until I returned to the castle or I'd have come sooner." It was as though he felt he'd let her down in some way and needed to justify his tardy arrival. "I was too late."
"No. I'm still alive," Hermione countered, making Ron's hands tense noticeably.
A tremor racked her body, and she nearly collapsed. The room spun, tipping slightly on its axis until her stomach rolled, rioting at the sudden shift in her equilibrium. Her heart beat rapidly in her arm, having migrated to where the worst of the pain was localized. It was as though all of the blood had drained from her head and was trying to fit within the slender appendage, but there wasn't enough room. If it burst, like an overfilled water balloon, Hermione wondered if that would alleviate any of the pain or simply make it worse.
"We need to go," Ron stated tightly, thankfully managing to suppress all of his worry for her and anger at the situation.
Her head lulled, and she caught sight of Bellatrix's prone form, two discernible blast marks on her legs were stray spells from Severus and Lucius's duel had hit her. Hopefully they'd cause a bit of lasting damage.
"Bellatrix knows," Hermione gasped, whipping her head back around to stare fearfully at Severus.
It took several seconds longer than it should for him to come into focus. When he did, Hermione could see the wheels turning in his mind as he came up with possible solutions, and just as quickly discarded them.
"Harry Potter must leave here," Dobby interrupted, echoing Ron as he tugged roughly on his ears before twisting them anxiously. "Headmaster, you must go too." Dobby's respect for Severus was apparent enough that Harry finally lowered his wand, an uncertain frown maring his features.
"Wait!" Narcissa called quickly. "I'll keep my sister and Lucius quiet if you take Draco someplace safe," Narcissa said quickly, pausing in her attempt to heal Lucius long enough to suggest the bargain. "They didn't summon him, but this is the first place he'll return to, and he'll be back very soon."
Severus addressed the youngest Malfoy, an inherent question in his name. "Draco…?"
Malfoy had turned ashen and slumped heavily against the wall at some point in the last minute. Hermione wasn't sure if it was the loss of his wand or seeing his father bested that had affected him most.
"Yes," he mouthed, though no volume accompanied the word.
"No way. No bloody way," Ron protested, searching the others incredulously when they didn't immediately offer their support for his refusal.
Harry's jaw hung open, and for once he seemed completely incapable of speech.
"Severus, you promised to help him if you could," Narcissa said, superiority ringing loudly in the still room. Her position on the floor doing nothing to undermine her regal bearing.
"It is not my decision to make," he replied, surveying Hermione critically.
"Draco, it's too dangerous to remain. This is your chance," Narcissa coaxed, holding her bloody hands before her as though to demonstrate what awaited him if he didn't leave with them. "Convince them to take you with them when they go."
Malfoy nodded, the movement slow and jerky, a puppet being controlled by a novice. A faint green tinge marred his pale features as he straightened. And Hermione was shocked when he turned to her.
"I can't believe you're considering –"
Malfoy ignored Ron, speaking over him as though he were beneath his notice.
"Persuade Potter. You owe me a life debt, Granger. Two of them actually, since this is twice I've saved you," he said dully, though his words held all of the arrogant demand she was accustomed to from him. Probably, he didn't know another way to speak to people.
From the corner of her eye, Hermione said the dark look Harry and Ron exchanged, but she wasn't entirely sure what was meant by it.
"Granger…I want out…please," Malfoy said, clearly uncomfortable, but the broken edge to him had her pitying him slightly.
Dobby shifted restlessly, clearly on edge and wishing they'd hurry and make a decision already.
Hermione steeled herself for a fight, wondering if Severus could hide Draco away if Harry outright refused, and quietly said, "He's right."
"You're serious." Harry gaped at her, and Ron tightened his hold, letting her lean more heavily on him. It was probably for that reason alone he didn't argue anymore himself. He could feel the continued shakes rolling through her, and see the blood still soaking her shirt where she pressed her arm against her chest to stem the flow.
"Harry? I'll explain everything once we go," she promised, dreading it, but knowing it was necessary.
"You really owe him a life debt?" Harry asked faintly, looking again at Ron.
"Yes," she acknowledged.
Harry sighed heavily, tugging on his messy hair and squeezing his eyes shut as he nodded.
Hermione wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth, and instead looked to Narcissa, demanding, "My wand."
The haughty women handed it over immediately, somehow managing to convey a sense of looking down on Hermione even as she still knelt in her husband's blood, which she'd unfortunately managed to heal while they'd been talking. Hermione accepted the thin piece of wood, sticky with blood, that prevented her from being helpless.
"I'm trusting you to uphold your side of this bargain," Narcissa said fiercely, waiting another beat before relinquishing her grip on the wand.
