CHAPTER 19: FIRST LESSONS
Going through a dead man's belongings turned out more haunting than Lucy had first thought. Especially when she had actually seen his death. She had been there, watching the stranger's head separate from his body, and now she'd take up the place he had once called home.
Lucy picked up some dried lavender, wondering why Igneel had collected it. What kind of potions had he made from it? Or had he just collected flowers like Lucy? She didn't really know anything of him, and Natsu didn't want to tell, the wound still too raw to be opened. The only thing she was sure of was the way she felt like replacing him, even when she knew she really wasn't.
If it was absurd for her, she couldn't even imagine how Natsu felt about it. But judging from his abrupt departure, Lucy knew he didn't take it well.
Feeling a painful twist in her chest, Lucy put the flowers into a satchel before giving it to Mirajane. The master wizard had said she'd make the quarters ready for her, but Lucy wanted to help. She wanted to find out what kind of a person had lived there before. However, the items he had left behind brought more questions than answers.
Unlike Natsu, Igneel hadn't hoarded useless keepsakes. His shelves were strictly organized and clutter absent. The dust had fallen on the furniture during his absence and the bedding needed changing, but otherwise, there wasn't much to clean.
With her hands growing restless, she replaced a staff in the weapon rack with her bow and arrows. She bit her lower lip as she gave the staff to Mirajane, the woman smiling pensively as she received it. A soul gem was seated on the top of it, surrounded with blade-like spikes. What kind of magic did it hold? Igneel had been into necromancy, so could it be used to reanimate the dead?
"I think that's about it", Mirajane sighed as she put the staff into the chest, leaving Lucy's wonders unresolved. Mira closed the chest, her eyes gleaming. "We keep his belongings here for a while, but if no-one needs anything, they will be sent to his family in Solstheim."
Lucy wanted to mention Felrys still being alive and well in Fort Amol, but after remembering his suspension from the College, she decided not to bring it up. Who would inherit his soul gems and books wasn't her business. Living in his old quarters was enough to make her feel like an intruder.
Like inheriting the life that he had deserved.
Swallowing a sigh, Lucy took her journal, ink, and quill and opened the nightstand's drawer. To her surprise, she found a small, brown-leathered notebook on the bottom of the box. She picked it up and gave it to Mirajane. "There's still something."
"Oh?" Mira wondered and leafed through the book. "Here's… directions, for conjuring a tent. He actually jotted it down? Some other notes as well… Some necromancy spells, alchemy recipes…"
Lucy's brow furrowed as a memory tried to rebound in her head. Where had she heard that before?
"Could I keep it?" Lucy asked, finally remembering it. "Natsu has mentioned that tent. Maybe he'd want it."
Mirajane cast her a quick, warm smile. "Sure", she answered, handing the notebook back to her. Lucy put it into the box with her journal and writing supplies, deciding to give it a read tomorrow. Then she froze next to the bed, her legs swaying gently as she zoned out again.
How old had Igneel even been? He had looked only a bit older than Natsu – way too young to die, but that youth would now be forever preserved. But how would she settle down in the ashes of his presence, while his image still hung in the walls and grievings hearts?
Perhaps the world left behind by the dead was what made their death so final. So concrete. The halls they had roamed, the words they had written, the flowers they had once held in their hands – the things were still there while the person wasn't. The world carried on as they turned into mere wistful whispers in the wind.
Her newfound power of being the Dragonborn, her great-grandmother Anna having been a scholar here, and now this strangling feeling of replacing someone else… For a brief, passing moment everything felt so overwhelming it drove her to the verge of fainting.
"You look tired, Lucy", Mirajane noticed, snapping Lucy out of ruminating in distressing thoughts. "Go to sleep, I'll take it from here. You need rest."
Lucy nodded, touching her forehead in dizziness. "Thank you", she said as Mirajane walked to the door, collecting old sheets and the rest of Igneel's clothes from the floor. The woman smiled as she left the room, leaving Lucy alone with her fatigued, conflicted mind.
'I just need to rest.'
Candles burned on top of the drawer, the fluttering flames captivating Lucy's gaze. She let out a long sigh as she slipped out of her black robes. The dirty, worn cloth fell to her ankles as she loosened the belt around her waist, cool air wrapping her bare body into an unfriendly embrace. She pulled open the dresser again and picked up the brown tunic Erza had given her and dove into it, hiding away from the cold before it would gnaw her to the bone.
Then she blew out the candles and collapsed to the bed. The dress still smelled of Erza, making Lucy think of her instead of Igneel. What would happen to the warrior now? How would her dragon-research go from here? Would they ever meet again, or would this dress be the only memory she would have? Just like the white scarf would be the only thing left of Igneel.
With her thoughts shifting from Erza to the dragons, Lucy fell asleep before she had even tucked herself under the blanket. And to Lucy's relief, exhaustion robbed the nightmares from her, at least for one night.
Lucy awakened to the sensation of something tickling her feet, groggy as if she had just closed her eyes. The light bleeding through the dusty window let her know it was already dawn. Lucy pressed her face into the pillow and turned to her other side, pulling her legs closer to her body. Pleasantly enough her soles hid underneath a blanket, away from whatever had touched her toes.
