Corad: This is a new story I've only just started writing. It does contain some humour, even though it's meant to be kinda serious. I hope you guys will find it alright, seeing my writing skills aren't as good as Bijoux's.
Anyhow, enjoy the first chapter of this weird, weird story.
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh, but I do own this fic.
The 'Joy' of friendship
Chapter 1 – The beginning of the end
"Sunday afternoon. Wonder if he's still here?" I mutter silently, approaching one of my back windows. Sure enough, I see a single green tent, put up neatly, just beside my helicopter pad.
I don't know why Yugi has to camp out in my back yard. He must be stupid or something. "Hey Seto. Is Yugi still out there?" I turn my head around, and see Mokuba walk into the lounge. He looks exhausted for some strange reason, with his hair all bushy and….wait….his hair is always like that.
"Yes he is." I snarl, leaning closer to the window. "Well, I think he might want to talk to you or something. I mean, he's been out there for days now." I roll my eyes as I see Yugi's starfish head poke out of his tent. I wonder what he's doing when I spot Tristan and Joey stumble across my yard.
I can't hear what they're saying. Probably confabbing about shifts now. Yeah, they're probably devising camping schedules, so no matter what; one of them is always here. Typical.
"So, why don't you go out there again?" Mokuba asks, and I turn away from Yugi and the geeks to see Mokuba sitting in his chair. "He's protesting. He wants me to come out. Don't you see Mokuba. He thinks that if he protests, I'll change my mind." I snarl, raising a fist and shaking it in anger.
"What are you on about?" Poor innocent little Mokuba. He didn't have to witness my conversation with Midget man two weeks ago. It was a bad day for me, well….yeah me, and I was happily driving my blimp.
"Kaiba, why do you reject friends?" From that question, I knew this wasn't going anywhere pretty. "It's worthless. Now get out my room." Yugi stands back, but proceeds with his pointless questioning. "No seriously Kaiba. It's as if you don't like it."
"Oh, you're a real genius Yugi. Maybe I should put you on the case of…..GET OUTTA MY ROOM!" Still, Yugi doesn't leave. How hard is it to get through to him. "Well, maybe you should spend some joyful filled days with us."
Next thing Yugi knew, he was lying face down in the hall, the door shut tight behind him.
So, from that fateful day two weeks ago, I've been harassed by a certain member of the Motou family. "But, if you just go out and tell him to bum off, maybe he'll leave." Ok, why can't Mokuba be as smart as me?
"Look, if I go out there, I will be forced to spend time with him and his sponge headed friends. Understand?" I snap, trying to explain the most basic thing to him. He shrugs and heads out to the door. "Well, it's your problem. Now that the whole squad is out there, you'll never get a break." He leaves; snacking on a candy bar which resembles my newly bought one from the shop two weeks ago.
I um….haven't left the house for two weeks. If I did, I'd be an instant target for pineapple head. Instead, I've been recruiting tactics to escape my mansion. "KAIBA!" I look back at the window, and see Joey's face and hands on the glass. He's doing that whole gross face thing, and putting smudges all over my clean window.
"WHEELER!" I shout, but he continues doing it. This is probably as trap. It has to be. Wheeler isn't that stupid to dirty my things. Instant death would be at his doorstep if he did. Yes, they're doing this so I run outside, to beat him to a pulp, and then Yugi would appear beside me, and drone on about friendship again.
"Get off my WINDOW!" I roar, but he makes the window worse. Great, Joey smudge, on my stuff. I shake in rage, before spotting Mokuba out in the yard. He starts talking to Joey, who is then joined my Tristan and Yugi. They're all nodding as Mokuba points to me, caged in my lounge like the caged animal I am.
It's not so bad. Maybe Mokuba is just trying to create a diversion, so I can board my copter……and fly off into the distant. It's a great plan! I take one last glance at Mokuba, who is 'occupying' geek team, and sneak out the lounge and to my room. I find my wallet and keys, and run to the front door.
No sign of geek squad. I leap out my front door and roll over to my bush. Yep, sign is clear. I stand up straight and brush dirt and twigs off me, and casually walk around the side. "Yeah, maybe we could go to the beach next weekend." I stop and lean around the corner of the mansion. Mokuba is suggesting friendship places. "Traitor." I hiss, my eyes turning to slits.