"Why would you trust me? I'm nothing but a Mudblood," Hermione inquired darkly, absently aware of how Severus tensed at her casual use of the insult to describe herself.
"I know everything that happens under my roof. My son is correct that you owe him a life debt," Narcissa revealed meaningfully, implying she knew precisely what happened with Crabbe the year before, "and so long as you protect him, I will attempt to keep your secrets from the Dark Lord."
Hermione swallowed, knowing it was the best chance they had to keep Severus's true loyalty secret for just a bit longer. And judging by his lack of involvement in the debate, he'd not managed to come up with a better alternative.
"Understood," Hermione agreed.
"Harry Potter, sir? Are we finally going?" Dobby asked Harry, tugging on the hem of his shirt insistently.
"Yes. Dobby, can you take the five of us where you took the others?" Harry asked, looking between Severus and Malfoy distrustingly.
Severus's eyes widened at being included in the number, but he didn't get a chance to so much as blink before the house-elf had lassoed them with magic, making all five zoom to his side.
"Yes, sir!" Dobby squeaked loudly, and with a bang, darkness swallowed them, transporting them from the bleak surroundings of Malfoy Manor's cold splendor to the sunny field of a cottage on the sea.
At the first whiff of the briny breezy, Hermione quaked, inhaling deeper to clear what she now recognized were the lingering scents of sour sweat, burnt flesh, and metallic blood. It cleared her head a little, but she still felt about as stable as a newborn babe.
"Hermione! I was so worried! I heard you…"
"Luna!" Hermione cried, a sob breaking free as she saw her friend's dirty and bedraggled state. She'd been in that house for weeks. Hermione had barely survived two hours in total.
As usual, Luna showed how keenly perceptive she was capable of being, despite the dreamworld she typically favored dwelling in, and spoke an uncomfortable truth. "They didn't hurt me. Not like Crabbe or the others hurt you, Hermione, so you needn't look so worried."
Trust Luna to jump right to the heart of a matter.
"What about Crabbe?" Ron asked quietly, lips nearly brushing her ear as he did.
"Later," Hermione promised, willing him to drop it for just a little while. Drop it until after Severus left.
He was so close all she needed to do was reach out and she'd be touching him.
"Hello, Professor Snape. It's nice to see you," Luna said politely, likely trying to dispel some of the awkward tension buffeting their strange group and reinforce the idea that Severus was to be trusted.
"Miss Lovegood," he nodded, but he didn't look away from her to greet the girl. "If I might have a word with Hermione. Alone. Dobby, thank you for responding so quickly."
"You sent Dobby to help us?" Harry demanded.
"Dobby was happy to help Harry Potter, sir!" Dobby replied, confirming it for Severus. She doubted Harry would have believed it otherwise.
"I told you that you didn't know the full story," Luna whispered loudly to Harry as she tried and failed to lead him closer to the house.
Hermione gave Ron a pleading look when he didn't immediately release her. He groaned, making it clear he was only agreeing under duress, but relaxed his hold. She wobbled, knees going weak and refusing to support her. Ron instantly caught her, a question lingering on his face, though he didn't betray his concern aloud, knowing the last thing she desired was to be fussed over in that moment.
Willing steel into her legs, she stepped closer to Severus, seeing the way he studied her, evaluating her state of health and summing it up in a glance.
"How on earth did you manage to keep this from them all this time?" Malfoy asked incredulously, having just realized Harry and Ron still knew nothing about her relationship with Severus.
"That is none of your concern, Draco," Severus warned, threatening to flay the boy alive if he dared say another word on the matter. "See that you do as you're told here or you might find yourself without the significant and vital protection of the Order. If you give them reason to turn you out, the Dark Lord will dispose of you, and it won't be pleasant."
"I just want to wash my hands of all of it," Draco grumbled petulantly.
"Ron?" she asked pointedly, nodding that she'd be all right and willing him to take Malfoy with him when he went.
"I can't believe I'm agreeing to this," he muttered, then barked, "I'm going to check in with Bill. This is a lot of unexpected guests…Malfoy, you're with me. I don't trust you out of my sight. And, Luna, could you…maybe…I mean, can you update me on how Lavender has been this year?"
"Tell your brother to collect Miss Weasley from Hogsmeade when the train arrives. She shouldn't risk returning to the castle before this is over," Severus instructed stiffly, addressing Ron directly for the first time.
Stark terror drained what little color Ron possessed from his face, probably in equal measures for his sister and Lavender, who would still be stuck at the castle. The train had already left King's Cross Station by now, so Severus was correct, they'd have to intercept Ginny in town since you couldn't Apparate directly into the train.