Mirajane had been right. The well-deserved rest had cleared the fog in her mind, stealing away the anguish of last night. Feeling like she had all the time in the world, she let herself relax in the sweetness of a slow, soft waking. Her limbs lay heavy on the mattress, aches and sores melted away as she began to shift back to sleep.
But when a ghostly cat walked beside her bed and stuffed its nose to Lucy's, she roused with a violent jump.
Lucy shrieked as she sprung up, fingers clenched into the blanket's edge. The cat flinched at her scream and trotted to the bundle of cloth laying on the floor. It climbed on top of the black fabric and kneaded it before curling up on a ball, purring softly.
As her breath steadied and her heartbeat slowed down, Lucy stared at the pile of cloth, a frown forming on her forehead. She remembered Mirajane had taken the old bedding away, but she'd been so tired she could've been mistaken.
A gentle blue glow surrounded the cat, showing it wasn't a regular cat. Suddenly it clicked. The cat had to be Happy, a creature Natsu's brother had conjured years ago. A faint smile rose on Lucy's lips as she calmed down, but only for a moment.
And as Lucy brushed her fingertips on the green sheets of the blanket, she remembered she had fallen asleep without it. Had Mirajane brought extra bedding for her, and tucked her in at the same time? It couldn't be, because the door was locked. Something was off. Her frown deepened the longer she stared at the strange bundle on the floor.
Then it moved.
Her heart missed a beat. Lucy shot up to the edge of her bed, sudden nervousness grasping her throat. A conjured cat could move through walls, but why would it be there anyway?
She bounced up and took a careful step closer, the cat's eyes following her movements. Her stomach dropped as she saw a pale hand underneath the blanket, and heard quiet snoring melting into Happy's purrs. But when she recognized the pink hair of the one hiding there, her terror twisted into a humiliated rage.
"MY ROOM!" she cried out, startling the sleeping mage. "What are YOU doing in MY ROOM!?"
Dumbfounded, the harshly-awakened mage rubbed his eyes as he sat up.
"Man, I don't know, I, uhm…" Natsu mumbled, lowering his gaze to the cat on his lap. "Happy, why are we here?"
Lucy used all of her strength to hold back the urge to kick him. His laid-back reaction made it worse. Yet they had spent the passing week very closely together, it didn't give him the permission to come to her room at night. If she had missed his company she could've asked for it. And she definitely didn't.
"Don't ask your cat!" Lucy nearly shouted. "More exactly, how did you get here? I'm pretty damn sure my door was locked."
"I don't know, okay?" Natsu defended, a hint of growing annoyment in his voice. "I… I had a dream about Igneel I think, he said he needed something, but he was asleep and I couldn't wake him up, so… So I waited for him to wake up I guess?"
If Lucy remembered right, Natsu had lost the ability to dream. Whether it had magically returned or he'd made up a poor excuse, Lucy didn't care.
"You're sleepwalking?" she asked, pausing for a moment. "No, you're sleep-trespassing?"
Natsu shrugged, softly scratching Happy's neck as it purred against him. "Maybe. Seems like it. Anyway…"
Lucy rolled her eyes and crossed her arms on her chest. "Anyway, get out of here", she commanded, but the mage showed no sign of leaving.
"But this rug is comfortable."
"Now!"
"Okay, okay, just calm –" he started, but Lucy grabbed him from the neck of his robes and pulled, accidentally tugging his hair. "Hey, that hurt!"
"And it hurt my privacy to find you on my floor", Lucy said, dragging the mage across the room. She unlocked the door and kicked it open, throwing Natsu into the hall. Fumbling, he grasped the wall, glaring at her like he had been the upset one. Lucy stayed in the doorway waiting for him to apologize, but he didn't.
"Aren't you even sorry?" she asked, scrunching her nose. Natsu let Happy go, and the cat rushed into someplace calm and quiet.
"For accidentally coming into my best friend's old room while I slept? No, I'm not."
"But the door was locked!"
"And I picked it."
Lucy snorted, her rage almost twisting into hilarious frustration. She struggled to keep her tone serious as laughter slipped through her words. "You couldn't even open a chest and then you suddenly open my door while asleep?"
"I've done that before", Natsu tried to defend, doing damage than repair. "You have no idea how many times Igneel lost his key. The man sucked at lockpicking and I had to open the door for him, to save Mira from the trouble."
"But –"
Natsu spoke over her ruthlessly. "Or when he overslept and I had to break in to wake him up so we wouldn't miss a lesson. Or when I forgot my stuff in there and got to get them while he was taking a shit!"
Lucy hid her gasp as his voice rose towards the end. Falling silent for a moment, she took her time searching for words to say. While her hurt was already fading, he was getting pissed off. Lucy had a feeling he wouldn't get mad at her, but it was a thing she didn't want to test.
"But that's still trespassing. It isn't allowed here, right?"
"Why the fuck do you suddenly care when you're the one breaking into Aretino's residence?"
"Don't bring that to this! You just can't come to my room when I'm sleeping!"
"I already said I didn't mean to!"
"Then at least say that you're sorry!"
"What's happening here?" a man's voice asked as the door next to Lucy's opened. A black-haired mage peeked from behind the door, and Lucy recognized him as Gray. "Natsu, did you break into Lucy's room?"
"No, I –"
"Yes, you did!" Lucy shouted, silencing him.
