CHAPTER 39: LAID TO REST
Endless night.
The blinding, scorching brightness had faded to black, but the pain was still there. His eyes were still burning even though the dark had fallen a while ago, a while so long that it felt like an eternity. The memory of light was enough to make him bleed, bloodied tears flowing down his cheeks as he stared into the never-ending void his world had turned into.
'Where am I?' he wondered, again and again as a despairing echo. 'Why am I here?'
On his knees in the middle of the darkness, he shivered as he waited for the dawn. The thought of sunrise filled him with absolute dread, as if he knew this night was the only one he'd have left, and he'd be gone at the first light. But he waited, had waited forever, and the morning never came. This same hour of dark was the only one he'd ever known, and would ever know.
'Did I die?'
There were only two answers to the question. Yes and no. In this plane of nothingness, he was neither alive nor dead, but something in between. He had once glanced into the afterlife and seen the thousands of stars that were now veiled into darkness, out of his reach. There was no solace of reunions here. All alone, he lifted his gaze up, but no one stared back at him. He had wanted to see them again. His mother, his best friend, and tell them that he had loved them. Now he never would.
He would stay here forever.
Immortality, while some spent their lives searching for it, meant hollowness – it was just the absence of death and life, nothing more. A curse that had reaped the life out of his body but trapped his soul into the empty husk, eternally bound to seek something to replace its living essence. The pain wasn't the only thing he felt. He felt thirst. Unquenchable, ravenous thirst for blood. Something he could kill for, and it was tearing his mind into shreds – there wasn't anything, anyone in the darkness, only him.
Only until she came along.
A light approached him from the night. With a warm, soft light that did not burn, she sought out for him on this lonely, dark realm of undeath. As she walked closer, her yellow dress swayed in the wind along with her fair hair. Her eyes were bright with happiness. She had not yet seen the death and destruction that would soon follow, and he understood that it was a memory of her, a memory of when he had seen her for the first time.
While most of his former life had vanished into the darkness, he could still remember her standing on the porch of her home, gazing right into his soul for that tiny moment their eyes had met, as if she had waited for him all her life to come and take her on an adventure. Like a swan amongst the chicken, she had been something different. A dragon amongst the mortals. To the adventure he had taken her indeed, yet that path had only led to this darkness, and now she just wanted to go home.
"Natsu?"
She called his name as she lifted his head up, made him look at her as if he'd see her for the first time again. Her radiance blurred his teary eyes. With a celestial shine in her hair that cascaded down on her back, an empyreal crown upon her brow, she reached past the infinite boundaries, over the gulches of death. Her touch filled him with life, brought the stars back to his skies, set his heart on fire again. Only Lucy could do that. She was light, and she was life. The life that he needed, what he had been dying for, the life that rushed in her veins.
Her blood.
"You don't belong here, Natsu," she whispered. "You shouldn't be here alone. Come, I'll lead you back to the light."
"But I can't leave either," he answered, his voice as dry as if he had never spoken before. "The light will only kill me."
"Then I'll stay here with you in the dark."
With shivering hands, he clutched her dress and pulled her into his arms. She had come to bring him back home, out of this darkness, and all he needed was a taste of her light to make him alive once more. If he would live again, the sun wouldn't burn him. He caressed her face, gazed deep into her eyes as if subtly asking if this was what she really wanted, if this was what she was ready to offer. Without him even saying anything, she knew what he meant. She gave him a soft nod, closed her eyes, surrendered to the complete trust she had for him.
He glanced at her one last time. Enchanted by her beauty, he leaned onto her neck. As if he had done it a thousand times before, he softly kissed her skin upon her pulse and then sank his teeth into the artery like siphoning needles.
And as he eagerly swallowed her blood as it flooded from her throat, she began to sing. Wordlessly, she hummed a melody he had heard before, lulling him into an ecstatic trance where nothing else existed. The sweet, divine taste of her life's essence brought him over the edge of his sanity, and as life flowed back to him, it flowed out of her, all the way to the very last drop.
Then it had grown quiet.
The red haze of his bloodlust faded, his vision regained, and there she was in his arms, not breathing. Her radiance had dimmed out. Only a little spark, one last ember gleamed upon her heart until it finally vanished into the darkness. Anguish ripped apart his heart as he realised what he had done. She had brought him back to life at the cost of her own, he could now go back to the light, but without her, he didn't want to.
He embraced her lifeless body tight against his chest, feeling her still-warm blood on his skin. He closed her eyes for the final time, and she would sing no more.
"I'm so sorry," he mumbled against her forehead. "I'm so sorry, Lucy…"
And while he drowned in the eternal, heart-wrenching lament, he heard another steps approaching him. But he sensed no life in them, only darkness.
"You killed her," said his brother's voice. It had been so long since he'd last heard it, but he still recognised it clearly. "She trusted in you, but you killed her."
He raised his teary eyes from her hair and saw a figure standing before him. His face was shrouded behind a black veil, but there was no doubt who it was. Zeref, his long-lost brother, right there in front of him. He shook his head in disbelief. Of all the places in the world, and all the planes beyond it, he'd find him here?
Zeref crouched upon him. Gently, he touched Lucy's face, traced his thumb over her cheek. "She was so beautiful," he whispered. "Just like she was."
"Who?"
"Mavis," Zeref answered. "You are following right after my footsteps, my brother."
He couldn't understand what his brother was talking about. His features were veiled in darkness, his figure radiated nothing but cold death and grief. No joy resonated in his presence, no brilliance and intelligence as once before. What was left of his brother was only an empty husk.
Zeref lifted his hand from Lucy's chin, offering it to him.
"Come with me," Zeref beckoned. "Come with me, and achieve greatness with me. I know you can. You and me, we are alike. Have always been. Will always be, for only you are my brother, blood of my blood."
He couldn't believe those words. He had been searching for him for so long, given up the search, declared that Zeref just didn't want to be found. Yet now he had come, and asked for him to follow. To where, he couldn't know, but if he did, he'd have to leave her behind. And he wouldn't, even if he had killed her, he wouldn't leave her behind in this cold, lifeless void.
