Kids had always been part of the plan, originally.

Aren't they, for most people?

Juliet had always imagined having a family. But isn't that the way life goes? People just assume that they'll live their life in accordance with society's expectations: go to college, get a job, get married, have kids. So she'd just always imagined it as part of the trajectory of her life.

When Shawn proposed to her, he'd even said it.

"And kids, probably before we're sixty," he had said in reference to the earlier conversation.
"Oh, way, way before sixty," she'd said confidently.

When the engagement went on for three years, she started to wonder. It's not that she was in any kind of rush – really, she wasn't – but maybe that was the problem. She was getting older as the years went by, no ring, no wedding – and it didn't really worry her that they were getting older and they might really be sixty before getting around to having kids at this point.

When they finally got married at the dock, kids seemed like the next logical step.

But how? How could that be the next step? She can't imagine it. She can't imagine being pregnant and working as a detective, putting herself in danger. She can't imagine having a baby at home and returning to a dangerous job where she often faces death, while Shawn himself is also always gallivanting about and coming face to face with danger.

But then Selene is pregnant, and that gets things fueled. Everyone assumes that Juliet and Shawn are going to have a baby, too. They just got married, after years of waiting, they've been together even longer, known each other even longer than that, so everyone assumes it's the next step. And Gus, who is Shawn's very best friend in the world who he does everything with, is having a baby. Of course, everyone thinks he and Shawn will become parents together, raise their families together, the happily ever after to their BFF love story - and maybe they could even get that connecting pool, after all. It almost seems too perfect of an opportunity that no one second guesses that Juliet will be the next to get pregnant.

She's flabbergasted when Shawn stands in front of a suspect with a gun pointed at her, telling him that he will not shoot his wife, that she's pregnant – because she most definitely is not.

(In the back of her mind, she can't forget how he stood in front of her – in all their years, he's always respected that she's the cop and she can take care of herself. She can't forget how protective he suddenly was.)

"I'm not ready," she blurts out suddenly to Shawn, later that night, after their exchange at the crime scene where they both declared they weren't even a little bit disappointed that it was Selene who was having a baby and not her.

She watches Shawn's face carefully as several emotions seem to show themselves. Confusion, understanding, relief… disappointment? She's not quite sure about that last one, but she thinks she sees it there. And honestly, she kind of feels it herself. She thought that she would be ready for this. She's married, and heading into her forties. If she's not ready now, will she ever be ready in time? There's a time sensitivity issue on these things, after all.

Shawn, as always, is understanding. "No, Jules, hey. Let's let Gus take this one," he says as he puts his hands to her cheek and brushes a stray strand of hair away. "I mean, after all – look who you're talking to."

Sometimes she thinks that he hides behind that reputation he has – that Shawn Spencer is immature and scared of commitment.

"It's just – we have each other. And our jobs, right? They take a lot out of us, but they're rewarding."

Shawn agrees. "Our jobs are fulfilling," he says.

"Right!" Juliet agrees, though she's not so sure how he feels about psychphrancisco. It definitely doesn't give him the same thrills that Pysch did, he doesn't have the same in with the San Francisco police department like he did in Santa Barbara, and she can see that Gus is going to be a lot less of a presence very soon.

"And they don't leave a lot of time for parenting," she continues, wondering if she's trying to convince him or herself. "Plus, we're in danger all the time. What if we have someone at home depending on us?"

"We don't have to have kids," he tells her confidently, without even a falter. "We have each other."

She nods, and though she feels somewhat sad at this choice, she also feels relief. "Yeah. We do."

So they leave it at that.

Baby Guster is born in the most unconventional of ways possible.

She'd though her dock wedding was the definition of impromptu, but Gus and Selene's virtual wedding in a sealed shut room mid-labor definitely takes the cake.

Shawn has mostly recovered from the childbirth – he finally gets cleaned up and he seems to relax. She has to admit, she understands. She's not interested in having anyone else's bodily fluids all over her hands, quite honestly, maybe another indication she's not ready to be a parent. But there's her godson, who is only minutes old and covered in more gunk than Shawn, and she's falling in love with him rapidly.

