Story title: Ron's Afro
Chapter title: S.T.Y.L.E.
Date posted: Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Rating: PG13
A/N: OMG! I can't believe it! I forgot the disclaimer!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything in Harry Potter. I don't own the afro either. However, I do own Nick and S.T.Y.L.E. Magazine. At least I think I do…
A/N: Oh, and thanks for reviewing, Silver Ice. He doesn't have an afro yet, but he will. All I good time. Mwa Ha Ha!
Mrs. Weasley led Ron into the strangest room he had ever seen. Middle-aged women sat in strange chairs all around the room. Some had weird things on their heads, while others just sat there while men with short, bleach blonde hair used weird devices on the women's heads. What was this evil place? The head-quarters of a brain-washing cult, perhaps?
"Mum, where the bloody hell are we?" asked Ron in a shaky voice.
Mrs. Weasley took a deep breath. "Well, Ronald, we are here to see a special kind of muggle doctor. You know, for your problem."
"But, Mum! Why can't you just-"
"Ronald, not even the strongest spell in the wizarding world could help your hair."
It was then that Ron noticed one of the strange men walking towards them.
"Konnichiwa! You must be my 2 o'clock! My name is Nick. Right this way." The man spoke in a cheerful voice. Ron suddenly got very nervous, for he realized that Nick was gay.
"Rest your rump here, sweetie!" exclaimed Nick, motioning towards one of the strange chairs.
Ron hesitantly sat down. "I am a guy, you know…" he said awkwardly. He didn't like being called 'sweetie' very much.
"Oh I know THAT, you silly mongoose! I think your mother said your name was Ralph… I once had a cat named Ralphie! Isn't that such a cute name? Unfortunately, about two years ago… he… he got ran over by a mean old truck!" At this, Nick burst into tears. Ron was starting to get really nervous about this whole thing. But quite suddenly, Nick stopped crying and smiled. "Oh well! Enough about the past! Let's get back to that mess that is your hair!"
Nick ran his hands through Ron's tangled mane. "My GOD! Sweetie, what have you done to your hair?"
"Uh…" Ron began nervously, "I've been trying out different hair styles over the past few years. You see, I never have found a style that really 'describes' me. I want a hair style that shows that despite all of the disappointment I have suffered through, I still manage to keep a positive attitude and how I really am a cool person deep down inside. And so, at first I tried a Beatles hair cut, but it made me look like a dork. So then, I tried having shoulder-length hair, but it made me look like a girl, so then I tried having short hair, like my friend, Harry, but it made me look gay, and well, it was really weird, so-"
"What's wrong with being gay?" snapped Nick.
"N-nothing! I'm sorry… I didn't mean it like that… Anyway, after that, I tried my hair like my friend Hermione's, but it got out of control, and so here I am."
Nick sighed. "Here. Look through S.T.Y.L.E. magazine and tell me if you see anything you like… Are you sure you don't want to be gay? I think that you would make a good gay guy! That hair style is just SO 'you,' sweetie."
"Uh… No thanks…"
After looking at several different styles, Ron saw one that he thought was perfect. Unshed tears filled his eyes. "Finally! After all these years! I found it!" The tears poured down Ron's face. He smiled gleefully and pointed it out to Nick.
"Oh, honey! Pah-lease don't tell me you want that one. It's hideous! In fact, it's so ugly that it's FUGLY!"
Ron frowned. I think it really describes me. Plus, it's sooo cool!"
"Yeah… If only the 1970's didn't end thirty years ago." Nick muttered under his breath. "Oh well. It's your hair, kiddo."
Ron never thought that he could be SO bored. It took at least an hour for Nick to finish Ron's hair. The worst part was that while Nick was making Ron's hair funky-fresh, he talked. And talked. And TALKED! Ron didn't know that someone could talk for SO LONG about nothing! Geez! This guy was more boring than an empty jar of pickles! Oh well. At least it was finally over. Plus, now Ron had an awesome new style!
Ron walked up to his mom and said, "All right, Mum, I'm ready to go."
Mrs. Weasley looked up from the magazine she was reading and screamed.
"RONALD WEASLEY! WHAT IS THAT THING ON YOUR HEAD?"
"Chill out, Mum, it's just my 'fro."
"YOUR WHAT?"
"My afro. A-F-R-O. Isn't it far-out?"
Mrs. Weasley fainted.