"Man, what's wrong with you?" Gray scoffed, stepping into the hallway. "She's new here and you're already –"
Lucy's gaze went down on the man's bare body, a shriek escaping her lips as she realized he wasn't wearing anything at all. Upon a reflex, Lucy shielded her eyes with her hands as she turned away, whimpering from embarrassment with blood rushing to her cheeks.
What was once seen couldn't be unseen.
"She didn't ask to see your dick, Gray!" Natsu yelled, and for once he was right. The image still burned in her eyes, and probably would for a while. "Nobody wants to see your fucking dick! Get dressed already you dirty creep!"
"Gods help me", Lucy muttered as she sneaked into the safety of her room. She slammed the door shut in front of them, allowing them to argue by themselves. She had already had enough for today and the day hadn't even begun yet.
Lucy plunged to the bed, trying to filter out the yelling from the hallway. No wonder why Gray had woken up. The stone walls and wooden doors didn't keep out the noise, letting Lucy enjoy the full show of a verbal fight between two mages. Not that there was much to enjoy, though.
"I'm dirty? Well, you smell like a Hagraven. And you look like one, too. A stalking Hagraven!"
"Fuck you, flasher."
"Elf-ears!"
"Ice princess!"
The sound of a fist meeting a cheek made Lucy flinch. She had expected that, but not so soon.
"Hey! Why you…" Natsu grunted, and then Lucy heard another smack as they ran out of insults and switched into fists. "For fuck's sake, put some pants on before you hit someone! I won't brawl with a naked man!"
"Afraid it would look strange?"
"I don't want your dick in my face when I throw you to the ground!"
"Ha! Like this?"
"No –"
Someone thumped against the stone floor, and from the scream, Lucy assumed it was Natsu. Gray laughed, invoking a burst of fiery swearing from his fellow mage. Lucy squeezed the pillow around her ears, wondering how fast she would lose her sanity when surrounded by such idiots.
"Shit, my arm…"
"Better not to call me an 'ice princess' again, you snowback!"
"You're the one who was provoking me, you filthy slime ball."
"Oh yeah? What exactly did I do to provoke you, flame-brained lizard?"
"Existed!"
"What the fuck are you guys doing again?" said a baritone voice. Lucy recalled him as the one who had talked to her yesterday during dinner, one whose name she didn't know. The tall and blonde man with a scar running over his eye.
"Nothing", the mages answered.
"Whatever, go do that someplace else. Your 'nothing' is waking everyone up."
Silence fell to the hall and steps faded away. For a second Lucy tried to hold back a laugh, but then it escaped, bubbling from her throat as the tension disappeared. It had been so stupid. She had gotten boiled up for nothing. Nothing too serious, at least.
Lucy rolled to her side and pulled the blanket over her body. She had ignored the cold in the heat of her anger, and a chill crept to her bones as it subsided. Erza's old tunic wasn't warm enough in this cold climate. She would need a thick, knitted pullover and woolen leggings to stay warm. Mother had made her wear those during winter. Her skin itched from the mere thought of it.
She let her eyes slip closed as she inhaled a deep breath. Now that she thought about it, she remembered falling asleep without the blanket, but she had been covered when she'd woken up. Had Natsu tucked her in? She found it hard to believe he would. Even if he had, it had to be because he'd mistaken her as Igneel. Well, better that than being drawn to her face with charcoal. That she could imagine him doing to his sleeping friends.
Wind gushed against the College's walls, howling as it seeped through the cracks on the stone. Waves broke around the rocks in the shallows far below the tower, playing a mesmerizing melody. Lucy didn't remember hearing it yesterday – either the sea had been calm, or she'd been too tired to hear it. As it grew comfortably warm under the duvet, the wind lulled her into some tranquility.
Not letting herself surrender to sleep, she forced her eyes open. A smile twitched on her lips as she saw the bow resting on the weapon rack, unable to believe it was hers. Her gaze traveled across the room, and she still failed to believe it was all hers. A place in the College of Winterhold, the safe haven for mages in Skyrim.
A new home.
When she had fully calmed down, she got up and changed herself into the robes Mirajane had given her yesterday. The dim green fabric suited her well, and the brown belt on her waist emphasized her figure. She pulled on thick stockings to cover her bare legs and slipped her feet into knee-high boots. Lastly, she opened her hair and combed it quickly before tying it on a bun on the nape of her neck.
She looked down on herself, her smile widening so her cheeks hurt. The robes she got from Felrys made her look like a necromancer, but now she looked like a real apprentice. And she couldn't be any happier than that.
"I'm ready to learn", she whispered to herself. She stretched her fingers, opening her palms as she tested her magic. Her blood felt replenished, and as a flame appeared on her fingertip upon her will she knew she wouldn't fail today.
Full of confidence, Lucy left the room and headed to get some breakfast on the upper floor. The halls were empty – either the other students hadn't even woken up yet, or then they had already gone to the lessons. Lucy stopped by the window in the stairway and saw the sun lingering right above the horizon, deeming her first guess to be the most accurate.
While she walked to the dining room, she glanced at Natsu's door. It was shut and locked, making her wonder if she should ask him to eat with her. But on second thought, he preferred to be alone after losing his nerves, and so Lucy decided not to bother him. He'd surely show up when he'd feel like it again, and Lucy didn't mind exploring the College on her own for a change.
