CHAPTER 38: KINDRED JUDGEMENT
A ray of moonlight descended from the crack in the cave's ceiling. It glimmered softly on the water's surface, reflected upon the majestic word wall as Natsu sat alone on the pond's shore. Once again, he couldn't sleep.
Natsu collected a handful of small rocks into his hand and threw them into the water, one by one. The others were sleeping in their camp at a small distance away. After the worst confusion had cleared up, they decided to stay here for a night. Marching through the marshlands in the dark would be too dangerous. So, they had built a temporary camp into an opening between the trees. Erza had urged them all to rest. It seemed that their next destination would be Riften, after all, and it was a long way from here to there.
Not a single one of them could comprehend how or why someone had taken the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller. The way to the final chamber could only be opened with the Voice, as Lucy did, so how could have anyone found it? Somehow Natsu had a feeling that the same person was behind the absence of Draugr and skeletons in the crypt. They must've cleared the place up, but left some of the undead unharmed near the entrance so they would keep the intruders out. But until they'd meet that person, all they had was questions and hypothetical theories, nothing else.
But as the sun had gone down and the others had fallen asleep, Natsu had grown restless. He had conjured the bedrolls of their tent for him and Lucy, as he had done in the hunting cottage too, but he just couldn't get comfortable. Lucy had, for an unknown reason, attached her bedroll to his. She had been clinging to him lately and he wasn't sure how to feel about it. Maybe she was just cold, and as she was now convinced he had no second intentions about her, she dared to share his warmth. Maybe she felt scared or had nightmares, and being close to him made her feel secure and safe. Either way, while Natsu had to admit her presence was soothing sometimes, tonight it wasn't.
Nothing was soothing now.
Natsu's hands shivered from the cold as he threw more rocks into the pond. In fact, his whole body trembled as if he had a fever rising. Getting sick was exactly what he hoped for tonight. His headache had eased when they had gotten into the crypt, but now his head was pounding again as his heart raced within his chest, cold sweat turning his skin clammy. Even his teeth ached. Had he caught some tooth rot, like Igneel once did? Natsu shuddered at the memory. As Igneel had complained about the pain for two weeks, he was eventually forced to see the healer when the fever spiked. Getting the rotten tooth extracted had been more like advanced torture, and Natsu had decided that he'd rather let them rot than remove them.
He hadn't even eaten anything after last morning. His appetite had been gone since Gray killed the baby dragon – he just couldn't get that vision out of his head. Lucy had made him eat a piece of bread before they left, but that was it. He wasn't hungry though, just thirsty, as he hadn't really drunk anything either. When he had thrown all the rocks into the pond, he knelt and examined the water. It was crystal clear. Natsu gathered it into a cup made from his palms and drank it, but it tasted like salt and sand in his mouth. He spat it out.
He slowly exhaled a frustrated sigh, then washed his face and got back up. He could barely stand. Before his weakened legs gave up on him, he seated on the moss and buried his head into his hands. Had the spiders managed to poison him somehow, but the symptoms only hit him now? Couldn't be, but it felt the same. When the giant spider had bit him years ago, the poison had affected him immediately, though the symptoms waved back and forth for a month. This was something else, yet he couldn't put a finger on it.
Maybe he just really needed some sleep.
Back at the hunting cottage, Gray's snoring and the urge to go strangle him had kept him awake almost the whole night. Only an hour before the dawn, Gray had finally rolled onto his stomach and stopped snoring, allowing Natsu to have an eyeful of broken sleep. It just left him feeling more tired than he was before. He had almost hoped Lucy would read that book to him again. At least it had managed to put him to sleep, and thanks to that he had stayed asleep a lot longer than needed to. He chuckled as he remembered Lucy's face when she had realised she had wrapped herself around his arm, again. Yet, he deemed she just acted surprised and shocked because Erza had come to wake them up. The warrior seemed to have been giving her some shit about it.
Now that he thought of everything that had been going on lately, it was all just so strange. Since leaving the safety of High Hrothgar behind, a lot had changed between him and Lucy. The struggles had brought them closer somehow. It just made him wonder if this was how their friendship was supposed to be. He had never been friends with a girl – especially with a girl who was a damn Dragonborn – but were all girls so clingy? He had tried to think of her as the same as he would've thought of Igneel, but well, Igneel never slept clutching into his arm. Natsu would've punched that drunken horker if he'd ever tried something like that.
As he drifted lost into the sea of thoughts and memories, he was soon brought back to earth by a scream. It was Lucy, crying something about her mother. Just when Natsu was about to get up and go to her, she got quiet again. Then he heard silent footsteps as she walked on the mossy ground, and for a moment Natsu regretted not staying there so she wouldn't wake up to a nightmare alone. But well, she sought out to him either way, soon appearing behind the trees by the pond.
"Sleepless again?" Lucy asked. She still sounded sleepy.
Natsu just hummed as an answer, glancing at her over his shoulder. She flinched as she saw him. "But if I had to choose between nightmares and sleeplessness, I'd –"
"Oh, you don't look so well," she gasped, hurried to him and briefly placed her hand on his forehead. "Are you feeling sick?" She wiped the sweat into her robes and seated next to him. "No fever, though…"
Natsu smiled shortly, shrugging slightly as he turned his gaze to the water that gleamed in the moonlight. "Damn, I don't know," he sighed, his voice dry as he spoke. "Probably just –"
Lucy caught his right hand and examined in the faint light. She traced her fingers softly over the marks left by her teeth. It stung, but not much. "Doesn't look infected, but well, I'm not a healer, so I can't say," Lucy told. She gathered some water from the pond and washed his hand, just to be sure it stayed clean. Natsu smiled at her shortly as he pulled his hand away. "Have you eaten anything?"
"You really sound like my mom sometimes," Natsu chuckled, looking away again. "I'm not hungry. I… I don't feel like I could even stomach anything."
"Me neither. Those damn undead still make me want to puke. Gods, they were disgusting," Lucy said. She had her knapsack with her, and she pulled an apple from it. "But we have to eat. Especially you. We won't have the energy to march back to Morthal if we don't eat. The dried meat we found from the hunting cabin just makes me think of the Draugr, but I've got this. I could give you the half of it and eat the rest myself."
