Chapter 7
Connor didn't sleep well, which was rather unsurprising. His imagination kept drifting- what if Sarah was the one sleeping beside him? Would he be able to touch her? Wrap his hand in her hair? Watch her soft and sweet as she slept? Starting to sound like an obsessive pervert, buddy.
He used to love doing all those things with Robyn, the incredible woman in the bed beside him. Get a grip, Rhodes. Robyn is the woman you wanted. Find that again. Beside him, his alarm sounded and he sighed.
Robyn kept her eyes closed as Connor left the bed. She felt a little guilty at throwing a spanner in Connor's life, but he'd get past this little flirtation. He'd had many distractions after she left, Dr Reese was just the latest. She just had to wait it out. She heard the shower run and decided to make Connor some breakfast. Everything would work out just fine in the end.
Sarah stumbled into the hospital. She felt like shit. She looked like shit. Today was going to be an enormous pile of steaming-
"Dr Reese, good morning." Shit. Sarah turned around.
"Dr Charles, so lovely to see you again. Looking for Connor? The ED is that way." She pointed in the right direction, all politeness, if not pleasant.
"Yes I am, but I was hoping to run into you…" Robyn looked impeccable, Sarah thought idly. God, she wanted to hate her. Just a little.
"Connor told me about the two of you. Not details or anything-" Oh hell no.
"No. I'm sorry to interrupt you Dr Charles, but this is my place of work, and I have a busy double shift that I really need to get to. I am not going to engage with you about Connor. Have a nice day now."
Alright, that felt good. As she turned, Sarah smirked just a little, leaving Robyn surprised in her wake. Yeah, I can be a strong woman.
Sarah spent the morning checking in with her psyc patients on the ward, a therapy session for a long term client.
"So, Kieran, why do you think you yelled at your mother?" The young man fidgeted, pulling on his fingers, eyes darting around the room and unable to make eye contact. Sarah let the silence stretch until it was almost uncomfortable. She maintained her contact, looking at him direct. Her personal life might be a mess, but here in her therapy room, she felt confident and capable.
They continued to discuss, and Sarah walked him out to his brother.
"Dr Reese, can I have a quick word?" Kieran's brother Aiden was handsome, if you liked the suave blond that looked like he belonged on Wall Street. Not really Sarah's thing.
"Thank you for your help, Dr Reese." Kieran mumbled and sat on a waiting room chair.
Sarah indicated a few steps away where they could talk without being overheard.
"How can I help Mr Cochran?" She smiled her pleasant smile.
"This is a bit…awkward I guess. Maybe inappropriate, I was wondering if I could…take you out to dinner? Thank you for your help with my brother?" Despite herself, Sarah was flattered.
"I'm afraid I cannot accept, but thank you." Aiden studied her face, looking for something. He placed his hand on the counter behind her, looking casual. In truth, Sarah was finding the attempt sweetly hilarious.
"What if I said it had nothing to do with my brother? You are extremely attractive and my mother would just love it if I were dating a doctor." God, the mama issues in this family. Sarah shrugged.
"Sorry." Walking away, she failed to notice the intense blue stare of a certain doctor, trying desperately to bury some intense jealousy.
The afternoon was spent in the ED. Sarah had plenty of practise with Dr De Luca. She'd forgotten the rush. She smiled out of joy at a successful, and curable diagnosis. She was feeling great.
"Really great work today, Reese. Keep it up." Sarah smiled at Dr De Luca as she finished up for the night. She sipped at her coffee as she typed up her notes, leaning on Kimmi's counter and chatting to her while they had a quiet few minutes.
"Dr Reese? Have you got a minute?" Sarah turned to look at Connor, while Kimmi looked on in unabashed curiosity. The temptation to tell him to fuck off was incredibly tempting.
"Of course, Dr Rhodes." She followed him to the empty corridor. "What do you need Connor?" She really was feeling so much more zen, even as she ignored the electricity, the urge to stroke his cheek or pull him close. Those feelings will fade. Keep cool, Reese.
"I need to know that we're ok, Sarah. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you all day." Connor's anxiety was written all over his face.
Sarah closed her eyes for a moment and tucked an errant curl behind her ear.
"We will be, Connor, we will be." She patted his arm. "Coffee tomorrow morning? That's something friends do right?" Connor pulled his face into a gaunt attempt at a smile and agreed, watching her walk away.
He was so tempted to ask her about the smooth bastard chatting her up that morning, but that would be the opposite of fair, given he was the asshole in their narrative right now.
And if there was a fist shaped hole in the wall, he would swear up and down that he didn't know how it got there.