No-one was eating when Lucy arrived and sat down at an empty table. Slightly disappointed, she picked up a plate and filled it with bread, cheese, and a piece of apple pie. She'd hoped to chat with another apprentice and get to know the other students. Working as a merchant had molded her as a gifted talker – silence didn't suit her.
But when Lucy poured herself a glass of water, someone broke the silence.
"Hey", said a man from the doorway. Lucy turned around to see Gray standing there, fully dressed to her relief. He walked in and filled a bowl with porridge, looking for the longbench Lucy sat at. "Mind if I take a seat?"
"Go ahead", Lucy answered. She took a sip from the mug to hide the embarrassed smile on her lips. Trying to act casually right after seeing him fully exposed proved more challenging than she'd thought.
"Sorry 'bout earlier", Gray said. "Forgot to get dressed before leaving my room. Hope it didn't scare you."
Lucy smiled. How could anyone forget to get dressed here? Clattering teeth and numbing fingers would surely remind anyone about the lack of appropriate clothing. "It's… it's alright. Guess I won't be scared so easily."
He chuckled and eyed at Lucy's plate, then picked a piece of pie for himself as well. Thinking about what to say, Lucy watched as he ate it with two mouthfuls.
"It's good to see another Nord. Feared I'd be the only one", Gray said, swallowing and pouring himself a drink. "Where are you from?"
Lucy had never thought of herself to be so easily recognized as a Nord, but perhaps she was. While Gray had the manners of one, Lucy had the outlooks. "Helgen", she answered.
"Really? I lived a year in Riften, and it's even a bit warmer than Helgen. Never felt like home in there. I missed the snow."
For a second Lucy waited for him to pick up the dragon attack, but he didn't. Lucy studied his sharp features, weathered cheeks, and a scar running down his jaw. A soft bruise was forming in the corner of his eye. Natsu would most likely have a matching one. It would be out of order if he didn't.
"Are you from Winterhold, then?" Lucy asked.
"No. Dawnstar", he answered. "Grew up whipped by the sea wind. Maybe that's why I ended up here."
Lucy couldn't resist a question that popped in her head. "Is that why you have trouble keeping clothes on?"
Gray snorted, taking a long gulp from his drink. It smelled of mead, but a man of his size wouldn't get buzzed from one stein. "Knew you'd ask it at some point. Don't worry, everyone does", he started. "Most Nords have forgotten the true power of our blood. Our ancestors could withstand any weather, and our bodies are still the same. I've unlocked that power through years of training. Clothes? While they keep you warm and comfortable, they separate you from the cold. Become friends with it and it will never hurt you. Comfort makes you soft and weak."
Lucy's eyes widened, curious yet skeptical. If warmth made one weak, she had to be absolutely powerless. All her life, she had stayed in the reach of the hearth of her home, always sheltered from the cold. "Really? I haven't even heard of that kind of practice. Where'd you learn it?"
"My adoptive mother taught me", Gray told. "She's from Skaal village of Solstheim but came to Skyrim decades ago. She was a scholar here in the College before she got sick."
Lucy's brow furrowed against her will, torn between curiosity and reticence. The way Gray spoke in present tense let Lucy know his adoptive mother was still alive. Though she wanted to know more about her sickness, she didn't ask. She'd had enough of talking about sick or dead mothers.
"Oh, okay", she replied. "So, you just go naked in a blizzard and you get stronger?"
"To put it shortly, yes. Exposure to the cold builds endurance. At this point, I can swim in the Sea of Ghosts and climb mountains barefoot, wearing nothing but shorts. That's what every Nord could achieve if given just a chance."
The very thought of swimming in the frozen sea made Lucy tremble. But instead of finding that freakish, she respected him. She couldn't even imagine herself dipping a toe into the frozen sea.
"Thanks, but no thanks. I admit, I prefer the hearth's warmth over a blizzard", Lucy said, smiling. "Your… practice seems to offend some off."
"You mean Natsu?" Gray presumed. He grinned as Lucy nodded. "It's the clashing elements. Ice and fire, you know? It has always been like that with him. My 'stripping habit', as he calls it, is just another reason for him to pick up a quarrel. The fault's not entirely his. It isn't like I like him too much either."
"How's that, may I ask?"
"It's just difficult to come along with someone who has simply decided to hate your guts. I can't even recall how it began. Now it's just all about which one finds better insults and hits harder", Gray answered. "Anyway, we shouldn't waste time talking about our perpetual rivalry. What magic do you practice, Lucy?"
Lucy chuckled, wondering if Natsu would have a different explanation. Though Lucy didn't know him too well, it felt odd he'd hold such a grudge for years without a good reason. The way Gray switched the subject so quickly added to her distrust, but Lucy didn't want to pick sides. Except for flashing too much of himself, Gray seemed like a decent guy and a skilled mage. She would find out herself if that was true.
"I… I'd like to be a conjurer", Lucy answered shyly. "But I'm not very good yet. I can summon a wolf though, and…"
The ice mage knit his brow. "And?"
"Nothing much, really. I can cast some flames Natsu taught me, but I'm a mere novice. I started a week ago."
"He taught you magic?" Gray marveled, dark eyes widening. "I'm impressed you actually learned something."
"Yes, some very basics while we were on our way here."