"Show me your face," Natsu asked, staring into the shape of nothingness in front of him that was his brother. "I just want to see you, after all these years, but I'm not coming with you."
Zeref chuckled quietly. Then, as if he lowered a hood from his head, he revealed his face – no, only his eyes. Those gleaming amber eyes pierced right through his soul, but everything else about him remained in shadows.
"In the endless night is where you'll find me, when the time comes," Zeref said as he turned away. "We will see again, my brother."
When his brother walked away again, Natsu was left alone in the darkness.
Natsu's eyes revved open as he woke up with a violent startle, but he instinctively closed them as sunlight met his vision.
It took him a moment to understand that it hadn't hurt.
Not knowing where he was, and just barely remembering what had happened, he slowly opened his eyes again. There was a familiar ceiling above him, daylight flooded in from the window beside the bed he had slept in. His clothes were glued on his skin with cold sweat and his heart was bursting from beating so rapidly. He gathered his ragged breath for a minute until he realised that the darkness, the shadow of his brother, had been just a dream, even though he hadn't had dreams in a very long time.
Natsu turned his head to the side, his neck aching along with the slow movement. The last thing he could recall was the first light of the dawn, then there was nothing but pain until the world had faded into that dark, endless void. Had it even been a dream? It had felt so real. To the finest detail, everything had been like it was in reality – Lucy's features, her light, the flavour of her blood –
Where's she?
Panic built up in his chest as he couldn't find her in the instant he wanted to, but the anguish vanished as he noticed her sitting on a chair on the other side of the room, absorbed into a book. Holding his breath, he stared at her, unable to say a single word. She was alive, he hadn't killed her, he hadn't feasted on her blood. It was all that mattered.
As if sensing his eyes on her, she lowered the book into her lap.
"Oh, you're finally awake," she said. "How do you feel?"
"How do I look?" Natsu answered, but regretted it instantly. 'Shit, that's a dumb question. What's the matter with me?'
She chuckled, her lips turning into a faint smile. "Like you, Natsu."
"I mean," he started and cleared his dry throat. "Am I still a…"
"A vampire? Let me see," Lucy finished for him and closed the book, stood up and crossed the room, stopping at the side of the bed. "Your eyes are green again, and the daylight doesn't seem to hurt so much. Seems very much like a mortal. Smile for me, would you?"
"Uhm, why?" he asked, and realised he had smiled without even intending to. 'Damn.'
"Yeah, you've kept the fangs."
"Fucking great," he cursed. As a test, he bit slightly into his lower lip, and still felt his corner teeth sharper and longer than usual. They wouldn't show until he spoke or smiled, but it would take some time to get used to them if they weren't going away either. At least they no longer hurt like yesterday. Or was it even yesterday? "How long did I sleep?"
"Since last night, and it's now noon," Lucy said and took a bottle of water from the nightstand. "Thirsty?"
'Have you any idea how ironic that sounds?' Natsu thought as he sat up, took the bottle and downed the drink to the last drop. Water no longer tasted like sand and salt, but he still couldn't get the taste of blood out of his mind. He didn't grave it now – in fact, he felt like he'd throw up if he'd drink an equal amount of blood as he'd just drank the water – but that flavour had been so sweet that nothing could ever surpass it. Like Lucy's scent, but with the essence of rusted iron.
Now that he realised, he could smell her stronger than usual. As if she was right on his skin, even though she wasn't so close. The lights were brighter, the colours more vibrant, the shade of the blue dress she wore a lot deeper than it should. She picked the emptied bottle from his hands and went to put it on top of the drawer next to the door. What was with the dress anyway? White strings kept it together from behind, tied as a ribbon on her lower back, emphasizing her curved figure. It looked somehow familiar, but Natsu had no time to wonder about it as she turned around and came back to him.
"Lyon's cure didn't work, but gladly Ur managed to heal you," Lucy explained as she sat beside him again. "She really is amazing. We all had a drink of her potion, so we all have protection against vampirism for a short while." She laughed a bit. "No need to get rid of the virginity problem just yet."
Natsu hid his face with his hand, still unable to understand why in the world he had said that. So, Ur had healed him? Even with the sickness that had reduced her into almost nothingness? Impressive. Maybe she was still a bit fond of him, yet only because he happened to be Zeref's little brother.
'Zeref.'
His shoulders tensed, his blood freezing in his veins as the dream came back to him. In all these years, Zeref had never appeared to him in a dream. Not for once. Even when he had still had dreams, mostly just nightmares, he never dreamt of Zeref. It had been twelve years since he had last heard his voice, yet now his mind had somehow created an exact replica of it. The way he spoke, the way he pronounced certain words with an old Bretony accent, similar to how their father used to speak, everything had been just exactly as it was.
"Is everything okay?" Lucy asked and waved her hand in front of his face, trying to catch his attention. "That was still just a joke, I didn't mean to –"
"Zeref came to me in a dream."
Lucy blinked. He hadn't meant to blurt it out like that. "What? He did?" she wondered. "Could it be that vampirism restored your ability to see dreams or something?"
"I don't know," Natsu answered, still staring down. "He asked me to follow him, but I didn't want to, because…"
Then Lucy understood that the dream hadn't been a pleasant reunion, but something else completely. Natsu tried to look at her, but all he could see were flashes of visions from his dream. Her in the yellow dress, her eyes full of happiness, and all the blood that had soon covered her. He had killed her. Even if it was only a dream, he just couldn't tell her what he had done.
"I couldn't see his face, but I heard his voice. He was there. He was real."
Lucy smiled softly. "Where did he ask you to follow him?"
"Into the night."
She fell silent for a while, and so did he. The only thing he had seen of Zeref was his ominous eyes with a faint amber gleam, and he knew very well it wasn't a reflection of his flames.
"Such strange dreams could be a side-effect of the cure. When Ur healed you, she drew a Daedric symbol into your forehead with the potion before she made you drink it," Lucy explained then. "Later she explained to me that vampires are of Daedric origin, traced back to Molag Bal, the Lord of Domination. Ur told us a legend of how the first vampire was created, and that was a rather… gruesome tale."
