Story Title: Ron's Afro

Chapter Title: The Madness of Harry

Date Posted: Wednesday, August 9, 2006

Rating: PG13

A/N: Sorry for being lazy again. I really need to update more often. I'll try to. This time I really will.

Finally, the Hogwarts Express reached its destination. Ron happily stepped out and headed for the seemingly horseless carriages. Ron didn't notice all of the people laughing, pointing, and staring incredulously at him. He probably thought that they were admiring him or something. The poor deluded, fool.

Anyway, when they walked into the great hall, they noticed a strange man sitting at the staff table. The man stood up and put his hand out to signal the students to quiet down.

However, since they were nothing but ungrateful, sassy, hormonally-challenged teenagers, they paid him no attention. He got angry very quickly and shouted, "SHUT-UP YOU LITTLE UNGRATEFUL, SASSY, HORMONALLY-CHALLENGED TEENAGERS!"

They all stopped talking immediately. Apparently, most of them didn't like being referred to as ungrateful, sassy, hormonally-challenged teenagers.

"Thank you," said the man. "Now, I'm sure that many of you are wondering who the heck I am. Well, I'm your new dictator-er I mean, I'm your new Headmaster." The students noticed that he had a Texas drawl. "My name is Bob. So you can call me, Professor Bob. I'm sure that we'll get along very nicely. Anyway, let the siesta began!" he said happily.

McGonagall leaned over to him and whispered. "Do you realize that you just said, 'let the nap begin?"

Bob laughed. "You are so funny! I'll have you know that I speak perfect French." McGonagall sighed wearily.

Hermione gaped at Bob. Ron and Harry started eating like mad little grease-covered pigs in a wheelbarrow filled with cheese.

Hermione looked at them. "You do realize that our new headmaster is a complete idiot, don't you?"

Harry stopped eating abruptly. "Don't you dare call Dumbledore an idiot. If you do, I'll kill you." He said darkly.

"Uh, Harry? Dumbledore's dead," said Ron.

"What do you mean by that?" Harry snapped. "He's right there!" Harry pointed to Bob.

Hermione sighed. She leaned towards Ron and whispered, "Ever since the whole Voldermort thing, he's been as nutty as a fruitcake. He thinks that Dumbledore is still the headmaster and that Darth Vader is his father."

"What?" asked Ron, confused.

"Never mind," said Hermione. "Look, all you need to know is that Harry has gone crazy and that he is very sensitive right now. One wrong word and he'll snap and become hostile. So keep calm around him and try not to set him off."

Suddenly, Hermione started giggling. "I'm sorry Ron, I just can't have a serious talk with you when your wearing that ridiculous thing on your head!" she laughed.

Ron glared at her.

Later that Night

Ron and Harry were in their dorm with Seamus and Dean. Seamus and Dean were laughing their heads off.

"Ron, that afro is hilarious!" laughed Dean.

"Yeah, I don't think that I've ever seen something so funny in my entire life!" giggled Seamus.

Ron glared. "Look, I'll have you know that this is the coolest hairstyle I've ever had! Everybody admires me and treats me like the funky-fresh man that I am. Also, this thing is MAGIC!"

"Yeah, it is magic how it can make someone look so weird." Dean muttered. Seamus stared at him incredulously. "That was a really lame joke." He whispered to Dean. Dean scowled.

"Besides," continued Ron, "The ladies really dig it."

"Yeah," laughed Seamus. "When the ladies see you, they take a shovel and dig all the way to China to get away!"

Dean suddenly got very angry. "And you think that my joke was lame! That was the lamest pun I've ever heard! You bastard! How dare you! Come here! I'm going to beat you until we both get better at telling jokes!" Dean lunged at Seamus.

"Uh, Dean, you're scaring me! Stop! Noooo!" screamed Seamus as Dean beat him up.

"What the hell was that about?" asked Ron, who was deeply confuzzled.

Ron looked at Harry, who was hugging his knees and mumbling. "The tooth fairy is coming, tonight! She's coming to reap her horrible vengeance on me! Ahh! I've got to escape. Yes, I'll get my father to use the force to defeat her! Yeessss… Hahaha!"

Ron shook his head. Harry really has gone crazy. He thought.

Suddenly, Ron realized that his afro pick was missing! "Oh my god! Where is it?" he panicked.

Ron shook Harry's shoulders. "What did you do with my afro pick! He yelled."

Harry looked at him sadly. "I didn't want to be the one to tell you this, but your flashlight is out of batteries."

"What?" asked Ron. "What the hell does that have to do with ANYTHING? I don't even know what flashlights or batteries are!"

Harry gasped. "Oops. Wrong bad news! I meant to say that your afro pick is in a coma. I'm sorry. There's nothing that I can do."

Ron stared at Harry incredulously. "Uh, never mind, Harry. I'll find it tomorrow. Goodnight."

"Nighty-night, Colonel Mustard," said Harry happily.

"What?"

Ron wondered why Harry was acting so crazy right now, when he had been fine earlier.

The truth was that every morning, Harry takes crazy pills to keep him sane. However, as the day goes on, Harry gets weirder and weirder. But let's show him some sympathy. After all, who hasn't called their best friend 'Colonel Mustard' by mistake, or thought that Darth Vader was their dad? I know I have. So, let's not be to hasty when we judge Harry. War has made him like this. It's not his fault.

Anyway, about Ron's afro pick. For those of you that don't know, it's that little comb that sticks out of people's afros. When Ron gets up the next morning, he shall discover that it had fallen off his bed and that it is comfortably resting on the ground near the place where he put his shoes, all ready for the next day.