Gray nodded slowly, doubt in his glare as he took a sip from his drink. He put the stein on the table, eating a few spoonfuls of porridge before speaking.
"Here's one thing you should learn: it's not good to focus on only one element as Natsu does", Gray started, sounding sure of himself. "Sure, mastering fire makes your flames exceedingly strong, but it works as far as your opponents aren't resistant to fire. Because Natsu doesn't know many other spells than fire spells, he's weak against Dark Elves, for example. He never won Igneel in a clash. There are all kinds of enemies in Skyrim, so it's best to know all kinds of spells. That way you won't find yourself in the undertow."
"Makes sense", Lucy agreed. She welcomed every bit of knowledge she'd get, even when it came from Natsu's rival. "So you're an ice wizard?"
"Yes. I focus on destruction and conjuration, but I also take a steel sword with me every time I venture past the College walls. It's what my Nords parents taught me, to trust in steel instead of magic", Gray told. He let out a silent snort. "Though, they'd be mortified to know I became a mage. Gladly the dead cannot share their unsolicited opinions."
Lucy smiled slightly. "Mine, too."
Gray cast her an enigmatic glance, furrowing his dark brows a bit. Though he spoke of his family, he didn't do it openly, leaving gaps of history unfilled. But considering they had just met, Lucy understood it. She wouldn't talk about the slaughter of Helgen to any stranger either, and gladly Gray asked no questions.
"But, though steel is a warrior's burden, it's sometimes useful. A matter of life and death almost. Some mages use shock spells, which sap your magic in an instant. Then you need something to fight with. If you run, you're guaranteed to be shot in the back", Gray said, his hands imitating drawing and releasing a bow. "Most mages use daggers because they're small and light, but having a sword gives you an advantage against them. Never assume other mages are on your side. Most often they aren't."
Lucy only nodded, wondering how he'd react if she'd say she shot down a dragon with a conjured bow. Did he even know about the dragons' return? She had mentioned Helgen, but he hadn't commented. Either the word hadn't reached every corner of Skyrim, or then he was plainly uninterested, focusing solely on his own conquest. Whatever it was.
It was a relief though, to find someone who didn't talk about the dragons.
"You seem like a decent apprentice", Gray said after a silence. He stood up and gathered his empty plates to his hand. "If you need some help with spells, I'm here to help. It's good to have a fellow Nord around. I mean, Tolfdir's also a Nord, but he's… long in the tooth. Speaking of Tolfdir, he keeps the lesson today. Are you going?"
"Yeah. What was it about again?" Lucy answered. Mirajane had mentioned the lesson's theme yesterday, but she had already forgotten it.
"Probably the same rambling about safety, how magic can and will destroy you unless you can control it", Gray said, grinning. "Restoration, wards, and healing. He always starts with that. I actually promised Tolfdir I'd help with demonstrating the spells to new apprentices."
Lucy smiled. While she'd hoped to learn something more exciting, she agreed that safety should always come first. "Sounds great. See you there!"
As Gray left, Lucy realized she had forgotten to eat her breakfast, and the apple pie had gone cold.
Lucy hurried across the snowy courtyard, still failing to understand how all this cold would make her stronger. If Nords had frost-resistant blood, she couldn't feel it.
Already running a bit late, she didn't stop to admire the College's architecture. Everything looked different in daylight, but the tour could wait until after the lesson. It could possibly take the rest of the day to roam through the grounds.
Lucy pulled open the heavy door of the Hall of the Elements and stepped in, the shivering ceasing as warmth embraced her. The hall echoed as the door slammed shut behind her. Her cheeks flushed as the heads of the other students turned towards her, and she apologized under her breath, knowing they wouldn't hear it.
Yesterday the gate to the hall had been closed, but now it was open. She walked in as slowly as she could, fearing she'd shatter the illusion if she'd be too swift. The ceiling of the hall was higher than any of what Lucy had seen before, and even the Palace of the Kings couldn't rival with its beauty.
It was almost funny now that she had thought of Fort Amol being a fancy-looking castle.
"Welcome, welcome!" said an elderly man from the other side of the hall. Grey-bearded and clad in blue master-ranked robes, Lucy deemed him to be Tolfdir. "We were just beginning. Please, come and listen."
Lucy smiled, following the man's beckon. Tall, cloudy windows lined the walls. Gray was sitting on the bench at the edge of the hall, observing the new apprentices. The other one was a male Khajiit, a feline beast-like race that hailed from the faraway land of Elsweyr.
Lucy had only seen his kind in trading caravans outside Helgen and Whiterun, for they were not allowed in the cities. Father always said that most of the Khajiit turned to thievery and smuggling, and therefore couldn't be trusted. 'A few bad apples spoil the bunch.' Even though Lucy didn't want to adopt her father's discriminating mindset, she couldn't just cast away the cautiousness she felt as she reached them.
The other student was a Dark Elf woman, not appearing friendly either. She glared at Lucy from underneath her hood, and suddenly Lucy felt like an outsider. Ironically, those two felt like outsiders anywhere else in Skyrim, this place being the only one they'd be welcomed as they were.
Maybe one day she could call them her friends, but now her internalized distrust led her to another Nord. She seated next to Gray, the man greeting her with a nod.
"So, as I was saying, the first thing to understand is that magic is, by its very nature, volatile and dangerous", Tolfdir continued, his voice echoing on the high walls. "Unless you can control it, it can and will destroy you."