Natsu glanced at her. "Well, you could as well tell me, since I almost got involved in the whole vampire scheme."
Lucy took a deep breath – he could see the unsettlement on her face as she revisited the story. "There was once a young virgin named Lamae Beolfag. Molag Bal made her his unwilling bride, and, well… raped and brutalized her in that terror of a night. After the ordeal, Molag Bal shed a droplet of blood on her brow and left her to die. But as her funeral pyre was set, she emerged as a first pure vampire." She shook her head in disgust. If that truly was where the vampiric preference for virgin blood came from, Natsu wanted to puke for almost sharing a descendant shard of that crime. Knowing that made everything feel much more wrong than it already did. "So, that's how vampires came into this world."
So, that's what the Daedric symbol on his forehead had been for? To cleanse the vampirism out of him with a counterforce? Yet still, anguish grew in his chest as he remembered what Clavicus Vile, the Prince of Bargains had told him about Zeref. 'He's gained quite a reputation among us, especially our old Molag Bal might have taken a liking of him.' Natsu hadn't believed that – for he wouldn't believe a word that bastard of a Daedric Prince ever said – but now, after this dream, those words ring a different truth.
'What have you done, my brother?'
Since it had been just a dream, he shoved it all away as well as he only could. Lucy spoke again, her voice pulling him out of the gloom. "Anyway, Ur also said that since your vampirism developed so close to the final stage, some symptoms might never reverse, at least with her skill. There are surely some who could –"
"I don't really care as long as I'm cured," Natsu said and cast a little flame on his palm. He sparked it through the fear, but it did not burn, just like before. He sighed in relief. "Fangs are a very small price to pay for not being burned by my own fire."
Lucy smiled at him. "I think they suit you," she said, but was suddenly embarrassed. "But besides still seeing better in the dark and having stronger senses, you might remain a little sensitive to sunlight. So, prepare for headache when the weather gets sunny."
"Well, glad I don't need to worry about that too much, since the weather in Skyrim is always so damn wonderful," Natsu jested. "As long as we don't go to Elswyer or Alik'r deserts, I should be fine. And at least I have my scarf to cover my eyes with if the sun becomes unbearable. Where is it, by the way?"
"I washed it, so it's drying in the kitchen," Lucy answered. "I washed my robes too this morning after I had bathed, and Ur gave me her old dress. She said I could keep this, and I think it suits me pretty well."
Natsu looked at the dress again, suddenly remembering seeing it on Gray's mother. "Oh, that's why it looked so familiar. She was wearing that when I was last here."
Lucy smiled again. "Once you feel like it, get up and come eat something. Lyon cooked breakfast a few hours ago. I think it's still warm. I could also wash your robes, too, if you want to take a bath. You could wear something from Gray's cabinet while they dry. I bet his older clothes would be small enough for you."
Natsu cringed. "I'd probably just get a plague from them."
"No, you won't. He hasn't even worn them in years," Lucy said. "And actually, when I asked if you'd want to take a bath, that wasn't a question, but an order. I will wash those robes, so unless you want to hang around naked while –"
"Yes, yes, for fuck's sake, I'm not Gray. I'll… I'll pick up something." It wasn't very flattering on his confidence to be forced to wear clothes Gray had worn when he was thirteen, but he couldn't deny the fact of being shorter and skinnier than most Nord men. Lucy was surprisingly short for a Nord, even shorter than him. Natsu had once thought that all Nord women would be as towering as Erza, but seemed they came in variety.
"Speaking of Gray, he said he wants to talk to you," Lucy said as she got up and walked to the wardrobe on the other side of the room. As if sensing that Natsu didn't want to say anything to Gray, she continued, "You should still hear him out. I think he wants to apologize."
Natsu snorted, not believing that bullshit. "Where are they anyway? Gray and Erza?"
"That was what I was supposed to tell you about. They went to talk to the Jarl," Lucy started as she went through the closet, trying to find something fitting for him to wear. "There has been a house fire the day before yesterday. A man named Hroggar lost his wife and daughter in the blaze. The Jarl is looking into that, because the very next day, the man pledged himself to a woman named Alva. Doesn't that sound weird? The Jarl wants to know if that was an accident, or something else."
Natsu frowned. "So the Jarl thinks that this guy set his house on fire just so he could be with another woman?"
"And would a man really do that?"
"… probably not, unless they were enthralled to do so."
"Exactly," Lucy said. She took a folded set of robes from the lowest shelf of the cabinet, and decided they were good enough. She closed the wardrobe and brought the fresh clothes to him. "Gray says that he knew this woman, but she hasn't been seen lately. They don't open the door, just shout through it that Hroggar is in mourning. But Gray's description of that woman fits rather well the vampire at the inn. Brown hair, pretty face, a nice rack, as Gray called it."
Natsu knit his brows together. He tried to form a memory of the woman, but couldn't understand what Lucy was saying. "Uhm, I don't remember her having any weapon racks with her…"
Lucy sighed. "That means breasts, Natsu."
"Ah. Okay. Well, I didn't really look at –"
"Anyway, it could be her," Lucy interrupted him, not wanting to hear if he had looked at the woman's breasts or not. However, the answer was no. "We still have to be sure of it. It's all so suspicious."
But as he went through his memory of that night, one more thing came to his mind. "Wait a moment… I remember that this vampire said that she needs someone with a little fire in their blood. Maybe that's why she tried to enthrall me? To use me to burn down that house? I'm a stranger who might have burned a few houses in the past, just perfect for the job."
Lucy fell silent as she thought over his theory, then she nodded. "Have I ever said that you're actually very smart sometimes?"
"That sometimes doesn't sound very convincing."
"No, really. That makes a lot of sense. We should hear what Erza and Gray find out from the Jarl, and tell that to them once they get back," Lucy said and walked to the door. "But first, you really need to take that bath."
Natsu chuckled as Lucy left the room.