Right, my mind is now focused back on my escape. I take three sixty degrees view around, then crawl around my hedges. I manage to finally make it to my copter, without anyone noticing. I hoist myself into the copter silently, and catch the sun in my watch. Directing it back at Mokuba's eye, he looks at me and nods his head.
"Sorry guys. The neighbor's dog is digging up Seto's flowers again." He makes up a lame excuse, but the idiots never even thought twice about it. This gives Mokuba time to board the helicopter, and for me to start the engine.
It feels so good to out of there. Two whole weeks. I made up some lame excuse that I had the dreaded lurgy because of the time I've missed at work. No one mentioned anything against me. I sigh and let the blades turn around until they're at the full speed. Laughing menacingly, I push the stick forward, and the copter rises. Yugi and friends are watching as I finally escape their evil clutches.
Or maybe it was the fact that Yugi's tent was no more. The force of the wind from the blades sent Yugi's tent flying. It got shredded repeatedly before falling pathetically on the ground in front of them.
"Seto, that was mean." I hear Mokuba mumble, but I snort at the thought of me being mean. Yeah, as if I could be mean….."Ah hahahahahahahahahahahahah!" Ok, so that was pretty pathetic. I am mean. Totally mean. Nothing but mean.
"What are you laughing at?" I turn my head slightly to see a disgusted Mokuba staring up at me. "Oh, I was laughing at my pure intelligent plan, the fact that Yugi's tent is no more, and that I've finally escaped my prison." I laugh, as a bird flies into the top propeller. Blood and guts fly everywhere and Mokuba hunches over as if to be sick.
"Yes, my ingenious plan." I murmur, still replaying the Yugi tent thing in my mind. What sort of an idiot puts a tent right next to a helicopter pad anyway? "Well, if you're such a genius, why didn't you dodge that bird?"
"Look Mokuba. Do I look like god to you? Huh? Maybe it was the bird's fault. It has eyes, it should've moved out the way. It's like the pecking order, I am bigger, smarter and better looking than some bird and I'm flying in this copter. I rule the sky, and everything around it."
I must have lost Mokuba somewhere along the way, because he had a puzzled look on his face. Ok, so he's not smarter than me. Who's denying it anyway. I sigh and see Yugi's tent shredding to bits one last time, when Mokuba catches my attention. "Um, Seto. We're carrying extra weight."
"What?!" I hiss, and he points to a small dial. "When it's just us two, it's not this heavy." Ok, who's the wise guy? "Well, maybe you've gotten fatter, my brother." I snarl, watching as a parakeet hits the windshield. Why must birds be so dumb?
"Seto, it's another sixty kilos! If I had put on sixty kilos in two weeks, then I'd be fatter than you!"
"Are you calling me fat!" I snap, leering at him from the joystick. "Um, no. I mean, I don't even weigh sixty kilos. How?" He starts, but I stop dead, staring blankly out the window. Apart from the jet hurtling towards us, I'm concerned with what's inside the copter.
"Quiet." I whisper, listening as hard as I can. Yes, just as I suspected. Yugi's in here. I can smell him. "What is it?" Mokuba asks timidly. "He's here." I say, looking at the seats in the back and seeing a pair of legs. "He's right here."
"Huh?" Mokuba asks again, and I finger the blue legs. "Oh. Um Seto, I think you should actually see who it is first before you jump to any conclusions." Maybe Mokuba does have a point. I jump to so many conclusions. There was even this one time, when I believed Duke and Tristan were gay.
Hey, wait a minute, that was true! Oh, well, yeah….."What do you mean?" I snicker, and he rolls his eyes. He learns over to the back seat, and drags a sleeping Yami into view. "What?! What are you doing here?!" I snap, and Yami instantly wakes up. "Oh, I um got in here, when you let your guard down for that split second. And I do it again. Good day."
I watch as he tries to open a window. The idiot is planning on jumping out. The ground is over a hundred meters below us, and he's gonna jump out. "Mokuba, restrain him." I say, rolling my eyes and focusing back on the controls. A lot of screaming and groaning goes on, but eventually Mokuba has him tied to the seat. Where he got the rope, is a mystery.
"So, why are you in here?" Mokuba asks cheerfully, and Yami clears his throat importantly. "Yugi said it was a one man tent, so I camped out in the back of the copter. It was fun until I found a Rexona deodorant can and sprayed it everywhere. I kinda suffocated and died."