Gray chuckled and turned to Lucy. "As I said", he grinned, and Lucy immediately realized what he meant.
"Sir, I think we understand that fairly well", the Dark Elf stated. "We wouldn't be here if we couldn't control magic."
The elderly Nord cast the woman a patient smile. "Of course, my dear. Of course. You all certainly possess some inherited magical ability. That much is not being questioned. What I'm talking about is true control, the mastery of magic. It takes years, if not decades, of practice and study."
"Than what are we waiting for?" asked the Khajiit, his voice sly and urgent. "Let's get started!"
"Please, please! This is exactly what I'm talking about. Eagerness must be tempered with caution, or else disaster is inevitable."
"You have no idea what we're capable of. Why not give us a chance to show you what we can do?"
Lucy hid a laugh in her sleeves. The novices seemed sure of themselves, almost to the point of arrogancy. Lucy was sure Natsu would wipe the floor with them if challenged in a real fight. Perhaps Gray, too. She was yet to see his magic in action, but he had a certain tone of expertise in his voice when he spoke about his skills.
Tolfdir pointed to Lucy next. "You've been quiet so far. What do you think we should do?"
Stunned, Lucy lost her words. "I… I'm not really sure what to think. Something practical, perhaps?"
The Khajiit glanced at her, agreeing with her idea. "Let's just give it a chance. What's the worst thing that could happen?"
"All right, I suppose we can try something practical…" Tolfdir sighed. He had most likely been a scholar for years and could sense the level of his apprentices, knowing what would be the best method of training for them. "In continuing with our theme of safety, we'll start with wards. Wards are protective spells that block magic. I'll teach you all a ward, and we'll see if you can successfully use it to block spells, alright?"
Lucy nodded, and Tolfdir turned to her again.
"Would you mind helping with the demonstration?" he asked, the question stunning her. She wanted to shake her head in refusal.
"I don't know any ward spells", Lucy answered, secretly hoping he would choose someone else. She was still afraid her magicka hadn't been restored enough. Failing to cast a spell in front of everyone would be so disgraceful. But well, if that was the worst thing that could happen, maybe it wouldn't be that bad. The Khajiit had an idea. She had come here to learn.
"That's alright. I can use teach you a very basic ward, one that's enough for the purposes of this lesson", Toldfir said. Lucy nodded and stood up. "Concentrate your magicka as a protective shield in front of your body, as if nothing could get through it. Like this."
Toldfir raised his hands to the level of his chest, and a blue, fluttering shield appeared from his palms. His features distorted through the transparent magic, like a screen of glass. Following his example, Lucy tried to do the same. And almost like Tolfdir had gifted his knowledge of the spell to her, Lucy succeed. She gasped as magic flowed through her fingers, forming a magical shield in front of her.
"Excellent work!" Tolfdir exclaimed happily. "Now, just stand there opposite me. I'll cast a spell at you, and you block it with the ward. Here we go."
Lucy didn't have time to give a word about it, so she just hoped her ward would hold. It felt brittle and weak as if it would fall apart any moment. Toldfir formed a firebolt in his hand and threw it at her. Against all expectations, her ward held, dispelling the flames as they hit it. Gray applauded behind her, making her blush.
"Amazing. You learn fast. I think this is an excellent start", Tolfdir praised. "I'd like you all to continue our practice with wards, please. Test your wards and offensive spells in pairs, but remember to make sure no-one gets hurt."
Lucy glanced at the two apprentices who quickly formed a team without paying her a single word. She expected that to happen though. The distrust between races was often mutual, especially when beasts or elves faced men. They took a distance, withdrawing to the other end of the hall as they began training.
"I'll train with you then, it seems", Gray said as he rose up. It was fine with her. "Since you just learned how to use a ward, I'll go easy on you for now. Not blasting a blizzard right ahead at you."
"I'd appreciate it."
Gray smiled slightly, stepping back from Lucy until there was a fair distance in between them. "Alright, go ahead. Cast the ward spell and keep it up."
As before, Lucy raised her hands and let the magic flow, molding it into a shield in front of her. It fluttered like a melting glass, clouding her vision and not letting her see the spell the ice mage cast. A loud whiz sounded in the hall before an ice spear struck Lucy's ward, the impact sending her backward through the air.
Lucy shrieked as the ward dissolved. She managed to fix her balance, but could still feel the strength of that hit staggering her bones. Gray let out a laugh, causing Lucy to give her a murderous glance.
"That's going easy for you?" Lucy asked, anger ringing in her voice.
"That was just an ice spike."
"It's way too strong for me."
"If it was, you'd have an ice spike poking out of your chest. You did well. Now, again."
"Wait, I –"
Lucy cast the ward again, right before the icicle hit her face. She lost balance again, fumbling back before falling to the stone floor. Gladly the ward worked as it was supposed to, leaving her unhurt.
"Hey! I wasn't ready", Lucy scoffed. Gray's training method wasn't exactly the softest, reminding her of a certain someone who'd taught her earlier. "Gods, you're just like him."
"Now it's your turn. You said you knew the flames spell? Cast it at me. No worries, after fighting with Natsu for years, I can stand some grilling."
Lucy pushed herself up from the floor. "You clash with magic, too? Instead of fists and words?"