Now Natsu couldn't get the image of dried Draugr meat out of his mind. He shook his head as a polite refusal. "No need."
"You're just so hungry that you've got sick from it. Come on."
"Seriously, I'm not –"
Lucy unsheathed her steel dagger, placed the apple on the stone and prepared to cut it. "Are you gonna eat the half or the whole apple? Make your choice."
Natsu frowned. "… half, then," he muttered, and Lucy answered with a grin. She always had her way of getting her will through. She began slicing the apple, and then his eyes widened as he saw how damn carelessly she was holding the apple and the dagger. "Hey, that steel is pretty damn –"
"Ouch!"
"…sharp," Natsu cringed as the blade slipped and cut into her finger instead. "Goodness, Lucy, be more careful with the –"
Blood.
At that moment, it was all he saw. Lucy brought her hands to her chest, holding her bleeding fingers with her healthy ones as she tried to assess how deep she'd cut herself. But Natsu couldn't see her, only the blood. It flowed down her pale skin as thin crimson streams that disappeared into her sleeves, and Natsu thought it was the most beautiful colour he had ever seen. Deep, vibrant crimson, even in the dark he could see it so clearly.
Then he smelled it.
Natsu tore himself out of the sight by turning his head down, closing his eyes, but the scent still lingered in the air and he couldn't escape from it. His hands began to shiver. He knew blood wasn't supposed to smell so damn good, delicious, irresistible. What kind of a freak had he turned into? He cursed at himself, wanted to smash his head to the ground to make this insane feeling go away. But it wasn't just a feeling. It was a need. A desire for just a little taste.
Lucy said something about it being just a surface level scratch, but Natsu couldn't make sense of the words. Everything became blurred, very quiet, until he realised he wasn't hearing anything but a heartbeat. Her heartbeat, each tiny interval of the accelerating pulse, and he lost himself to the sound.
"Natsu?" she called his name as he'd been dazed out for too long.
Carefully, trying not to scare her, he took her bleeding hand into his. She let him. She trusted in him, but he knew not what he did, what he would do, and he couldn't explain it to her. Couldn't ask for permission, couldn't apologise, he just had to taste the blood like he was dying of thirst, and it was the only liquid left in the world. And as if driven by a primal instinct, he put her fingers into his mouth.
And at that moment, his mind was blown, shattered, temporarily pulled out of his body straight into the heavens of Aetherius.
Lucy let out a sharp surprised gasp and tried to pull her hand away, but Natsu locked her fingers in between his teeth. He wouldn't let her go. Like the finest wine, her blood had an otherworldly sweet flavour, pure innocence yet still so strong with a rusted essence, and never in his life had he felt such greed for anything. The sickness within him faded, all pain was gone as he eagerly drank each drop she bled, like he had been dead for so long, yet now brought back to life by the blood of the dragon.
When the bleeding dried up, he knew it wasn't enough.
Shivering, his mind torn apart by this unquenchable lust, he raised his head. Her blood had stained his lips, his chin, and when he gazed deep into Lucy's eyes, he saw red ones staring back at him. His own eyes, gleaming reds that had once been green. He tried to speak as he looked up to her, tried to explain, but how could he, when he couldn't even understand it himself? Soundlessly, he tried to utter the right words, but couldn't form anything but silence.
"N-Natsu?" Lucy stuttered quietly, then cast him a confused smile. "Just w-what are you… doing?"
His heart spun around within his chest as she smiled. There was no fear or repulsion in her gaze, only trust, warmth, light. He waited for her to falter and fall back, but she never did. Natsu intertwined his fingers with hers like preparing a prayer, begging for more, one last drop benediction.
"Lucy," he whispered and held his gaze on her, piercing right into her soul. If there had once been a connection between them, when they had nearly died, he tried to reach through that, for all words just failed him. He didn't want to breach her mind and break her, he wanted her to let him in. "Look at me."
She did, and as if locked, frozen, stunned, she didn't look away. Dazed like under his spell, she was just so beautiful – it had been the word he had been looking for a while now – so gracious, so alive. He heard her heart pounding, rushing blood through her veins, warm and alluring, and all he could do was to promise he wouldn't hurt her, not have too much, but just enough –
He didn't know if he'd be able to keep that promise.
Without saying anything, Natsu leant closer to her and caught the back of her neck with his hand. Gently, he lifted her head, held her tight in place as he latched his blood-stained lips on her neck. She let out a faint whimper as he kissed her skin, clumsily searching for the artery as if prolonging the play. When he finally felt her pulse beneath his lips, he closed his eyes, violently tugged her hair to keep her still, lingered in pleasure for the smallest moment before sinking his teeth through her skin –
Then a voice shattered the bliss.
"Hey, Lucy, everything alright? I heard you scream, and…" said Gray as he approached in between the trees, suddenly halting as he sighted them. "Damned lovebirds, no need to rub that shit to a lonely man's face."
As if startled out of his wits, Natsu let go of Lucy. She collapsed when he released his hold, but quickly pushed herself up. They both stared at Gray as surprise started to wear off from his face and replace with confusion. It hadn't been what he had thought, but something else completely. The frost mage's eyes found the dagger on the ground, the poorly cut apple, then her wounded fingers and the bloodstains on Natsu's lips, and the reds into which his eyes had turned.
And then, Natsu realised it too.
"Gods above, Natsu, what did you just…" Gray stuttered quietly in complete disbelief, and then he raised his voice, "Have you turned into a fucking vampire!? Since… since how? Since when!?"
Natsu held his breath and looked down at his hands. A few long, fair hairs were clued to the drying blood on his pale skin. Still in shock, he shook his head, trying to form some words, an explanation, but he just couldn't say anything at all. Two gazes were on him, one condemning and one empathic, and it wasn't hard for him to tell which one belonged to who. As he sat there on his knees in silence, Gray marched over to him, forcibly grabbed his chin and forced him to look up.
