Kagome's Epitaph

Here lies the miko of the Shikon; chosen of Midoriko, beloved of both man and youkai, protector of the pure heart. Here lies Kagome Higurashi, beloved daughter, loving sister, and cherished friend.

She dedicated her life to righting the wrongs plaguing the world, and to the people of this time and those long past. She gave everything she had in her quest to stop the most vile and heinous creature to ever walk these lands, and she paid for her noble quest with her very life.

Here lies Kagome Higurashi. Though she may be gone from us, know that she shall live on for eternity in our hearts.

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Pretty good don't you think?

What, you didn't actually think I was dead did you?

Well let's clear that up right now. No I am not dead. I am actually sitting very comfortably at my computer doing more research for yet another experiment and recording my thoughts on my trusty voice recorder.

Another experiment you say? Didn't I swear off science? Yes I did make that statement, but things have changed since then. But I'll get to that later.

For right now, I am writing my own epitaph. I know that it is customary for loved ones to write a person's epitaph, but I could just imagine what that would look like.

"Here lies Kagome Higurashi. She was very ill, and was finally done in by a bad case of Necrotizing Fascitis."

Oh yes grandpa, I would just love for the world to know for all eternity that I died of a flesh eating disease. In fact I think that's every girl's dream as to how they should be remembered. Why would I want people to think of me as someone who loved and was loved, someone who had strong beliefs and convictions; someone who made a difference in the world if I can have flesh eating disease? But grandpa where would I be without your fantastical beliefs, your knowledge (be it skewed and inaccurate) about the feudal era and demons, and your incredible ability to come up with diseases no one has ever heard of to get me out of school? Oh grandpa I love you and your crazy ways!

"Here lies the Lady Kagome Higurashi. She was one of the most beautiful, enticing, exotic, and with the firmest…"

"MONK!"

"Oh Sango, my dear, no one could ever compare to your beauty or your firmness…"

!Glomp!

Oh yeah I can see it now; the lecherous monk being the one to mark my tomb so that the world can remember me. By the time he was done I would likely be the world's most promiscuous miko or a fallen angel with an ass of steel. I think I have finally come to terms with the fact that Miroku really will never learn (sigh), but that will never stop me from caring for him as one of my dearest friends.

"Here lies Kagome Higurashi. That stupid girl always thought she could just jump right in to danger and that I would always be around to protect her. Feh! Like I would ever protect some stupid girl"

I bet deep down Inuyasha would be really upset, but that wouldn't stop him from trying to blame the whole thing on me in public! That selfish, self-centered, egotistical…Oh Inuyasha – sniffle – you've been my best friend ever since I released you from that tree. You've shown me strength and courage that I never would have known to exist without you. You've shown me what a hero really is. If I do die because of this journey, I will make sure to look in on you from time to time just to make sure that you're doing ok.

Anyways, when I thought about what kinds of things would be said about me after my death, I realized that I wanted people to remember the most what I thought about myself. I wanted them to see me as I wished to be seen, as I tried every day to make myself be, as the person that I wanted most to become; even if it would be with my last words that they would finally be able to see it.

You may ask why I suddenly have decided to write this epitaph. The answer is very simple really: I almost died.

Coming so close to death does things a person, it changes them. Now, I will admit that I have been close to death before, but somehow or another someone has always found a way to save me. Not this time though, this time I was left to my own devices. This time I had to save myself.

I was terrified. I was beyond terrified. I don't even think there is a word to describe how scared I was, or how certain I was that I would not live to see another day. But I battled through the terror, fought against the uncertainties and feelings of hopelessness, came to terms with what I could do and what I could not, and held firm to my beliefs; and I was spared.

Now I know it may be difficult for some of you to believe that I could be spared considering the fact that the one who almost killed me was Sesshomaru, the cold and ruthless demon Lord that would sooner say something along the lines of 'I have no use for humans' and lop of my head just so he can see the residual effects of my nerves spasming leaving my body moving for a few seconds before it caught up with the fact that I no longer had a head; but the truth is that I was spared, and it was Sesshomaru who spared me.

I think that perhaps I have underestimated the demon Lord. Don't get me wrong, I would never underestimate the man…err…youkai when it come to power or abilities, but when it comes to other things; like his thoughts or his emotions, those things which I know now he hides so well from the world but which must be so incredibly deep and strong, I think I may have been mistaken.

How can I call someone cold if I have seen with my own eyes that they can be driven by lust? How can I call someone heartless when he has spared not only my life, but the lives of others as well? How can I say that someone is stoic or expressionless when I have seen that person be inquisitive, surprised, demanding, and enraged?

If I have been wrong about all of these things, if everything I thought I knew about him was false; how can I then so readily call him a beast, how can I be so quick to say he is my enemy, how can I say as I had before that I would wish him pain, injury, or death?

The answer is I don't know. I don't know what to think of Sesshomaru any more. I don't know how to feel about Sesshomaru any more. I just don't know.

This shouldn't be so difficult. I shouldn't be dwelling on thoughts that will likely never have an answer. I should focus on the present, on what's to come next. But no matter what I do, I always seem to come back to one thing; always to one question: Why did he spare me?

Why when it would have been so easy for him to take my life as I had offered it into his hands not once but twice? Why when I had humiliated him, injured his pride and insulted his position? Why when I am not but a small human living what little time I have in a time and place where human life is thought nothing but fleeting? Why would he spare me? What could I have done to make him change his mind?

It is hopeless. No matter what I do, I don't think I will ever figure out the riddle that is Sesshomaru. Perhaps though, if I share my story with someone else, if I can tell you what happened on that night, if I can somehow let you see what I saw or hear what I heard; maybe then you could help me figure out this mystery.

My name is Kagome Higurashi and it all started out as an experiment, but it all went wrong; it all went very, very wrong.

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I know it's short, please don't kill me! I have been updating for every day for the past six days, and being that I do not have any chapters pre-written and that I am not hoarding any secret chapters behind my back, you will all have to give me a little credit for actually being able to write between 1500-2500 words every day so that I can keep with this schedule.

OH! Guess what! I got hate mail! Yes someone actually told me they hated me for leaving them hanging on the cliffs edge in the last chapter! That's so great! Ok I'm sorry Scruffy Wolf. Please forgive me. And see I did update soon (like the same day you gave me that review) so you won't have to go crazy! Now we can both be happy :)

One more thing (boy these author's notes are getting long, I'm going to blame that on the fact that I have been having practice with rambling on for obscene amounts of time about absolutely nothing thanks to one particular reviewer who seems to think that they can beat me in the long-windedness category. Well I'm still going to show you Blue Dart!) Where was I?...Oh yeah! I was being evil! Hang on…

Kukukukukukuku

Mwwahahahahaha

Hehehehahahahaha

Ahhhh…now that that's out I feel much better.

I left everyone hanging with the last chapter and then made you all think Kagome was dead! Isn't that just fabulous! I know this chapter was more serious than the previous ones, but I wanted to have a somber tone to things after her near-death experience. Next chapter I promise that we will go right back to where I left off with Sess and I will go back to writing in a more humorous tune.

Ok, I think that's it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters I am about to weave into my web of chaos. Any and all definitions have been taken directly from Wikipedia the online encyclopedia because I am far too lazy to do any further research to support my Inuyasha obsession.

ShadowsWeaver1