This day was so fucking shit.
He drove home, desperately trying not to think about Sarah. He replayed his lunch with Robyn, as awkward as it was to reconnect. He pulled up and wandered upstairs.
"Hey Connor." Oh no. Robyn had clearly put in an effort. A sexy little red number, full face of makeup, heels that might be more appropriate on a stripper. He'd forgotten about this mood of Robyn's- she'd never go out like that, but sometimes she wanted to tease and entice. Nope, can't touch her. Won't. Connor felt the blood drain from his face, vomit from stress rising up his stomach.
Clearly the look on his face said it all as anger crossed Robyn's face and she stormed to the bedroom. Connor grabbed the back of a chair and tried to learn how to breathe again. He followed Robyn to the bedroom, to find it locked. He knocked.
"Robyn, honey, I'm sorry. I just need to move a bit slower. Robyn, open the door baby, let me fix this." Let me fix this so it was worth torpedoing my relationship with Sarah.
Robyn opened the door. Her make up still on, but she'd changed into her favourite sweats.
"Connor, you need to be honest with me. Do you want me? Sex was the one thing-the one thing that was never a problem in our relationship." By the end, she'd started yelling, and Connor couldn't help it, all the anger, the hurt and the jealousy.
"Are you fucking kidding Robyn? You've been here a day. Forgive me for needing a minute to recalibrate and sort out all of my thoughts." Heavy sarcasm dripped from him, not that he was overly proud of it.
"You don't think that I've sacrificed too, Connor? My mom is so sick, and I don't, I don't think she's going to pull through. Instead of being with my parents right now, I'm with you, trying to build something. I've left my goddamn job- a good job, so that I could be with you. All I'm asking for is a little love and affection."
"I'm sorry Robyn, I'm so sorry about your mom, but it's not love you want from me right now, it's gratitude. Gratitude and the stability I give you. You think I don't remember what it feels like to lose a parent? I clung to anyone and everyone that could give me anything that felt stable." Robyn stepped back, as though he'd slapped her. He watched as she crumbled to the floor before his eyes. Suddenly the rage slipped away, replaced by guilt. He sat next to her and folded her into his arms, whispering apologies, stroking her hair as she cried. You fucking asshole, Rhodes.
Sarah was enjoying the night shift. She was eating crap, chatting with the nurses and quizzing herself and the other ED residents on emergency medicine, debating protocols and discussing recent studies. She'd really amazed herself with work- she was thriving despite it being only a month and a bit in. It was an insanely quiet evening, nothing more required than a few stitches here and there, a couple of concussion. Sarah was particularly enjoying her conversation with Kara Knight, a fellow ED resident.
"Eughhh, I'm so done with men Sarah, I literally cannot even." Sarah laughed.
"What did he do? Danny right?"
"Yeah, Danny the dickhead of Dallas. His father made some comment about how living together is fast and loose and I'm that hoity toity putting all sorts of ideas in his head."
"Hoity toity? Seriously?" Sarah couldn't help but dissolve into giggles, Kara joining her.
"Reece, you're up!" Sarah lifted her feet off the console and hopped up.
"What have we got, people?" 30 minutes later, and Sarah was looking at chest scans, the patient temporarily stable. "Do we have a heart surgeon on site tonight? He's going to need surgery sooner rather than later. I do not like the look of this valve." Sarah indicated a valve on the scan.
"Dr Rosen is in surgery. Dr Rhodes is on call." Sarah twirked her head a little and sighed.
"Call Rhodes." Sarah returned to the patient to get the consents she could get in place before the patient passed out.
"What do we have Reece?" Connor strode in, wearing jeans and a shirt. Fuck he looks hot…
Sarah blinked. "I think he's at risk of this valve failing." She showed him the scans. Connor felt her arm brush his and held in a sigh.
"You're right." He turned to the nurse.
"Take him to be prepped and straight to the next available OR. I'm going to change and scrub. Good catch Reese."
"Send me updates please? His family is on the way." Connor nodded and looked at her, as though he wanted to say something. Then he just walked away, leaving Sarah in a suddenly empty treatment room. She looked at the scans on the wall contemplatively.
"Girllllll." Kara leaned on a pillar and flashed an amused grin at Sarah. "Wanna talk about the you and Rhodes thing?" Sarah rolled her eyes and smiled.
"So long as you're not hoity toity about it." A bark of laughter followed as they sat themselves back down. Sarah gave a few small details, they worked together, there was a spark, Connor was back with his ex.
"Bastards right?" Kara gave Sarah a one armed hug and handed her a pack of skittles.