All denial in him was banished as Gray cast a ball of light above him – it wasn't regular Magelight, but pure light of the sun itself, as if designed for exposing a vampire – and it burned. Natsu screamed as it burned his eyes like fire, even though fire had never burned him before, the blaze licking his skin as he shielded his face with his palms and bent down to the ground. The little lifeforce he had drawn from Lucy's blood withered as the light brought him back to the dismal state, even if it wasn't even close to the agony of the real sun.
"By Ysmir, it's true," Gray muttered in disgust and put out the fire. Covered in a cold sweat, Natsu shivered as he tried to breathe. Gray caught him from the robes and pulled him up again, forcing him into eye contact. Natsu opened his mouth slightly, still unable to speak, and Gray made him open it a bit more. He cringed at the sight of his abruptly sharpened canines. "Gods, you've even grown fangs! You disgusting piece of shit! You better explain to me right fucking now how'd you let this happen!"
"I… I don't know!" Natsu mumbled as Gray let him go.
"What the fuck did you do? Let me guess, did you stick your prick into some vampire cunt when you went to the inn alone?"
"No, I fucking didn't!" Natsu shouted back at him. "That 'vampire cunt' tried to enthrall me or something!"
"... what? A vampire tried to enthrall you and you goddamn retard thought you'd be okay!?" Gray yelled and turned to Lucy. "So, you ran into a vampire and didn't tell us!? I tried to warn you about this!"
"But the vampire didn't bite him! Or scratch him! I checked!" Lucy defended, her voice wavering from shock. She was still in denial of what happened, of what he had become, or was still becoming.
Gray raised an eyebrow as he stared back at her. "Everywhere?"
How in the Oblivion had he got to this? Natsu tried to think, tried to remember, but the attempted enthrallment had made his memories scarce and scattered. Could it have been that the charm spell had been enough to infect him? If it was true, everyone in the town who looked into that woman's eyes would be turned. Lucy, too. Faintly, Natsu remembered sitting down on the table with his bottle of wine, then the woman's voice…
And then, Natsu buried his face into his sweaty cold hands as he remembered one crucial detail. "... fuck!"
"No, but I'm sure she didn't scratch or bite him. I came to the inn right on time. I noticed something weird was going on, but the charm spell was broken when I talked to Natsu!" Lucy was shouting now, finally gathered enough strength to confront Gray's accusations. "And he was okay, I promise!"
Trembling in despair, Natsu lifted his right, wounded hand. Lucy noticed, realised, and raised her hands over her mouth.
"That damn bitch touched my hand," he whispered and gazed at the broken skin where Lucy had bitten him. "Right here."
Gray smashed his hand to forehead, forcefully dragged his fingers down his face. "Great! If she touched that graze, it must've been enough to infect you. And you moron didn't realise it!"
Natsu clenched his hand into fist, and wounded or not, he'd surely punch the man if he wouldn't shut up. His shouting wasn't going to make the situation any better, it just made Natsu's ears ring. "I couldn't even remember until now!"
Natsu closed his eyes as he tried to catch his breath. He had been holding it for too long, and it was making him dizzy. He rubbed his aching forehead as he listened to the fight carrying on.
"And we morons didn't realise! You complained of headache in sunlight for two entire days!"
"It could've been anything, Gray, so how could've we known?"
"You're the smart one, Lucy. You should've seen something was strange. Now we all might be infected with that –"
"No, we're not. I've been with him the entire time, we even shared the same bottle of wine –"
Suddenly, Erza's voice broke through the quarrel. Natsu cursed into his fist. She was exactly what the situation was lacking.
"What's happening here?" she asked as she arrived, torn from her sleep by all the shouting.
Gray walked further away from him, pointing at him with his finger. "Natsu has turned into a vampire!"
"He has?"
"Yeah. When I woke up, he was right on Lucy's neck."
Erza chuckled dryly and glanced at Gray. "Are you sure that was because of vampirism?" she jested, but grew serious as she saw the looks on their faces. The red was fading into amber in his eyes, but the gleam was enough to let her know what he was. "Oh, by the gods…"
As silence fell into the cavern, Natsu buried his face into his hands again. A lump was forming in his throat, but he swallowed past it and bit into his lip. Now he felt the fangs sinking sharply into his skin, finally understanding what the pain had been, what the whole sickness had been.
And suddenly, he was afraid.
"There's only thing to do," Gray declared after the silent moment, shaking his head as he held his fingers on his chin. "We kill him."
Natsu raised his eyes to the frost mage as he drew his steel sword from the sheath on his belt. The blade glimmered in the moonlight, and Lucy screamed.
"You can't do that!" she cried out, got on her feet, and ran in front of Gray. "You can't kill him!"
"We have to!" Gray shouted back at her. "He's a fucking vampire! I don't care if he's finished the mutation or not, but he must be killed before that happens! It has been over two days now, right? It usually takes three days before they fully turn. It's too late to save him now."
Lucy shook her head and screamed even louder. "I'm not gonna let you kill him!"
"Damn it, Lucy, he almost fucking fed on you! He would've killed you if –" Gray's yell was cut when Lucy slapped him to the face. "Out of my way, now! I'll finish this quick!"
As Natsu watched her defending him, even after all he'd almost done, he couldn't fight the tears rolling down his face. 'I don't deserve her,' was the only thought in his mind. 'I fucking don't, I've become a monster, I almost killed her –'
Then Erza walked to Gray, and calmly stated, "We're not going to kill him."
Gray's eyes widened as he turned to the warrior. "Why are you both defending him?" he muttered, shocked. "Even if he's a friend, he's still a vampire, and these damn obscurities must be cleaned out before they overpopulate the entire country. Vampires, werewolves –"
Erza punched him straight to the face, making him fall to the ground. Gray's sword dropped from his hands. Lucy shrieked and stepped back, then turned and ran to Natsu. She crouched beside him and flung her arms around his neck, burying her face into his shoulder. Natsu flinched and tensed, unable to do anything but watch as the warrior walked over the staggered frost mage.
"WE ARE NOT GOING TO KILL HIM!" Erza yelled as loud as she could and kicked Gray to the guts as he was down. "WE," she kicked again, "DON'T," another kick, "KILL," two kicks, "OUR," she drew her leg back, preparing for one last kick, "FUCKING," and then she kicked so hard that Gray rolled around and blood burst from his mouth, "COMRADES!"
