CHAPTER 2: EMBERSHARD


It wasn't supposed to be anything too serious.

That thought had echoed in Natsu's head for the past few days. Perhaps somehow he'd always known things would end badly for him, but not yet, not so damn soon. Especially because of a small quest, so insignificantly simple.

He and his best friend, a Dark Elf named Igneel, had been passing through Shor's Stone. They'd been spending a night in the local inn, drinking mead and reminiscing the adventures they had last summer, when a farmer came to talk to them. The farmer had found out that his wife had slept with their neighbouring blacksmith. He had forgiven his poor wife, but to keep his family's honour, he needed the blacksmith out of the picture. Rather permanently, but without any murdery. If the two travelling mages could do something to scare the blacksmith so badly that he'd leave the town, it would be perfect.

Well, already slightly drunk, they had accepted the job. Why not, that should've been easy enough. As a necromancer, Igneel had got a brilliant idea. They'd resurrect a Draugr from the nearby barrow and lead it to the blacksmith's door at night, that should frighten the man shitless. However, choosing a Draugr overlord for the task had been a little too much.

It had seemed good at first. Everything had gone according to the plan until the blacksmith picked up his sword and attacked the Draugr, not scared at all. The noise had woken up half the village. Igneel had lost control over the Draugr, it had struck the blacksmith to the leg with its rusty blade, then charged at everyone else. Natsu had thrown firebolts at the thing, but few shots had missed, setting a house or two aflame. As if it wasn't bad enough, the damned Imperials arrived at the chaotic scene, and arrested them both.

And without any further trials, they were sentenced to die.

'Mages like you are too dangerous to be left alive', they had said. But killing only one of them had been their greatest mistake.

And now, everything was a blur. Black, endless blur.

When twilight fell on the forest, Natsu was still shivering from shock. His toes and fingers were freezing, but he didn't dare to build a campfire. Not yet. The black dragon had recently soared over them and flown north, but it didn't mean it was gone. How could a dragon even exist? Natsu didn't know. He could barely understand it had been a real, living thing, when everything still felt like a nightmare he couldn't wake from.

The blonde girl in a torn, yellow dress sat next to him, legs brought to her chest, resting her head on her knees. She was still sobbing, and it made his head ring. Natsu had tried to ignore it, tried to shush when she got too loud, but nothing seemed to work. He hated it when women cried. Bad memories.

"C-could you… could you just… shut up," he muttered to the girl, failing to not sound rude. "W-wailing won't bring your… your parents back, but the… the dragon, it's still..."

The girl lifted her head from her knees, giving him a grim glare. Her brown eyes were bloodshot and swollen, glistening as she wept. She sunk her fingers into the cold moss underneath her as her body tensed when he spoke.

"Just… stop crying," Natsu told as the girl kept staring at her. He didn't know how to comfort her, when he wanted to scream his lungs out as well. He only wanted her to keep quiet before his head would explode. "I'm sick of… listening to… that."

"Y-you cried too," she retorted, her trembling voice filling with waking anger. "When… When they chopped your friend's head off, you cried… too."

Natsu shook his head, feeling a strike in his heart. "I didn't –"

"My father…" she started and took a deep, shivering breath. "He said a man should face his death with… with courage instead of… wailing like a milk-drinker."

Natsu silenced. Damned Nords with their ideals about honourable, courageous death. Natsu had long ago learnt to hide his tears from this cold, ruthless world, but couldn't a man show his grief when his dearest friend gets brutally executed right in front of his eyes? Because at that moment, the world had been way too merciless. Natsu hoped that the girl didn't share her father's values. Otherwise, he wouldn't stand the journey to Winterhold with her, if she still wanted to join the Mage's College.

"Damn you, Nord girl," he muttered, the stutter from his speech clearing up when he spoke quietly enough. A brief silence fell. The girl snifled, wiping her eyes and suffocating a few sobs into her hands. Then she lowered them, glancing at him.

"M-my name is Lucy, not a Nord girl," she whispered through the tears, catching Natsu's attention.

"Luigi?"

"Lucy!" she hissed.

Natsu nodded slowly. It was a rare name for a Nord, but she certainly was one. Her fair skin and hair left no room for doubt. He didn't know who she had been before this happened, but she didn't represent Natsu's image about Nords. Being a Breton himself, he knew them as hot-blooded warriors, but Lucy, who wanted to be a wizard, didn't seem like that.