"Yeah, sometimes, mostly in the courtyard or outside College's ground. But after we wrecked a part of the Jarl's longhouse and got locked up in the Chill for a week, we haven't done that much. Fistfights are harmless compared to that."
Even though she didn't want to personally witness their arcane battle, the thought intrigued her. If such a clash could be organized safely, like a tournament, then it would be interesting to watch. But unless it was, it was guaranteed outsiders would also get hurt.
"The Chill? What's that?" Lucy asked.
"Winterhold's jail. It's a cave on an island in the Sea of Ghosts, guarded by angry frost atronachs. It wasn't an enjoyable stay. At least for him."
Lucy smiled, wondering which had been more difficult to Natsu: the cold or Gray's presence. Possibly the latter. "I'll never commit a crime in Winterhold then…"
"Well, if you stick with Natsu, going to jail at some point is pretty inevitable", Gray chuckled. Lucy couldn't really argue against that. She just hoped it wouldn't happen in Winterhold. "Anyway, let's see what he taught you. Cast flames at me and I'll repel them."
Nervousness clasping her throat, she tried to lit up a sparkle on her fingertips. After casting the wards, her magicka moved freely again, and soon roaring fire shot from her hands. Struggling to keep it intact, she focused pouring the fiery magic on Gray, the flames turning into black smoke as they hit his shield.
"Good job", Gray congratulated as her flames withered. "Honestly, I'm surprised to see how many talented apprentices we've got lately. It isn't common for us to have three new novices here."
Lucy glanced to the other side of the hall, firebolts flying through the air from the beast's paws. "You mean the Khajiit and the Dark Elf?"
"Yes, J'zhargo and Brelyna. You should talk and train with them as well. They start from the same point as you, and you can learn a lot from each other."
Lucy answered with a faint smile. "I hope so."
In a silent agreement, they carried on the practice, their discussion of spells feeding Lucy's curiosity to learn. With every turn, her wards got stronger, and in the end she barely staggered when Gray's ice spike hit her shield. Success felt like honey on her self-esteem, wounded by yesterday's inability to conjure anything.
But as the hour went by, she realized Natsu was missing out on her process. It wasn't like he was obligated to spend time with her in the College ground or attend the same lessons as her, but they were a team. And while training with Gray was fun and challenging, it wasn't the same thing.
She had been so petty this morning and just hoped Natsu wouldn't hold a grudge. As her thoughts started spiraling away from the present moment, she found her magicka running dry. The constant casting of the ward spells left her drained, and she was more than glad when Tolfdir called it a day. Her concentration had met its limit.
"Attention please, apprentices", Tolfdir announced at the end of the lesson. "You all seem very gifted to me, at least with a quick observation. I think perhaps we'd be ready to begin exploring magic through history. The College had undertaken a fascinating excavation in the ruins of Saarthal nearby. It's an excellent learning opportunity. I suggest we train with wards and restoration spells today, and head to the ruins tomorrow."
Lucy's eyes began to sparkle. Exploring ancient ruins so soon? Tolfdir really seemed to believe in their skills.
"Sounds exciting", Lucy said, turning to Gray. "Are you coming too?"
"Yes. I'll look after the apprentices. The ruins are like labyrinths. It's easy to get lost in them."
Lucy nodded. From what she had heard from the customers of her store, Nordic ruins were as dangerous as they were precious. Sometimes adventures brought items from the barrows and burial mounds and sold them to her. She remembered holding the helmets of ancient warriors in her hands, wondering what it had been through.
"Great. I assume I'll be seeing you tomorrow, then?" Lucy asked before the ice mage turned away. "And thanks for the training."
"Sure", Gray said, flashing a quick smile. "And hey, if you want to learn more spells, you should check out the Arcanaeum."
On that Lucy couldn't disagree.
'It can't get any worse than this.'
That consoling thought had pushed him through the miserable morning. Whatever would happen, he was absolutely sure it couldn't get any worse. Waking up on Lucy's floor and instantly getting into a brawl with Gray, well, that was quite a way to start a day.
After having their brawl cut out by Laxus, Natsu had retreated back to his room to cool down his head. A long nap and a filling breakfast made him feel well enough, giving him energy to figure out where Lucy had gone. Her door had been locked and she hadn't answered to knocking. And definetely not wanting to relive the morning, Natsu had headed to the lecture hall in search of her.
He hadn't even got to the courtyard when he bumped into Gray. The ice mage said the lesson had ended, and that Lucy would be in the library if he wanted to see her. Natsu hadn't answered anything, just mumbled silent insults as he passed by.
"Come on, Happy", Natsu said to the cat who stopped at the window and locked its gaze to a crow flying outside. "Time to figure out if Lucy still wants to kick our ass."
The mage sighed as he climbed to the top of the stairs, pushing open the heavy door of the Arcanaeum. The scent of paper and old ink flooded into his lungs as he stepped in. While some found it warm and welcoming, it made him want to turn around and run. To put it shortly, he wasn't fond of reading.
Happy strutted into the hall, vanishing behind the partition walls segregating the outer ring of the room from the central reading area. Natsu followed the cat, instantly stopping as he saw the blonde mage browsing through the tall bookcases, his short search coming to an end. She looked so small next to them – she would need a ladder to reach the top shelves.