If there were any Draugr sleeping in the entire crypt, they'd wake up to that shout. And if Natsu had ever felt any resentment towards Erza, it all vanished at that moment.
When she was done, Erza bent down, caught Gray from the neck and lifted his head into eye contact. "DO YOU UNDERSTAND!?"
Gray's breath whistled as he tried to fill the lungs Erza had just emptied of all air. He nodded repeatedly, and Erza let him go. He crawled onto his stomach, wrapping his arms around himself as the warrior left him to be. As Erza walked towards Natsu, he instinctively grabbed Lucy's arm in fear of what she would do to him next. But instead of beating him to the pulp, she just asked, "Are you dead, Natsu?"
"Not yet," he muttered hoarsely.
Natsu flinched as Erza took off her steel gauntlet, caught his neck and searched for his pulse. "Your heart's still beating. Good. You haven't finished the transformation yet, so you can be healed."
"What does that mean?" Lucy asked and pulled herself further from him, releasing her hold around his shoulders. "What… What exactly is happening now?"
"It has been two full days since you encountered that vampire? Since you've caught sanguinare vampiris, it takes three days for the disease to mutate your body and, well, kill you."
Natsu's eyes widened as he stared at her in disbelief. "So, you mean I'm gonna die anyway?"
"I was coming to that," Erza said. "During the final phase of the disease, you die. But it's not permanent. After the fourth day, you'll awaken as a fully transformed, immortal vampire."
He lowered his gaze to the ground. "Kynareth save me…"
Was that what would happen to him now? All the signs were so clear, yet he had still been blind to them until now. His body was mutating – no, he was dying, and the vampirism was preparing his body for the unlife that would soon follow.
"As I said, as long as your heart is beating, you can be healed. I've heard that there are cures even for the fully progressed vampirism, but that's where it gets rather… complicated. We're not going to let it get that far," Erza told and turned to Gray. He was sitting in the moss, still trying to gather his breath. "Your brother was an alchemist? Does he know how to cure this?"
Gray remained silent before finally speaking, his voice quiet, as if ridden with guilt. "He… He was working on some potion since the townspeople started turning, but he hasn't got a chance to test them yet."
"Because you kill everyone who turns?"
"It's the orders of the Jarl!" Gray growled, gurgling blood before spitting it out. "To keep them from becoming a real menace, the Jarl has ordered to kill everyone who's been bitten by a vampire. Most of them won't even survive the feeding. Many have been found dead in their beds with their necks opened. The ones who have survived have turned, and we've killed them before they turn others."
Erza touched the bridge of her nose and sighed. "Shor have mercy… Well, now we've got a test subject for the cure. It's our only chance for saving him," she said and glanced at Natsu. "It's going to be okay, don't worry."
There was doubt in her voice, Natsu could hear it. He shook his head as Lucy placed her hand on his shoulder, offering him one last comfort. He didn't dare to look up to her eyes, for all he wanted was to cry from shame and remorse. Even if he couldn't keep the tears from falling, he didn't want her to see them – it would make him feel even more pathetic than he already felt like.
"Well, hurry up and let's go. We're heading back to Morthal immediately," Erza stated calmly, caught his arm and pulled him up. "Because you're gonna be dead by nightfall if we won't make it in time."
Natsu had never known that the darkness held such colours.
As they hurried through the dark tunnels of Ustengrav, Natsu couldn't understand why he hadn't realised it yesterday – he could see. Everything was pitch black, there wasn't a single source of light anywhere, but he could still see. In fact, he even preferred it that way. With astonishing ease, he could navigate in the perfect darkness, and it felt just like home.
It had taken them a minute to gather their gear, leave the camp, and wait for Gray to heal himself after Erza's brutalizing. While Natsu had been tempted to just leave him there, they still needed him – without Gray, his brother most likely wouldn't agree to heal the vampirism, if he even could do it in the first place. Natsu didn't place too much hope into him, but it was all the hope he had. This little taste of a vampire's life – or unlife – made him certain that he never wanted to become one, even though it was already happening at an alarming rate.
He hadn't spoken much to Lucy after they left. He knew he had to go through it at some point, but all the little strength he had was used on getting out of here as quick as possible. She walked beside him in silence, following his steps in the darkness because his eyes couldn't stand any light, not even her Candlelight spell. Erza and Gray treaded somewhere far behind them, guided by Gray's magelight, but of that Natsu could only see the shadows it cast from a distance. He already dreaded the thought of leaving the crypt. At that time, it would most likely be dawn, and he didn't know how he would cope with it.
"Hey…" Lucy whispered suddenly, breaking the long silence. "Just know that I'm not angry at you. For what you did, or… almost did." Natsu glanced at her in the dark, and her eyes were still glistening. She chuckled nervously. "Shit, you look creepy with those eyes."
Natsu smiled shortly and faced away from her. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare ya."
"No, you didn't. I just…" Lucy started, but her voice died down. "Damn, I'm so sorry for not noticing that earlier. Or not dragging you to see a healer immediately, just to be sure. I honestly thought you'd be okay since… since you…"
"Hey, it's okay –"
"It was just yesterday morning when me and Erza talked about how we should always carry some disease curing potions with us, and I just thought you'd better have antivenom in case you get bit by a spider, or a chaurus, or –"
She talked so fast that her speech was becoming incomprehensible word vomit. She was probably just anxious and couldn't stand the silence anymore, and that made him nervous. What was she thinking? Was she fearing how he felt about her now, wondering if he'd crave her blood eternally from now on? While Natsu couldn't forget it, not get her taste out of his mouth, he could control it now, and probably would as long as she wouldn't bleed again. These damned, haunting thoughts would surely disappear once his mind would've been cleansed of the curse… right?
In a certain way, he was thankful Gray had been there. If the bastard hadn't wound up at the right moment, he would've most likely fed on Lucy. Yes, fed. Putting it to words felt so utterly strange, but it was what he was about to do, to feed on her blood. Yet so ironically, that's what she'd intended to do with the apple – how would've she guessed he'd end up consuming her blood instead? That shit didn't happen every day.