Gray's house had a little outdoor sauna behind the main building, right at the shore of the great pond of Morthal. Nothing had changed since he had last been there. Years ago, Ur had forced him to get washed before she gave him a set of fresh clothes – again, those had been Gray's old. So, still remembering where the soap bars and wooden pots and boiling kettles were, Natsu washed the dust of Ustengrav away from him. He had still had dried blood in his hair.
He soon returned to the house, clad in some dark-blue, white-trimmed robes Lucy had picked for him from Gray's wardrobe. Even they were a bit too large for him. He had to wrap the belt tight around his waist and roll up the sleeves so it wouldn't look so ridiculous. They were enchanted with a basic magicka regeneration spell, nothing more, and he was already missing the boost his own robes gave to his flames with their destruction enchant.
Lucy was in the kitchen, hanging his freshly-washed clothes to dry on the perch above the stove, right next to her robes and his white scarf. It was strange to see it actually white again, not stained in blood and dust. Natsu stopped in the doorway, leaned against the frame, and just watched her for a while. It just looked so funny that she had to climb on a chair and rise on her toes so she could reach the drying perch. Her back was facing him, and it didn't seem she had noticed he had come. As she was humming some song, she probably hadn't heard him either.
Everything seemed just so ordinary in that small moment, not in a bad way. There were no great prophecies of the world's end, no adventures across the vast country of Skyrim, no death lurking in every shadow they passed past. Just Lucy, not as a hero destined to save the world from the dragons, but as a friend, fussing over him almost like his mom once did. It made him wonder if this was just the way she truly was as a person under all the tragedy that had happened to her – warm-hearted, caring, affectionate, devoting all her time and support to her friends.
And Natsu was simply so glad to have her as a friend.
He remained there in silence, gazing at her while he listened to the melody she sang. She had sung it before, but there didn't seem to be any words to it, as if they were lost to the ages. He couldn't remember hearing anyone else sing that song, even though he had heard quite many songs, as the inns and taverns he had visited almost always had a bard entertaining the patrons there. His brother had been musical – he seemed to possess every talent in the world – and had played the lute when he had still been home. In fact, Natsu had tried to play it too, but never got very good, and never told anyone he had sometimes played.
Then a chilling unease filled his chest as he realised this was the same song Lucy had sung in his dream when he had killed her.
Natsu lowered his gaze to his feet, his smile withering. 'It was just a dream, nothing else,' he told himself, again and again, but the vision of her lying lifeless in his arms refused to go anywhere. 'Of course drawing an alchemy-infused Daedric letter on one's forehead would cause such horrible nightmares. I would never harm her –' The line of his thoughts ceased when he understood that was a lie. That dream had been just seconds away from becoming reality yesterday – and the fact that he had broken her trust by letting a Dark Brotherhood assassin know her identity wasn't a small thing either, the harm was just yet to come.
There was sorrow in her melody, sorrow that now seeped through his skin. He rarely let any song hit him into the feels, but this one did. If Lucy knew – like truly knew – what he had done, would she still do this? She was forgiving, but were his sins beyond the limits to which she could forgive? While the guilt was becoming overwhelming to carry, Natsu selfishly wanted to keep carrying it, all for the sake of not losing her. Not losing this. There had been truth in the dream, after all. She, and she alone, was the light in his life.
As Lucy had finally hung the clothes to dry, she began to climb down. She glanced over her shoulder, startled as she finally saw him in the doorway. Her song came to an end as she cast him an embarrassed smile – a smile which cast away all the darkness.
"Damn, you're so quiet," she said as she carried a bucket of water to the window, opened the pane and tossed it outside. Natsu cringed at the dark, rusty colour his robes had dyed the water into. Lucy placed the bucket on the floor and dried her hands into the hem of her dress. "Lyon gave me some gall soap for the bloodstains, but don't think I got all of them removed. Should've washed them earlier –"
"It's fine. Thanks, Lucy," Natsu answered, closed the door and took a seat on the table. It was surprisingly difficult to say anything to her. He eyed at the wheat buns on a plate, the delicious smell bringing back his lost appetite. "May I take one of these?"
"Go ahead. Lyon baked them in the morning. Think he put some apple sauce and cinnamon in them," Lucy said and brought some tea from the stove. When she returned to the table, Natsu had already eaten one and began to devour the second bun. He had worried if he could ever enjoy the flavour of anything after tasting her blood, but these were almost as good. Lucy smiled, gave him a mug of tea and poured another for herself. "Ur promised we could stay here as long as we need, but I think we should head back to Whiterun tomorrow."
Natsu nodded while chewing the bun, then swallowed. Eating with his new teeth was surprisingly difficult, at least if he didn't want to bite his tongue. "Guess that's okay. If I slept here for a night and Gray didn't slit my throat, maybe I can stay here for one more night."
"No worries, I made sure it wouldn't happen."
"What, you stayed up all night guarding me?"
"No, but I told him to sleep with Lyon and Erza in the other bedchamber. I'm quite sure Ur gave him a pretty good scolding last night, and –"
Natsu lifted his brow, quizzically glancing at her. "Where did you sleep?"
Lucy's cheeks flushed. "Well, with you, because… because I wanted to be sure you were alright. I was very worried. You probably don't remember it, but when we arrived here, you were in a… bad shape, to put it lightly," she mumbled, avoiding his eye contact. "I honestly wasn't sure if you'd make it."
"Yeah. I'd rather be bit by a thousand spiders and then travel in a horse cart for a month than contract vampirism again," Natsu answered and rubbed his forehead. Why was Lucy so ashamed when he asked where she had slept? He had never asked her to share a bed, she had chosen that herself, and he just chose not to complain. It was still a change he couldn't help but notice. She didn't need to be embarrassed about it though. "And I guess that as long as you don't molest me at night, I'm fine with your little sleeping arrangement."
The blush on her face kept deepening. "Of course I wouldn't! I… eh, I just… well…"
"Seriously, I don't mind."
"It's just that it gets so cold at night, and… uhm, I don't know. It's just a habit I seem to have formed during this time. It's… easier to fall asleep when you're there."
