Chapter 13
Connor felt ridiculously vulnerable. Dr Julian had made a special trip to the hospital, where he was still curled up on the trauma bay with Sarah. He had retold his story, Sarah giving him words and strength when he needed it, her fingers gently massaging his scalp, his neck, wherever she could think of to help him through.
After receiving prescriptions for PTSD and anxiety, Connor fell asleep again, emotionally and mentally exhausted. Dr Julian indicated that Sarah should follow. Sarah gently detangled herself and followed the uber professional shrink.
"So, Dr Reese. Connor is going to need a substantial amount of therapy- which I'm sure you would agree." Sarah nodded.
"I think he knows that too, and I am so pleased he has you with him, looking out for his mental wellbeing. It's my recommendation that, even with medication and therapy, he needs to try and avoid similar situations. Honestly, if I thought it would make a difference I'd try and get him to take time off." Sarah laughed ruefully.
"I was amazed you got him to the facility earlier in the year, but I don't think you'll tear him away from the OR again." Dr Julian smiled in camaraderie.
"I'll let you get back to him." Dr Julian squeezed Sarah's arm and left.
"How is our boy doing, Reese?" Dr Milton snuck up behind her and whispered.
"He's going to be ok, he just needs some time. This was a good start."
"Can he…be here?" Sarah glanced at him, but saw only a deep concern.
"I don't think he knew he had that trigger. He may need to avoid attempted suicides for now, but he'll get there."
"Ok. See you in the morning for your shift." Sarah nodded and woke Connor up to take him home.
"It's been a week since the episode. How are you feeling Connor?" Dr Julian crossed her legs, portraying a relaxed persona. Despite this, Connor could almost sense her intensity.
"I'm ok. No panic attacks, no repeats. Is it possible that I won't have anymore episodes like that?"
Dr Julian shrugged.
"It certainly could be. Some people with PTSD rarely encounter an episode like that. Sometimes they're regular. The strategy though is to understand what triggered you."
"Well, the case was almost identical to what happened with Ava. The shock of it sent me into a tailspin. So what do I do about that?"
"We talk about it, over and over until it has no power over you." Connor pulled a face, and began recounting that awful day over and over, until the pain began to yield.
Then he went back the next week and did it all over again. And again. And again. Until the pain was a distant memory.
"Dr Julian has suggested I get in touch with Claire." Sarah's hands paused as she cooked dinner. She put down the knife and turned to face Connor. They'd been together for 8 months now and this was the first time he'd mentioned Claire.
"What do you think?" Sarah's tone was calm and measured, her eyes the port in his storm. It was amazing however instantly relaxed he felt when he looked into her chocolate coloured eyes.
"I think I'm…concerned." Sarah's mouth twitched.
"Scared." She gently corrected.
"Empathic." He changed course.
"Worried about what she might say." Sarah countered. Connor came around the counter and folded Sarah into his arms.
"Yeah." He muttered against her hair. Sarah gently detangled herself and handed him his phone.
"Call her, even if it goes to shit. You need it." Connor nodded and watched for a moment as Sarah continued cooking dinner. She threw a look over her shoulder that clearly told him to get on it. He smiled at her and picked up the phone.
"Hi, Claire, it's Connor."
"Yeah, I know it's been a long time, too long. I'm sorry."
"I…well I'm doing better now, it's been a bit rough."
"I missed you too."
Sarah smiled as she eavesdropped on Connor's awkward side of the conversation. Why he couldn't be as smooth with his sister as he was with everyone else, she didn't know. She began to zone out and revised different trauma protocols and imaginary patients in her head as she finished cooking.
Over dinner they discussed the conversation, and Sarah could hear the hope in Connor's voice. He was almost entirely back to his old self. Sometimes he had nightmares, but he hadn't had another episode in the intervening time. Sarah smiled and wondered whether he'd like her little surprise.
"Connor…" Sarah breathed as Connor manipulated her breasts that night, drawing maximum pleasure.
"Mmmmm?" He glance up at her, his eyes clouded with lust, with need.