"Just… I'm really sorry this happened to you, Natsu. It's all my fault. I… I fucking bit you, then took Gray's offer on staying at his place, didn't even stand up for you when he started shitting on you… And when you left, I let you go there alone –"
"Lucy," Natsu said sharply and turned to her again, not caring if his gleaming amber eyes would spook her in the darkness. "Don't you ever blame yourself for this." Lucy opened her mouth to retort, but Natsu didn't let her say it. "Seriously. I'm responsible for myself. I was an idiot, I let my guard down, now I'll pay the price."
"But I don't want you to die," she whispered, her voice cracking from dismay. Natsu felt a painful strike in his heart. He didn't want to make her worry too much, but he was failing miserably.
"It ain't like I'd be dead for too long. Just a day at worst, as Erza said, and then I'd wake up and live forever," he said and grinned. It was beyond exhausting to talk, but he just couldn't stand to see her so sad. "Maybe I won't get myself cured after all so you'd have an immortal vampire friend."
"Fool," Lucy sighed. "You'd just die again the moment we step into the sunlight. Not to even talk about how welcomed we would be in every goddamn settlement in this country…"
"But hey, just think about that. I would stay remarkably fresh while you would get old and wrinkly and –"
"Natsu!" she shrieked.
"I'm just trying to see the positive sides of this situation in case I can't get cured. Gotta remain optimistic, you know," Natsu said. In fact, there wasn't a single shred of optimism left in him, he was just pretending for the sake of bringing Lucy to a better mood. "You know, seeing in the dark is kinda nice."
"Yeah, sure, the positive sides of having a vampire friend? The constant fear of him biting into your neck while you sleep…"
"Take care of that virginity problem, then," he teased. 'Man, what the fuck am I talking about? I'm sounding just like Igneel,' he thought by himself. "Once the blood gets stale, it ain't so appealing –"
Lucy shrieked and playfully hit him to the side. She always did that when she was embarrassed. "The whole thing was just a joke! Haming used to lure girls into bed with him by saying that vampires feasted on virgin blood, and no, I didn't fall into that 'get free protection against vampires' trap, because that was so obviously bullshit," Lucy said and looked at him, then suddenly went silent. "It is bullshit, right?"
Natsu chuckled. "I'm just not gonna say anything."
"Gods, it is true! That damned bastard was right all along."
"Well, I can't really tell if it tastes anyhow better or not, but –" Natsu started, but halted as he sensed someone's presence in the front. "Crap, there's still one Draugr left. Now that one smells stale as fuck."
"Where do you see it?"
"There," Natsu said and pointed his finger forward. Then he realised that Lucy couldn't even see his hand, so he grabbed hers and moved her hand into the direction where the Draugr was. It was standing against the wall, holding a greatsword in its hands. "I'll finish that off real quick –"
"But weren't you –"
"I'm okay, trust me," Natsu lied and pushed Lucy a few steps back. He locked his eyes into the Draugr in the distance, and as he had done thousands of times before, he set a spark upon his palms to prepare a fireball. Then it suddenly hurt. The whole spell backfired as he screamed in pain when his own fire burned his skin, igniting his hands on fire as if they were coated in bear fat. "Shit, what the fuck!?"
"Natsu!" Lucy screamed. The flames reflected from her eyes as she quickly cast a frost spell on his hands. It turned into water and steam, but she managed to put the flames down before they'd consume him to the bone and ashes. "You just stand back, I'll handle the Draugr!"
Natsu fell on his knees in shock and pain. He held his hands in the air and stared at the burned skin. He had never burnt himself this bad, not even in his novice years – fire had always been on his side. It was his element, the embodiment of his soul, yet now it scorched him, hurt so damn much that for the first time in his life, he was afraid of it. He had never feared fire, not even as a child, but now he was too frightened to cast a single spark.
"Okay, I take back what I said, I must be cured of this shit!" Natsu cried and lifted his gaze from his burned hands to Lucy, as if begging for her to save her from this cruellest fate. "I don't want to be a fucking vampire if I can't even use my flames!"
By Sheogorath's beard, his soul was made from fire, and now his body resisted it. What would he be without it? He cared very little of his life, couldn't give a shit if he died, but not being able to use fire ever again felt nothing less than the end of the world. If he'd lose his fire, then he was the same as dead.
"Don't worry about it," Lucy consoled as she created an ice spike and launched it at the Draugr that was charging at them from the dark. She had aimed for the shiny blue eyes, and she hit slightly below its throat. The Draugr fell to the ground, the iron sword clanking loudly against the stones. Then Lucy turned towards Natsu and helped him back up. "You're gonna be okay, I promise."
Natsu trembled from head to toes as he fought back the tears. He knew Lucy couldn't see how bad his hands were, but her expression still changed when she touched them in the darkness. She knit her brows in worry as she felt the burns, and he winced from the pain. Lucy loosened her hold and then cast a healing spell on his wounds, but it didn't do much. Most of her magic arced off from his skin as if she was unable to heal him – and she was. Healing spells didn't work on the undead, and he would soon be one. Lucy cursed under her breath, tried again, but the spell still failed.
A light appeared from the darkness. It stopped at a distance away, and while Natsu didn't dare to look directly into the light, he could smell Erza and Gray. "What happened?" the warrior asked, noticing something was wrong.
"Natsu burned himself while trying to kill a Draugr there was left," Lucy explained and sighed, giving up on the futile effort of healing his burns. "I killed it, but I can't heal him."
Natsu expected Gray to say something annoying about combusting like a dry leaf, but gladly the man kept his mouth shut. Maybe Erza's beating had taught him something.
"I think we have one healing potion left. We could try that," Erza said and took a red bottle from her bag. She opened it, brought it to him and placed it on his lips. "Alchemy is different from magic, so it could work on the injuries if you can stomach it."
As Erza poured the liquid down, he gagged. One mouthful was enough to make him want to hurl, but he still swallowed it, and was forced to take another, and another, until the bottle was emptied. A healing potion had never tasted so disgusting. His eyes watered when he was done, but slowly he felt as the effects began to take place. Not nearly as well as it was supposed to, the potion worked off his burned skin, until the pain was somewhat tolerable.
