CHAPTER 34: THE LIGHT BETWEEN THE STARS


White snow fell from the starlit skies.

It rained down like frozen tears and landed softly on Lucy's fair hair. She knew not how long she had stood there in the old ruins of Labyrinthian, alone, gazing into the distant stars. But while she did, the cracks in the stones healed, the collapsed towers reformed, the monuments gnawed by the tooth of time renewed back to their former glory. An entire city emerged from the ruins as time flew backwards. Aeons of time disappeared, century upon century until she found herself in the heart of the Dragon War, thousands of years back.

As a ghost, her soul lingered among the busy, dark streets. It was night, as it had been endlessly. The place was not known as Labyrinthian, not yet. The brave city of Bromjunaar it was now, hailed by all, forever these walls should stand. Dragons, dozens of them, flew over the homes and temples built in their honour. The citizens, men and women and children, were not afraid, but not a hint of joy sparked on their faces. Masked priests with their great staffs gathered in a hall in the centre of the city. Lucy, driven by her curiosity, followed them.

A rebellion was rising among the men. Alduin's ever-growing cruelty was being opposed, attempted to overthrow, yet the effort was vain. Alduin was eternal. He could not be defeated. Humanity could only survive through this covenant the priests had made with the dragons. In return for complete, absolute obedience, the dragons granted the priests terrible power, and so an everlasting peace could be formed and maintained. But as Lucy bore witness to the hopeless apathy on the faces of the citizens, reduced to mere subjects, she knew the price of the treaty was too high.

But then, the skies came falling down, as if the stars themselves had collapsed down to earth.

In her spectral form, Lucy watched as the walls crumbled when the war waged, as the entire civilization was brought on its knees when the bells tolled for Alduin's defeat. The heroes of the old, the strongest of the Nords fought and prevailed, and so one by one, the dragons were brought down from the skies with spears and arrows and sorcery of which the present world never even dreamt to acquire.

Those who had worshipped the dragons as gods, the dragon priests and their followers, were now killed, overthrown, and forced into hiding. The last remaining cultist entombed the remains of the fallen dragons, sealed them deep into their burial mounds with the belief that Alduin would return, as it had been foretold, and resurrect those who had been faithful. Thousands of years might pass, but it was bound to happen, for the Elder Scrolls had told it true.

And again, a glimpse of them surfaced in Lucy's consciousness. The Elder Scrolls. Reflections of all possible pasts and all possible futures, artifacts from outside the time, fragments of creation. Then, they vanished again when Lucy sifted onwards in the darkness around her. The world was now gone, past and future merged into one.

In a strange dome full of nothing, she found a white dragon.

The darkness nearly shattered when the dragon landed in front of her and screeched, screeched as loud as it ever could. There were no words, only fury. Fury and grief. The white, frozen scales were stained in blood. Its chest was opened, its lungs ripped apart, and it was dead. Yet it still moved, for it lacked something which was bound to its being with a bond stronger than anything in the world.

"Who are you?"

Lucy's question echoed endlessly in the nothingness.

"Krosulhah."

And the answer echoed all the same.

Suddenly, among the fading echoes, visions weaved into her mind. They emerged from the darkness, black threads of memory, images Lucy had forgotten, but always known. And where they seeped through her spectral skull, her nerves lit in overwhelming pain. She fought back a scream, for she would not show weakness in front of the dragon.

It was supposed to be dead.

She had thrust the Skyforged greatsword through its skull, and yet here it was, inside this dream-like sphere of darkness, most likely her own soul. It wrecked apart the defences of her mind. At that moment, as the dragon threw its body against the edges of the darkness, Lucy understood it was trying to get out. It tried to regain control, break free, roam through the endless skies once again.

She had never killed the dragon.

She had only trapped it, and now it sought to be released.

"You shall stay here forever, no matter what you try, Krosulhah. I've slain you, you are a part of me now, and I'm not going to be shattered by you."

An enraged screech filled the darkness, almost making her falter. But she stood her ground against the dragon's crushing will. She had no choice, or she'd be lost in the darkness forever.

The dragon spoke to her again. Its mouth did not move, but Lucy heard its words within her. "You, Dragonborn, are not the first of your kind. Not at all. I've seen your kind come and go, vanish among the pages of time, and yet none of you has truly prevailed against a dragon. Your mortal soul shall be corrupted, devastated upon my will!"

"You've but mistaken. I have only the body of a mortal, but my soul is the same with you. I know your loss. I feel it in my heart, but I won't let it corrupt me. I'm going to defeat Alduin and fulfil my destiny as a Dragonborn, and you cannot stop me"

"Oh, you all do. You all corrupt in the end. There was but one… much of what's known of him is lost to the ages." The dragon moved closer to her, and she did not back down. "One of the Dragonblood, the first of your kind. He served the dragons, was a priest in their order, esteemed, powerful. Then he turned against us. Perhaps, he could've once defeated Alduin… but he still chose otherwise. That is what our power does to you. They say arrogance is the frailty of the Dragonkind… and always fail to add that greed is the frailty of the mortals."

Silence fell to the darkness. Lucy stared the dragon straight into its icy blue eyes, as if trying to learn more, but she couldn't reach any deeper. The curiosity burned her mind, but there were no answers upon her grasp.

"You shall see, mortal," the dragon said and unfolded its tattered wings, "that Alduin is eternal. He cannot be defeated. You and your companions might bring down all the others, but Alduin is nothing like us. He is a god. He will always return. Even if you would defeat him, like the old Tongues did, he would still return. This is what the Scrolls have foretold!"

