Understanding
Sunset: the mixing of the day and the night. Where one unmovable force battles against another in an explosion of the most incredible colors the eye can ever see. Darkness and light waging war; one shadowing out the other until it is turned away again with blazing fires.
I sighed. It just wasn't possible to enjoy the sunset. I was waiting. I've always hated waiting. Nothing to do but think about what will come next, and no matter what you think might happen, life always has a way of surprising you. If science has taught me anything it is this: there is a way to the world, but we were never meant to understand it completely. Some things will always be beyond our grasp. Some things we will always strive for. Knowledge, power, truth: things which can never be gained completely. There is simply no absolute, though many have strived to obtain it.
Another thing I hate about waiting. Your thoughts never make any sense. You mind seems to wonder, never staying with one thought. Then again, perhaps I should be grateful my mind has avoided what I'm most afraid will come next.
I have to ask him.
I have to ask him what he's doing here, why he came, how he came. I need to make certain that his being here will not be a threat to my family. If he wants something from me, I need to know what it is.
I had thought Inuyasha was the only one who could gain passage through the well. No one else had ever been able to cross, but he had. There could be no other explanation for Sesshomaru being here; he had used the well. If the well has started letting others through, then my worse fears may just be coming true. Naraku, that monstrous, heinous creature of darkness may find a way to infiltrate my time. Such a thing could not be allowed to happen. I would die before I allowed that creature to be released on my world.
Have I told you I hate waiting! Gah! My thoughts never go anywhere good! Always to the worst possible scenarios. I'm sure there is a logical explanation for what Sesshomaru is doing here. There must be, because he never does anything illogical, right? Obviously he isn't going to kill me…yet. And he seems to be treating my family well; my mother actually said that he was polite. Who knew? I know I didn't.
What could possibly be taking him so long! Here I thought it was girls that took a long time in the bathroom! Apparently dogs take longer. I wonder what he's doing in there…………..Giggle……………Blush…………….Oh my!
Well isn't this just great! Now I'm blushing and I can't stop laughing. Damn my imagination! Look what it's doing to me; it's turned me into another Miroku! God help us all! It's like a disease; spending too much time with a lecher drags your mind down into the gutter far more often than is healthy. Now I'm never going to be able to look him in the eye.
"Miko."
Oh why now? Why when I couldn't possibly be any more embarrassed? Why, oh why, did he decide to finally end my waiting when my mind had wondered to the worst possible place?
I looked up slowly from my seat on the bench beneath the God tree, the whole while praying that the red shades of the sunset would mask the heavy blush staining my cheeks. When I finally could see him I realized that no amount of soft hues from the twilight would be able to mask the heatedness of my face.
He was, for lack of a better word, stunning. Dressed in black slacks with lines accentuating his height, a white-collared shirt strained just so slightly to accommodate his heavy muscles and unbuttoned just below his collar bone. He wasn't wearing his swords or his Mokomoko-sama, and his long silver hair had even been tied back to reveal the magnificant youkai markings brushing his porceling skin with heavy bands of the deepest crimson clashing against the soft blue hues of a summer moon.
I couldn't help staring at him. I had never imagined him to look so…handsome. Covered in armor, wielding a sword (often pointed in my direction) it is difficult to truly appreciate a persons looks. But with all the hard metal stripped away, I managed to catch a glimpse of the man underneath. And what I saw made my breath catch in my throat and my heart skip a beat.
I forced myself to look away, focusing once again on the fading sunlight.
"Why have you come here Sesshomaru?"
I couldn't believe how weak my voice sounded. I want to say that I sounded like a frightened child, but I know that isn't the right way to describe it. I was frightened, but not as I had been frightened by him before; and it was most certainly not the child in me that was afraid.
"This world of yours," came his deep steady voice from behind me, "It is truly amazing."
"This is the future of your world," I sighed. There was no point keeping the truth from him anymore. I looked up into the swaying branches of the sacred tree for guidance, finding in its soft rustling a kind of peace which led me onwards. "Where you stand now, you have stood in the past, 500 years in the past to be more specific. Beside you is the God tree, the one in the forest of Inuyasha, the one where I once released a spell-bound hanyou from his eternal slumber."
I rose from my seat, slowing making my way towards the tree which had bound me to it so. I traced my hand over its withered bark and the lone patch smoothed forever by the workings of magic.