When Shawn gets over it and finally makes his way over to meet his godson (again), properly this time, she smiles as she watches him interact with the baby. He catches her watching him momentarily and their eyes lock as she gives him a soft smile that he returns.

Selene and baby, along with Gus, are transported to the hospital. Gus is wearing a grin that can't be wiped off his face and Juliet loves to see him so happy and proud. She can't believe how many years she's know these two now, how many of their antics she's gotten involved in, how she's come to accept whatever they get into (like a fight in the bathroom during dinner) but it gives her a surge of pride to see Gus become a father.

"I delivered a baby, Jules," Shawn informs her as he drops an arm around her shoulders.

"You did," she tells him with a laugh and a grin.

"Without looking."

She quirks an eyebrow at her husband. "Without looking?"

"Gus said I wasn't allowed to look."

Juliet just shakes her head, another of the antics she's gotten used to after more than a decade. "You probably should've looked," she notes.

Shawn just chuckles, kisses her on the temple and says, "Don't tell Gus, but I did peek." She playfully drops her jaw, feigning shock, and he laughs. "I didn't want to drop him! They never would've chosen us for godparents!"

She laughs and sighs contentedly. "Godparents."

He studies her for a moment. She doesn't look at him, but she can feel his gaze intently on her. "Changing your mind?" he asks softly.

"No," she says quickly, but the confidence is faltering. "You?"

"No way," he says and she doesn't believe it for a second.

The first few months, she holds steady in her decision.

When she sees Gus and Selene, sleep deprived and chugging coffee as if their lives depend on it, it's easy.

When Selene gives her the lowdown on childbirth and recovery, and all the things they never tell you, there's no doubt in her mind.

When her godson screams and cries for hours on end and nothing his parents or godparents do can console him, she feels like they've made the absolute wisest decision.

But at the same time, she can't help but notice the love in Gus and Selene's eyes. How they look at each other in exasperation, at times, but also like they have a little secret that only the two of them can understand. How they're worn down, exhausted, and covered in spit-up but it's clear they feel it's the best thing they've ever done.

The resolve starts to crumble when the baby learns how to smile.

When he laughs for the first time, and she's there to witness it.

When she holds him and he smells so good.

When they can see Gus in him so clearly and it amazes her how life works.

When she can't help but fawn over the tiny little outfits, the little hats, the shoes he doesn't need yet. When she spoils him with a wardrobe that he's going to outgrow all too soon but she can't resist.

She watches Shawn, carefully. She sees how he makes faces at the baby and how he gets a kick out of how it makes him laugh. She notices the pride on his face when, on more than one occasion, he's the only one who can console him. She watches him try and figure out, for hours, how to make a onesie with the word 'psych' on it in green letters. She listens to him talk about coaching t-ball one day, because Gus isn't going to do it, that's for sure.

She falls in love with him more and more watching this, and she finds herself imagining how she might feel if it was their own child. How she'd like to see Shawn coach their kid's t-ball team. How she's curious about how it would feel to see their baby take after them. How she can imagine toting around a child in psych paraphernalia.

It still lingers at the back of her mind; how can she have this job, be a cop, and be a mom? What if she gets hurt in the line of duty? It makes her think of Carlton, how he'd had a crisis of confidence when he knew Marlowe was expecting. Then in the end, his worst fear had nearly become a reality when he got shot. She gets it now. It's hard to go out there and put yourself in danger if someone is at home, depending on you. She suddenly realizes it's not that she doesn't want to have a child, necessarily – it's that she's terrified.

"Hey, Partner."

She grins when Carlton's face pops onto the screen. She feels a sense of gratitude and appreciation every time she gets to see his face, to see he's still here with them and he's doing well. He may never be able to handle the position of chief of police again, but he's alive and he's walking and he's still working on getting stronger.

"You look good!" she tells him with a grin. Sometimes it saddens her, that they're all in San Francisco now – Karen, Shawn, Gus, and herself – but Carlton got left behind in Santa Barbara. She knows he's not that far away, that he's in a happy marriage and has an amazing daughter. She knows Henry checks in on him regularly. But some days she feels like they all picked up and left without him, not knowing how he would eventually need them more than ever. How he wouldn't be at their impromptu weddings and childbirths.