The dragon knew. It had been there that day, when the bells tolled for Alduin's defeat, knew about the heroes who had killed him – could it know the means they had used to defeat him, too? Lucy reached out her hands, touched those ancient eyes, tried to see through them. Everything she had been looking for was right there.

"Hear me now, Dragonborn, hear me and despair. Upon your death, you, and the souls of the slain dragons you bear within you, shall return to Aetherius. That's as far as this miserable, humiliating bond can tame us. Upon your death, we shall be divided, and we shall be awakened by Alduin. Because he is the firstborn of Akatosh, the Twilight God, the World-Eater, the bringer of the apocalypse! Resisting this, delaying the creation of a new Kalpa, is in vain. Such is his destiny, to destroy this world, this time, so a new one could begin. As it has happened before, it shall happen again, and you cannot stop it."

Lucy was thrown back by a sudden wave of pressure the dragon released. Unrelenting Force, she knew, a desperate measure to keep her out of the treasure of knowledge. She rose again.

"No. I'm not going to let this world end. Humanity shall see another day, for a thousand of years to come – and be Alduin reborn all the same, he will be killed again. As you said yourself, my kind will come and go. When I'm no longer in this world, someone else will take my place as the one fated to destroy Alduin, to keep evil forever at bay. An endless cycle it might be, call it human greed if you want, but it's the greed for life! I fight for the future of mankind!"

"You still do not understand. There will be no one else. You, Dragonborn, are the last of your kind. The last one that'll ever be. Your line of blood will end with you. This is fated, this is known."

The eyes of ice landed on her, the truth in them as precise as it was frightening. Lucy fought not to fall into despair, even as the words ringed on in her mind, forever, until she couldn't deny them anymore.

"And how can you know it for sure?" she asked then. "If you claim to know my fate, then reveal it to me."

The dragon didn't say anything for a while.

"That I cannot do. I can only reveal to you so much you are capable of understanding. The knowledge of a dragon is already within you – what you are seeing now is what you are capable of learning. Forcing yourself to understand this knowledge will break you. Thus far, I'll warn you. But what you decide, is yours to peril."

"As I said, I won't be broken. Show me. Show me my fate."

The ice-cold eyes of the dragon stared right into her. She was searching for a way to defeat Alduin, and now she knew she'd find the answer within her, now. This dragon, Krosulhah, and her knowledge had merged into her soul, and among these shards, she'd find the key.

"If you insist. But, before you'll dwell into the knowledge I hold, you'll have to pass through my pain. If you survive through my death, then you might just be strong enough to witness my life."

Lucy stood bravely in front of the dragon. It roared, then bent forward, and swallowed Lucy into its mouth as the echoes reverberated inside of her mind.

Pain tore through her body as everything went dark again. The dragon's teeth pierced through her, shredded her apart, then she fell, fell endlessly into the bottomless pit of the forbidden knowledge. She recalled the feeling. Visions began to flash in the edges of her consciousness, becoming ever clearer the deeper she descended.

Flashes of forgotten times, aeons of endless dark, rebirth. Alduin's wings covering the sun as Krosulhah emerged from its grave… and what happened next, broke a deep crack in Lucy's consciousness. The pain of the unthinkable, unbearable, overwhelmed her whole essence, yet she was still forced to consider it as a gift.

The visions passed on, yet an iron chain was squeezing her apart. She drowned in the frigid stream of memories, drifted through the skies as a dragon, until finally came the fateful, last day. Warriors and mages amongst the stone ruins, and this fledging of a Dragonblood, almost an abomination to the glory of the trueborn dragons. And as a loyal servant of the Lord, Krosulhah would exterminate them, but protect Alduin's gift at the same time.

And again, Lucy witnessed the battle through the dragon's eyes. Spears of ice pierced through her scales, flames burned her skin, arrows tore apart her tongue, but the mortals were losing. The defeat of the Dragonborn was right at the grasp of her talons… and then came the strike of Skyforged steel. Unexpected, unprepared, it lunged from the dark nothingness and cut apart her tail, robbed her of balance. And as if Lucy's own legs were cut off by the very same sword, she screamed.

Pain blacked her eyes. The ruins of Labyrinthian faded when she escaped to gather her strength. Lucy felt her soul flickering, she was being pulled out of the vision, but she persisted. She fought through the pain, but when she was finally able to see again, she plunged into immeasurable regret. Horror filled her heart as she soared over the snow-covered plaza, where a certain fire wizard stood.

As flames surrounded him, Lucy began to panic. She remembered how she had watched Natsu disappear into the ocean of the very same flames, how for the first time she had been terrified of his power, and now she'd witness it all again. From the skies, she now watched straight into those blazing green eyes, so beautiful yet dangerous, now absent of all fear, wanted to scream his name and tell him to stop, but he wouldn't hear. Her hands still burned from where she had touched him, minutes after he had cast that spell. She couldn't even imagine how badly the dragon had been hurt… but she wouldn't have to imagine for long.

A flaming spear appeared in the mage's hand. It collected all the rage and fury a human heart could bear, transmuted them into fire, but it wasn't enough. He was drawing the flames directly from Oblivion, as if he was a demon himself, and then the weapon was ready. He sprinted forwards, gathered power for the launch, and then he released.