Natsu hid his smile into the teacup. A month and a half ago she had violently thrown him out when he had unintentionally wandered into her room at night and slept on the rug on the floor. It had been just as cold in Winterhold back then as it was now in here. "Yeah, after all that's happened to us, I don't think it's a big deal."
"Exactly," Lucy agreed.
Yes, after surviving three dragon attacks, one assassination attempt, a giant guardian troll and a month in a monastery, one could say they had gone through a lot together. Sheogorath's beard, they both had even tasted each other's blood. In Natsu's books, that was far more intimate than sleeping in the same bed, even though he didn't dare to say it out loud. Lucy probably thought of him as a freak already. Or then not. He couldn't tell.
But how could everything feel so serene after all the nightmares they had endured?
At that moment, when they just sat there around the round table, drinking tea and eating apple-flavoured wheat buns, all the mayhem of the outside world seemed to disappear. For a brief while, Natsu forgot the dragons, vampires, assassins, even the giant frostbite spiders, as if she had just banished them all to Oblivion. The peace would be broken the moment they'd step out of the house, as trouble seemed to follow them everywhere they went, but Natsu tried to savour it while it lasted.
"So…" Lucy started after a little silence, when the redness on her cheeks had faded. "Since things turned into shit in Ustengrav, we never really talked about what we should do next. Riften is a long way from here, but without the horn, the Greybeards won't finish my training."
"That whole thing seems like a trap to me," Natsu answered. "We should be careful when we meet that person. I wouldn't trust anyone who was able to go steal the damn horn."
Could it be that it was of Jellal's doing? He was the only one who knew where they were going. Natsu's throat tightened as he realised it could be an invitation straight into the dragon cult's nest. They were after the Dragonborn, and luring her into a trap and killing her would be an easy way to ensure Alduin's domination over the world.
"We'll figure something. I already talked to Erza, and agreed on travelling with her back to Whiterun. I hope Mystogan could help us out with deciding what to do with those who took the horn," Lucy said, leaned on the table and grinned. "By the way, I'm pretty sure Erza has a thing going on with the scholar."
'Speak of the fucking devil.'
"You don't say," Natsu mumbled against his closed fist. How conflicting it was that Lucy had figured out they were a thing, but not that the scholar was everything else than a real scholar. "They were pretty open about that in Jorrvaskr."
"Was he there too?" Lucy wondered, then her eyes widened. She probably remembered what Cana had said about him and the 'legends of the giant willy'. "Oh dear, so that's what the serious research in the bed meant…"
Memories of that night stirred awake within him. Natsu bit into his lower lip, as he often did when he got nervous, but now he winced from the pain as his teeth sunk through his skin. "Ow, shit!"
"Are you okay!?" Lucy exclaimed, instantly standing up from the table.
Natsu covered his mouth with his palm, squeezing his eyes shut and inwardly cursing at himself. He nodded a few times, then lowered his hand. Blood had splattered on his fingers and dripped down his chin. "Fhoken grheath," he mumbled as Lucy brought him a cloth rag from the cabinet and pressed it on the lip he had bitten.
"Goodness, you should be more careful –"
"Thaht whas an acchdinent –"
Natsu lifted his gaze up, and Lucy was gazing down at him. She held his chin as she kept the rag on his mouth, her other hand behind his head to hold him in place. Her brows knit together as she examined how deeply he had bit himself, and Natsu couldn't help but blush. He, of all the people, fucking blushed. Her fingers touched his lips, softly traced over them. At least he had successfully distracted the discussion away from Jellal, but this was getting too distracting, and so damn weird.
And as if it wasn't embarrassing enough as it was, the kitchen's door opened, Erza and Gray stepping in.
"So, we found out that a woman named Laelette set the blaze –" Erza began, but was cut when she saw them. "Sorry, did we interrupt something?"
"Noth ath all," Natsu mumbled nervously, took the rag into his own hand and shoved Lucy away. He spat the blood out of his mouth into the cloth and wiped his chin, eyeing at Lucy as she seated down on the opposite side of the round table. She hid a chuckle into her sleeve. "Just getting used to living with fangs. Bet vampires have this easier since they don't have to actually chew the food they eat."
"I see," Erza answered and walked into the room. Gray stayed behind. Natsu sensed something different in the atmosphere, as if the man's insufferable arrogancy had truly been beaten out of him, both physically and verbally. "Other than that, how do you feel, Natsu?"
"I'm okay now, I guess," he said and wiped his mouth again. The bleeding didn't seem to cease on its own, so he cast a minor healing spell on it. A good sign was that the blood didn't taste anyhow ecstatic, but well, it was just his own, so he couldn't tell for sure. "And hey, thanks for everything, Erza. I really appreciate it." He looked at Lucy to amplify he meant her, too. "I wouldn't have made it without your help yesterday." Then he looked down at the table before glancing over his shoulder, where Gray was still standing in the doorway. "Not you, asshole."
He hadn't been surprised at all when Gray had suggested they'd just kill him. Natsu couldn't blame him, though. He wouldn't pass any opportunity to kill the frost bastard either. Still, his respect for Erza had been instantly restored as she had kicked him bloody.
"Natsu," Gray began quietly as he walked into the room, closing the door behind him. "I… I'm sorry."
Natsu frowned. "Go fuck yourself, man. I know that's bullshit. You're only apologizing because your mom told you to."
"No, I…" Gray seated down on the table and combed his hand through his raven-black hair, stopped to grope his neck. He couldn't even look at him. "I've been an asshole, I know. I'm sorry about it, and everything else."
Natsu swore that if Lucy and Erza weren't there, he would've already grabbed Gray by the neck and thrown him to the floor. He just sighed. Out of the respect Natsu had for Ur, he decided not to beat her son, at least in her house. Once they'd get out, it would be a different story.
"And after being the most annoying piece of shit in this world for years, you think that's gonna fix that?"
"I'm not expecting you to forgive me," Gray answered, finally turning his gaze to him. For the first time ever, his eyes were sincere. "But you should understand that I just tried to protect Lucy yesterday. You almost killed her. That would've doomed us all."