"Feelin' good!" he tells her, and she can tell he's in good spirits today.

After they chat a little and discuss pleasantries, she broaches the subject. "Hey, I have a question." She bits her lip and picks at the sleeve of her shirt nervously before she blurts it out. "I just – how did you get past your fears of being a police officer and being a parent?"

"Are you and Spencer-"

"No, no!" she says quickly. "I mean, not yet." It feels kind of strange to her that she's reconsidering this topic without even talking to Shawn. But then again, didn't he lie to her for years about being psychic?

(She can always get out of any argument about telling the truth by using that one.)

"I'm thinking about it," she says. She decides to lay it all out there. "Actually, we decided that we didn't want to have kids." She searches her former partner's face for sign of a reaction. "But then lately I've been thinking about it. Y'know, Gus's baby is around all the time and it's really made me think. I think I'm just afraid."

"Everyone's afraid to be a parent," Carlton reminds her.

"Yes, but… with our jobs?"

He gets it. "Look, Juliet. If I've learned anything in the past few years…" he trails off momentarily to gather his words. "The job can't be your whole identity, because when it vanishes, you feel lost." She nods, sadly, keeping the tears at bay. She wishes so much he was closer so she could be there for him. He continues, "I'm lucky to have my family. I'm learning to let go of the job - at least, the way it was. But my family brings me joy every day. Without them I'd have nothing right now."

She nods in understanding, his words starting to confirm what she's been feeling deep inside. "I get it."

When she slides into bed that night, Shawn is looking at something on his phone and chuckling. She raises her eyebrow in curiosity, so he holds the phone out to her. She's suddenly looking at the day's set of baby photos Gus sent. Every day, there seems to be a compilation of the day's best shots. Juliet sees what Shawn is laughing at.

"That hat!" she gushes.

"Isn't it adorable?" Shawn agrees, and she sees a softness to him that she loves.

"It's way too big."

"He can grow into it. In case he has Gus's forehead," Shawn jokes and Juliet jabs him gently.

"Be nice," she says through a laugh, even though she knows Shawn and Gus tease each other and have their running bits, the forehead being one of them.

She settles down under the comforter and watches as Shawn scrolls through the pics several times, really taking them in. She watches his facial expressions and how he laughs and smiles at certain photos.

She gets a sudden burst of courage and decides to go with it. "What if I changed my mind?"

It's like she doesn't have to clarify any further, like he gets it instantly – has he been expecting this? Has he maybe been hoping for it?

He puts down his phone on the nightstand and turns to her. "I told you we could change our minds."

"We," she reminds him. "We can change our minds. What about you?"

There's a long pause, and she thinks he's trying to figure out the right words to say so she lets it hang in the air. "Jules, I… I don't know that my mind was ever made up."

She bites her lip and nods, as this is something she somehow suspected, deep down.

When they started telling everyone they weren't planning to become parents, everyone seemed to nod knowingly, as if they assumed it was the eternally immature Shawn who didn't want kids. But deep in her gut, she suspected it was her that really felt the strongest about it.

"You know how I am," Shawn continues. "Responsibility scares me." She huffs a laugh of agreement. "When you said you weren't sure, I guess it sounded good to me because I could avoid having to make the commitment. And if having a baby isn't really what you want – honestly, that's okay, too. But I do think about it, sometimes. Raising a kid with you."

She remembers how she told him that if they couldn't say the words having a baby, they probably weren't ready for it. But he just slid the phrase in there without so much as a stutter. "But if it is what I want?" She knows she has to be grown up, too. "Having a baby?" she asks, and he smiles at her and she thinks he understands the meaning behind her use of the term.

He takes a deep breath. "I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified."

She laughs. "Oh my God, me too."

"But that's normal – right?"

She thinks back to Carlton, to Gus and Selene at the beginning, to her brothers. "You know… I think it is."

"It seems a lot less scary after you've delivered one," Shawn muses.

Juliet shakes her head. "You didn't even look!"

"I peeked, Jules! I peeked! I saw – and felt – enough."