A sharp pain pierced a hole into her chest, brief and slight enough for her to recognize before everything exploded. Her lungs burst up in an inferno hot enough to incinerate everything, the skies and the seas and the mountains and the stars. She screamed as she was cremated alive, withering to ashes in the pyre of her own body. Yet, through the extreme pain, there was one thought that surfaced in her mind. Something he had once said, that she now remembered from word to word.

'I like to think that… that fire is a merciful way to die.'

No, it was not.

'There's no blood, and the shock kills you fast.'

Lucy felt all of her lifeblood swooshing out of the gaping wound in her chest the explosions had left behind, felt it raining to the ground, heard it pattering on ice like rain drums the windowpane.

'It hurts a lot for a short while, but then you just fall into a warm sleep.'

Like a fist of a god, the pain wrapped her into an inescapable grasp as the fire seared her. There was no end to it, no maximum apex, it just grew eternally, exponentially, until she lost herself completely to the pain and there was nothing else in her world.

'The hotter the flames, the cleaner the death.'

And she collapsed to the ground, dropped from the skies like a burning star, and was still alive, bound to an agonizing, slow death.

Then she just screamed.

'Lucy?'

She heard his voice again, not as a memory, but dared not to answer. She couldn't. She knew what would happen next, she remembered everything, and already knew she could not get through that. This had been too much. She knew she'd break, shatter into a million shards, and she hadn't even died yet.

'Hey, Lucy, wake up.'

She gasped for air, but only flames poured down from her mouth. Fire and blood. It seeped through her every cell, vaporized towards the starlit skies.

'Come on, Lucy, wake up now. It's getting kinda scary. Wake up!'

Then she was being pulled out of the nightmare, but the nightmare pulled her back, refusing to let her go. She had chosen this, and would be forced to carry it to the end, but –

"Lucy? Lucy!"

Lucy opened her eyes.

Her entire body was still on fire, paralyzed by the flames licking her skin. Her breathing ragged, tears poured down from her eyes, and her limbs trembled like fallen leaves. The insane pain persisted, lingered on her every nerve for a moment before finally starting to fade. But she did not fall into a warm sleep, as he had promised. It had all been a lie. A lie he told himself to abide the terrors of burning someone alive.

"Thank Kynareth you're okay," Natsu said quietly. Lucy heard his voice, but saw not his face. When he uttered the names of the Divines, it meant things were bad. "Well, relatively. Back to normal, at least…"

Gradually, his features formed from the mist of her vision. He was sitting right beside her, carefully observing her as she awakened. She tried to speak, but words refused to come. She was lying down on the rocky ground, covered with a thick, warm fur cloak. It was dark, but a dying campfire lightened the place. The sight of the flames made her flinch.

Natsu rose up, left her side for a moment, and returned with three bottles. He opened the red one first. "Here, drink this," he urged and placed it on her lips. "I bet you're not feeling too good, but these should help."

She drank. The liquid tasted of blue mountain flowers and crushed butterfly wings. When she had downed the bottle, Natsu opened a blue one, and made her drank it too. After that, he gave her a green one. She felt slightly better, but the potions would take some time to work fully. They had found them in the bandit camp, and somehow known they'd be useful sooner or later.

"Thank you," she managed to utter, quiet and weak, before wiping her eyes to her sleeves. She glanced at her hands, which had been frostbitten, burned, then frozen again, but surprisingly, there was no perceivable damage. The skin on her fingers felt tight and dry, recently healed. Her gaze moved from her hands to the mage, wondering if he had healed her or not. She didn't dare to ask him.

Natsu didn't reply to her thanks. He sat down again, and only then she noticed how tired he looked. Exhausted beyond any measure. It wasn't hard to guess he hadn't slept at all. Considering how much magicka he had overpoured into the terrifying spell with which he had brought a dragon down from the skies, his soul was in dire need of rest. Yet something had kept him awake the whole night long.

As Lucy looked at him, she struggled to believe it had really been him who she had seen through the dragon's memory. When she had witnessed that moment as herself, it had been frightening, but to be incinerated by his flames… There were no words to describe how she felt. Utter awe mixed with terror and disbelief. 'A boy too pretty to be a killer,' had said the last person he had killed. It was an understatement. He was an inferno turned to flesh.

And he had done all that just to protect her.

"Well," he started after a while, and hesitated. "How much do you remember?"

Lucy glanced at him, but he didn't look back. His gaze was fixed on the dying flames, as if in search of any comfort. A reflection of the fire danced in his eyes.

"Everything," Lucy answered.

Then he finally looked at her.

"Everything?"

A dull pain shot through the back of her head when she tried to nod. She rubbed her neck and squeezed shut her eyes, waited for the pain to bypass. When it faded out, she looked at him again. Unless he would see the truth in her eyes, he wouldn't believe it. "Yes. I… I remember everything that happened. The memories are a bit… scattered, and I'm not sure if all of them are real."

Natsu didn't say anything. Perhaps he had expected, hoped for her to have lost her memories again, so that he could leave some things unsaid. It had been bad. Since she had absorbed the dragon's soul, everything had gone straight into Oblivion. From there, her memory had fragmented and blended with the memories of the dragon, like she had two reminiscences of the very same events, from two different perspectives.

The mage pulled his legs close to his chest, placed his hands on his knees and leaned his chin to them. Then Lucy saw the blood. It had turned dark and dry, stained his thin fingers, encrusted on the back of his right hand. She stared at his wound until her memory cleared, strengthened, became so vivid she could recall the taste of his blood in her mouth. This had been real.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice full of shame. "About that."

