Thank you to my reviewers for my first proper criticism. I am going to continue the story, but I am bearing your thoughts in mind. I prefer not to back away, but to move on as a challenge.
I like the fact that you have told me that you didn't like it rather than just think to yourselves 'this is crap' and moved on. I hope you can all (if anyone's still reading that is) give me pointers as I go along, so that I can improve.
Thanks, Naomi.
Niama
Warnings- violence, perhaps a naughty word or so I cannot remember.
Summary- McKay is captured on an enemy planet and is helped by a young girl. Will the team be able to find him before its too late?
Disclaimer- I do not own anything in this fanfic with the exception of Niama.
John had as many off-world teams as he could searching for McKay, even though the people of Tunne had made it very clear that he was likely taken by their neighbors. He was angry at him, for not listening when he said not to wander, but was angrier at himself for not watching him more closely.
He thought back to when he'd first met McKay, in Antarctica. He had kept John on that chair for two hours working out system functions. He didn't seem cut out for field work then, John would never have even considered him for his team until after he had stepped into that energy.
"John, you've been searching for over ten hours, get some sleep."
"Elizabeth, we can't just leave him-"
"John, I am telling your team to get some rest, leave the search to the other teams."
"You cannot be serious!"
But she was, John, Teyla and Ronon had their weapons taken off them and left to rest. They had fussed, complained they had done everything McKay would have done if he was forced from his Lab, but they had been locked in separate rooms to rest.
Ronon trusted McKay. While it was true that he pushed him to the point of insanity, he always came through; but he wasn't a soldier. There were many occasions in which he had wanted to throttle the scientist, but there were also the times that he did something, proved something, that many people wouldn't have believed about him. One instance of this was onboard the Aurora. The man had gone into the system under the belief that it could kill him; this had brought a wave of respect.
Ronon had put up a hell of a fight when they were forced into their rooms. All he had to do was growl at the marines and he could see them tremble, he would never truly hurt them, but the knowledge that he could was always in the minds of the men. He had only not unleashed his full anger because they were more people to help with the search, the things they had been told about the neighboring colony were enough for him to realize how important it was that they had more men.
I'm going to stop here for now. Let loose with your thoughts, no matter what they are. Thank you.