"I know," Natsu answered. Denying that fact would be foolish, he had to admit, even to himself. "I'll have to thank you for that." He tapped his fingers to the wooden table. "So, thanks for saving her yesterday, and in Labyrinthian, too."
Gray chuckled dryly. "I'm just thinking what's best for everyone," he said. "And now, I think it would be best if we finally bury the hatchet. There's enough quarrel in the world already. I don't have the energy to fight with you all the fucking time."
Surprised, Natsu stared at him for a moment. Was Gray truly suggesting that they'd bury the hatchet they had been swinging at each other since the day they had met? Damn, Ur must've given him a complete verbal bashing.
"That entirely depends on your ability to keep your mouth shut. If you wouldn't talk shit all the time, I wouldn't have to shut it with my fists," Natsu said, grinning. "Could you, like, cast the muffle spell in your throat? That would make standing your presence a lot easier."
Gray snorted. "You won't have to stand my presence for much longer. I'm going to go back to Winterhold from here, after this vampire business has been figured out," he started. Natsu was so happy to hear that – so happy that he actually considered forgiving him, but only time could show that. "I think we found out who was the vampire who infected you. Does dark hair, pretty face, and nice tits sound familiar?"
"Oh, so you were the vampire?" Natsu teased. He just couldn't resist. "Wouldn't have guessed."
"I'm gonna cast the muffle spell in your throat, idiot," Gray answered. "It could be Alva. Damn. If it's really her, I don't know when she was turned or why. She used to be a good girl."
"You knew her?" Lucy asked.
Gray cleared his throat. "Well, I might've lost my boyhood to her a few years ago."
Natsu cracked into a laugh. "And you accused me of sticking my dick into some vampire cunt! What was the Nord saying again? That dog yelps to which the –"
"Shut up, will you? She obviously wasn't a vampire then," Gray said, rubbing the bridge of his nose as he sighed. He was trying to behave properly, which seemed as difficult to him as it was to Natsu. "Did Lucy explain to you the story behind the burned house?"
"Somehow," Natsu answered.
"Well, we're gonna start this from the beginning. A month ago or so, people of Morthal began to disappear mysteriously. Some left notes behind saying that they left to join the Stormcloaks. Around the same time, people started dying. Always the same scheme. They were found in the morning lying in their beds with their necks opened, so the word of a vampire on the loose started to spread in the town," Gray explained. "The rumours were confirmed when the first dead one awakened in her casket at the burial. She started banging the coffin from the inside, spooking everyone out of their wits. When her husband opened the box, she attacked him in the instant. She tore his throat open and feasted on his blood, so the guards threw their torches at them, finishing both off. After then, they started cremating the bodies."
Natsu cringed, and Gray continued the story. Things had truly been getting dark in Morthal lately.
"Idgrod Ravencrone, the Jarl of Morthal declared an emergency with the growing vampire menace. She hired a scholar or two to investigate the situation, but they found out nothing. But now we actually have a clue, and that is the burned house."
"So, the vampire enthralled the guy and made him burn his own house?" Natsu asked.
"No. Last night, a woman named Laelette turned herself in. She said that she burned the house because she was in love with Hroggar, but she didn't mean to kill his daughter, only his wife. She had tried to save the girl from the blaze, but failed, and in her guilt, she confessed her crime," Gray told and remained quiet for a moment. "But we think that she was enthralled to burn the house and become the scapegoat. Because the day after the fire, Hroggar pledged himself to Alva. It could be that Alva was looking for someone strong to be her bodyguard, and Hroggar, a big brute of a Nord as he is, was just perfect."
Lucy glanced at the frost mage before asking, "Did you talk to Laelette?"
Gray was silent for a while. "No. She killed herself this morning."
"Poor woman," Lucy sighed. "But if she was in the jail, how could she –"
"She bit through her own wrist and bled out. She had grown fangs, too. Alva must've infected her as she enthralled her," Erza said.
Natsu cursed in his mind. If all that was true, that woman was a spawn of the evil. Why would anyone even do that, a vampire or not?
"So, what's the Jarl going to do now?" Lucy asked while Natsu got lost in his thoughts.
"She doesn't know what to believe. Me and Erza promised her we could solve this out by confronting Alva today. We go to her house and see if she's truly the vampire who's behind this all," Gray said. "It could be that she's a part of some bigger vampire clan that's working on some grand scheme against the people of Morthal. We have to find that out, so we can't kill her right ahead. It would be too easy to just set her house on fire – but if she wasn't a vampire, then we'd be fucked."
"Are we're just going to knock on her door and nicely ask if she's a vampire or not?" Natsu asked, frowning.
"Yes. There's one advantage we have," Erza started. "She can't leave her house in the daytime. She's trapped there. Even if she tries to use some vampiric charm, she can't do it on all of us at once. We'll go there, find the truth, and then take her to the Jarl."
'Vampire hunting?' Natsu thought and grinned by himself. 'Consider me all fired up.'
Gray led them through the streets of Morthal to Alva's house – Natsu didn't necessarily want to know how he knew where she lived – but as they knocked on the door, there was no answer. No sound carried through the wooden walls and black curtains were drawn in front of the windows. Sun was shining brightly in the skies. It made Natsu's head ache a little, but it was nothing compared to the pure torture it had been yesterday, when it had reduced him into a miserable bundle who just begged for death.
Gray knocked on Alva's door for the last time. His strategy didn't seem to be working. "Hey, it's me, Gray. For the old time's sake, would you open the door?"
Natsu held back a burst of laughter as Lucy shoved the frost mage out of the door, crouched and did her magic with the lockpick. The door opened in no time. While one usually shouldn't pick the locks and trespass in the bright of a day, now they had the Jarl's permission to do so. They had told the patrolling guards that if they had to break into the house, they were doing it as a part of the vampire investigation. They were supposed to try to solve this without violence, but had a right to defend themselves if needed.