He shrugged and smiled faintly. Lucy wasn't sure if it was sincere. "It's nothing, really."

It wasn't just nothing, she thought, but couldn't say it. The dying squeal of the newborn dragon consumed her mind once again. It had been too much. At that moment, she had lost all control, became something she wasn't, something between a dragon and a mortal, only driven by feral instincts.

She pressed her mouth into a thin line and tried to cast the disturbing scene away. "No. Don't say that. I… I'm just so sorry. For hurting you in that… in that state. I tried to fight it, but when the little dragon died, I just no longer –"

"Hey, it's okay," he cut her off. He took a glance at his hand, and then at her. "I've been bitten worse, and by worse things than you."

Lucy shook her head. There was very little solace in his words now, even if he meant good. "But that's going to leave an ugly scar."

"I've got uglier scars. This is no big deal."

"You should still have it healed."

"Why should I?" he chuckled dryly. "That's how I'll always remember you, if… if we are ever apart."

Lucy's heart fell as Natsu went quiet, as if suddenly regretting what he had said. He looked away, and so did she. Though he might not have meant it like that, to Lucy it meant that he'd be gone when all of this would be over, just as she had feared, and the only thing he'd remember her from would be the scar on the back of his hand. Nothing more, nothing less. He had to mean it, he just didn't dare to say it. After what had happened today, it would be foolish to stay with her any longer than he had to.

Lucy buried her face into her hands, fought away the tears, wondering how did she ever become so… dependant on him. The thought of him leaving broke her from the inside, made her fall into the void of loneliness, even though he was still there. In that small, silent moment, there were a million things she wanted to say. A million things she wished he would say, that even if she'd fall, he would stay, that none of her flaws would turn him away. But she swallowed her words, silenced in shame, choked by the belief that she was supposed to be stronger than this.

When the silence carried on, Lucy raised her eyes again and observed the hall. The light was scarce, but she could still see the outlines of two sleeping persons on the other side of the fire. They were Erza and Gray, she assumed. The battle had taken its toll on each one of them, and perhaps that was the reason Gray had stayed with them. Wandering back to Morthal while wounded like that would've killed him. Lucy's gaze stayed on the sleeping frost mage, and anger rose to her throat like bile, sour and hot. She forced herself to swallow it.

"It shouldn't have ended that way," Natsu spoke suddenly. "I'm sorry I couldn't… make him stop. This," he paused and lifted his wounded hand, "is just a result of that."

Lucy turned towards Natsu. He had noticed her looking at Gray, possibly sensed the hatred she felt, but it wasn't her hatred. Natsu didn't need to apologize, feel sorry for her, or keep dwelling in pointless self-loathing when nothing about it was his fault.

"It had to be done," Lucy assured. Her voice wavered, but she tried to remain confident. Otherwise, he wouldn't believe her and stop blaming himself. "Gray did the right thing."

"But you –"

"It wasn't me at that moment, Natsu. It was a child of Krosulhah he killed, not a child of mine. I'm not… I'm not grieving it, not really. But…"

"Krosulhah," Natsu repeated, brows lifted. He pronounced the name wrong, perhaps hadn't heard it right at first. "The frost dragon?"

Lucy nodded.

Natsu fell silent for a moment. "It's still alive within you, isn't it?"

"Alive? No. It's dead. We killed it," Lucy told, a bit of insecurity lingering among her words. "But at that moment, its soul was still aware of what happened. It took control over me. And I think… Yes, it still exists somewhere within me. I'm just hoping that…"

Her voice died down. She didn't even know what she was hoping for. That the dragon wouldn't take over her again, and try to kill all of her friends?

"How did you learn its name?" Natsu asked.

She sighed. "Seems like there's a lot I'll need to explain to you."

"If you don't want to talk about it, then you don't have to."

"Natsu," Lucy said, looking him into the eyes, "I have to. I've avoided talking about this for… too long. And I don't have anyone else to talk to."

Hesitating a bit, Natsu nodded. Lucy attempted to stand up, which was more challenging than she had assumed. She, too, was all out of magicka, and her body had taken a great hit as well. Every movement hurt. It seemed that being taken over by a dragon was too draining for human limits to bear.

"Come with me," she beckoned.

Natsu followed her, and the campfire was smothered when he left its presence.

In the darkness, Lucy fumbled forward, guided by a distant memory of the layout of the hall. She attempted to cast Candlelight, but the light did not come. She heard silent footsteps behind her, and soon she found an open doorway, where the moons cast their light on the earth.

"The old priests of the Dragon Cult gathered in this hall," Lucy explained as they walked out of the building into the cold night air. "Krosulhah, the frost dragon, had been one of those who coexisted with humans during the treaty the cultists formed with the dragons. It had seen Labyrinthian – no, Bromjunaar, in its days of great glory, and great… terror."

Natsu glanced at her quizzically. "So, you've learnt all this by absorbing the dragon's soul?"

She nodded faintly. "Yes. The dragon's memories and knowledge cannot be separated from its soul and power. While I was unconscious, I sifted through them. The same thing happened with Sahklonir, but it wasn't this… intense." She raised her eyes to the streets they walked on – they looked so different now compared to her memory. "I saw them, the people who lived here, the dragons filling the skies. Flashes of time from thousands of years ago, how it was then, and how it will be again if the dragons win."