Well, Natsu hadn't even known many Nords in his eighteen years of life. There had once been a Nord named Erza, a warrior from the Companions, who he'd brawled with. She had broken his bones, and his ribs still ached if he laughed hard enough. Then, there was Gray, a crazy frost mage from the College. To put it simply, Natsu hated his whole existence. So, Natsu didn't quite know what to expect from Lucy. If she wouldn't hit too hard or annoy him to death, it would be great.

"Well, Lucy," he started, daring to speak a bit louder than before. "We have to sit in this cold, mossy shithole until it gets dark, so could we… talk, maybe? But please, about something else than… well, things that would make us cry."

Natsu was sure by then that the dragon wouldn't come for them. If it hadn't heard Lucy's weeping, it wouldn't hear them speaking. And the longer he'd sit there quietly, the more excruciating his grief would grow. A little distraction, anything, anything would be better than this haunting silence. Because in that silence, Natsu could only see Igneel's head rolling down the plaza, blood spraying from his neck, the wicked grin on the headman's face –

"Why… Why were you there?" she asked, causing him to turn his gaze at her, the chain of distressing visions dissolving for a while. "Why… were you sentenced to die?"

"For burning half of Shor's Stone," he answered bluntly, and the girl's eyes widened. "W-why looking at me like that? What did you think I did? Killed a chicken in Riverwood or something?"

"I… I didn't think you were actually a criminal," she mumbled, sounding a bit terrified. "Great... so now I'm stuck in this cold s-shithole with a... pyromancer."

Natsu's eyes narrowed. He wouldn't describe himself as a criminal. He always did what he thought was truly right, even if it meant breaking some laws along the way. Still, there was no denying he caused some unnecessary destruction every now and then. Fire was like that, uncontrollable and wild. Just like him.

"Listen here, I'm not a thug, a thief, or an assassin or… something," Natsu assured. "It was an accident. The Shor's Stone thing. It's the Imperials you should... be afraid of. The bastards killed my best friend and enjoyed it, I fucking saw it in their eyes."

She was silent for a moment. The fear in her eyes flickered out. Somehow, she was convinced, and somehow, she trusted it had truly been an accident. "I've seen it too," Lucy answered with a shaky breath. "I know the real face of the Empire."

Trembling, Natsu nodded. He hadn't cared about the civil war until now. He hadn't cared who would rule the country until now. But after this day he saw everything in a different light. Because if not for the Imperials, Igneel would still be alive. If the Stormcloak forces had solved the little accident at Shor's Stone, some bounty for arson would've been enough.

"If the dragon hadn't burned them, I would've," he mumbled into his cold hands. "Damn insane fucks. Shit, I think I'll have to join the Stormcloaks now, to show them not to mess with mages. Yes, that would do it. It would avenge Igneel's death... Killing all of them to the last man..."

The girl stared at him in silence, letting him mumble out his anger. For now, those were only words, something to keep him from setting the world on fire. Too often, his rage manifested in flame – and today, there had been enough of it.

"Why did you save me?" the girl asked suddenly, stopping his cursing. "You... You didn't have to. You could've just... escaped, and left me to die. Why risk your life... for me?"

Silent, Natsu turned his eyes to her, and thought for an answer. When the cloud of barely-reigned rage began to subside, he realised that he didn't know it himself. Survival instinct had driven his actions, and somehow reached out to her as well.

"I saw you on the porch, looking like… like you didn't belong there," Natsu answered, recalling the morning which seemed like a lifetime ago. "And when you were still alive I thought I'd… help you out."

Lucy's confused gaze stayed on him for a while. A hint of gratitude lingered in her eyes.

"So... what are we going to do now?" she asked then. "It's getting cold and dark. Should we go to Whiterun? It's near, has strong walls and a lot of soldiers. If the dragon comes back."

Natsu scoffed. "You'd really take a death row prisoner to Whiterun? There are Imperials there. It's... It's not like the dragon made my sentence go away."

"Any other ideas? We're freezing to death here."

Natsu thought for a moment. He didn't know the area well, but they had to find shelter soon. The Imperials had taken his weapons and coins, and the girl didn't have anything with her. She wouldn't survive in a torn dress. They had to find some equipment, and one place came to Natsu's mind.