They stepped into the house and closed the door. There was no one in the dim entry hall, but as soon as their footsteps were heard, a man emerged from the bedchamber. He held an axe in his hands, but froze as he saw four of them. It seemed they were on the right track.
"What are you doing here?" the man asked, his voice rough and lifeless. He had to be Hroggar, the man who lost his family in the blaze. "Get our or I'll call the guards!"
"The guards are very aware that we are here," Natsu said coldly and stepped closer to the man. "Now, tell me, where's Alva?"
"I'm not going to warn again. Leave here, now!"
Natsu drew his dagger from the sheath, kicked the man to the ground and stooped over him to hold the blade on his throat. He pressed down the man's right hand that was holding the axe, put on the scariest face he could, and lowered his voice into a growl. "Look, I've been in the death row for several arsons, and I really don't want to get back into that line, but if you don't tell me where Alva is, I swear I'm gonna burn this house to the ground. Do you understand?"
As Natsu looked into the man's hazy eyes, he knew that he didn't understand. He wasn't there, too deep in the enthrallment to ever be pulled back. The more vulnerable the victim was, the easier they became to manipulate. The vampire woman must've wrecked him by arranging the death of his family, then turned him into her personal guard. Seemed she should've been more careful when picking up the right man for the task, since this guy simply was just –
"You'll never have her!" Hroggar screamed and forcefully kicked him to the guts, causing him to grunt from pain and loosen his hold around his arm. "You're dead! Dead –"
Blood gurgled out of his mouth as Natsu slit his throat, stood up and left him to bleed out on the floor. So much of solving this without violence – and Natsu had a feeling this was just a beginning.
"Guess that's the end of that," Gray mumbled from the background. "Were we supposed to spare him?"
"There wasn't much left to spare. He was just a thrall," Natsu told and turned away from the grisly scene. "At least he can be with his family now. But since he reacted that way, it means Alva is somewhere in this building. Let's search. Be careful."
There was something strange in Lucy's eyes as she stared at the bloodied dagger in Natsu's hand. Disgust? Shock? Maybe she hadn't expected him to kill that man, as if she had forgotten the rule that Natsu still lived by. Kill or be killed. It would never change. Especially now when they were confronting the people responsible for what went down just yesterday, he was running very low on patience. All the pain he had gone through was transmuting into anger.
Gray and Erza decided to search through the bedroom, and Natsu and Lucy headed to the cellar. A stone stairway led from the kitchen to the underground, and at the end of it was a tightly locked door. Lucy cast Candlelight to hover above her as she ducked in front of the lock and began to pick it. She cussed as the lockpick broke, but she quickly pulled another one from her pocket. It broke again. She let out a frustrated sigh.
"This is some sturdy lock design," she murmured as tried again with a new lockpick. She had a few of them left. "Can you just break through this if –"
All out of a sudden, the door was violently slammed open. It hit Lucy to the nose, sending her flying backwards from the impact. She whimpered as she landed on Natsu's feet.
"Lucy!" he shouted, forced to fight against his first instinct to help her as he saw a flash of a dark-haired woman standing in the doorway before Lucy's Candlelight expired. There was no doubt of it – she was the vampire they encountered in the inn.
He grabbed Lucy from her shoulders and pulled her out of the way, but before he could charge at the woman, a wave of strange magic was unleashed in the narrow stairway. It pierced through his head and forcefully grabbed his mind, as if trying to snap him out of the rage he felt, but no, this rage couldn't be dispelled by anything in the whole world.
In the corner of his vision, Lucy was holding her hands over her bleeding nose, her eyes watering from the pain. Natsu stared through the magic Alva tried to restrain him with, the wrath within him growing into terrifying measures. This woman had tried to use him, infected him with vampirism, put him through the worst ordeal of his life, but those things meant nothing to him.
But above all, this woman had hurt Lucy.
And nothing would stop him from making her pay for that.
"Your tricks won't work on me twice!" Natsu yelled as he tore himself out of the vampire's charm and bolted forward. She hadn't expected her spell to fail. He enveloped his fists in fire, saw them reflect from those terror-struck amber eyes as he punched the woman straight to the temple of her head. Flames caught her hair and skin as if they were coated in bear fat, she screamed in pain, and oh, how much Natsu loved hearing that.
He remembered exactly how fire hurt.
While he felt tempted to turn her into ashes here and now, they still had to know the reasons behind her vile actions. Natsu forced the flames to go out as Alva collapsed to the ground on her stomach. He marched to her, brutally lifted her from the dark hair and caught her hands into a tight hold against her back. "You said we would meet again? Well, here I am, bitch!" he yelled at her as she still whimpered in pain. "And now you're going to fucking tell us what you've been up to, or I'll burn you alive. Understand!?"
Alva nodded frantically, and Natsu began to drag her out of the cellar room. "Get upstairs," he told to Lucy, who sat trembling in the ground, still holding her nose. Natsu lifted his gaze from her to Gray and Erza, who had appeared in the upper end of the stairs. "We found the vampire."
Not caring how much he hurt her, Natsu forced Alva up the stairs and into the kitchen. Erza brought Lucy there. A nasty bruise was forming all across her face, and that alone made Natsu's blood boil. He gestured at Gray to move to the window as he dragged the woman closer. "Open the curtains," he growled at the frost mage.
To a vampire, only one thing was worse than fire.
Sunlight.
"No!" screamed the woman, struggling to get freed, but his hold persisted. He twisted her arms that he held behind her back and tugged her hair even harder.
"Were you the one behind all the vampire attacks in this town?" Natsu asked her. The intimidating tone of his voice almost scared him, too.
She nodded, her breath growing ragged.
"Are you a part of a larger group of vampires, or did you act alone?"
As she didn't say anything, Natsu nodded at Gray, who slightly opened the black curtains. A ray of light hit the woman's face, making her scream in excruciating pain. Her skin smoked and melted, and Natsu told Gray to close the curtains again. He remembered that feeling, too, as if molten silver had been poured into his eyes. He had endured terrible pains in his life, but nothing had compared to that. It had made him want to die. The woman panted, lowered her head down.