The snow crunched below their feet, filling up the silence. As the fire mage didn't say anything, Lucy guessed he was processing this information in his mind. Perhaps he imagined the streets as she had described, full of people stripped blank under Alduin's everlasting cruelty.

"Lucy," Natsu called suddenly. "If you can go through the dragon's memories, is it possible for you to find out how Alduin was defeated there?"

Lucy silenced again.

"I'm afraid not. I have a memory of the bells tolling, day and night, for Alduin's fall," she whispered. Old belltowers stood on the edges of the city, lonely and abandoned, and the bells had long ago been lost to the winds of time. She could still hear them ringing. "Krosulhah was here that day, not on the battleground, which was someplace else. And even if it had somehow learned how Alduin was killed, I don't think… I don't think I'm ready to learn it yet. Because when I tried to –"

When she tried to tell him what had happened, she suddenly choked. Choked on the terror of being eaten by the dragon, even though it hadn't been real, but what had followed, had been very real.

"Take your time," he told softly.

Lucy cleared her throat, gathered herself briefly. "The dragon offered me a chance," Lucy said, looking into his eyes. "I don't know how to describe it, but I talked with Krosulhah. It could've been just my mind playing tricks with me, but it felt more real than that. The dragon talked to me, in a language I understood, and I could speak back to it."

Natsu didn't seem to understand, but he still listened. "What did it say?"

"If you survive through my death, then you might just be strong enough to witness my life," she answered and shuddered. "Those things I was able to witness were things I could comprehend. Simple memories, nothing else. But if I wish to dwell deeper than that, I have to… I have to remember its death. No… experience it, and be strong enough to live through it. I tried, but it would've killed me if you hadn't woken me up."

"Experience its death?" he wondered, his tone growing serious. "You mean…"

They passed by the scenery which had turned into the battleground, the maze of streets they had been lost into, the collapsed building they had sought shelter at. The main street led to the plaza, and approaching it made her nervous. Natsu seemed to sense it, as his presence suddenly grew tense. Lucy took a deep breath. She had to tell him, and she had to be honest, or it would eat her up from the inside.

"I made it so far until a spear hit my chest and filled my lungs with your fire," she told, with a voice so silent it was barely heard. "When you said that fire was a merciful way to die… you were lying."

Natsu halted completely. Lucy stopped beside him, knowing his eyes were on her, but she couldn't turn towards him. A soft night breeze blew cold on her, played for a moment with her hair, and then it was gone again.

"… shit," he mumbled, and tried to say something else, but Lucy spoke first.

"It just means that I'm not ready for it yet. Not strong enough. I should've listened to Arngeir. He was right all along," she told woefully. "Meditating at High Hrothgar was a safe way for me to come to terms with Sahklonir's memories, so I guess I'll have to continue that habit. If I don't consciously go through them, they'll unravel in my dreams, and that's… that's quite terrible."

"I… I can't even imagine what it's like."

"Yes, nightmares I could handle, but actual vivid memories of slaughtering children and burning down villages?" Lucy shuddered. "It's a curse for sure."

Without knowing what to say, they carried on. Natsu slowed his pace as he noticed where Lucy was heading to. She walked towards the crater on the ground, where the dragon's remains lay. Before he could ask, Lucy decided to explain. The time of keeping him in the dark had come to an end.

"I have to go there for one last time," Lucy said as they finally reached the scene. "And don't be afraid. I'm not going to let Krosulhah take control of me again. Consider it as… making amends."

As they descended down the crater's slope, Natsu asked, "Do you think you could control the frost dragon's power? I mean, if you weren't trying to kill us all, that would've been… cool, or… I don't know. You were pretty strong in that form."

Lucy shrugged. "I don't know yet. Maybe, with enough time and training." She fell silent for a moment. "But it could be dangerous if I lost control."

In theory, it could work. However, Lucy's memory of that moment was fragmented. Her hands had been covered in frozen scales and icy talons had formed in the place of her nails, but otherwise, she couldn't tell what it had been like. Using such a powerful form in combat could be a big advantage, or then a complete disaster.

"Then we'd just stop you."

Lucy smiled slightly. It was sweet how he said we, meaning Erza, even Gray too, but then she realised he was loathing himself for not being able to stop her by himself. It wasn't easy for herself to remember either. She had been aware the whole time, forced to watch as she almost killed him, and now her mind was shattering the memories like broken glass.

"I appreciate it."

They reached the bottom of the crater. The dragon's white bones gleamed in the moonlight. There was haunting beauty in the scene, an eerie feeling of something immortal, eternal coming to an end. They both stopped and just stared at the skeleton in silence. No ghosts lingered there, but for a moment she wondered how terrifying it would be to encounter a ghostly dragon.

Then, released from her frozen state, Lucy walked to the smaller skeleton laying too far away from its mother, cut in half, abandoned. She crouched beside it, tried to touch it, but she pulled her hands away. Her heart wrenched by the sight she beheld, tears welled up in her eyes, but she fought them back. Once more, she reminded herself that this wasn't her child, and no matter how ominous the dragon's words had been, it didn't mean they would be true...

You, Dragonborn, are the last of your kind. The last one that will ever be.

Lucy bit her lower lip as her chin began to tremble. She heard as Natsu stepped closer, perhaps to secure she wouldn't turn into anything draconic again. She traced her hands around the bones of the little dragon, not quite daring to touch it, like it would shatter and disappear if she did. Its skull was small enough to fit her palm.