"I swear, this is the worst day of my life," Natsu muttered.
Erza placed her armoured hand on his shoulder. "The worst day of your life so far," Erza consoled. "And it's only going to get worse once we get out of this crypt. The dawn is breaking soon, and it's a long way from here to Morthal."
"I'm going to fucking die."
"Even if you do, you'll be back soon enough.'
How very comforting that was.
That day, Lucy forgot everything. The strange letter found in the place of the horn of Jurgen Windcaller, their new destination, even her powers as a Dragonborn, she just forgot it all.
Saving Natsu was all that mattered now.
While he might've asked her not to blame herself for what happened, she was drowning in guilt by the time they reached the marshlands again, and the sun began to climb over the horizon. Natsu had been relatively fine until the blue moment, but as the first rays of dawn broke through the night, it all changed.
And Lucy had never seen a person in such extreme pain.
"It's going to be okay, I promise," Lucy tried to comfort him for the hundredth time, yet her words felt so shallow compared to his agony. He had stopped in the shade of a leafless tree, pulled his hood over his head, and refused to keep going. "But we have to carry on so that we can heal you, Natsu. Please. Get up."
Natsu held his shaking hands over his eyes. If magelight in the crypt had been too much for him, Lucy couldn't even imagine how badly it hurt now.
"I… I just can't. I can't, Lucy, I'm gonna die, my eyes are fucking burning like someone's pouring molten silver into them," he whimpered. Lucy cringed – she hadn't necessarily wanted to hear that metaphor. "Oh, gods… Shit, stab me through the neck or something, I'm not gonna make it either way, just please, kill me already!"
Lucy crouched in front of him and gently touched his hand. Hearing him in that state broke her heart, but she forced herself to conceal it. "Sorry, I won't. We're going to save you, no matter what."
Natsu moved his fingers slightly just to see her, but winced from pain immediately as daylight found his eyes. He pressed his hands harder against his face and curled up from the pain. Lucy flinched when she saw blood leaking in between his fingers, flowing down on his milk-white, greyish skin.
"I… I can't even walk anymore, just leave me here to die," he muttered and screamed as the sunlight kept scorching his skin. Then he took a deep breath, almost like gathering strength for his last words. "Have I… Have I ever said that I want to be cremated when I die, not buried? So could you –"
"Natsu, stop that," Erza interrupted harshly. She and Gray had stopped nearby to wait for Natsu to be able to carry on, but that moment didn't seem to come. "If you can't walk, then we'll just carry you. You're gonna live. Don't talk like you've already given up."
"But I –"
"Just quit whining," Erza commanded as she stepped closer to him. "I know what to do." Erza stooped next to him and pulled the white scarf out of his neck. She folded it horizontally in two and then held it from both ends. "Get your hands off your face."
Natsu shook his head rapidly. "No –"
"Get your hands off your goddamn face!"
Slowly, Natsu lowered his blood-stained hands. Lucy flinched at the sight. There weren't any whites left in his eyes, for the blood had dyed everything bright red. It flowed down his cheeks like tears. Then Erza wrapped the scarf around his head to blind his eyes, wrapped the ends together and pulled his hood back up.
"Does any of you have gloves?" she asked then.
"I have," Lucy said and took hers off from her hands, offering them to the warrior. "Here."
Erza dressed them on for Natsu – Lucy's small gloves fit him surprisingly well. Then she lifted Natsu's chin up to make sure he listened, even though she couldn't contact his eyes. "In case you'll start scratching me. I'm not gonna gag you since you need to breathe properly, but if you bite me, I'll kill you. Do you understand?"
Natsu nodded faintly.
"Gray, take my greatsword," she said as she undid the straps of her sheath and gave her sword to the frost mage, who received it pensively. Then she took off her backpack. "Lucy, take my gear."
Lucy adjusted her and Erza's bags into her back while Erza lifted Natsu to her shoulders, grabbing him from the right arm with the other hand and around his knees with the other, Lucy asked, "Are you sure you can carry him to Morthal?"
Erza nodded. "I've carried Farkas off the battlefield after he got injured. This little mage is lightweight compared to him," Erza said with a faint grin and tapped her hand on Natsu's leg. "You Bretons have a bird's bones."
Natsu gave an annoyed grunt as a reply. He looked so small on Erza's shoulders, almost like a child compared to a giant. It made Lucy wonder how in the Oblivion he had managed to carry her so many times – now that Lucy thought of it, she was probably heavier than him. Lucy hoped that once he'd survive this, he'd be finally able to overcome his hatred for Erza. She had stood up for him, helped him, volunteered to carry him through the endless marshlands, and deserved not to be hated for that good.
Even if Erza claimed to be strong enough for the task, Lucy still wanted to do her part, and make that task a bit easier. They had no time to lose, and finding the fastest way in this swamp was difficult. So, Lucy cast Clairvoyance – even though she didn't have much trust in the spell, it had shown her the fastest way last time. A path made from faint light appeared from her palms, leading to the south. "This way," she whispered.
Then they went on in silence.
From time to time, Lucy checked how Natsu was coping while they hurried to Morthal. The scarf shielded his eyes and the hood protected his head from the sunlight, but he was still growing weaker. After an hour, he couldn't even speak when Lucy threw him a shitty joke just to make sure he still lived, but Erza confirmed to her that he was breathing. Her hope was still fading as every minute brought her closer to the other alternative end, the one in which he wouldn't make it.
What if they wouldn't make it in time, and he'd die? Even if the death itself wouldn't be permanent, the changes would be. Lucy knew it wasn't what Natsu would want. He had been wrecked when he couldn't cast his flames. He had never told her why exactly he had become a fire mage, but Lucy felt that it hadn't been a matter of choice for him. As if he hadn't chosen fire, but fire had chosen him, and he'd rather die than live without it.
If he'd turn – Lucy tried to keep the hope up by thinking if, not when – nothing would be the same. Most of his magic was based on fire, and he wouldn't be able to use it. While there were positive sides to this, the negatives outlasted them. Vampires were considered as abominations. Hunted, hated, and misunderstood. As much as Lucy knew, their insatiable hunger for blood was what defined their existence, and of that, she had already gotten a taste of.
