Disclaimer – The site is called fanfiction hence I do not own anything but new stuff
Author's notes – Look I am back with more fanfiction for you!
Date chapter started: Thursday, January 13, 2005
Date chapter ended: Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Date story updated: Saturday, January 29, 2005
You snore at night. That really bothers me. Can I take you out?
Sam from Life As A House
Chapter 4 – Revenge at a young age
James woke up and looked at the clock next to him to find that he had been asleep for about an hour. He immediately felt his face to make sure there was no longer a beard present. When he couldn't feel one, he grabbed the mirror just to be positive that he was back to normal. Everything looked as it should so James put the mirror away.
James looked over and saw that Remus had left; Remus had brought him chocolate frogs and Sirius was snoring soundly in the white chair next to his bed. There was no trace that Lily had come back.
"Mr. Potter, I see that you are awake," Madam Rosemary said as she came over to his bed.
James just nodded his head dumbly.
"Drink this, it will help you wake up. How do you feel?" she said as she handed him a green drink that smelled somewhat like bananas.
"Better," James said and then quickly chugged down the potion, which tasted quite disgusting.
"Dumbledore told me that you should just relax for the rest of the day and not go to the rest of classes. Mr. Black here has refused to leave so he is joining Miss Evans this week in detention with me. Miss Evans also scored herself with another weeks detention with me for taking things from potions class and for using an aging potion on another student," Madam Rosemary said and gave a small chuckle before she told James that he could leave now.
James got off of the cot and tapped Sirius on the shoulder.
"Bitch, don't touch me!" Sirius screamed and then opened his eyes and clasped a hand over his mouth. "What did I just yell?"
James laughed at his friend. "Just shut up and let's go. I hear you are serving detention with Lily," James sniggered.
"Yeah we can spend our hours making out it the herb store room," Sirius said grinning until James slapped him.
"Ok, ok I will keep my sexy bod off Evans," Sirius said as he stood up.
"Come on," James said as the two left the infirmary.
"Yes, it is time to plan some revenge and for once it is not on Snivelous," Sirius sniggered just as they exited the room through the double doors.
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Lily was sitting comfortably in charms. She was glad to finally be rid of James for at least a little while and to top things off she even got to have charms when he was gone; charms was her best subject, the only thing she could beat James at.
Lily figured that James would still be in the hospital making sure that he was back to normal for at least a couple of hours. Little did she know that James had just left the infirmary and was going through her stuff this very second. Lily just sat there, relaxed, and trying to enjoy herself. She was in for real surprise.
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James and Sirius made their way down the corridor towards Gryffindor tower with devious, schoolboy grins on their faces. They soon came upon the fat lady's portrait.
"What are you doing, Potter? Black?" the fat lady demanded.
"I didn't feel well; Madame Rosemary told me to rest," James answered.
"A likely story," scoffed the fat lady. "Password?" she inquired.
"Dragon egg," Sirius answered simply and the fat lady swung open revealing the empty Gryffindor common room.
James and Sirius made their way into the room and headed towards the girl's dormitories, Lily's dormitory to be exact. The arrived at the bottom of the stairs and were already quite aware of how they weren't able to get up the stairs without falling back to the ground on their sorry faces.
They both pondered possibilities for a couple seconds when Sirius started grinning, "I have a got it."
"And?" James asked, urging Sirius to continue.
"We just turn ourselves into girls," Sirius said grinning.
"Brilliant idiot, how do we do that?" James said, dismissing the idea.
"Oh, yeah," Sirius replied dully and then continued to ponder.
"I have it," James said after a few minutes of silence. "We can levitate ourselves."
They shared triumphant grins and quickly pulled out their wands. They levitated themselves and floated weightlessly up to the top of the stairs. Once they were safely back on solid ground they put their wands away.
"Now for what the marauders do best," Sirius said as he rubbed his hands together, eagerly, in anticipation.
Sirius and James made their way over to the dorm they knew belonged to Lily. The door was already open so they just walked right in. The room looked just like any other girl's dormitory; it had the three beds that belonged to Lily, Sophia and Eva. The girl's trunks and belongings were spread out all over the room in an orderly fashion. They had each of their beds made and pictures of their families and themselves in frames on desks or hung on the wall.
When the picture of Lily on the wall saw James and Sirius in the girl's dorm she started going crazy, "Potter! Black! What is Merlin's bloody name are you doing here?"
"Will someone shut that bloody thing up?" Sirius asked.
"Do not tell me to shut up you bigheaded git. Get out of my dormitory!" the picture continued to shout until Sirius took a piece of parchment and covered the picture. The picture continued to make muffled noises, but eventually calmed down.
"Ahh piece and quiet once again," Sirius said.
James sniggered and they both went over to the trunk that had the words Lily Marie Evans carved into its polished, oak lid.
"Here we are," James said mischievously.