Your line of blood will end with you.

Then she picked the skeleton into her hands, somehow knowing it would be the closest thing to a child of her own she would ever hold in her arms. How she knew it, she wasn't sure of. An intuition, a faint premonition, a glimpse to the future still shrouded in the mists of fate. She might have once dreaded the thought of bearing sons to a man she did not love, but now she knew she'd never bear a single son to anyone. Trembling helplessly, she held the bones in her arms, pressed them against her chest and kissed them goodbye.

With tears rolling down her cheeks, she rose, and carried the dragon back to its real mother. Gently, she placed them beneath the larger skull, adjusted them so it looked like Krosulhah was caressing the baby with its head. Then she traced her fingers upon the bones and mumbled a silent prayer, one she had heard a funeral once in the past, dedicated to Arkay, the god of the cycle of birth and death.

"Arkay, bring light to the dark. Arkay, bring hope to the hopeless. Arkay, protect these souls." She paused for a breath, swallowed tears. "Guide me through these times, that I may once again see your light."

A strange sense of peace filled her upon this prayer. The grief was still there, even though she had said she wasn't grieving. A part of her did. She then glanced over her shoulder, and saw the fire mage standing there, rubbing his eyes with his hand.

"This had to be done," Lucy assured, voice shivering. "As horrible as it was, Gray did the right thing. The egg wasn't even ready to be laid. It would've taken years before it would've matured, and even longer for the dragon to hatch. And with its mother dead, it would not have survived. It would've just petrified here… and the result would've been the same."

"I know, but…" Natsu whispered. "I'm sorry it had to happen like that. I…"

Lucy smiled, sad and warm at the same time. "Don't be. Besides, there is this one thing… one more reason why it had to be killed."

"Well?"

She lowered her gaze back to the remains of the little dragon. She dreaded to say what she knew, but she had to. Keeping it as a secret wouldn't make it disappear.

"It was a son of Alduin."

Silence fell again.

"… what?" the mage asked then, eyes widened, glistening with tears. "How… how can you know?"

Lucy sighed as she closed her eyes. "As a 'gift' for its resurrection, Alduin…" she started, but couldn't say it. She just couldn't. "Krosulhah was a female dragon, at this certain age of its existence when it could bear a child. Dragons have only one period of time when they can breed, only once, and Alduin… took advantage of that."

Natsu stared at her in utter silence. Lucy stood up again, walked beside him and beckoned him to leave with her. If she'd stay there a moment longer, the grief would paralyze her. Or not grief – it was empathy. She felt bad for the dragon, pitied it, pitied its fate. They climbed out of the crater, but Lucy couldn't stop thinking about it, even after the dragons were out of her sight.

Lucy knew not where to head next, and assumed Natsu felt the same. The dawn was still hours away and the night was chilly, but moving along kept her warm. In fact, she noticed that the cold didn't bother her as much as it used to. Lucy raised her eyes to the starlit sky once again. Of all the things in these ruins, only it had remained the same over the span of aeons.

"At least there's still something beautiful left in this world," Lucy sighed. Natsu gazed at her, but did not really say anything. A sudden question appeared in her mind, a brilliant way to take her thoughts someplace else from all of this gloom and despair. "Hey, which stars were you born under?"

Natsu shrugged. "I have no idea."

There were thirteen constellations on the sky, some of which were visible right now. As it was halfway through Frostfall, the stars of the Tower and the Shadow were the most prominent. A book called 'The Firmanent' had taught her the details of the cosmic heavens, and she had read it many times in her childhood.

"Then which month were you born?" Lucy asked.

"Sun's Height."

She flashed a brief smile. "So, your birthsign is the Apprentice. Should've guessed. Those born under that sign usually become talented mages, as their magicka regenerates faster than usual. In return, they're a bit vulnerable to magic, but your half-elven blood could balance it out. You Bretons are more resistant to spells, and I've read that you can actually absorb some of the hostile magic. It's kinda cool, actually."

Natsu chuckled and looked down. "If you know all that, you've read too many books," he said. "Well, what about you? What's your sign? Honestly, I've never even thought about such things."

"I was born in Sun's Dawn, so my sign is the Lover," Lucy answered and smiled slightly, a bit embarrassed. "Graceful and passionate by nature, one who seems to learn everything with ease, they say. Sometimes I feel like I'm just full of shit."

"You aren't, really."

Lucy lifted an eyebrow. "Graceful or full of shit?"

"Depends on your mood," he sneered. "No, honestly, I don't think either one of us has actually been at our best during this time. We've been through too much shit. It doesn't mean we're filled with it. More like… covered in it."

Lucy had to laugh a little. "Sometimes," she sighed, "it's hard to remember who I was before all of this happened. It feels so distant now." Lucy looked down. "I keep wondering how much of me can be salvaged when this is over. If this is ever over."

Natsu went silent for a moment. "Is that what you're afraid of? Losing yourself?"

And somehow, he managed to put everything into words perfectly, put a name for her conflicted, messed up thoughts. That was exactly what she was afraid of, had been afraid for a while. She had already lost everything else.

Lucy nodded, her voice suddenly becoming quiet. "I don't want to turn into something I've sworn I'd never become."

Natsu looked at her for a while, figuring out what to say. "Even if you do, you can still turn back. If we've changed into something we despise, we can also change back into something good," he told then. "We might never be the same we once were, but we can always become better."

