Story title: Ron's Afro

Chapter title: Casanova

Date posted: Saturday, September 23, 2006

Rating: PG13 (or T)

A/N: Hey guys. Sorry, I know it's been a while, but I have major writer's block. I mean, I have ideas, but they would come later in the story, so yeah… Anyways, thanks to:

Hazel Maraa: Thanks! Sorry, I'm just a little stupid. I didn't realize it was a fic.

SockMonkey101: Aw! Thanks, Laura! You are just SO sweet! You're my favorite cousin, you know. Love ya!

RoxasxNamine4ever: Thanks! I'm glad you like it so much!

Raquel: I enjoyed your review. Peace, home maker!

tinavel: Glad you thought it was funny! Sorry that you almost fell off your chair.

Silver Ice: Thanks! Yeah, it would be terrible to live in the seventies. That was a fashion nightmare!

Lupin's Furry Little Problem: I thought it was funny too, but Seamus sure thought it was lame! Anyway, glad you thought it was funny! I thought it was. Yep, awesome possum does rhyme! I got that phrase from my friend, Jordan!

By the way, to those of you that don't know (which is probably all of you), Casanova is like a pimp, a guy that gets all the girls.

ON WITH THE STORY! XD

"Hubba hubba, bunny-babe. I wanna go to score-city, and I want you to go with. You copy, foxy-mama?"

"Ron, what are you talking about?"

Ron sighed. "Aw! Come on, babe! Don't be such a fruit! Do me a solid, and let's go to freak-city, baby."

Hermione stared incredulously at Ron. "I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Why do you have to be so Gag-Me-With-A-Spoon? Don't you want to come chillaxin with me at my pad?"

"RON, JUST TALK LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!"

"Whoa! Don't have a cow; I can see you're a little freaky-deaky today. Why don't you just chill for now, and I'll come by l-izz-ater. Is that cool, babe?"

"What?"

"Catch you on the flip-side, babe. Fo-shizzle."

Hermione massaged her temples. "He hasn't made sense for days! I have no idea what he's saying! I miss the old Ron! Oh well, this is probably just a phase. Yeah, a phase. I'll go lie down."

Meanwhile

Ron walked up to his dorm. He took out his Seventies Slang Book and started reading the section entitled, "Quoting Star Wars."

Harry came up. "Hey Ron, what's up?"

Ron sighed. "Well… Okay, here's the skinny. I was having a confab with Hermione, and being all coolio Casanova, and she was being square to the max, so I split, and now I'll never go to score-city, and I'm out to lunch! 10-4, good buddy?" He looked at Harry hopefully.

"I'll be honest with you. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!"

"Dammit, Harry! Don't be so bogue! The force is definitely not with you!"

Harry sighed. What's the point of arguing with him? I won't understand what he tells me. I might as well apologize.

"I'm sorry, Ron."

Ron stopped. "Yeah… I'm just a bit clamed up at what went down in my confab with that bunny, Hermione. Give me some skin, Harry!"

Harry looked appalled. "I will not give you some of my skin!"

"Bummer. You always gonna leave me hangin' like that? You trying to burn me? I think I'm just going to go to sleep-city. May the force be with you, and good-night, Johnny-boy."

"MY NAME ISN'T JOHNNY, GOD DAMMIT!"

The next day

Ron was currently in Charms. It had been an average day. Well, as average as you can get when you have a large red afro. Professor Flitwick asked them to copy the notes on the board. Dean, who was currently seated behind Ron, spoke.

"But, Professor! I can't see the board! All I can see is Ron's huge red afro!"

"Yo, brother, don't' be hatin'!" said Ron, turning around to glare at Dean.

"Oh, and can you please make him stop TALKING LIKE A JACKASS?"

"YO! NOT COOL! ESPECIALLY WHEN YO MAMA IS SO STUPID THAT WHEN YO DADDY SAID IT WAS CHILLY OUTSIDE, SHE RAN OUTSIDE WITH A SPOON! BAM! Would you like some ice to go with that burn?"

"HEY!"