She laughs and reaches for his hand. "I'm scared, because of my job. Our jobs. I come face to face with criminals on the daily, I've had more guns pointed at me in my lifetime than anyone should ever have. And then on top of that, you find yourself mixed up in a lot of dangerous situations and…"

"I know," he says in understanding, squeezing her hand and running a finger over her wedding band. "I was actually thinking about that."

"About you ending up in dangerous situations?"

"No. Well… yeah. Not that specifically, but the job. I could easily take it down a notch. Gus doesn't have time to solve crimes with me right now. I could just be like, a normal private detective."

It's been enough years now that she can joke about it. "You mean, you're not psychic?" she teasingly gasps in mock outrage.

Shawn moves right past her joke - his guilt still, and always, real. "I can just, y'know, trail husbands and wives to find out if they're actually having affairs. No murders. Safer stuff."

"I know you, Shawn," she laughs. "Nothing's safe. You'll still be out there with a gun pointed at you."

"Not if we have a kid at home."

He looks so serious about this, and it's clear he's put thought into this, already. She knows psychphrancisco isn't the same, she knows now that Gus is a husband and a father, things have changed even more.

She knows she'll still have some fear about her own dangerous job, but honestly some part of her settles at knowing Shawn might put himself in safer situations.

She remembers something that Gus told her, that when Shawn had thought it was her that was pregnant and not Selene, that his first thought had been that he had to replace the windows in the loft because they weren't safe for a baby.

When he thought a gun was being pointed at his pregnant wife, he refused to move out of the way.

He's going to be a good father.

"Damn. We shouldn't have used the name Starfish on the dog."

"Honey, we were never going to name a child Starfish."

"It's a good name!" he insists, and there's a momentary pause as the moment turns serious again.

"Are we… are we doing this?" she asks through a shaky breath.

"We can start trying right now if you want."

Her face flushes and she laughs, relieved for the humor in the moment. "I mean, it doesn't really work that fast just like that."

"Practice, then," he suggests, advancing on her with a grin. "We should practice."

"Well, practice I'm cool with," she says with a grin of her own.

And there's the moment when she hears her child's first cry when it all makes sense.

Everyone says it, but it's true – the baby's tinier than they had ever imagined. Despite having seen newborn babies before, she somehow even seems tinier and smaller (and more perfect) when she's their own.

The baby lets out a cry and Juliet's laughing through her tears. Shawn is grinning at her and grinning at the baby and he looks at her with that look, the one she recalls seeing between Gus and Selene, like they have a secret understanding about the world.

Maybe they do.

It's still scary. They're responsible for this baby's life, and everything is going to change.

But right now, in this moment, neither of them cares. They don't think about how their life will change, what might be different, what they may have to give up or adapt to because already none of that is more important than the love they have for this child.

Later, when she wakes up from a light sleep, she sees Shawn holding the baby and talking softly to her. She smiles at him sleepily and he returns it before looking back down at their little girl.

Yeah – their lives could've been full and rewarding without a child, but in this instant, she can't imagine that this was ever not part of the plan because it feels like it was all meant to be.

"Daddy, Grandpa says I should always count how many hats I see."

Shawn wants to laugh, but instead he holds a straight face. "Yeah, Sweetie. That's a good idea."

He knows when they visit his dad and Shawn slips away, Henry grills their daughter on the things that she sees. He thought it would bother him, but honestly – it doesn't. He has to admit that Henry's training has given him the opportunity to do a lot of good, to get himself out of some sticky situations. Not that he appreciated some of his training techniques, but, things with his dad are good now. He knows that he would never put the same pressure on his own child, nor will her grandfather, but he doesn't mind a little bit of encouragement for her to be observant of her surroundings, especially as a girl in an ever-changing world.

"Close your eyes," he says and she giggles and does so immediately. Shawn used to find it annoying when his dad did this to him, but she just loves to play the game. "How many hats did you see?"

She thinks, puts on her thoughtful face, and Shawn can see Juliet in her so, so clearly. It blows his mind, still, even after five years, that this little girl he gets to call his daughter just happens to look so much like Juliet, how lucky he is to be able to have a child with this woman he's completely crazy about, what an honor it is that his child looks just like her because she is hers, too.

"Three."

"What colors?"

"The white hat on the baby, the blue cap on the little boy and the cowboy hat on the man."