While she tried to pretend that their friendship could just continue even if he'd turn, she was forced to accept that it wasn't true. Vampires had no control over their bloodlust. Natsu had almost lost the fight against it, and he hadn't even fully become one yet –after he would, nothing would stop him. Just like earlier, he would try to feed on her, and once again, she would just let him. She hadn't been able to fight back.
How Natsu had done it, she didn't know.
There had been something in his eyes that just captivated her. Even though they had turned red by the ravenous thirst, she had felt no fear. It had felt completely different compared to the woman in the inn. While that vampire had tried to forcefully intrude into her mind, Natsu had just gently knocked on the door of her psyche and waited for her to open. And she had – but whether it was because of some vampiric charm or the absolute trust she felt for him as a friend, she wasn't sure.
Still, somehow, Lucy was eternally thankful that she had cut into her hand by accident. If that hadn't happened, his thirst for blood probably wouldn't have awakened, and thus his vampirism would've remained hidden. They would've thought he was just sick, and then he would've died. The mere thought nearly made her cry. She would've fallen asleep next to him, probably hugging his arm again, and then woken up to find him lifeless the next morning. Selfishly she believed that would've been even crueller than this.
And while she got lost in the thoughts, the journey went faster this time, mostly because they hurried and didn't stop for food or drink. Lucy's feet ached terribly, cold water had soaked through her boots, but she didn't complain. Whatever her discomfort was, it was nothing compared to Natsu's, who was quite literally dying. But when they finally reached the sight of the town, a wave of relief washed over Lucy's despairing heart. The dusk was descending, but the night wasn't there just yet.
They had time.
She wanted to believe so.
On the outskirts of the town, Erza suddenly lowered the fire mage off her back and placed him to the ground. He was limp like a ragdoll, but his limbs twitched as if hit by a spark spell. Erza stretched her arms a bit, and then went to take something from her bag that Lucy had been carrying.
"He's juddering, so I'll have to bind his hands so he won't scratch anyone by accident," Erza explained as she took leather strips from her backpack. Then she crouched by his side, pulled his arms behind his back, and tied his wrists together. Blood had stained his white scarf, but it had started to turn black and dry, meaning he wasn't bleeding anymore. If Lucy remembered right, the scarf was specially enchanted with fire resistance, so that also had to help. "Damn… the sunlight must've weakened him more than I thought."
Erza lifted him on her shoulder again. A question had lingered on Lucy's tongue for a while, but she hadn't dared to ask it. How did Erza know so much about vampirism? She had known details of which Lucy hadn't ever heard of. Maybe she had cleared some vampire lairs during her jobs as a Companion, or maybe the scholar had taught her a thing or two? However, Lucy couldn't shake off the feeling that Erza was hiding something.
The streets of Morthal were empty as they arrived. Most of the townspeople were hiding in their homes in fear of the vampire on the loose – how ironic and wrong it felt to bring another vampire to the town. On their way to Gray's place, they walked past a burned house. It made Lucy wonder what had happened, but she was too worried about Natsu to pay it too much thought.
Gray hadn't said anything on the entire day. A hint of his arrogance was now gone, but Lucy still didn't trust his mindset had changed. If she was completely honest to herself, she would've left him into the ruins if his alchemist brother wasn't their only chance of saving Natsu. While Lucy was a forgiving person, she didn't know if she could ever forgive Gray for what he had said today. That had been simply too much. The frost mage knocked on the wooden door, but didn't wait for anyone to open, he just stepped in.
Lucy followed after Gray, and Erza brought Natsu in as the last. She closed the door behind her and put the mage to the floor as Gray's brother arrived from the kitchen.
"Alright, fellas, what the fuck is this?" Lyon asked, staring at the miserable, tied up bundle on the floor. "Some carnal fantasy gone wrong?"
"No, an acute case of sanguinare vampiris," Erza answered. "Can you heal him?"
The man's eyes widened.
"… damn," he muttered and rubbed his temple. "I've been developing potions for that, but I don't know if they work. Get him upstairs, I'll come in a second."
They carried him upstairs into Gray's room and placed him in bed. He was completely unresponsive, so terrifyingly still Lucy thought he was already dead. Erza opened the leather strips around his wrists, closed the curtains and untied the scarf that was wrapped around his head. She gave it to Lucy, and soon Lyon arrived with a wooden box full of small bottles. He placed it on the nightstand, lit a candle on the wall and examined Natsu's pulse.
"He's still alive, which is a good sign," Lyon said. He pulled off the cork of a red bottle, placed it on the mage's lips and slowly poured it into his mouth, lifting his chin so it somehow got down to his throat. "When was he infected?"
"Three days ago, soon after nightfall," Lucy answered, her fingers clutching into the scarf.
Lyon was silent for a moment. When the bottle was empty, he closed it and stepped back.
"Which gods does he pray to?"
"Shit, is it that bad?" Lucy asked, but it was needless to say that it was. The potion didn't seem to have any effect. Would they really have to rely on the mercy of the gods? "I... I don't think he prays at all, but I believe his family had faith in Kynareth."
"And he keeps mumbling about Sheogorath's beard a damn lot," Gray commented from the background.
"Let's not pray to Sheogorath upon this matter!" Lyon exclaimed. "What about Stendarr, the god of mercy? His vigilants hunt all sorts of shady creatures, like vampires, werewolves, witches, mostly just Daedra, but maybe he would help now…"
"Lyon."
A frail voice spoke from the doorway. Everyone turned their heads towards the speaker, who was Ur. She stood there by the door dressed in a purple tunic that hung loosely on her thin frame. She was carrying something in her hand.
"Mother? Why are you up?" Lyon stuttered. Lucy could understand his shock. She hadn't been expecting to see their sick mother up and walking. "You… You shouldn't strain yourself, you should be resting –"
"Did you add hawk feathers to the potion?" Ur asked.
"… no."
The woman sighed. "It has to have hawk feathers, or it won't work," she said and walked to them, though her steps were slow and weak. "Dear, you still have a lot to learn about alchemy. To cure sanguinare vampiris, you need one rock warbler egg, hawk feathers, mudcrab chitin, and just a little bit of vampire dust. You're lucky your mother isn't as senile as you think she is."