"There's a run-down mine nearby. Embershard."

Puzzled, Lucy raised her brow. "Isn't it full of bandits?"

"Nothing I can't handle," Natsu assured. "Let's smoke them out, take their stuff, stay there overnight and leave at dawn. We could go to Riverwood, and from there to Windhelm before heading to Winterhold."

"Sounds... dangerous."

As Lucy lowered her eyes to the ground, Natsu understood she didn't buy his plan. But it was the only option they got. If they'd wander aimlessly in the dark forest, they'd end up dead. And despite losing his best friend, Natsu didn't want to die. No matter how horrible it felt, he couldn't give up now.

Igneel wouldn't want that.

"Bandits are nothing compared to what we just survived," Natsu said. "It'll soon be dark enough to move safely. We just... hold on a little while."

Lucy stared at him for a moment, but then she nodded hesitantly. "Okay," she whispered, causing a stone to roll from Natsu's shoulders. He was glad she accepted it. He didn't want to leave her alone either.

"You'd... still like to talk about... something?" he asked then, but Lucy turned her eyes away and shook her head. He accepted that, too. At least she wasn't crying anymore.

For now, silence was good enough.


By the time the night fell, Lucy's whole body ached from crouching under the pines. A wolf howled in the distance; a clear sign that their hiding place wasn't safe anymore, but Lucy waited for the mage to make the first move. She trusted he'd know better when to get going.

While they sat there in silence, Lucy's heart grew cold and numb along with her fingers. The sharpest shock wore off as everything became cloudy, like mist enveloping the forest in the autumn morning. It all seemed like a bizarre dream: the dragon attacking the city, her parents burning alive, escaping through the flames... such things couldn't really happen. It all had to be just a dream.

Strange calmness filled her mind as she lulled into that belief. It all was just a dream. Perhaps she had run away from home and crossed paths with this travelling mage who would take her to the College. Almost like she had always imagined.

"We should get moving now," the mage whispered, interrupting the trail of Lucy's thoughts. Brought back to the present moment in the cold, dark forest, Lucy let her gaze meet the mage's as she nodded.

Following his example, Lucy rose up and stretched her limbs. She wiped moss and spruce needles from her dress, noticing how badly it had torn. It had once reached her ankles but now it barely covered her knees. Scratches filled her bare shins but she couldn't feel any pain.

She couldn't feel anything, really.

The mage started heading in a direction opposite from where they had come. There weren't any paths on the forest floor to follow, but Lucy hoped he knew where to go. She hadn't been outside Helgen's walls at night, and couldn't navigate in the darkness. The mage fumbled forward for a while before glimpsing a clearing, which turned out to be a road.

The road from Helgen to Riverwood, the one Lucy had walked many times.

As she stepped out of the forest after the mage, Lucy raised her eyes to the sky. Thousands and thousands of stars sparkled against the black velvet, accompanied by the two moons, Masser and Secunda. The sight brought comfort to Lucy. A familiar road with a familiar night sky.

Lucy caught the mage staring at the silhouette of the Bleak Falls Barrow, contrasting against the night sky, on the other side of a river. He had stopped, his brow furrowing as if he was deep in thought. Moonlight shone on his face, letting Lucy study his features for a moment. Especially his large, dark eyes caught her attention, a magical mystery unravelled behind his gaze.

"Embershard mine is somewhere here," he said, voice shaking. His teeth rattled against each other as he trembled restlessly to keep warm. "I remember those ruins."

Lucy didn't answer as he pulled a hood over his head and disappeared into the night with his dark robes. Quickly, she followed him. She didn't want to get lost in the woods alone. The mage left the road again and walked into the forest, heading towards the bedrock's face near them.

She had a vague idea of where the mine was supposed to be. She had passed by many times on her way to Riverwood, but never at night. Her father had said it was a dangerous place overrun by outlaws. She would've been afraid to go there before, but now nothing seemed to scare her. If the worst imaginable thing had already happened to her, what could a few bandits do? Nothing.

Torchlight glowed in the middle of the forest, fluttering against the pines. The mage slowed down to silence the cracking sticks and rustling leaves beneath his feet. A shadow moved on the ground as someone kept guard at the mine's entrance.