Lucy turned her eyes to him, but just briefly. He had said the exact words she needed to hear, leaving her dumbfounded, and almost moved to tears. She just had to remember who she had been. Treasure the little things she had once loved, the small details that had made her. And that's what she wanted, to return to what she used to be, and let him know her as Lucy.

"I hope so," Lucy answered and gazed up to the stars. "I used to love astronomy almost as much as I loved magic… well, the stars and the magic actually go hand in hand. Did you know that the stars are actually little holes to Aetherius?"

"Well," Natsu answered and glanced at her, before turning his eyes back to the stars. "I did not know that."

Lucy wasn't sure if she had read this from a book or learned it from the frost dragon, but she could explain the lore as she had always known it true.

"After the creation of Nirn, a god called Magnus and other spirits fled back there, tearing holes to the veil between the worlds. Aetherius is the origin of all magic, and the sun and the stars are the passages from where magic comes to this world," Lucy explained, her eyes sparkling. "And we Nords believe that our souls ascend to Aetherius upon our death. My mother and father are somewhere out there, amongst those stars, watching over me."

"I thought you Nords went to Sovngarde, or whatever place it was called."

"Sovngarde is a place in Aetherius, but only those who die bravely in a battle are allowed to enter the Hall of Valor. It's a paradise for Nords. Pain and illness vanish there. Revelry is never-ending, mead flows freely, and the greatest Nords of all time compete in tests of strength and prowess."

Natsu chuckled. "I liked the mead part."

Lucy laughed a little. "Well, what about you? Do Bretons have any similar beliefs? I'm not sure if I've ever actually read into that."

"Until now, I'm not sure if I believed in anything," he answered, shrugging. "I never thought about afterlife, or where I'd go after I die. I never really gave a damn. Considering my way of life, maybe I should've thought about it more often." He silenced for a moment. "Igneel always said that death is not the end, but the beginning. I'm not sure where he is now. Possibly out there in this Aetherius with his ancestors."

If Lucy had to describe that moment with one word, it would've been comfort. Just standing there in the darkness with a friend by her side, staring into the stars, knowing those who'd once stood beside them were out there, safe, happy, free of all the pain.

"I'm sure Igneel is watching over you," Lucy whispered after a while. "Your mother, too."

Natsu smiled slightly. "And possibly telling my mom all the bad things we did together so that she can go insane again." He chuckled, but there was no joy in it, only sorrow. "He'd be like 'Oh hi Natsu's crazy mom! Did you know that your son burned half of Shor's Stone and nearly got executed for that? You didn't? Well, want to take a look at his bounty list?"

Lucy glanced at him, furrowing her brows. "Just how long was your bounty list?"

"Too fucking long," he groaned and shielded his eyes into his palms, dragged his fingers down his face, then shook his head. "About remembering who we were before all of this happened… Well, I'm actually pretty glad I'm not like that anymore."

Somehow, each time he talked about his past, it made her curious. What if they had met back then, as a wanted pyromancer and an innocent merchant girl? Lucy doubted they would have formed any kind of friendship. Despite all the turmoil they had gone through together, it somehow felt like it was the way it was meant to be all along.

"As you said, we can always change for the better," Lucy answered. "Your mother would be proud of you."

"Yeah, after driving her into a nervous wreck, I think I owe it to her to behave properly for once."

The sadness in his voice made her flinch. Though she could imagine how nerve-wracking being his mother had to be, she doubted it was the whole truth. He might've been mischievous with his tricks and pranks, like hiding frogs in his parents' bed, but he was no evil. Had never been. She knew it in her heart.

"I'm sure it wasn't your fault that she lost her mind. Sometimes that just… happens," Lucy tried to assure, but it had no visible effect. His face stayed as cold and still as a stone.

"Maybe. Maybe not. I've never actually heard of what she was like before I was born. I only know what she was like with me."

"Then what was she like? You've never really told me."

Natsu went silent again, and for a moment Lucy feared he'd never speak again. "It's not something I really want to talk about, but…" he hesitated, but a small hint in his eyes told 'I trust you', and he continued. "I don't know what her illness was. Not exactly brain rot, but something fucked up her mind. Sometimes, it was better and the other times… it wasn't. She was happy at times. A good mother. I think it started getting worse when my brother left."

Deep down, Lucy was incredibly glad that he finally spoke about it, and at the same time, it just saddened her more. She knew not what to say, and perhaps she didn't need to say anything. It was enough that she listened. No one else probably had listened to him before.

"Worrying over your brother had to be draining for her mind, if she was already in a bad condition," Lucy commented.

"Sure was. When it was getting bad again, she became… I don't know, apathic, at first," Natsu started. "Then she started seeing things. Hearing things, having long conversations with our dogs even after they had gotten tired of listening to her and fucked off. She was never violent or anything, she just… disappeared. She was there, physically, but she wasn't really in this world at all. But after a few months, sometimes half a year, she returned to normal. Or what was normal for her." Natsu took a deep breath, and Lucy could see how he fought back the tears. "And the last time it happened, I was still hoping she'd come back. She never did."

As he stared into nothingness, Lucy's heart was struck with guilt. When she had vanished into the dragon's memories, had it brought all of that back to him? He had pulled her out of her nightmares, but how many times had he done it with his mother? Or tried, with no effort?

"I tried to help her, you know, but I couldn't do anything," he whispered, looking at her. "She just slowly faded away. And I think that the last time she was lost in there, she never actually wanted to come back. Wherever she went, it had to be better than this."

