A/N: I still don't own Xiaolin Showdown, because the executive producer won't sell out.

The next morning, Dojo was busy making the morning tea for Master Fung when his ears picked up the sound of helicopter blades. A few seconds later, something small but heavy crashed through the glass ceiling of the kitchen, landing on his tail. He wriggled his way out from under it, his eyes watering as he tried to massage the pain out of his poor injured tail.

"Who did that?" He groaned as he glared at what had fallen on him. It was a parcel, hastily wrapped and covered with stamps. There was a postcard taped to the front with a crude, poorly-colored picture of a Jack-bot on it. The parcel was made out to 'tha shaolin (sp?) loosers'.

After Dojo summoned Master Fung and the Xiaolin dragons into the room, he bared his claws and cut the package open. Inside was a small purple machine that looked like a really tiny television set. There was a screen and a single knob for adjusting volume.

The machine whirred to life and the screen began flickering. Jack Spicer appeared on the screen. He was picking his nose and staring off at something that wasn't on camera.

"What? It's on?" He was saying. His eyes moved over to the screen and quickly pulled his finger from his nose. "Ahem! This message was paid for by JACK SPICER LTD on behalf of JACK SPICER…"

Wuya floated into shot.

"And Wuya, too, I guess." Jack said, rolling his eyes.

"Anyway, Xiaolin losers, I sent this message to inform you that I'm going to be suing you for all the tea in China!"

"What?" Wuya demanded.

"Oh, and the Shen Gong Wu too." Jack amended quickly.

"He can't do that!" Kimiko said.

"I know what you're thinking," Jack said. "'I can't do that!' But you're wrong! I can do that. You see, I've been consulting with my Lawyer-bots 1.0, 2.0, and 3.0, and they've told me that I can sue you losers for everything you're worth."

One of the Lawyer-bots, a floating humanoid machine wearing a three-piece suit, came floating into the shot next to Wuya. "Enclosed is a subpoena. If you don't show up for the court-date tomorrow, then you forfeit all of your Shen Gong Wu, as well as that nice temple you guys live in."

The Xiaolin dragons were shocked.

"I know you're probably shocked, and maybe even astounded!" Jack snickered, pushing his Lawyer-bot out of the way. "Maybe you should have thought of that before you tried to were so mean to me all because I wanted to take over the world and enslave humanity."

His cackling eventually died down as the scene from Jack Spicer's lair was replaced by a very poor CGI duplicate of a time-bomb.

"This Messenger-bot will self-destruct in 10…9…8…7…" The machine intoned.

Clay quickly lassoed the machine into the air. Kimiko kicked it up through the ceiling, causing it to explode in the sky above the temple.

"I do not understand." Omi said. "Jack Spicer could not possibly take all of our Shen Gong Wu."

"Oh, he's just being stupid." Kimiko said. "It probably doesn't even matter."

"On the contrary," Master Fung said softly. "Jack Spicer has figured out how to harness an evil so great that it almost surpasses even Wuya. An evil…known as the frivolous suit system."

"Huh?" Clay murmured.

"If he succeeds in his plans," Master Fung continued. "He may yet steal away all of our Shen Gong Wu. You have to stop him." He rose to his feet. "I will go and consult with the elder monks."

"I know just how to stop him." Raimundo said. "We go to his house and smash all his stuff."

"That could work." Omi commented. "But since I am the leader and you are the last person to become a Xiaolin apprentice, we will have to use a slightly better plan of my devising."

While Raimundo choked on his own annoyance, Omi turned to Kimiko and Clay. "What do you think we should do, friend Kimiko and friend Clay?"

"Nothing." Clay said. "We don't have to play Spicer's game."

"I agree." Kimiko added.

"Then it is settled. We will…do nothing." Omi said.

The monks got up and left Dojo alone in the kitchen. As soon as Clay shut the door, a strange noise began to come from the parcel. Dojo peered close at it only to see a strange metallic creature hiding inside it. The creature, which was a machine supported on 8 spindly legs, hurried out from underneath the parcel and sprayed Dojo with a purple mist. Before he could react, his vision went blurry and he slumped forward, unconscious.

Clay pushed open the door and peered inside. "Dojo? How's it going with that tea?"

The robot spider unobtrusively lifted one of Dojo's arms and changed its voice to sound like the dragon's. "Oh, it's almost done. Could you please go away and not come back for ten minutes or so?"

The dragon of the earth blinked. "But why--," He began.

"Go away! Do it now!" The spider snapped, its voice cracking.

"But--,"

"Now!"

Clay shrugged and closed the door. "What a Dojo…" He muttered.

The spider turned on Dojo, further immobilizing him with a sticky spider web. It then tugged on a strand dangling next to Dojo's tail and slowly dragged the diminutive dragon away from the temple and into the custody of Jack Spicer, evil boy genius.