The mage didn't give any warning as purple light appeared on his palm. Lucy's eyes widened as he shot it forward, summoning a portal where a flaming creature passed through. In the shape of a demonic woman, a flame atronach appeared right in front of the mine. Lucy heard a scream, followed by running steps as the guard ran away.

Lucy turned to the mage as he chuckled quietly. "So you're a pyromancer and a conjurer?" she asked.

The flame atronach gave up chasing the bandit and floated closer to them. Lucy flinched as she felt its heat on her skin, and stared at it in awe. She had never seen a Daedra before. It was beautiful, but terrifying at the same time.

"Not really," the mage answered. He closed the portal with a swift move of a hand and the creature disappeared. "I focus on fire-based destruction magic, but I conjure flame atronachs sometimes. They're... well, helpful."

Lucy looked at him, trying to recall his name. He had said it earlier, but Lucy's mind couldn't hold onto it. She could only remember him telling how he burned half of the Shor's Stone. It had made her nervous at first, but it didn't bother her anymore. He had said he wasn't a bad guy, and Lucy wanted to believe that.

She didn't really have any other choice than to believe that.

"I'd like... to learn conjuration too," Lucy whispered abruptly while staring at him. "My great-grandmother Anna was a conjurer. A very good one."

"Really? That's..." he said, looking down to avoid her eyes. "I don't know many Nord conjurers, but if she was good, then you might have some talent. Good luck with that."

His tone wasn't mocking, but not supportive either. Lucy deemed he was still in shock and couldn't find anything proper to say. So was she. Mumbling about her great-grandmother to a perfect stranger? It had been a secret she shouldn't have spilt.

Every time she had talked with a mage, her parents had been nearby, but now they were gone. She could talk about magic to her heart's content. Her words were still shaky, her mind in a blur, but magic had always been her biggest dream. It managed to pierce through the haze and grab Lucy's hand, pull her back to the surface before she'd fall into bottomless pit of grief.

"Do you know any other magic?" Lucy asked, curiosity seeping through her. The mage furrowed his brow, surprised by her sudden chattiness.

"Some restoration spells," he answered with a one-sided shrug. "Healing, you know. It's useful. And I can conjure a dagger. I used to have a glass dagger with me, but the bastards took it."

Lucy nodded. She had read a little about the different schools of magic, but she lacked any hands-on experience about them. Seeing him casting those fireballs had been the first time she saw anyone using magic. He seemed skilled, but well, not just anyone could be accepted to the College of Winterhold. Perhaps he could teach her something before they'd make it there?

"Anyway, we should carry on," the mage said, gesturing towards the mine. "There's probably more bandits there, but I'll smoke them out somehow. There's been enough death today."

The mage walked to the mine's door and left it open as he stepped in. Suddenly, she hesitated as old fears surged over her. She had always been told to avoid situations like this – just gods knew what the bandits would do to her if the mage failed to chase them away. Maybe she shouldn't do this. Extra pair of hands would always be needed in Riverwood Trader, if she'd choose safety over adventures.

But, shaking her head, Lucy decided not to need safety anymore. Safety had become her cage, strangling her like chains.

Warmth surged into her freezing bones as she stepped into the mine. The air smelled of moist earth and strong ale, and torches fluttered on the walls of the tunnel. Lucy could only see a shadow of the mage as he had hurried forward. She walked after him, trying hard to memorise his name. She didn't want to ask it again.

Lucy reached the mage at the entrance of a greater chamber. Crouching where the tunnel ended, he collected some moss and mushrooms from the ground and prepared them in a ball. Lucy frowned, struggling to understand what he was doing.

Then a single spark from the mage's fingertip set the ball on fire, puffing a cloud of black smoke in the air. She heard chatter coming from below them, but didn't dare to peek past the corner.

"The idiots will think the mine is on fire and flee through the back end," he whispered. Then he tossed the ball to the ground and took a few steps back. The murmur grew louder as the bandits smelled the smoke, but Lucy couldn't separate the words. They sounded alert.

And by accident, Lucy couched as the smoke found its way into her lungs.

'Is someone there?'

"Fuck," the mage cursed silently as one of the bandits noticed him and picked up his axe. Lucy tried to apologise, but words got stuck in her throat. The mage stamped on the ball to put out the fire, exposing their hiding place at the same.