"BOYS! Stop it! That is quite enough! In all my years, I have never-"

An owl flew into the classroom through an open window. It dropped a scroll on top of Flitwick's head. It rolled to the floor. Flitwick picked it up. He untied the scroll and unrolled it. It read:

Professor Flitwick,

My apologies for interrupting your class, but this matter is quite urgent. Ronald Weasley must be sent to my office immediately. No questions asked please. If you comply with this message, and excuse Mr. Weasley as soon as possible, and without any farther ado, then you shall receive a cookie. This is no ordinary cookie, either. It has sprinkles on it. And these are no ordinary sprinkles, either. They are rainbow sprinkles. I'm sure that you now understand the urgency in this. Thank you for your time. If you do as I asked, your cookie shall be arriving shortly.

Sincerely,

Albus Dumbledore

Flitwick wasted no time. He wanted that cookie.

"Weasley! Dumbledore's office, NOW! Hurry!"

"But-" started Ron.

"DAMMIT, WEASLEY! THIS IS NO ORDINARY COOKIE! I mean, if it was oatmeal raisin, things would be different, but it's not! Now hurry, dammit!"

Ron hurried out of the classroom. The teacher was really starting to scare him. He needed to get away as soon as possible.

But what could Dumbledore want? He thought. Yes, fortunately, his thoughts were still in English.

Sorry if this wasn't' one of my funniest chapters. Again, sorry it took so long to do this, but seventies talk takes a while to look up. Besides, I didn't know what to write. However, I do know what to do for my next chapter, and I believe that I have enough seventies talk for it, so it shouldn't take long to put up. Oh, and I almost forgot. Here are some English translations for you:

"Hello Hermione. You are a very cute girl. Would you like to have sex?"

"Ron, what are you talking about?"

Ron sighed. "Aw! Please, Hermione? Let's go into the bedroom."

Hermione stared incredulously at Ron. "I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Why do you have to be so mean? Don't you want to be intimate with me?"

"RON, JUST TALK LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!"

"Whoa! Calm down! Look, I can see that you're a little off today. Why don't you just relax for now, and I'll see you later. Is that okay with you?"

"What?"

"See you later."

Lol, yeah, I know, that's sick. What can I say though? Ron thinks he's a pimp in this story! Anyway, on to the next translation.

Ron walked up to his dorm. He took out his Seventies Slang Book and started reading the section entitled, "Quoting Star Wars."

Harry came up. "Hey Ron, what's up?"

Ron sighed. "Well… Okay, here's what happened. I was talking to Hermione, and being all pimpin', and she didn't understand me, so I left, and now I'll never get intimate with her, and I'm just so confused! Do you understand?" He looked at Harry hopefully.

"I'll be honest with you. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!"

"Dammit, Harry! Don't be so stupid! You are definitely not cool!"

Harry sighed. What's the point of arguing with him? I won't understand what he tells me. I might as well apologize.

"I'm sorry, Ron."

Ron stopped. "Yeah… I'm just a bit annoyed at what happened with Hermione. Give me a high five, Harry!"

Harry looked appalled. "I will not give you some of my skin!"

"Darn. Are you always going to disappoint me like that? Are you trying to insult me? I think I'm just going to go to sleep. May the force be with you, and good-night, Johnny-boy."

"MY NAME ISN'T JOHNNY, GOD DAMMIT!"

Note: I didn't translate those last phrases because I wanted to point out to you that they are both quotes from either a movie, or a T.V. show. That was a fairly popular thing to do in the seventies. On to the next translation!

Ron was currently in Charms. It had been an average day. Well, as average as you can get when you have a large red afro. Professor Flitwick asked them to copy the notes on the board. Dean, who was currently seated behind Ron, spoke.

"But, Professor! I can't see the board! All I can see is Ron's huge red afro!"

"Hey! Don't make fun of my hair!" said Ron, turning around to glare at Dean.

"Oh, and can you please make him stop TALKING LIKE A JACKASS?"

"HEY! THAT WASN'T NICE! ESPECIALLY WHEN YO MAMA IS SO STUPID THAT WHEN YO DADDY SAID IT WAS CHILLY OUTSIDE, SHE RAN OUTSIDE WITH A SPOON! BAM! Would you like some ice to go with that burn?"

"HEY!"

Note: I think that last one was pretty self-explanatory, actually.

Sorry if the translations were a little rough. And sorry if the chapter was too short. AND SORRY IF I'M A CRAPPY WRITER! I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY! Ha! lol, I'm starting to sound like Ritsu off of Fruits Basket. Think of that as my tribute to him! I am born in the year of the monkey after all:)