"From the wood of this tree was once made a well, a well with just as much magic as the great tree itself. One day, a day just like any other, I was caught by destiny by that well. A centipede youkai broke through, taking ahold of me, pulling me backwards. I had never known of youkai. I had never known of magic. I was just a normal girl with no more worries than the next test I would have to pass or the next boy that I would meet; but on that fateful day I discovered that I was so much more."
I turned to him then, filled with more resolve for my quest than I had ever felt before.
"I am the guardian of the Shikon no Tama. The jewel was taken from my body by that youkai, and now it is my duty to see it brought back to where it belongs. The well is the portal to my destiny, but it is also the only thing that keeps my family away from the terrors of that world. I need to know how you got here. If there is a way for others to cross over, then I will have no choice but to seal the portal forever."
"Inuyasha has been here before. Why would you now be concerned if others can cross when you know he is capable of such a thing?"
"That's different. Inuyasha and I share a bond through the rosary beads around his neck. They are what allow his passage."
"Hn," he replied as he began walking towards me, a wicked gleam in his golden eyes. "Tell me then, little miko," He stopped right in front of me, forcing me to take a step back only to run into the tree. "Why do you think I was able to cross?" He leaned down to me then, his hot breath scorching the sensitive skin of my neck while the frigid words whispered in my ear cut through me like daggers. "What connection do you suppose we share?"
My mind was racing a mile a minute. I was being trapped by Sesshomaru again. Granted he wasn't nearly as large as the last time he had me pinned, but even in his humanoid form he was still incredibly intimidating. On top of that, my body decided to react to his intrusion in a way that really wasn't justified by how frightened I was. His being so close should have sent shivers of fear through my body; and while I was shivering, I was most certain it had more to do with the tingling in my skin left by the hot caress of his breath against my neck and not me being afraid for my life.
There was also the question he had asked. I was almost certain he would have spouted some nonsense along the lines of if Inuyasha was able to pass through the well then a great youkai such as himself would never be hindered by any magic that a mere hanyo was able to breach. But then again, why would he ever do anything I expect of him? In fact, the day he does do something I expect will probably be the day hell freezes over.
Why must he always be so difficult to read? Why couldn't he just answer my question instead of asking another question that left me even more baffled than I was before? Did he enjoy making me uncomfortable and making me squirm? Never mind, I think I know the answer to that question.
Back to his question. He was obviously implying something, the question is, what? If the connection I share with Inuyasha is what allows him to pass through the well when no one else can, what sort of connection could I possibly share with Sesshomaru that would allow him to do the same? Whatever that connection is, I'm sure he knows and obviously won't tell me, and I have a sinking feeling that it all revolves around something I did.
Could my experiment have had even more unintended effects? Was there something to do with the pheromones that had allowed him to bond with me in some way? I could only prey that wasn't the case. If the reason did have something to do with the pheromones, that would mean that the connection he was speaking of also had something to do with the pheromones; and considering the use of those particular pheromones, I was certain that whatever resulted of such a forced bond would be nothing good.
"Why do you always return to face such dangers if you are so intent to spare your family the same fate?"
He had moved away from me, stopping several feet away and focusing his gaze on the sunset as I had earlier. Though I could breathe easier without him so close, I was still far from being able to breathe normally.
"I return because I must. The Shikon is my responsibility, and it is my fault that it was shattered. All of the pain, suffering, and death brought about by the cursed jewel in some way are my own doing. I can not rest until it has been returned to its natural state and its evil has been sealed forever."
"You speak of duty, but still give no reasons. Even one compelled by pride and dignity to follow their duty must have reasons to do so."
"I have more reasons to do what I do than I wish I had. I have seen the chaos caused by the jewel; watched people killed by and for the possession of it. Seen family's torn apart, children orphaned, love die. And even if these were not enough; even if what I have seen was not enough to convince me of my responsibility, there is always Naraku. His evil plots have caused more pain and more suffering than I can even imagine. At every turn he confronts us with a more disgusting plan, a more wicked incarnation; a new reason to wish for his death. I can not sit back and watch him destroy the land. If he ever gets ahold of the whole Shikon no Tama, he would envelop the world in a darkness so deep and hideous that nothing and no one would ever be able to survive. I will not allow that to happen."
"And you believe," he mused as he turned towards me; one eyebrow raised in what I can only assume was quiet amusement, "That you have the power to stop him."