Two rough-looking men appeared behind the smoke. The other one, a slim, red-haired man had a look in his eyes which evoked sickness in Lucy's stomach. This was exactly what she'd been warned about. As if he was hungry, but not for food. For her.

"Tor, kill the boy while I catch the girl," the bandit said to his friend. "It has been a while since I've gotten a taste of a woman so pretty. Our lovely ladies look like filthy beasts."

The mage raised his arm in front of Lucy to keep her back. She gasped as he enveloped his body in a cloak of flames before charging forward. He brought his hands together, casting a fireball between them and throwing it toward the bandit. The man screamed as it caught him, the force of the impact swaying him off his feet.

The other bandit froze and stared at the mage with a fearful gaze. Showing no mercy, he grabbed the man from the neck, pouring fire straight into his body. Lucy shrieked as she watched flames gnawing away his skin, the pink turning into charcoal black. Almost like a dragon, the mage let his fire burn his enemies alive.

The mage let go of the man. He fell lifelessly to the ground, his fur armour still flaming. The other bandit rose behind the mage, his shaking fingers clutched to the handle of his axe.

"Son of a –"

He couldn't finish his curse, for the mage turned around with another fireball readied in his hands. With full force, he tossed it at him, sending him flying to the back end of the chamber. Lucy could hear only a painful crack and distant groaning as the man hit the ground.

And as he rose no more, Lucy knew he was dead.

Flames surrounding the mage dissolved. He wiped his forehead and glanced at Lucy. At an utter loss of words, she just stared at him, trembling.

He had said he wasn't a criminal, but here he was with two dead bodies on his account.

"You... You said you wouldn't kill them," Lucy mumbled, lowering her gaze from the mage's dark eyes to the corpse by his feet. "You said you would smoke them out, not... kill them..."

The mage crouched by the body and lit the remains on fire. The flames intensified, beginning to turn the corpse into ashes. The smell of burning human flesh filled the chamber like it had filled the streets of Helgen. Lucy shook her head as tears welled up in her eyes, tears she thought she had already run out of.

"Well, I tried," he answered and moved to the second corpse, to cremate it as well. Flames devoured the remains faster than Lucy had ever seen anything burn. "I tried not to fight them. Trust me, I don't kill unless I have to. These are outlaws, living by the rule kill or be killed. There is no other choice than to live by that as well when meeting them."

"We could have asked them -"

"Ask them what?" he wondered, stepping away from the burning body. "Should we have been like, 'hey, sorry, would you please be so kind and let us stay in your mine for a night? And you'd be so kind you wouldn't rape our fucking arses and slaughter us while we sleep?' It doesn't work like that with these people. These were the real criminals, not me."

Lucy admitted in silence. He was right. The bandits would have killed him, captured her and... she didn't even want to think about it. Whatever it would've been, this was better than that. Even though it felt so wrong in Lucy's heart. He had saved her at the cost of two lives, yet she struggled to feel gratitude about it. Only shock.

"Okay," she let out a long sigh. "Is there... anyone else?"

The mage looked around, listening closely for any noises, but there was only silence. Lucy walked closer to him. It seemed they were alone now, but Lucy knew they shouldn't lower their guard yet. They shouldn't lower their guard ever again.

"So... you still want to come with me to Winterhold?" the mage asked suddenly.

Lucy's eyes shot to him. His question was sincere, a hint of guilt seeping through his words. Lucy looked him into the eyes, comparing his gaze to the way the bandit had glared at her. There wasn't that kind of evil or malice in his eyes. There wasn't any kind of evil at all.

"Yes," Lucy answered. "I want to."

He nodded as an answer and turned away, heading to the fireplace the bandits had built. He looked into the kettle and chuckled, as if to distract himself from the deaths, to pretend that he didn't care.

"Well, there's some… stew, I guess. Gods, it has been days since I last ate. Are you hungry?" he asked, then looked over his shoulder. The little joy in his eyes died as he saw her pale face. "Oh, yeah, I'll understand if you don't quite feel like eating…"

Suddenly, right then, Lucy remembered his name.

He was Natsu.

From now on to forever his name would mean freedom to her. Vast, inviting, but terrifying freedom.