Shawn laughs because indeed, there is an old man dressed head to toe in cowboy gear. He's not going to get into the nitty gritty specifics like his dad, defining the difference between a hat and a cap.

"Okay. How many dogs?"

"Two!" she says with a squeal. Her love of dogs would make her aware of dogs in her surroundings no matter what.

"Polar bears?"

"Daddy!" she laughs and giggles, opening her eyes. "None."

"What? It's not impossible."

"In the park it is!"

Shawn remembers a time he lugged a polar bear around with him in a trailer. He's definitely got some stories to tell her when she's older. "Never say never."

Those days seem so long ago. Not that he would change them for anything, but he can't imagine doing something like that (hey – he saved a polar bear, after all) now. His cases are much, much simpler now. He's asked to find out if husbands and wives are having affairs, to track down long lost birth parents, he's even found some lost pets. He stays away from the danger – he's got a reason to be alive, now.

In the beginning he thought he might miss the adventures of solving murders, running around reckless without a second thought; but he doesn't. His dad once told him that male friendship ends at fatherhood but he and Gus have defied the odds. The phase of their lives where they solve murders together may be over, but now they're raising kids together and it works out just fine.

He's a grown ass man now. He wakes up early now, sometimes before it's even light out, to get her up and fed and off to school on time. He finds he actually has opinions on furniture and ottomans now (what is this trend about using ottomans for tables?!). He and Juliet are in the midst of a great debate about which new couch to get. He's probably going to give in and let her get the one she wants, but he's going to try and state his case for the couch she hates a couple days longer. He walks through the park holding his little girl's hand.

His little girl. He has a daughter. Sometimes it's still hard to believe.

"How many steps do we have now?"

He looks down at his daughter and then at his watch. "Since we got to the park the park – 1,200."

Her eyes widen at the large number. "Whoa. How many does Uncle Gus have?"

"Less," Shawn says confidently, even without checking Gus's stats for the day. They like to compete with him. They enjoy these summer days when they can get in an evening walk before the sun goes down. Gus is busy with the new baby, so Shawn is pretty confident they're beating him, although he's pretty sure Gus is cheating by walking in circles when rocking the baby to sleep.

Shawn feels lucky that Gus is here, in San Francisco, with his wife and family. How had he gotten so lucky that he followed Juliet here, but then Gus followed him here? They may not have (yet) achieved their dream of a pool connecting their yards (apparently it lowers property value and there's building codes and other insane red tape), but they still have time.

And he has a wife that's his best friend, too, that he gets to go home to and sleep next to every night.

Juliet grins at them from across the park and waves. His hand is suddenly lonely as their little girl takes off running for Juliet, bounding into her arms for a hug. Juliet lifts her up and kisses her on the head.

"Hi Mommy!" she squeals. "Did you catch any bad guys?"

"Always," she tells her, gently brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "You two didn't get ice-cream without me, did you?"

"Of course not!" she laughs, as if it's an absolutely ludicrous idea. They meet Juliet for ice-cream after work every Friday in the summer, after their evening walk – even if it's before dinner.

Shawn grins at his wife, gives her a kiss and reaches for her hand. "I'm feeling like a double scoop today," he declares confidently to both of them, knowing it will rile them up.

"You feel like a double scoop every day," Juliet shoots back.

"Yeah, Daddy," a tiny voice agrees with a giggle. "That's true! And you're going to get mint chocolate chip. I'm psychic."

Both Shawn and Juliet do a double take and laugh, locking eyes in surprise and amusement, unaware that their daughter even knew about the concept of being psychic. Then again, since she's started kindergarten, she's picked up a lot on the playground.

"Guess she gets that from you. Like father, like daughter," Juliet teases in sing-song and laughs, delighted at the zing.

Shawn rolls his eyes but laughs along with her. He's learned to take those punches in stride.

"Daddy you're psychic?" she asks, eyes wide and Juliet stifles a laugh.

"No," he tells her simply, rushing past concept. "C'mon, let's go, before it all melts!"

"It can't melt, Daddy!" she giggles as he scoops her up and tickles her. "It's in the freezer!"

He feels blessed every single day, with this life. It's the best that it's been in a long time.

It's the best that it's been, ever.