They opened the trunk and took out all her school uniform shirts. They quickly conjured up a quill and some invisible fabric ink. They put a charm on the ink to make it appear when it came in contact with a certain stimulus that the two boys had decided to make James. They wrote I love Potter on all the shirts and then quickly folded them back to their original state with magic and put them back in the trunk, where they had been only moments before.
"That should do nicely for a start," James said as he placed the last shirt in. The two boys still had a few tricks up their sleeves, but there was a time and place for everything.
Sirius sniggered in reply as the boys stood up and walked out of the room. They went over to the stairs and stepped onto the first step causing it to turn into a slide that then graciously slid down.
They walked over to one of the couches by the fire and sat down, helping themselves to some Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans. After they had been sitting down for only a short period, a grey cat jumped onto the couch and then onto James' lap and started purring, satisfied, as James inattentively petted him.
"Who's is that?" Sirius asked, pointing at the cat.
"I have no idea; this is the first time I have ever seen him," James said and continued to pet the cat.
James and Sirius just sat there in a content silence for a couple of minutes until Sirius started to get bored.
"Lets do something interesting," Sirius said, his eyes gleaming.
"Fine what would you like to do?" James said as he looked up from the cat.
The cat flicked its tail back and forth until Sirius reached over and pulling on the cat's tail and said, "Ding dong."
The cat immediately dug his claws into James' lap and started hissing uncontrollably at Sirius. Sirius jumped back, completely freaked out. The cat then leapt from James onto Sirius and scratched Sirius on his right cheek with one claw. The cat hissed one more time and then leapt to the ground. He sauntered off with what looked like a smile, if cats could smile.
"Ouch!" Sirius screaming. James was screaming as well for the cat had dug its claws into him pretty hard.
"You jackass!" James yelled at his best mate. "Don't ever touch a cat again when I am holding it."
"I was just trying to have a little fun," Sirius insisted.
"Now we have to go back to the infirmary to get these scratches cleaning you twit," James complained.
The two boys got up and walked out of the common room and towards the infirmary after the fat lady laughed at them.
"Stupid, bloody portrait of the fat lady," Sirius growled as they continued on down the hallway.
Just as Sirius and James made it to the fourth floor, the end of class bell rang and people began to file out of their classes. Remus, Chloe and Lily all bumped into James and Sirius because they were having some deep conversation as usual.
"Hey watch where you are going; we are in pain," Sirius growled at them.
The stopped and all started laughing at them.
"What happened to you?" Chloe asked through giggles.
"We got attacked by this stupid gray cat," James said.
Lily stopped laughing and looked like she was ready to explode.
"Did I say something wrong?" James asked, worried.
"That and I quote stupid gray cat unquote is mine thank you very much you raving git," Lily snapped, looking like she was a poisonous snake ready to attack at any second.
"Woops," Sirius said and James and he (A/N – I know that James and he sounds like it is incorrect, but I actually decided to pay attention in English and I learned that James and he is actually the correct way to write it) ran off down the hall before they got their butts kicked by an angry girl with flaming red hair.
"Serves them right," Lily sniggered.
Remus and Chloe laughed as well and the three continued on to their next class, which was Defense Against the Dark Arts.
James and Sirius ran down the hallway and then started their climb up the stairs to the infirmary.
"That was close," Sirius said as he laughed a little bit.
"Did you see the look on her face?" James sniggered.
"That was quite a scene," Sirius sniggered as well.
"I am surprised she hasn't killed someone yet with that temper of hers," James said.
"She probably has," Sirius joked.
The boys soon arrived at the infirmary and were greeted by Madam Rosemary who looked at them with annoyance.
"What is it this time?" She simply asked.
"We got attacked by a cat," James and Sirius said in unison.
Madam Rosemary started laughing at the two boys and their cheeks turned bright red.
"The cat was very dangerous," Sirius said, trying to protect his pride.
"Enough, let me clean out those cuts and then I can send you on your way," Madam Rosemary said as she went over to a shelf and looked around on it for a jar. She selected a jar with white goop in it and brought it over to the two boys. She smeared some on the scratch on Sirius's face and then turned to James. "Where were you scratched?" she demanded.
"On my thighs," James said, blushing again.
"Well take off your pants boy so I can put the cream on," Madam Rosemary ordered, impatiently.
James obediently slipped off his pants while Madam Rosemary bent down and rubbed the cream on his many scratches.
"That should do," she said, as she put the lid back on the jar. "Do not get those areas wet for another six hours, boys," she informed them and then sent them on their way after James had pulled his pants back on. (A/N – and yes he was wearing boxers. Lol.)
James and Sirius trudged out of the infirmary and headed off down the hall. At this moment they should be in Defense Against the Dark Arts with their fellow Gryffindor, but they decided to head off to Hogsmeade to celebrate their torment of Evans.
They first headed to Gryffindor tower and gathered up James' cloak and the map. They didn't bother using it right now because James was told that he didn't have to go to class anyway. They made their way down to the closest entrance into Hogsmeade. They turned the corner of the hallway and were greeted by someone's butt sticking up in the air by the secret Hogsmeade entrance. The person was obviously snooping and James and Sirius were about to make them pay and keep their eyes where they belonged when the person stood up and turned around.