"How can you've died if you're alive now?" I mutter, turning the copter around to head back home. Either Yugi is still there, or he's left to mourn the loss of his only Yami, Yami. Or, he could still be there, mourning Yami and the tent! OH NO!
"Well, God had pity on me. Sent me back down here. Said something about Heaven…..and hell for that matter….aren't ready for a five thousand year old idiot to join their clan. Fair enough I suppose." Ok, I seriously just want to get home now. I don't care if Yugi attacks me. I have multiple supplies of sticks, brooms, mops, chimney sweeps….you name it, and I've got it.
"Well, maybe Seto should keep his deodorant out the copter." Mokuba mumbles to Yami, but I hear it anyway. "Mokuba, that was not mine! It was….it was……it…." I'm absolutely clueless as to who owned it, and even if I did know, they wouldn't believe me.
"Whatever bro." Yep, I'm angry again. I'm always angry for that matter. You know, you could say I survive on anger. "Hey, can we stop off at Macca's? I'm hungry." Yami had better shut up now, or I will personally throw him out, even if Yugi kills me for it.
Spending the next ten minutes heading home, and having a few ducks who are on their way south splat all over the white paint of my copter, I realize that Yami and Mokuba were made for each pother. I start pouting at the thought. Stupid Yami….stupid Mokuba…."Look Seto, I know you like Ishizu." Mokuba pipes up all of a sudden.
I turn and glare at him. So, little Miss Pharaoh and chimney sweep Fred thinks it's alright to talk about my love life behind my back. "I hate her. She stole Obelisk from me!" I snarl, but Yami puts his hand up importantly. "Actually, that was me when I was still using Yugi. I have it right here you know." I roll my eyes. Ok, well that's one for them. They may have won this round.
"Hey, I thought he liked Joey." Yami says to Mokuba. My eye starts twitching unpleasantly, as I swerve the copter around a bit. "Yeah, you were just saying the other day how much you liked him, hey Seto."
"Mokuba, not now. I said I hated him a lot, and I wish he was there so I could pound him into a pulp, and pound that pulp into more pulp." I hiss, pushing the stick down to land my beauty. "Yeah, but you have pictures everywhere. You even took a picture of him in the spa!"
"Mokuba!" I shout, pushing the joystick in all directions, swerving it everywhere, causing them both as much discomfort, so they'd shut up. It was more like being on a simulator ride, except when the helicopter crashed into the pad on an angle and caught alight. I ran out laughing cruelly, a small flame on my white coat. Mokuba's hair was on fire, and Yami managed to wander slowly out the fire, unharmed.
"Make it stop!" Mokuba shouts, and a bucket of water it thrown at him. His hair is put out, but is now dripping wet. Ok, so no one wants to help me. I laugh even more loudly. Yes, I have lost it. All the patience I kept on the surface, and all the anger and rage I've held inside, has now erupted.
"Ah hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!" I scream, and a bucket of water is thrown on my now, quite large fire, on my shoulder. "Heheheheheh yyyyyoooouuuuu!!!!!" I hiss, pointing at Yugi with the bucket in his hands. He looks confused, and is taking a few steps back. "I should have done this a long time ago." I snarl, ripping the bucket off him and forcing it over his starfish shaped head. He starts screaming and crying, making Yami come over.
He points his Puzzle in my face, and mutters something. All of a sudden, I feel happy and patient again. I take the time to look around, and see Mokuba, wiping water off his face, my copter, in flames, burning away happily, Croquet, doing a form of Brittney Spears dance in front of Joey and Tristan, and Yugi crying as Yami tries to force the bucket off his head.
All is well. Yes, all is….wait a minute….."NNNNOOOOO!!!!!!" I scream, spotting a freshly made Tipi. "AARRGGGHHGHHGHGHGRRAAAGHGH!" I cry, dropping on my knees right in front of the towering Indian home. "YYYUUUUGGGGIIII!!!!"
Corad: So, was it OK? I kinda had doubts of sumbitting more stuff, because of lack of enthusiasm for my Jerry Springer one.
If you want more Chapters, I'm looking for more than one review. And if you really wanted to, you could read my other story, which is called Mishap on Jerry Springer. It's funny and entertaining, because it involves a mad Seto and a guilty Joey. The stupidity just carries itself on that story.
See ya for now, anyway. Please, please, please review. It means alot if you do! I need to know if this is worth continuing on with. It's going to get a lot better and funnier later on, probably in chapter two or three.