As the two headed into the house, albeit reluctantly on Malfoy's part and hurriedly on Ron's, with Luna choosing to linger as she watched Harry still hovering close by. "It's all right, Harry. I need a minute to speak with him."
"Hermione," he breathed wearily, eyes wide with barely controlled anger and suspicion.
"Please," she begged, bracing against the quiver in her legs that attempted to put her flat on her back. "He won't hurt me."
"I don't trust him, and you can barely stand," Harry said a little petulantly.
Hermione said nothing, refusing to defend herself further. Because she was the one that stayed, when even Ron abandoned him. She was the one that looked out for him when he got in over his head. She was the one he bounced his insane ideas off of when he needed answers he didn't have to make sense of things. Time and again, she'd proven her loyalty. It was time for him to return the favor.
Finally, he ominously announced, "I'll be right over there," which earned him a derisive snort from Severus that did nothing to make Harry walk any faster to join Luna. If anything, his back had gone ramrod straight at the familiar sound.
"You didn't weigh in on bringing Malfoy here," Hermione began, finding it an easier segway.
"You're intelligent enough to make your own decisions," Severus remarked, demonstrating a surprising bit of faith in her that she'd not known he felt. "He knows what's at stake, but even if he didn't, I trust you to make the right ones."
"Even when the consequences affect you?" she prodded, genuinely curious.
"I do," he said before sadness washed over him. He took her arm in his careful hands, the touch warm and gentle. Reassuring. A contrast to the icy, black rage she glimpsed as he read the word that had been carved into her skin.
Hermione waited as he tried several spells, unsurprised when they did nothing to heal the wounds Bellatrix had inflicted. There was a reason she'd used her favorite knife to cut her with.
She'd need to thank Malfoy for retrieving that particular one…. But that could wait until later.
"I can try brewing a potion, but…."
Hermione took her arm back. She didn't want to think about what it would mean to be permanently branded. "I would think you came for me, but I'm sure the motivation actually had more to do with Harry."
Severus pressed a hand to his gut. Reminding her that he'd felt her. She should have known. But he looked hurt that she'd suggest he cared more about Harry.
"Why would you say that?" he demanded.
Solemnly, she said, "You always seem to be saving me."
It really was too bad she never got the chance to return the favor. She'd not even really been there for him this year while he struggled at the school. They seemed forever destined to be on unequal footing. Perhaps that was why he'd never see her the way he did Lily.
"You're my wife," he said simply, as though it explained everything, and honestly, it did. In binding them, Dumbledore had ensured that protecting her life became Severus's obligation.
"Thank you," she said sincerely, knowing there was a distinct possibility that she'd be dead by now if he'd not come. And that was assuming Lucius had decided to be merciful.
"I'm sorry, Hermione," Severus said gutterally, suffering in the knowledge that she had. "Did Lucius…I know the depths of depravity he's sunk to since Azkaban…."
"He didn't," Hermione assured him, grudgingly grateful to Narcissa. If she'd not been there, who knew what Bellatrix would have goeded him into daring. "It…it wasn't like with Crabbe."
"Are you certain?"
"Yes, but even if it had been, I'm not your responsibility," Hermione said stiffly, clamping down on her raging emotions even as he raised a pointed brow in censure at her tone. The sky narrowed around the edges, as though night was creeping in from all sides. "Not one you asked for or wanted, at least."
His nostrils flared and his lips thinned, but he didn't betray any other signs of taking issue with her accusation. Crisply, he said, "I protect those I care about."
Biting her lip as she weighed the timing of what she was about to say, she decided to take the plunge. It wasn't as though she was ever going to feel more raw or vulnerable than she currently did. Better to get all of the pain over with at once.
Calmly, because she wasn't angry, she knew she had no right to be. And because she didn't want him to see how the truth broke her. Shattered her to pieces.
It also helped that she'd had months to come to terms with the truth.
Hermione met his onyx gaze, and in the most even and neutral voice she could manage, she said, "Your Patronus is a doe."
His eyes widened and his lips parted for a quick inhale of surprise. And when he looked at her, seeming to wonder if she understood the significance, she willing her mind to have impenetrable walls surrounding it. She needn't have bothered. He didn't try entering her mind, hadn't in a very long time, not since he'd come to respect her at the very least. Besides, the answer he sought was plain to see, and he knew she was intelligent enough to have worked it out for herself.
"Hermione –"
"Don't. There's nothing to explain, Severus."
"Hermione, I…." he trailed off, words failing him.
"You were always perfectly frank and upfront with me," she promised, forcing a slight smile for his benefit, hoping it convinced him she was all right.