"I started birth control three days ago…" They also both had their annual screening checks, required before they gave blood as hospital employees. Connor's eyes fluttered closed and she felt a shuddering breath blow over her breasts, tightening her nipples. Connor's hands closed over her wrists, pinning her down as he moved upwards, his legs spreading hers.
"Are you sure, you bad, bad girl? Tempting me with your delicious pussy? You want me to slide my hard cock inside you? Lose myself inside you? Come inside you?" Sarah moaned as he whispered every naughty thought she herself had. She opened her eyes, staring deep into his bright, cerulean pair.
"Yes…" she hissed as Connor eased himself into her, entering her for the first time with nothing between them. Their hearts raced in tandem and Connor thrusted in and out, Sarah's hips meeting him half way. Sex had just never been this good.
Connor's entire focus was on the woman beneath him, this woman that he loved more than anyone he'd ever loved before. The feel of her pussy tightening around him, the silk of her inner walls, was intoxicating.
"You don't need to be so gentle…" Connor thought Sarah's whispers might drive him mad as he lost all semblance of control and fucked her the way she yearned to be fucked.
He tightened his grip on her wrists and kissed her roughly, biting her bottom lip until it was deliciously swollen. He thrust harder and faster, Sarah's legs locked behind his ass. He was enraptured, captured in her scent, her screams, her pussy.
There was no where he could hold out, they came together, screaming over and over in completion.
Later, after catching their breath, Sarah curled at Connor's side with his arm around her, they enjoyed their afterglow.
"There's something we need to discuss, Sarah."
"Mmmm?"
"Yes, sleepyhead, we need to talk about sex." He could almost feel Sarah blush as she burrowed further into his side.
"C'mon baby, there's nothing to be embarrassed about, you innocent little flower." Within seconds, he had Sarah on her back again, looking deep into her eyes.
"Fine! What do you want to talk about? I like our sex life…"
"I love our sex life, but I would like to know what your limits are. You took me by surprise earlier, usually deciding to get rid of condoms is a joint decision." Sarah's eyebrows furrowed in anxiety and her body wriggled. Connor groaned as she brushed what he thought was his exhausted cock. The twitch said otherwise.
"Did I-"
"No, Sarah. Telling me in the middle of sex was such a fucking turn on. If it wasn't ok, I would have stopped and asked to talk about it then and there. But I need to make sure we're both on the same page, that you're prepared to stop what we're doing if I push you too far." Her head cocked as she considered him. She flexed her wrists a little, and Connor took the hint to let go, settling his elbows by her waist.
"This is sounding a little bit 50 Shades, Connor." Connor kissed her on the nose and laughed.
"S and M isn't usually my scene, but if you wanna try spreader bars and vibrating eggs and…oh what else is in the book? Oh, one I do want to try…anal." His eyes sparkled with mischief as Sarah blushed and wiggled beneath him again.
"Oh, my little girlfriend has a wild side, don't you, sexy? You want to play, baby?"
"You're so filthy, Connor…"
"Only with you my love, because I can see how it turns you on. You have a little fetish for dirty talk, baby. And I fucking love it." He kissed her neck, suckling a little on her collarbone. Sarah moaned quietly, thrusting her hips up against him. "Tell you what, baby, write down all of the naughty things you've heard of…that you fantasise about…that you dream about… I'll make every single one of them come true." Sarah nodded as her hand fell between them, teasing his cock back to hardness.
"I want to suck your cock, Connor." Fuck. She was going to be the death of him.
The next morning, Sarah was gone for her early shift, and Connor woke up to a note on her pillow.
Being tied up.
Gentle hair pulling.
In an on call room.
In a dark alley in the middle of the night.
Spanking.
Anal.
Being called a good girl. Or a bad girl.
Roleplay… anything.
Breath play.
Connor's eye brow rose on the last thing on Sarah's dirty bucket list. That was…a tricky one. You had to choose your partner bloody carefully, not use any props. He could do it though. Just carefully, build up to it. He smiled. He was going to enjoy doing all of those filthy things to her. In fact... he thought they could cross one off tonight.
Author's Note: Let me know what you wanna read next… More smut, less smut, what kind of smut…
Bex x