Natsu looked at her for a moment. She was wearing green College robes, the color matching well with her fair hair and brown eyes. As if a permanent smile had stuck on her lips, she held a book in her hands, making Natsu wonder what she had found. She seemed so captivated, astonished by the books that he almost felt bad for missing her reaction when she first entered the Arcanaeum.
"Gray told me I'd find you here", Natsu greeted from a distance, breaking the silence. She flinched, almost dropping a book as she turned her head towards him. Her smile vanished as she blinked rapidly to get used to the sight of him. "How'd the lesson go?"
"Well, we…" Lucy started, her voice fading to her usual stutter. "We practiced with wards. Where were you?"
Happy raced behind the shelves, meowing at Lucy as he passed her by. The cat ran to Natsu, the mage crouching to pick him up into his arms. Even for a ghostly cat, Happy never failed to bring him comfort.
"Catching up some missed rest", Natsu said, petting Happy's head.
Lucy chuckled. "Didn't sleep well on my floor?"
"Not really."
Being there without Igneel was hard, a lot harder than he had even imagined. Hard enough to bring him dreams he hadn't seen in years. Or if he had, he never remembered them. He had lost both nightmares and pleasant dreams when he fell on his head on the stairs of Labyrinthian. Last night something had been stronger and more important than that damage.
No matter what Lucy believed, Natsu hadn't lied to her. In his dream, Igneel wanted to tell him something, but when Natsu went to hear him out, he found him sleeping. He hadn't thought Igneel was dead, just tightly asleep. Natsu had decided to lay down on the rug as he had done many times before, and wait for Igneel to wake up.
And he never did, the important thing fading into the void with his dream.
"Toldfir said we'd explore some Nordic ruins tomorrow, to learn about the magic of the ancient civilization", she said, sneakily switching the subject. Well, at least she wasn't mad anymore. "Are you coming?"
Natsu glanced to the library's counter to find Levy wasn't there. This was the time she usually went to eat lunch, leaving the Arcanaeum unguarded for half an hour. If some damage happened to the books during that time, she'd kill the first person who'd step out of the library.
But as they were alone, Natsu could talk about another important thing.
"Lucy", Natsu started. He wasn't sure which words to use, except that he needed to be careful. He couldn't spill any information which could be used against them. "You know we can't stay here for long. We were just supposed to turn here and keep going. Well, that's why I came looking for you. To talk about this."
While he had eaten breakfast, he had used all of his brains to figure out what to do next. They were supposed to go to the monastery to answer the Greybeard's calling, but how? How could they do such a journey?
Lucy frowned, her disappointment tangible. "But I want to learn –"
"They didn't call you for nothing. We should get there as fast as we can. Speaking of that, how are we planning to travel? I hate to say this, but a carriage would be the quickest method… We can't train in a wagon though…"
"But the excavation seems so interesting. It's important to me, to learn magic so I can fight the –"
Damn dragons.
"Lucy! You're speaking too much. Remember? Remember what Erza told you, to shut up about it?" Natsu snapped, then lowering his voice. "Of what you are. You almost slipped that yesterday. We just can't let anyone know. Not even here."
Lucy fell silent for a moment. To Natsu, it seemed like she didn't really understand what was going on around her. He couldn't even imagine the weight of her responsibility, of her fate, but she had to stay strong. No-one else needed to know about her being the Dragonborn. It was a risk they couldn't afford to take.
The world couldn't afford her to slip away.
"I can teach you on the way. Just take some spell tomes with you and I'll help with them. We should leave tomorrow. Tomorrow morning. We would make it halfway to Windhelm in one day. There's a mine where I always spent the first night when I –"
"You're planning?" Lucy asked, furrowing her brows. "Are you… are you sick or something?"
"What?"
"It doesn't suit you. To make a plan. I… I didn't think you could do it."
"You think I'm stupid or something?"
"No, I –"
"I can be smart when I need to", Natsu said with a mischievous grin. "There's no point in staying here studying some damn wards when we got more important things to do."
"It's my call when we go there. I want to stay here, for a few more days. Besides, we both need rest. It's a long way up to the High Hrothgar. I'm sure the Greybeards can wait. They must be patient."
Before Natsu could say anything, he heard steps from the entrance hall. They turned their heads towards the noise, and Natsu felt as if being struck with a shovel when he saw the person standing there.
"High Hrothgar?" asked Gray, eyes as wide as the moons. "Why'd you go to High Hrothgar, Lucy?"
'Well, now it can't get any worse than this.'
A/N: Hi, hope you enjoyed the chapter! With 8,3k words, it's my longest chapter ever. I even had to cut one scene and add it to the next chapter because this one was already quite full.
What did you think about Lucy's and Gray's interaction? As they are both Nords, they have a certain kinship among them. I really like the way I've planned their relationship/friendship to develop, and I can't wait to share it with you guys :) you know, sometimes I just wish I could instantly print this story out of my brain without needing to write it. Writing just feels like shoveling shit sometimes!
And hey! I got a drawing tablet recently and I'm planning on drawing arts about this fic! I've already drawn sketches of Natsu and Lucy, and I'll share the drawings with you as well when I get them ready :) There are some scenes I'd definetely want illustrated. Like the one where Natsu stabs the dragon with his dagger.
Anyway, massive thanks for reading, liking and commenting!