Part of her hoped he'd insist on explaining anyways, but when he looked at Harry, only barely out of hearing range, she knew he'd not risk it. He didn't want her friend learning his secrets, particularly not this one.
"You should go before he comes over and demands answers or atonement or something like that," Hermione said, watching his gaze linger on the son his true love bore with another.
Immediately, his face closed off, becoming, if possible, even more remote than usual.
"Did anyone else discover our…connection?"
"No, but Greyback and Scabior know we were captured. They were the ones to do it. They might inform him that Bellatrix and the Malfoys allowed us to escape. And Bellatrix was concerned with how we came into possession of the sword."
"Narcissa can probably convince Bellatrix that it was Potter who Stunned her, and with Draco here, Lucius should keep his mouth shut, but the other two…. It could turn into a blame game as they try to pass off the guilt of your escape," he stated flatly, concern lines creasing his brow.
"And it could all end up landing on you," she warned, though he'd obviously already come to the same conclusion. It was the logical path.
"And I thought things at Hogwarts were spiraling out of my control," he muttered wearily.
"What's happening at the school?"
"Things have gotten progressively worse in recent weeks prior to the break. I'm dreading the return of students this evening."
"It won't be too much longer before the end."
A countdown timer had started. Every second left was precious and needed to be used wisely. If not, the ending buzzer would sound and Voldemort would emerge victorious.
"No. It can't be," he said decisively, dread and a burden too heavy for him to carry alone, slumped his shoulders.
"You should go. If you're not there when the train arrives, it won't go unnoticed."
Hermione longed to touch him. A hug. A kiss. Some intimacy the way they used to share that would offer a fleeting moment of respite, but things were different now. She knew the truth, and there was no more need for pretense.
"I don't like this. There are too many loose ends. Whatever you're planning, you will need to move forward quickly. Luckily, he is out of the country, but he'll be returning within a few days. I can try to buy you another day or two after that, but I can't guarantee it and definitely no longer."
"We'll make it work without putting you at risk," Hermione declared, wondering if this was finally a way to pay him back for all the times he saved her.
A memory flowed through her mind, soft as a trickling creek. He'd once said that if Voldemort ever learned of the spell Lucius had used on them, Severus would be forced to bring her before him. She'd believed him. Dreaded it for weeks. But she knew now he never would, even if it meant not finishing Dumbledore's mission.
He'd die before he betrayed her – even if he didn't love her the way she wished he did.
They'd gotten lucky that Lucius and the few other Death Eaters there that night hadn't ever decided to tell their master about it. Probably, Lucius was too afraid. He'd fallen so far out of favor, and he couldn't be assured of Voldemort's reaction to the news, so he'd not risked it before. But he would now if it would save his skin.
"Hermione," Severus said softly, her name a gentle caress of fur that sent shivers, the pleasant kind this time, down her back.
She waited. Watched as he waged a silent battle. Saw when he lost the struggle, and knew he'd opted out of saying whatever it was that weighed on his mind.
"You should go," she repeated, using a different reason this time – one she knew would motivate him. "If you stay any longer, Harry will demand answers, unless you think it's time to tell him about whatever Dumbledore wanted you to do involving Harry," she ventured, wondering if another opportunity as convenient would happen again.
Would she even ever see Severus again? There'd never been any guarantee when they parted this last year, but this time felt different. Even more final if that was possible.
"No, it's not time yet," he said bitterly.
"When?" she pressed, her heartbeat accelerating as the pieces of that last mysterious puzzle began forming in her mind. They'd refused to fit together before, but now, just like with the doe, she thought she understood, and she wished she didn't. Denial, and a hope of being wrong, of hearing him tell her differently had her pushing further. "If you didn't notice, we're about out of time."
"Find me during the final confrontation," he requested, apparently wishing to postpone the inevitable as long as possible. But he was also asking to see her again, and she was selfish enough to leap on the opportunity, even if he didn't return her feelings.
"We will. I'll make sure of it," she vowed.
"Your arm," he said, gesturing to the limb that was so much shredded meat.
Just hearing it mentioned reminded her of how it screamed in agony.
"Not your concern," she said mildly, wondering if he was just using it as an excuse to linger. It was a girlish, fantastic imagining, but just thinking it lessened the pain a fraction.
"I never meant…"
"Just go, Severus. Don't give anyone a reason to question today before we finish this. I'm ready to be done."
With a sharp nod, he turned on the spot. Her mind turned with him, a twirling top that didn't know up from down as the air was ripped with a loud crack!
"You knew I wanted to talk to him," Harry snapped, stalking towards her.
"Harry, I…"
But right at the moment, the world spun faster, spun faster until it fell away entirely, and Hermione collapsed, darkness swallowing her whole.