"I'm not going to ask again," Natsu snarled. "You almost fucking turned me into a bloodsucker too, hurt my friend, and I'm not feeling the slightest regret of putting you through the same agony as you did. So, tell me, do you belong to some clan or not?"
Alva gasped for air, and didn't seem to answer. She kept shaking her head, sniffled as tears rolled down her cheeks. Natsu signed at Gray to open the curtains again, but the frost mage hesitated. While Gray had easily threatened to kill him yesterday, doing the same with this woman was difficult for him. But just because Gray had bedded this bitch in the past wasn't any reason to spare her now. "Just open them, or I'll drag her straight outside."
"We weren't supposed to kill her –"
"I don't fucking care," Natsu rumbled. He wasn't sure how long he could contain his anger. "Come on! You said it yourself that these damn obscurities have to be cleaned out before they overpopulate the fucking country!"
The woman quivered from head to toes, squirmed as Gray finally pulled the curtains aside. She fell on her knees, tried to curl up to cover her eyes from the sun, but Natsu just turned her around and held her tightly in the flame of light the sun had drawn on the floor.
"Fucking speak!"
He stared Alva into the eyes, his own blazing with untamed wrath. Something flickered in the woman's frightened gaze, as if his cruelty was something she had seen before.
"B-blood of my… blood…" she whispered, air running out of her throat as a wheeze. "You… you are… Lord… Ze…ref's…"
Upon those words, Natsu's entire world stopped.
"… what?"
Alva didn't answer, and the silence snapped apart all the restraints.
"What did you say?!" he screamed from the bottom of his lungs, fiercely shaking the woman as embers sparked from his palms. "WHAT DID YOU FUCKING SAY!?"
The air was filled with steam and smoke as his flames joined to scorch the vampire. Unable to control them any longer, he blasted pure fire against the unmoving body his fists had clutched into. The pale limbs withered into ashes and slipped through his fingers, stoking his rage evermore, but it wasn't enough. He was searing to burn this wicked woman again, and again, and again, until there wouldn't be even the ashes left of her –
Then someone grabbed him from the shoulders and pulled him away from the scorched corpse.
"Natsu, stop!" Lucy shouted. "She's already dead!"
Natsu breathed heavily as Gray cast ice on the flames before they would spread all over the house. The fire mage collapsed to the ground and held his head in his hands. He had completely lost it – gathering all the pieces of his shattered self-control had never been so difficult as it was now. It had been a long while since his emotions had exploded with these same old results.
"She… she fucking knew I'm his brother," Natsu mumbled into his hands, still unable to believe what he had heard. "She knew Zeref, she said Lord Zeref, just… just what the fuck is this!?" His voice rose towards the end, then he lifted his gaze to see what he had done. All answers he had been seeking had slipped through his fingers just like the ash did. "Fuck this shit! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!"
And right then, Zeref's words echoed in his turmoiling mind.
You are following right after my footsteps, my brother
Natsu slammed his fists to the floor, hard enough to make joints of his fingers slip out of place. He couldn't even feel the pain from the boiling of his blood, as if nothing but pure fire rushed through his veins, aching to get out. Whatever in the world the woman had known, that knowledge was now lost to the Void, because he had fucking killed her. Natsu brought his closed fist to his lips and kept cursing.
Yes, this had indeed been the reason why he was getting executed for.
"Well… you really blew everything up," Gray commented, scratching the back of his head as he stared at the burned body. "Now we won't know who she worked for. I hope she left some clues behind. Would a diary containing all of her plans be too good to be true?"
Natsu could not answer. The woman got what she fucking deserved, but they were left empty-handed. He was left empty-handed, with nothing but a thousand questions that cut through his lungs like daggers.
A soft, small hand landed on his shoulder. He knew it was Lucy, and suddenly he felt guilty. Not for killing the vampire, but for letting her see him lose control.
"She probably wouldn't have told us anything anyway, so…" Lucy whispered as she sat down beside him. "After everything she did, I think this was the only right thing to do."
There was a shiver of a lie in her voice, as if she was trying to force herself to believe that, as if she was trying to force herself not to be afraid. She was trembling, but she still stayed there, sat beside him in the darkness, despite knowing what kind of a monster he could be.
As the others began to think about how to tell the Jarl about this, Natsu drifted lost into the storming seas of his own thoughts. He couldn't speak, couldn't hear what they talked about, for the only thing in his mind was his brother's words.
In the endless night is where you'll find me, for only you are my brother, blood of my blood.
A/N: Hi guys, hope you enjoyed this chapter!
What a rollercoaster of fluff and violence this chapter was, but definitely fun to write. In this chapter, I also wanted to bring Natsu's brutal side into daylight. In Fairy Tail, we all know how brutal he can be. It was super interesting to create the dream Natsu had, and since he usually doesn't see dreams, it becomes even more meaningful. This was also the most perfect spot for dropping major of this One Particular Character who has been shrouded in mystery so far.
Personally, I think that Natsu has already developed a lot of fond feelings for Lucy here and he's slowly realising them. It's natural for Lucy to be caring and compassionate, so Lucy herself probably doesn't see anything "strange" in her actions, but Natsu totally notices that. Hell, Lucy already acts like his wife, Lucy just does that so naturally that she doesn't even think of it that way, and that gets Natsu high on oxytocin and dopamine. Unfortunately the science in Skyrim isn't developed enough to explain the concept of hormones to him, so it's just his brain going haywire with love. But since he's haunted by his guilt and the feeling of not deserving her, he most like won't make any move, he'll just suffer on his own until Lucy realises this too.
As a female writer, it's kinda hard to write a man's perspective on falling in love, especially with a guy like Natsu, so I hope I'm doing him justice and not portraying his feelings stupidly.
After this chapter, there's going to be a shorter mini-chapter before One Major Event that's probably going to be the most massive chapter so far. I'll have to do a lot of research and reading for that chapter so it might take me longer to write it, but I think the mini-chapter (aka 3k instead of 9-10k) will get you hyped!
Next up: Forward!