"And you already brewed the potion?" Lyon asked. Ur replied with a faint nod as she reached the bedside. Had she heard what they had talked downstairs, or somehow sensed what had happened? "I… I thought you couldn't do that anymore, and I didn't want to burden you by asking help, and…"
Ur smiled. "You can always ask for your mother's help."
With frail fingers, she opened the bottle and poured a little amount on her palm. She drew a symbol on Natsu's forehead that resembled a Daedric letter – Lucy didn't know why – and then made him drink half of the potion. Then Ur spoke, whispered words in an accent Lucy couldn't comprehend, and something started to happen. The letter on his forehead began to gleam with a red light that slowly washed over his body, then vanished into the darkness. His limbs stopped twitching as he grew perfectly still, making Lucy fear he had died, but when he began breathing again, she sighed in relief.
He would live, not among the dead, but among the living.
Astonished, Lucy stared at the white-haired woman. Words weren't enough to describe the gratefulness she felt in her heart. Warmth lingered in Ur's clouded eyes as she watched at the sleeping fire mage, almost like he was her own son too. She had been Zeref's teacher in the College, possibly known him well, so it was just natural for her to care about his little brother just as deeply.
Then Ur offered the bottle to Erza. "You all should take a drink of this, just to be sure. Sanguinare vampiris can only be afflicted from a fully-turned vampire, but this potion gives you protection for a few days, in case you'll run into one again."
Erza nodded as she received it. Lucy turned to the woman, her eyes glistening with tears as she whispered, "Thank you so very, very much. I'm so sorry this had to happen to him, I really should've –"
"Weep not for what happened, and worry not for what's still yet to happen. Everything leads us closer to our destiny – this, too," Ur said softly, and her words left Lucy into deep pondering over what it truly meant. "But I've grown weary now. Take care of each other in the future, too, young ones." Then she left the room, but turned back at the doorway and glanced at Gray, as if she had seen the bruises on his face, and known what had caused them. "You, come with me. I must speak with you now."
Reluctantly, the frost mage followed his adoptive mother downstairs. Lucy sensed the tension the air, knowing Gray would soon receive a proper scolding, but it was completely justified. After they had left, Lyon invited Lucy and Erza to have some dinner. It had been an exhausting day for everyone, after all, but Lucy refused. She wanted to stay behind for a while and be with him alone to gather her thoughts.
And as Erza and Lyon left the room, Lucy sat on the side of his bed and sought his hand into hers. His burned skin was healing now, but clammy with cold sweat. It would take some time before he'd wake up. Lucy couldn't help but wonder how much of the changes could be reversed. Would his eyes ever return to the deep shade of green they were? Would he keep the fangs or still see better in the dark? Only time would show.
Lucy fiddled the fabric of his white scarf in between her fingers as she decided what they'd do next. The Greybeard's quest could wait a little more – the horn would stay in Riften all the same, Lucy didn't care.
Before all else, they'd make that vampire bitch pay for what she did to him.
A/N: Hi guys, hope you enjoyed the chapter more than Natsu did (or who knows?)
Oh dear, it turned out a lot kinkier than I thought, but well… it wouldn't be fanfiction if it didn't have some kinky shit here and there. Seriously though, one of my side-reasons for the first scene was to comment on and make my take on a lot of stuff in this fandom, mostly the biting/blood kink Natsu has been given due to him being a Dragonslayer in FT. I also love to intertwine my fucked-up humor into some dark scenes (Jellal's and Natsu's discussion being an example). However, when things get truly dark and serious, there won't be much of jokes in there.
Anyway, to the point. Who guessed Natsu was infected with vampirism? For anyone who might have missed that, check the ending of chapter 35. The virus or whatever the shit is that causes vampirism got into Natsu's blood through the wound in his hand, which is even more ironic since Lucy was the one who bit him, not the vampire woman. I wanted to make it seem like he was okay, then dropped small hints in the previous chapter (headache from sunlight, better vision in the darkness, even slight amber gleam in his eyes which Lucy thought was just because of the flames) and blowed it up in this chapter.
In my original plan, Natsu had had vampirism in the past, but got it cured before he was turned. I eventually abandoned that, but decided to make it happen in the story at this point. There was actually a few small foreshadowing lines to this. In chapter 22 "Dark Waters," there was this scene:
"If there was blood, it should've worked," Nurelion interrupted him, grinning again. The old man was high as a cloud. "Are you a vampire? Vampires are resistant to poison."
"What?" Natsu asked, half shocked how one could even suspect that. Vampires had gleaming red eyes, sharp fangs and sickly pallor. He couldn't look that bad.
Then in chapter 27 "The Streets of Whiterun"
Natsu smirked and pulled the large hood over his head. It wasn't enough to cover all of his wild, pink hair, his most prominent feature. In all honesty, it just made him appear more suspicious. Almost like a vampire shielding himself from the sunlight. Lucy chuckled at the thought. He looked so ridiculous dressed like that.
The point of all this wasn't just to give him fangs, dragonslayer senses and permanent blood kink, but to introduce vampirism, and also drop major hints of what's going to happen in the future with one character in particular. More about that in the next chapter.
I did many changes to vampire lore, in case someone is wondering. In the game you only get these "your blood boils in sunlight" or "you feel strange thirst as the night falls" if you have been infected with vampirism, but in this story I made it much worse. It was fun to create, but I hoped I didn't make anything too Twilightly. I haven't watched or read the series but I actually considered doing so just to avoid those things, but decided not to, thinking that as long as I wouldn't make him sparkly, everything would be okay.
Oh god, what a long chapter this was, but I loved writing it. Special note to Type o Negative's two songs, "Wolf Moon" and "Love You To Death" that helped me to settle into the vampire mode. There has been a damn lot Nalu development in the past chapters. Sometimes I feel like I'm rushing things between them, but then I remember that this has 250k already and they're just holding hands, so maybe it isn't so rushed at all. But hey, Natsu though she was beautiful. That's a lot!
Next up: Laid to Rest