And at that moment, Lucy swore to herself that she wouldn't disappear. No matter how deep into despair the dragons would bring her, she would always rise. She just couldn't make him go through that again, to watch someone fading away before his very own eyes.

"I hope she's at peace now," she said quietly.

Natsu smiled sadly. "Me too."

Then, it was quiet for a long while.

They kept walking through the ruined streets, guided by bright moonlight, with no rush to anywhere. They passed by the gathering hall, climbed up some stairs, up and down and up again, until they reached a platform lifted to the upper district of the city, and stopped there. They had watched over the ruins from there yesterday, but they looked so different at nighttime. Eerie, haunting, yet still so beautiful.

"Tell me, Lucy," Natsu said suddenly, as if he had been thinking about something the whole time they had been silent. "How did I hear your voice?"

For the briefest moment, Lucy didn't know what he meant, but then it struck her. It had been when Krosulhah had forced her to cast Blizzard, a spell she couldn't even comprehend yet, intending to take them both down with it. From there, her memories were the most clouded. If he hadn't brought it up, she would have believed it hadn't happened at all. She remembered calling for his help, but when he had actually answered, she had just thought it hadn't been real.

"I think that we were both dying," she answered, still terrified of that moment. "Partially, our souls had begun to ascend into Aetherius. I must have found you on the way."

Then, when she had felt herself leaving her body, she had sought for the last resort to break the spell. At that moment, her death had been the only way she had seen to break free of Krosulhah's grasp, and save Natsu. She had been wrong. When she had placed the dagger into his hand, he had turned it away, chosen not to hurt her, even if it would cost him his life. And such a small, simple gesture had spoken more than a million words ever could. He had already stayed when she had fallen. If he had truly chosen to die with her, it meant that none of her flaws could turn him away.

"So, the stars were the afterlife, after all."

"Stars?" Lucy wondered. She wiped the tears from her eyes, that had formed discreetly during the silence.

"Yes. I remember the stars. I wanted not to follow them, when I was in the dark, but they lured me. Called for me, asked me to join them eternally. And when I heard you, I felt like… like I was dropped from a great height, back to my body. I can't really explain it." He went silent again. "So, now I know where I'll go when I die." He raised his eyes to the night sky, to the stars that glimmered in his eyes. "To Aetherius."

Lucy turned towards him hastily and whispered, "Don't go there without me."

She knew not why she had said that, but when Natsu smiled at her, the regrets faded.

"But isn't your place in Sovngarde, with the other great Nordic heroes?" he asked.

"I don't want to go there if you cannot come with me."

At that moment, looking into his eyes where the stars danced, she knew in her heart she'd refuse her place in Sovngarde. A paradise for all Nordic heroes it might be, but without him there beside her, it would be nothing else than eternal loneliness.

"Then don't go where I cannot follow you," Natsu answered.

And then they stood there in the darkness of the night, in perfect silence, gazing at the distant stars until they were gone.


A/N: Hi guys, hope you enjoyed the chapter!

This was probably the most emotional (and fluffiest) chapter of this story so far. I've really enjoyed deepening the friendship between Natsu and Lucy. They are already very important to each other, but there's no romantic pressure from either sides (yet, but I think there's soon going to be), which I think it's beautiful about them. They are there for each other when they need support the most. I've also loved finally exploring the dragon lore in more depth, and I hinted towards a few major plot points which will unravel in the future, possibly over the whole span of the entire story, if you've seen what I did there!

(Ps. Feel free to grant yourself the most-attentive-reader-of-the-year award if you caught it)

I've been thinking a lot about how to bring Lucy's Fairy Tail canon connection to the constellations into this story. There is astronomy in Skyrim, but the months are named differently and the constellations aren't exactly the same as in our world. To be lore-friendly, I'll go with Skyrim's constellations, and gradually introduce them before deciding what to do with her spirits. I think it could be possible for her to learn how to conjure celestial spirits (Like Celestial Warrior, Celestial Mage) but I wouldn't be naming them after her Fairy Tail horoscope spirits. There's a massive amount of lore I need to study before I fully decide what to do.

I still haven't decided if Natsu's mom was just schizophrenic, or a worshipper of Sheogorath, the Daedric Prince of Madness, or if the nightshade poisoning fucked up her mind. This detail itself won't have much effect to the story.

I also just realised that I've written Natsu as an insomniac here. In Fairy Tail he basically sleeps all the time, wherever he wants, whenever he wants. But I bet that if I was this Skyrim Natsu I wouldn't be sleeping at all either. Wonder how long he can stay awake before he starts to see dwarves lol.

So, Natsu is born in Sun's Height which equals to July, and his birthsign is the Apprentice. Lucy is born in Sun's Dawn which equals to February, and her birthsign is the Lover. I think their horoscopes would be Leo and Aquarius probably. But I'm not that much of a horoscope person, I like MBTI more when it comes to labeling personalities lol :p In which case Natsu is ESFP and Lucy is an ENFJ, though they are both under pretty extreme stress which makes them behave like unhealthy INTJ's and ISTP's. I think I'll need to write an additional blog post about that…

Many notes to Wintersun – Land of Snow and Sorrow for inspiring the flashback in the beginning, Trees of Eternity – A Million Tears for inspiring the scenes between Natsu and Lucy.

Anyway, thanks for all the love and support! It really means everything to me.