A familiar ugly faced started at them a snarled, "Potter. Black."
"Hello Snivelous," Sirius cooed sarcastically.
"I see that we have some problems we need to deal with then, don't we Padfoot," James said as he pulled out his wand.
Sirius quickly pulled out his wand also. James dropped the cloak and the map wrapped in it onto the floor. The two boys advanced on Snape who now had drawn out his wand as well.
Sirius quickly relieved Snape of his wand, while James levitated Snape off the ground. James then knocked Snape against the wall.
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(Lets go back a little while and see what is going on with Lily)
Lily had been sitting in class and was feeling quite good because she hadn't gotten in trouble in Charms and so far in DADA she was still on Professor Smith's good side.
Lily also realized that she really had to go pee. She raised her hand, politely.
"Yes Miss Evans?" asked Professor Smith as he noticed Lily's hand.
"May I please use the loo?" Lily asked.
"Be quick," he said and continued on with the lesson.
Lily got out of her chair and left the classroom. She made her way down the corridor that lead to the closest girl's loo and was about to take the right turn towards it when she heard a pretty loud thud coming from the left turn. She decided it was her duty to investigate.
Lily walked towards the sound and turned a corner to find James and Sirius wands in hand and another wand in Sirius' hand. Across from them was a defenseless Snape trying to stand up after what looked like being slammed against a wall and then dropped.
"Potter. Black. Snape," Lily said clearly, her voice had a dangerous edge to it.
James and Sirius turned to find Lily and Snape just looked over at her, his lower lip quivering in rage.
"What is going on here?" she demanded as she motioned towards Snape.
"We were just having a little fun my Lily flower," James said, giving her a puppy dog voice and acting like she had just taken away all his Christmas presents.
"I will show you fun," she spit out venomously and then disarmed James and Sirius, catching all three wands in one hand.
Sirius whistled in admiration.
"I will take you two to McGonagall; she will surely have something to amuse you with," Lily said, giving them the most evil grin they had ever seen. "First we must escort Mister Severous here to the infirmary."
"I am not helping him," Sirius said, glaring over at the lump on the floor that was still seething with rage.
"Good because I don't need your help, Black. Just be happy that mudblood Evans could save you this time," Snape said and let out an extremely demented laugh.
James lunged at Snape wrapped his hands around Snape's neck.
"Take it back," he threatened.
"You can kiss my white ass," Snape said and spit into James' face.
James pulled Snape up off the floor and pinned him against the wall so that his feet weren't touching the floor.
"I said take it back," he repeated even more dangerously than before.
This time even Snape looked to be a bit afraid of what James would do to him so he didn't respond; wrong answer.
James punched him right in the face and you could hear bone crunch as his fist collided with Snape's crooked nose. Blood began to run down Snape's face; he fainted, falling to the ground as James removed his hands in disgust.
"Potter," Lily screeched.
James turned around to see Lily so red that she resembled a balloon ready to pop.
"You had no right to do that," She growled.
Sirius just stayed quiet and let them fight it out.
"He had no right to call you a…a…a you know what," James said as he sat down and wiped his bloody hand off on Snape's already bloody robes, once he found a clean patch.
"I cannot stand you. I cannot believe I agreed to this," Lily yelled, not even realizing that she was talking about the mission in front of James Potter and Sirius Black who were two of the targets. "I give up!" she shouted to one unparticular. "It is over!" she shouted, now her comments directed towards James. "Don't even think to try and talk to me." And with that Lily turned on her heels and walked down the halls, leaving James and Sirius with open mouths and Snape to deal with.
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Author's note – I hope you enjoyed that. Review thanks:
Lilred-07 – I am very glad that you like this story. I have having a lot of fun writing it so it is good to hear that people like it! Sorry that it had taken me so long to update, but I had midterms and all that stuff. I had my last one today though!
Brilover – Yeah I know she is being mean, but it is just so fun to write heinous bitch Lily. Don't worry she will lighten up soon.
Omega-I – Yeah I probably should see if anyone wants to be my beta because I am ok with editing, but not perfect. I usually only reread my story once so I guess I will take your advice and get a beta. I am glad you liked that story, though. :)
Blink182Rox – Lol, don't worry, I don't mind. I hope this update was soon enough. I wanted to get it finished and updated soon, but midterms made everything hectic.
RainPoet – I am glad that you like the story and I am very honored that you would give me an 8!
RainPoet – Lol, I am glad that I could raise my story rating. I am glad that you think it is funny because comedy is just the greatest. I hope I continue to be good at this.
Soft N' fluffy – Your review had me laughing so hard. I wonder if that is actually true for some people; I play with fire and I don't wet the bed (thank god). Lol. I just meant that like you can get hurt and it is all dangerous and stuff but I changed the summary to something different so I guess that doesn't matter anymore.
-The oh so psycho one
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