"Not alone," I conceded, "But I have the strength of my friends to rely on in the fight."
"You mean the stolen strength of that half-breed."
"What strengths Inuyasha possesses are his own. Whatever you may think; Tetsusaiga is his and was always meant to be his. How can you hate him so much for simply accepting the only thing left to him by his father? He was never so lucky as you; he never had the chance to know his father, to hear him speak, to know the man he was. How can you hate someone who, for all their life, has done nothing but strive to be as great as he believes his father was, or even as he believes you are?"
"My hatred for him is something you will never understand priestess."
"Perhaps not, but I do understand one thing Sesshomaru. Hate and love are both emotions of the heart; you can never truly have one without the other."
"Pretty words priestess," he scoffed, "But can you justify them? Can you say, after everything you have told me, that you would love Naraku?"
"I would pity him," I responded. "Pity the man that lives now trapped within a prison of his own devices. Pity the heart; that though misled, still loved and can do so no more. Pity a life wasted on violence and in pain. I would pity him. Pity: a form of compassion. Compassion: a form of love. And from this love I may hate him. Hate what he has allowed himself to become. Hate what he has done and all of the suffering he has caused. Hate what he makes me do and how he makes me feel. Hate that he has made me hate."
He walked over to me then, taking my chin in his clawed hand and forcing me to meet his intense gaze.
"You would give your tears to a creature so vile?"
I hadn't even realized I was crying, but there was nothing I could do about it then so I simply answered his question to the best of my ability.
"I would give them to anyone so unfortunate as to not be able to give them to themselves."
I have no idea what compelled me to do what I did next, even now I have a hard time believing I actually had the balls for it. I reached up and took his hand between my own, never breaking eye contact with him.
"I would give them to you, if you would let me."
He ripped his hand away from me and narrowed his eyes dangerously as he growled out,
"I do not want your pity."
"Nor would I give it to you. Nothing you have ever done would make me want to. I would give you respect for the burden you bear. Despite any personal grievance existing between us, I know that your hand is the staying force in this war-torn land. And I know that with such responsibility, comes great sacrifices. No, for you I would not weep from pity, but to give you my tears because I know you have sacrificed yours for others."
Something I can't describe flashed across his face then, but I was only given an instant to try and decipher it before he turned away from me and was speaking again.
"You speak of things you do not understand."
"Am I wrong Sesshomaru? Am I wrong to believe that you were the powerful youkai Ungai-sama mention that had destroyed a band of raiders pirating innocent villages? Am I wrong to believe that, even injured you stopped a war and any further bloodshed between two nations? Am I wrong in the knowledge that you once fought a war against an invading force that would have terrorized the land, led an army into battle and gained victory, only to fight once again when they returned to make a second attempt? Am I wrong," my voice dropped to nothing more than a whisper, "when I say that you once saved my life from the poison master of the band of seven?"
He didn't give me an answer of course. I sighed. I knew I probably would never have any answers to my questions. Getting answers from him was like pulling teeth, very stubborn teeth with no intention of ever being pulled. It was time to take a different approach.
"I think," I began hesitantly, "that I would like to show you something. You seem interested in the science of this age. I want to show you how far it gotten us, and how wonderful it can be."
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Hi there. HEY! –ducks beneath flying objects- Now that was uncalled for! -ducks beneath something that looks suspiciously like the kitchen sink- It's not my fault that Sesshomaru is such a stiff! I really have a plan of where all of this is going, so I needed to get serious for a bit –braces herself for more flying objects, but when none come she continues- one more chapter and then I'll get back to the experiments ok? –Out of nowhere a ball of green goop flies at her head and douses her in slime-
Sw1: Hey!
Sess: Perhaps, ningen, you should have gotten a degree in English while you were at school for this strange science.
Sw1: -pouts- but I was never any good at English.
Sess: Hn, then why do you insist on writing this story?
Kag: Leave her alone Sess! She's just being creative, ever heard of it? Well I'll tell you. Because this is her story she gets to misuse as many words as she wants because she is allowed something called creative licensing.
Sw1: -sniff- thanks Kags.
Kag: Yup! No problem! Just get to the next chapter soon ok, 'cause I want to know what happens next.
Sw1: Will do! Bye for now.
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters I am about to weave into my web of chaos. Any and all definitions have been taken directly from Wikipedia the online encyclopedia because I am far too lazy to do any further research to support my Inuyasha obsession.
